Chapter 1: When Your Lonely
Harry was still adjusting to life at Cherish Home. He had only lived here for three weeks before he was sent of to the Jenkins. It was meant for teenagers more than the early adolescents in foster care. In short that meant this is where you were put when adoption really wasn't an option any longer. Sure it was never outright said that no one wanted to adopt a teenager but the fact was it was much easier to raise a child than to fix a grown one.
Cherish Home was a lot stricter than many of the homes he had been at. Every thing was on a set schedule from meals to homework to free time. Hell, even in Harry's free time there were schedules to abide by.
During the week he had school, though it was a lost cause on him. He never really put the effort into learning when all he did was constantly switch schools. Now at sixteen, the troubled teen was two full school years behind and still dropping. After his school classes he had a variety of rehabilitation classes ranging from alcohol to stealing.
Today would be a good day though, Harry decided as he sat on his small bed. It was eight in the morning and if this were a usual day he would be hastily trying to finish some assignment he had neglected to do. He wouldn't have to deal with stupid lessons today because he was going with Remus to see Sirius.
Slowly he set his feet down on the cool floor and shuddered at the uncomfortable cold that seemed to seep into his feet. His room was small but he was grateful as he no longer had to have a room mate. Roommates were fun when you were ten but at sixteen there was a need for privacy that seemed impossible to attain in a group home.
His room consisted of his small bed, a dresser, and a beat up desk. He didn't bother to set out any of his personal items because he would only be packing them back up soon. Remus had told him that unpacking his things would help him adjust and gain a sense of belonging in his new home. Harry argued back that Cherish Home was not where he belonged and neither were the other places they forced him into. He didn't want to belong there. He belonged with Sirius, that was his home, and he would save his unpacking for when he was finally there.
He pulled on the jeans he had worn the night before along with the same shirt. He grabbed his green hoodie before leaving his room. Walking down the hall way he noticed that several of the doors not to far from his own were open and inside employees of Cherish Home were doing searches for contraband and the like.
Harry looked back at his door making a mental list of the items he knew would be found. He was about to turn back to his room when a steely voice made him halt in his steps.
"Breakfast is the other way Mr. Potter." Harry rolled his eyes before turning to face Mrs. Smith. She was the founder of Cherish Home. Her goal was to completely rehabilitate all the teens that came through her door. Harry hated her.
"I forgot something in my room."
"I'm sure you did Potter, but I am more than confident that it will be found when your room is searched." She smiled her stupid smile and Harry couldn't help the irritation that swept through him. "After breakfast I would like you to go to the nurses office to be tested."
"Remus is actually coming to get me." Harry smirked at that. It wouldn't mean he wouldn't have to be drug tested but it did at least mean a delay in Smith's perfect little schedule.
"And why is he picking you up when you have lessons today."
"I get to visit Sirius, he is getting out soon." At this Mrs. Smith visible scowled. Part of her rehabilitation program was that the teens that went through her home were to be sent to houses that shared her mind set. Sirius, a rehabilitated alcoholic and drug user, was not her idea of a perfect home.
"I expect you to be in the nurses office by 4 this afternoon. I'm sure they will have gone through your room by then and we will have plenty to talk about." With that she spun on one of her pointy black heels and left nose high in the air.
"Hag" Harry muttered under his breath before continuing on to the meal room. It consisted of three long tables. At the front of the room was the line to stand in to get a tray. It was like eating in a school cafeteria. Harry picked up his tray before moving to sit by one of his few friends in foster care, Seamus.
"Only you can piss Smith off after only being here for less than a day." Harry smiled at him before taking a bite of his eggs.
"Not my fault she has it out for me," Seamus smirked at that.
"So how was that family you were with?"
"Amusing" At Seamus' questioning glance Harry continued.
"They were certain that they could... what did they say... oh yeah, 'save me' from the pit I had fallen in. The dad had a talk with me every night and everyday I had to write in this stupid little book about how I was becoming a better person and what not. The other two boys were already brainwashed. They wanted me to join Boy Scouts or somethin."
They both laughed at the thought.
"Sucks about the search today."
"I haven't even got a chance to hide anything yet, it's all still in my bag." Harry glowered at this. Even Seamus looked a little sad.
"I don't think they'll find anything in my room, I've figured out where they don't look." They were silent for a while both finishing what was on their tray. Seamus like Harry had spent his entire life in the foster care system.
He was taller than Harry and had a thick Irish accent. Unlike Harry, Seamus was a pack rat and his room was full of items he had collected from his various homes. His room was one of the more difficult to search because of all the items so he was able to hide more.
Another similarity between the two was their coping mechanisms, primarily being drugs. Neither were proud of their dependence on any of the substances but you had to do some things to survive. That was life.
"You ready to go to class?" Harry looked up at the dark haired teen.
"Don't have to today, Remus is coming to get me."
"You suck." Harry laughed. "I'll see you tonight then." With that Seamus stood, dropped off his tray then proceeded toward the barracks outside where all the lessons were being held.
Harry sat for a while longer munching on a small pastry. All he had in his pack were some cigarettes and some coke. There wasn't even twenty dollars worth of the cocaine but it would be enough for Smith to really lay into him. Perhaps this day wasn't so good after all.
"You ready to go Harry?" The voice surprised him. Harry whipped his head around to see Remus standing behind him twirling his key ring on his finger.
"Definitely!" Harry stood dumping his own tray then following Remus out of Cherish Home.
"Everything working alright here?" The question was asked gently but Harry could tell Remus was asking more.
"Same as always, Smith is already on my back. I have a drug test this evening and they are searching rooms today."
"Mrs. Smith keeps a tight house. Its for your own good you know." Harry wisely chose to keep his mouth shut and instead turned the conversation to more neutral topics.
The drive toward the Surrey Jail House went by fairly quickly. Remus and Harry talked about movies and other trivial topics. When Harry noticed how close they were he got quiet and Remus didn't push for more conversation.
It had been nearly five months since Harry had last seen Sirius and his insides were squirming something awful. He hardly took notice as Remus spoke to the officer at the front desk nor did he focus to much when both he and Remus were patted down. His mind was spinning trying to remember every thing to tell Sirius. He was broken out of thought when Remus tapped him on the shoulder.
"You have fifteen minutes. They have only told him he is having a visitor so you can surprise him. I'll be waiting right here ok?." Harry nodded slowly and turned to make his way to the booth he was directed to.
A thick pane of glass separated him from where Sirius would sit. The butterflies in his stomach only got worse as he saw a guard leading his godfather towards him. Sirius' head was down so he didn't notice Harry until he was nearly seated. The smile on his godfathers face was enough to calm Harry's frazzled nerves. Together they picked up the phone that would allow them to speak.
"Harry, God it's good to see yah!"
"Hi Siri," Sirius smiled at the nickname.
"You look so grown up."
"It hasn't been that long you know" Harry said smiling.
"Feels like forever when your in here," they both grimaced. "How have you been?"
"Ok, I'm staying at this new place. Can't say I like it to much, but it's temporary so nothing to worry about, right?"
"Right." Harry smiled, his emerald eyes glittering with the hope of finally getting to go home. They chatted about some of the places Harry had stayed, laughing at some of the families strange antics. Harry told Sirius all about the evil Mrs. Smith and Sirius told him about a professor he used to have that was just like her.
"I miss you so much," the teen's voice shook, "but you're getting out soon right? Then you can come and get me." Harry was so intent on the question that he didn't notice the pause before Sirius' answer.
The convict looked at his godson, whom was holding the phone so securely it was like it was his life line. He didn't miss the hope brimming in the emerald eyes nor the desperation in his voice.
"Of course I'll come get you. I can't live with out my heart." Harry placed his hand up against the glass in front of him. Sirius raised his as well placing it against the glass. Harry wished it would just disappear and that Sirius could hold him and tell him everything would be alright.
"We'll change. I know we can do it all right this time! I won't mess up, I promise." Harry spoke these words in a reverent tone.
"Harry you are perfect, it was never you messing things up!" The guard appeared behind Sirius' shoulder and Harry could tell that their time was up. "I have to go kiddo, but I'll be seeing you real soon." Harry nodded and both moved their hand from the glass.
"See you soon."
Harry turned to see Remus but was surprised to see the man glaring at Sirius. He turned back to his godfather to see he looked rather ashamed.
"Remus?" The sandy haired man snapped his attention to the teen in front of him.
"Let's go Harry." Harry was surprised at the usually soft spoken man's tone. With one last look at Sirius, Harry followed Remus out of the jail and back to his car. Before Harry could question the man's odd behavior, Remus was offering lunch. Eager to eat at a place where the food didn't come on a tray, Harry let the question slide.
He figured he might as well enjoy what was left of his afternoon because this evening was surely going to be bad.
A. N. I can't remember what movie had the line about "I can't live without my heart" but I figured I should mention it