Chapter 3: Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed And Returned Ruined

Liz POV

"Stupid Ms. Thompson." I mumble under my breath as I head down to the principal's office. Geez, just because she can't handle the truth doesn't mean she should take it out on me. I continue walking down the deserted hallways and until I reach my destination. The seventh gate of hell, otherwise known as the principal's office. As I open the door I'm surprised to see-.

"Kyle, what are you doing here?"

"Buddha says you must free one's spirit and mind and then only can you reach a higher plateau." What is he talking about?

I've known Kyle since we were in fourth grade. You know ever since he beat up Doug for Maria and me when he was pushing us around on the playground. Well, actually he tried to beat up Doug. The truth is Doug punched him out and Maria was so mad she jumped Doug and well, let's just say Doug ran off crying. When Kyle came to, he couldn't remember what happened so we told him he beat up Doug. You know fragile male egos. Kyle just naturally believed it and Doug was too embarrassed to tell anyone he was beat up by a girl so… And we've been friends ever since. Then last year he went away to football camp and I don't know how but he came back a Buddhist.

"Um…Okay. And in English that means?"

"It's my free period; I'm just delivering something for the librarian." Why can't he just say these things like a normal person? "So Liz, what brings you to the seventh gate of hell?" See what did I tell you?

"Stupid Ms. Thomason." Yeah the old spinster couldn't handle that I was getting love notes and she wasn't.

"Love note? Who'd you get a love note from?" He asked suddenly interested.

"Darn it! I gotta stop saying these things out loud!" I shout incredulously. I swear I have a problem or something. I wonder if they have treatment for this sort of thing.

"So… What happened?" What happened? What happened! That evil old bat is what happened.

"Well, I don't know where to start." I say trying to stall for time.

"Well, how about you start with who sent you the love letter." Dang it! He remembered. Obviously he could tell what I was thinking because he started laughing at me.

"Well, the letter was from…"

"From…?" Crap, he's not gonna let this go.

"It was from Jay."

"Really?" He asks. Is that disbelief in his voice?

"Yes really! Is it totally inconceivable that I would get a love note from Jay, or just inconceivable that I could get a love note ever?" I shout at him angrily.

"No, we went out too remember? I was just going to say that it's about time." What? I didn't tell you that Kyle and I used to go out? Well, I was kind of Kyle's first girlfriend. We were only together for about a month and we realized it was too awkward and that we were better off as friends so we broke up. His dad was just glad to find out his son wasn't batting for the other team since he spent so much time with Maria and I.

"Oh."

"Okay, so you got a letter from Jay and…"

"And he was asking me if I wanted to go to the party at the old soap factory with him."

"And how does that lead to you getting sent to the principal's office?" He asks confused.

"Well, um…I was kind of excited when I finished the note that I um…kind of squealed because I was so excited…"

"So she sent you down here because you disrupted the class? Man, what a witch."

"Well…that's not exactly it. See, after I squealed she glared at me and I was thinking that just because she didn't get love letters that she shouldn't ruin it for the rest of us who do and that it's no surprise because she's no spring chicken…and…"

"So wait, why were you sent here again? He asked even more confused than before. You think he'd be used to it. I mean he's friends with Maria and me after all. Lord knows Alex is used to it by now.

"Well, you know what I was thinking? You know that she wasn't a spring chicken and everything? Well I kind of said that out loud."

"What! You said that out loud?" He asks cracking up. "Oh man, I wish I could've been there to see her face!"

"Oh just ask Alex later. I think he took a picture with his digital camera." I inform him.

"Oh man that was good! So that's why she sent you down here then?" He asked still laughing.

"Well actually, she was only yelling at me until I told her it was true and then she sent me down here." I tell him.

"Dude Liz stop! I can't…breathe…" He said between laughter.

"What? It's not my fault that the aliens forgot to remove her anal probe!"

"Oh man Liz! I think I'm gonna pee my pants! I'll be right back!" And with that said, he ran out the door and down the hallway.

(5 min. later)

"So Kyle, how are things between your dad and Maria's mom?" Kyle makes a face and I can tell he's grossed out by whatever he's about to tell me.

"It's sickening; they won't keep their hands off of each other! I found them making out in the pantry in the kitchen! And Maria found them making out in the laundry room. I'm telling you, no kid should be subjected to this. It's just so…wrong." He says with a shudder.

"Well, they are engaged." I remind him. "So, where are you all going to live?"

"My dad and Amy are looking for around for a three bedroom house and we're all going to live together." He looks as if he just tasted something horrible. "Do you know what kind of permanent damage I face in that situation?" He asks.

"Oh come on Kyle, it won't be that bad. At least you and Maria are friends and who knows; maybe it'll be good to have some estrogen to counteract all the testosterone." I say in what I hope is a comforting voice.

"See that's what I mean, Maria IS my friend, I don't want to find her underwear all over the house or find her girly products in the bathroom, and I definitely don't want to see her mom making out with my dad. Plus, I don't trust anything that can bleed for three to five days and not die."

"Hey! As a woman I am officially offended!" I say smacking him upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For being a sexist pig! You're just lucky Maria isn't here, but don't think I won't tell her what you said." I tell him and for a second I see the fear enter his eyes. Ha ha. That's right, now you're screwed. Mwa ha ha ha ha. I laugh maniacally in my head.

I was just in the middle of one of my ha's when I hear the door to the principal's office open and see the secretary standing there.

"Ms. Parker, the principal will see you now." Then she turns and walks back in through the door.

"Good luck." Kyle says sarcastically, still rubbing the spot on his head where I smacked him. So with a final shove, I hurry into the principal's office. Pausing only at the door to hear the loud thud that told me Kyle had in fact fallen off the chair. Mission accomplished. And with that done, I take a deep breath and head the rest of the way into the principal's office.