Sorry it has been so long! I finally have a new laptop, I'm into college, or university as we call it over here, and I'm struggling to understand the procedures here. And the internet system. And histoiry. And law...and...and bony people...O.O

ANYWAY, excuse the bloody typos, the keyboard still needs somke getting used to!#

Thanks for the support, you've all been great and I can rest assure you that while I might take a while, I'm never going to give up ,my fanfic writing. I'd also like to make an announcement.

I'm going to try and write a noverl./

But don't worry. Because fanficcing is still a high priority for me.

Keep up the support, you all know I love the reviews! Until next time! Lend me your support.

Chapter 4

If there was one thing that Dante hated, it was his driving instructor. His name? Andy Dong. Despite the hilarities of his name, Andy hated anything to do with humour, but poor Dante just couldn't stay away from his miserably cheesy one liners. He sincerely thought he was funny, that people loved to laugh with him. He was sadly mistaken, people laughed at him, not with him. And it seemed as though the whole world and their auntie knew this with the exception of the red-clad demon hunter.

So it was that Dante found himself sitting miserably in his office, watching the clock tick and watching as the time slid closer and closer to the time for his lesson. One might wonder why Dante, the driver of the motorcycle was even taking lessons again. Well, it was precisely because he was the driver of the motorcycle. He had a knack for destroying them all, even the ones that didn't belong to him. Even to this day, Lady had tried to chase him down, constantly begging for her cycle to be replaced. Dante had refused to listen, mainly because he could think of better uses for his money. Like on prostitutes and hamster food.

Speaking of which...

He looked lovingly towards his pride and joy, his hamster, known to all and sundry as Bobo-stinky-winky-tiddly-toddly-poo. His real name however, was Zone. Not that anyone knew, or remotely cared. Dante watched as Zone continued to participate in his favourite activity, which seemed to consist ferrying odd balls of something or another around his cage, into his hamster house and then making funny noises.

If Dante had known that Zone was secretly planning to destroy the world by using an extremely destructive laser and then becoming Earth's ruler, Dante might have thought differently about his beloved pet.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and Dante choked on the bottle cap of his beer. The thought that perhaps it would be best if Dante didn't drink before driving never occured to him this day. Or the day before. Or the day before that. In fact, Dante had never seen any of the adverts depicting the dangers of drinking and driving. And he probably never would. Dante hadn't paid for a TV lisence as of yet, and his television set merely sat in the corner of his office, acting like a truly horrendous decoration piece; not so long ago, Dante had thrown his sword through it in an attempt to make it work. Dante had then stared at his destroyed TV set and then labeled it as art. And there it had stayed, acting as a sad reminder that Dante would never find the energy to take out the trash.

The doorbell rang again and Dante got up, staring at it wildly, praying that Andy would just go away after a little while. He sat down again before fidgeting nervously. The doorbell rang again. Dante's underarms began to itch. The doorbell rang again and Dante found himself breaking out into a sweat. The doorbell rang again and Dante swallowed hard, nerously, whimpering. Zone twitched his whiskers curiously before staring at him. Dante glared at him warningly.

'Don't give me away, Bobo! Or else your hamster wheel gets it!' Dante threatened in a low voice. Zone twitched his whiskers again before scuttling back inside his hamster house. He had better things to do. Like making hamster sized smart bombs. Dante remained frozen in place, staring at the front door avidly, as though afraid it would suddenly grow teeth and try and eat him. Which it once tried to do after an infestant decided to try and have it's way with the door, mistaking the splintered decayed piece of wood for a demon. To cut a very long and perverted story

short, the infestant was less than pleased when the door failed to respond to it's amorous advances and decided to possess it after trying to rape it and then proceeded to try and eat Dante.

The doorbell remained quiet for a further five minutes, but Dante knew better than to relax his guard. His pride suddenly surfaced and he growled, grabbing his sword.

'Come on, punk!' he threatened the door under his breath. 'Let's see what you got, punk! Yeah punk! Just bring it!' The door made no noise, and the doorbell remained silent. Dante, stung into retaliation by the door's obstinate silence screamed before throwing himself at the door, yelping with surprise as the door collapsed under his weight and sent him sprawling into the ground at Andy Dong's feet.

Andy had been teaching Dante how to drive and not destroy things for six months now. And every time he tried to collect Dante for his driving lesson, Dante had always greeted him in a cack-handed manner such as this. He was no longer surprised. He checked his watch. Dante had held out for a full two minutes this time.

'Good morning!' he said cheerfully. Dante picked himself up from the ground and grumbled something under his breath. Andy smiled at him happily. 'How are you today?'

'Rummph...grumph..retchin frechin mugunama...' Dante muttered unintelligably. Andy took this to mean "Ruumph...retching from fetching my mother." Andy smiled widely, determined to try and be as professional as he could.

'Oh is that so, Mr. Dante? How is your mother?' Little did Andy know, that this was precisely the wrong thing to say. Dante stared at him and muttered several curse words to himself before screaming and launching himself at the driving instructor. Andy neatly side-stepped to one side and opened the driver's seat, slamming the door onto him and fastening his seatbelt as Dante tried desperately to scramble away. 'Now now Mr. Dante,' he whispered soothingly. 'We go through this whole rigamarole every time we have to have a lesson together. I was rather hoping that we wouldn't have to this time!' Dante had fallen silent, the way he always did when Andy said this sentence. Little did poor Andy know was that it wasn't because Dante had actually listened and obeyed him. It was, in actual fact, because Dante didn't know what a rigamarole was, and was trying to figure out the meaning of the word.

Andy looked towards Dante speculatively before finally believing that his pupil had finally calmed down. He sat down in the passenger's seat and then grinned at Dante. 'Okay then, now, what's the routine you always have to do before starting off?'

'Check for demons, run them over, and then dance on their grave!' Dante yelled happily. Andy looked at him, like how one might look at a rotting potato. With disgust.

'No, Dante,' he said slowly, patronisingly, as though he was talking to a toddler. 'The other routine.'

'Oh, that shitty boring thing. Check your seat. Check the doors. Check the mirrors, check the seatbelt, check your blindspots.'

'Very good Dante!' Andy said, smiling widely, rewarding Dante with a sticky lollypop that he had been given by an overenthusiastic teenarger some time ago. Like six years ago, to be precise. Dante squealed with happiness before trying to eat it with the wrapper still on. Andy sighed softly. 'Okay, Dante. So why don't we do all those things you just talked about?' he said patiently. Dante immediately began sniffing the

seat and stuck his head out the door to sniff at the mirrors. Andy stared at him, beginning to feel more and more annoyed.

'What the hell are you doing?' he snapped. Dante looked at him, thought about the question before grinning.

'Checking the mirrors!' Andy paused, bit his lip and then decided to say nothing. He had been next to wierder students. Like the girl who insisted on throwing a frozen sausage at anybody who was riding a bicycle. If Dante felt he had to sniff the mirrors to check that he could see through him, then fine. Little did poor Andy know was that Dante was sniffing the mirrors for demons.

Eventually, Dante was satisfied that the car had not been pissed upon by devils and started the car, promptly snarling as the engine roared to life. Andy massaged his temples and sighed softly to himself. Why did he always get the wierdos? And Dante was one of the worst wierdos he had met too. Dante continued to snarl at the car engine before finally calming down, clearing his throat sheepishly and then squaring his shoulders, as though he was about to do battle with a huge tyrant or something.

'Right, Dante...' Andy began. 'Now, to pull away from here.' Andy sat back after giving his eight word speech. He closed his eyes and sighed to himself, wishing that he had brought himself a good book. Because didn't Dante always take half an hour to remember how to put the car into gear? And then didn't it always take the demon hunter another forty minutes to actually pull away from his drive? But each and ever lesson, Andy had forgotten his books and his magazines, as well as his PSP and his I-Pod and all other accesories he needed in order to fight off bordom. Dante gave a sudden whoop of triumph and the car suddenly lurched forward, straight into the patch of an oncoming car. Andy screamedand wet his pants, dante laughed with wild delight as he sped towards the approaching car before checking to see that Andy had his eyes closed with fear and promptly blew up the car using his Ifrit gauntlets.

'ROAR!' yelled the gauntlets.

'YAY!' squealed Dante.

'BLURGH!' groaned Andy, who had just leaned his head out of the window to puke. Dante looked at him almost sympathetically before scowling.

'Pansy!' he bellowed. Andy just turned even more green and started to cry. The rest of the lesson went downhill after that, ending dramatically as Dante saw a hedgehog walking along the pavement as calm as you please and tried to run it over, thinking it was an evil demon. To cut a long and embarassing story short, Dante ended up driving the car up over the curb, onto the pavement, running over the hedgehog and bursting his front tire in the process. Andy could have wept with anger and hurt. The hedgehog had been a constant visitor into his garden and had kept his little daughter happy for ages. Now there was no more hedgehog, but more importantly, no spare tire to undo the mess that Dante had seemingly-intentionally gotten themselves into.

As Andy got out of the car to try and unscrew the burst tire from the car, it began to rain. Andy sneezed and looked miserably at Dante, who merely sat there and watched him, looking vaguely interested by the whole procedure. But while Dante stayed high and dry, Andy got soaked through by freezing rain water. Dante smiled happily before suddenly getting out of the car and ambling up to him amicably.

'How bad is it?' he asked cheerfully. Andy looked up at him woefully.

'Very bad.'

'What are you doing?'

'I'm going to undo the tire, and then I'm going to call someone to help us.'

'Oh, okay.' Dante watched as Andy struggled futily with the tire-jack. Then he

noticed the people who were driving past them and staring at them as they went. Dante then grinned and struck a pose, always happy to oblige. Andy stared up at him balefully.

'What are you doing?'

'Posing?'

'It would be nice if you coiuld give me a bit of help.'

'No. I'd rather just stand here and look pretty!' Dante sang at him. Andy grumbled some curse-words before he resumed trying to work the jack. Dante watched him for a little while longer before getting bored.

'Okay. I'm bored. And hungry.'

'Just wait, I'm nearly done!' yelled poor Andy.

'Okay...' Dante waited for about two seconds. 'Done yet?'

'No.'

'Now?'

'No.'

'How about now?'

'NO!' Dante pouted, fidgeted, scratched his hair, scratched his bum, counted his teeth with his tongue before sighing heavily.

'This is boring. I'm going to go now. Bye. Thanks for the lesson!' And with that, Dante walked off, back to his house, which was only five minutes away. He smiled with satisfaction. Yes, all in all, he felt that his driving lesson had gone very well indeed!