Disclaimer: These are real people, and I don't own them in anyway - I just like to play with them a bit.
This is Shonen ai! if you don't like the idea of two boys together, don't read this!
Still Here
It was a giant ball of emotion that I just couldn't keep inside anymore. When you appeared on the opposite side of the stage, smiling over at me, I felt my legs give out. Kimeru and Nagayan were at my side, hugging me, telling me how proud they were...
But you didn't come over.
I watched as Shirotan, who was closest, pull you into a hug. My eyes were blurry with tears, but I could still see how happy you were. Our eyes made contact. I was sure you could see how hard I was crying. You looked a bit worried. You made to come over but Shirotan kept you in his bear-like embrace, laughing and grinning.
Stupid Shirotan.
He kept you from me for the rest of the ending ceremonies. I cried the whole way through, did you notice? Even though I had Kime and Nagayan comforting me, rubbing my back and patting my shoulder, I still cried.
I missed you so much.
When the whole ordeal was over, I retreated back into my dressing room. It was hard to get there with Kaji-kun and Zukki celebrating, pulling me into tight hugs every few seconds with the occasional: "Great job, Yanagi! You were awesome out there!"
I sighed as I was able to get away from the big crowds. I'm sure Kime was looking for me, having lost me back at the top of the stairs. Were you looking for me too?
Did you miss me too?
With a sob, I sat down on my dressing room stool, head in my hands. It's all over isn't it? The finality of that statement rang over and over in my thoughts. No more rehearsal. No more screaming fans and encouraging fanmail, no more Ryoma...
Will you disappear too?
After all, we really only became so close after we began to share the character of Echizen. Now that it's no more, will we...?
I choked back fresh tears. It won't end this way will it? Will it be like this at the end of the day? Just a handshake and a 'See you later', when later could mean tomorrow, or even next month?
The door creaked open and I hurriedly wiped the wetness from my face.
"Nande?" I croaked, my voice sounding harsh from the strain of holding back.
"Koutarou...?" I heard you whisper, and I looked up, shocked.
"Yuuyan..." I must have looked so pathetic to you there, eyes red and puffy, face stained with tears. You didn't seem to notice that though as you came over to me and took me into your arms.
Did you know how loved I felt right then? How great you made me feel in that one moment when you hugged me?
I cried harder then, but I wasn't sad anymore. I was happy and afraid. I didn't want to lose you, Yuuyan. We had gone through so much together in the past couple of years, and right then, we were facing the possibility of losing it all.
You just held me tighter, brushing the hair back from my face and pressing a cool kiss to my forehead.
"Daijoubu Koutarou. I'm still here," you said softly, rubbing my back. "Don't cry, Kou-chan... Kaji's the crybaby, ne?"
I gave a watery laugh, shoving you slightly, though not enough to dislodge the hug. "Baka..."
"Are you afraid?" You asked. It seemed like an innocent enough question, but you knew...You always seemed to know.
I gave a small nod, pressing closer to you. Even though I was scared, I think I was happier that I was in your arms. I felt like I never wanted to be separated from you again. "It's all over..." I said with a shaky sigh.
You gave a small laugh. I didn't see what was so funny. "It's not over, Kou-chan," you explained, smiling down to me. "We're both in the D-boys. I'm sure we'll get another production together. And we don't live that far, plus it doesn't hurt to call."
I smiled back at that. "I know...but I'm still going to miss this." I glanced sideways to the dressing room table, littered with my small belongings.
"Well, you'll have something new to look forward to, ne?" I looked back up at you, some confusion showing in my face. All you did was smile. You tilted your head down, and I felt a million butterflies spawn in my stomach at once. When your lips touched mine, I couldn't help but start to cry again.
"Shh, Kou-chan," you whispered, pulling me close into another hug. I must have clung back pretty hard, because when you spoke again, your voice sounded strained. "I'll always be here."
I kept those words with me for a long time afterwards. Remembering the feel of your hug, how you smelt, and how soft your voice was always calmed me down when I got frustrated or depressed.
You were true to your words, though. You're still here. Even now, as you sleep, you're right by my side. You're there when I go to sleep and when I wake up, when we come home from separate auditions.
That day, my Graduation... It was the end of my role in the musical, but the beginning of us. Even when I think back to all that happened that day, and I cry because I miss it all, it's not that depressing anymore.
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Glossary:
Nande? - What is it?
Daijobu - it's okay
Ne? - Right?
Baka - idiot/stupid
A/N: Wow..first time I've written these two, and first time I've used first person... I hope you enjoy it. Please comment! ...>>: Flames will be used to make my AxelMuse happy.
