Title: Wish (3/9)
Author: WhosJeebus
Rating: M
Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises
Beta: Jennie B.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...
Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes, Christmas miracles happen in the most unexpected of ways...
Rant: Well, damn. Didn't quite make it to twenty reviews, but it's been a week, and I keeps my promises. Enjoy chapter 3, (it's one of my faves) and I'll see you again in ten review or next Sunday! Happy MLK Day! (01/16/06)
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Chapter 3:
(6 days 'til Christmas)
When the doorbell rang the first time, Joey had been busy scouring the internet for the perfect pumpkin pie recipe, and his preoccupied brain hadn't immediately registered the sound. On the third ring, the melodic chime managed to cut through his intense concentration, and he scurried downstairs to answer the door, taking the steps two and three at time. To be honest, Joey had been a little frustrated by the ill-timed interruption, but when he flung open the door to see his father standing on the front stoop, nervously shuffling his feet, all traces of irritation vanished immediately. Flinging his arms around the elder Wheeler, Joey greeted him with warmth and enthusiasm.
"Dad! It's great to see you!" Pulling back from the hug, he spied the green and gold foil-wrapped present that his father clutched anxiously to his chest. Amber eyes widened with curiosity. "So... what didja bring me?"
Stan Wheeler laughed loudly; a jovial, full-bodied sound completely unlike his weak, mean-spirited chuckles of the recent past. His current complexion, though not quite the healthy tan Joey remembered from his childhood, was no longer sickly and pallid, and even if there were a few more wrinkles and grey hairs than there ought to be at his age, the resemblance between father and son was still rather uncanny.
Raising one hand and running his fingers through his dark blond hair in a gesture eerily reminiscent of Joey himself, Stan asked, "What? I can't just drop by to visit my only son without bringing a bribe?" He dangled the small box over Joey's head.
"Not at Christmastime, you can't." Joey eagerly grabbed the present and offered, "Wanna come in for a bit?"
"I'd like to Joey, but I'm just here on my lunch break, and it takes forever to drive out to the boonies where you rich folk like to live."
"Ha fuckin' ha." Joey nudged his father's shoulder playfully. "You didn't drive all the way out here just to drop off a gift. What's up, Pops?"
Stan shuffled his feet some more. "Why don't you go ahead and open it? I've got some bad news, and maybe my peace offering will keep you from opening up a can of whoop-ass all over me."
Joey narrowed his eyes and began attacking the shiny wrapping. "Fair enough."
Taking a deep breath, Stan expelled his story in a rush. "Remember Kim? The woman from work that came out to dinner with us on Seto's birthday?"
Joey nodded. "Yeah. She was nice."
"Well, now she'd like to finally meet Serenity, so she's... invitedthetwoofusoverforChristmasdinner."
Joey looked up from his avid examination of the small, ornate box his efforts had revealed, and stared at his father, blinking rapidly. "'Scuse me? I didn't catch that last part."
He took another deep breath. "If you'd be OK with it, I'd like to take Serenity to Kim's place for dinner on Christmas Day. Her parents are coming in to visit for the first time in eight years, and she wants to show off her new beau and his lovely daughter." He proudly hefted himself up to his full height and gave Joey a roguish grin. "And who can blame her, really? A handsome, upwardly mobile guy like myself is quite a catch. I'll be sure to have them eating out of the palm of my hand." His demeanour turned serious again, and he put a hand on Joey's shoulder. "It would mean a lot to me, and to Serenity too, I'm sure, if you could see fit to forgive us both for missing your big holiday dinner."
Joey hung his head for a moment, looking down at the ground in concentration. The elder Wheeler, fearing he'd hurt his son's feelings, opened his mouth to take it all back, when suddenly. the shaggy blond head shot upwards again. A wide grin split Joey's face from ear to ear, and he exclaimed proudly, "You ol' dog, you!" He wrapped an elbow around his father's neck and pulled him down into a fierce one-armed hug. "You never told me that this was gettin' serious! When's the wedding, Tiger?" He released the older man with a wink and a swift punch to the arm.
Chuckling, Stan looked down at his son sheepishly. "You're one to talk. I'm expecting grandkids from you two soon." Joey turned pale, and his father laughed even harder. "Speaking of which, how do you like your present?"
"Huh?" Examining the wooden box in his hand, Joey spied the tiny latch and flipped it open, lifting the lid to reveal an etched crystal bottle and stopper, nestled amongst crimson velvet. The bottle was filled with a thick, dark red liquid, and as he lifted it from its container, he spied a small tag tied around the handle. "Spiced cranberry massage oil... " he read. "Oooh, snazzy! This must've cost a mint!"
The older man's eyes misted up, just a little. "It wasn't cheap, and even if sounds cheesy, I think you're worth it, Kid." Clearing his throat, Stan recovered his composure and indicated the writing on the other side of the tag. Brightening, he pointed out, "Uh, it says down here in the fine print that you can use it for lube, too."
Joey's mouth dropped open and he flushed an alarming shade of scarlet, nearly vivid enough to rival the massage oil itself. "DAD!"
"What? That's pretty useful, ain't it?"
"Well, yeah... but Seto and I do more than just have sex!"
His father looked puzzled. "Really? What the hell else do you have in common?"
Joey continued to gape, opening and closing his mouth in a decent imitation of a recently landed fish. "That's not --" he stammered. "You can't just --" At a loss for words, he finally just burst out laughing instead. "The hell with it. Thanks, Dad." He pulled the other man into a final embrace. "Mokuba and I are gonna miss you at dinner on Sunday, but be sure and tell Kim I said Merry Christmas, OK?"
Stan awkwardly patted Joey on the back. "You sure you're alright with this? I know Seto's gonna be out of town, and you were planning some big shindig..."
"Nah, it's cool. You can make it up to me on my birthday next month. You crazy kids just have fun."
Waving, Stan Wheeler made his way down the long walkway toward his car, and Joey closed the front door after him. He made his way back up the stairs in a half-daze, avidly reading the label on his gift as he went. Dang, so his Dad was right...
Shaking his head in fond exasperation, he set the bottle of oil on the shelf above Seto's computer and pondered the vagaries of a life that put him in the parental role, with his father as penitent supplicant. Sometimes, he mused, you live long enough to see things come full circle, and even get a few good laughs out of the process. He was certainly going to miss his family's presence at Christmas dinner, but the pride that Joey felt in his father's miraculous transformation, coupled with his eagerness to see the man genuinely happy for the first time in years, far outweighed his meager disappointment. Stan Wheeler had made every effort possible to rejoin his son's life, and the least that Joey could do to show his appreciation was to play the part of the dutiful son. It was an unfamiliar and frightening role for him sometimes, but a welcome one nonetheless. Seto also struggled with his own significant other status every now and again; so used to being alone with only Mokuba to answer to, that the prospect of a doting 'father-in'law' often left him flustered and out of sorts. Joey snickered. Just wait till he heard about the lube...
The sound of the doorbell snapped him out of his reverie once again, and Joey hurried back down the stairs and into the foyer, calling as he went, "Did you forget to give me something, Pops? A bondage swing and nipple clamps, maybe? Just as long as it's not a fur-lined thong like the one you gave Seto for his birthday last year!" Smiling, Joey opened the front door, revealing Tristan Taylor with his finger poised over the doorbell and a smug grin affixed to his face. To his left stood Duke Devlin, busily jabbering away on his cell phone and ignoring them both.
"A fur-lined what again?" Tristan asked with barely concealed curiosity.
"Uh, hey guys. What's up?"
"Merry Christmas to you too, shit-head. Is that anyway to greet your best bud? Especially when he comes bearing gifts?" Tristan shoved a large, haphazardly-wrapped square box at Joey's chest, and then elbowed his way past his friend and into the front hall. "Hey, should I ask Seto to model that birthday present for us when he gets back into town?" Joey made a face at Tristan's retreating back, and turned to shut the door. Before the gap could close entirely, Duke agilely slipped through, and gave the blond a terse nod as he went by. He proceeded to focus on his seemingly one-sided conversation, his voice rising steadily in volume.
"No, you idiot! I said 300 chocolate truffles, not 3000!" He paused for a moment, listening intently. "No, no and NO! That's thirty apiece! I'm not sending my guests into a diabetic coma for Christmas you deaf, semi-retarded troglodyte! What's that? Are you threatening me?"
Tristan gave Joey a friendly whack on the back, and rolled his eyes in Duke's direction. "Don't pay any attention to him. He's getting stressed over that stupid Christmas Eve party, so he won't be any sort of company until it's over and done with. I told him to just keep it to friends and family, but he wanted to go semi-formal and fabulous, the big ham."
"Heh. I coulda warned him about that. This year's annual board of directors Christmas party at Kaiba Corp was a freakin' nightmare. 'Course, this is comin' from a guy who had to have his arm twisted behind his back until he yelled 'uncle' before he'd agree to put on a monkey suit, so what do I know?"
Tristan laughed. "Damn. Sorry I missed that particular show. Tell me someone took pictures."
"You don't read the newspaper much, do ya Tris?"
A loud snort drew both boys' attention back to the third individual in their midst. "I'm sorry, my mother's a what? I couldn't quite understand what you were saying because of all the senseless donkey braying that keeps coming out of your mouth!." Duke's face was practically apoplectic with rage. "Why you little -- Put your fucking supervisor on the phone right this minute!"
Tristan sighed. "Anyway, I take it you won't be attending the festivities?"
"Sorry man, it's just not my scene, and without Seto around to keep me from fallin' flat on my face in front of all those rich snoots..." He trailed off, giving an apologetic shrug. "Besides, I'm cookin' a holiday dinner the next day, and I need all the prep time I can get."
"As long as you've got the fire department on speed dial, I think you'll be alright."
Affronted, Joey started to protest, but a mischievous thought had occurred to him instead, and he smirked evilly. "Speakin' of which, you're not gonna believe what Mokuba told me about Seto yesterday --"
"Oh YEAH? Well, same to you and the horse you rode in on, you worthless dip-shit! You go right ahead and send me that caterer's bill, and I'll be sure to wipe my ass on it and mail it right back to you!" Breathing heavily, Duke flipped his phone shut with a curse, and then glared around the room at his two shocked friends.
Joey broke the silence first. "You kiss my little sister with that mouth?"
"Among other things. Tris, you didn't let him open the gift without me, did you?" Duke whined. When Tristan shook his head no, the green-eyed boy promptly turned to Joey and wrapped an arm tightly around his shoulders. "Oh, you're gonna love it. All my idea, of course."
With all the uproar, Joey had almost forgotten about the large box in his arms, and he promptly tore into it, tossing colourful paper and ribbon left and right in his haste to get a look inside.
"Save the bow!" shrieked Duke, but it was demolished before the words had even left his lips.
Joey reached into the box and pulled out a fully decorated, ceramic Christmas tree about a foot and a half tall. It rested on a small wooden stand that featured a very large, very tempting red button right in the center of it. "Hey, what's this button do?"
"Ah, famous last words..." Tristan reached over and took the tree from Joey, holding it up to demonstrate. "Have you ever seen those picture frames that let you record personal messages and play them back?" Joey bit his lip, nodding. "Well, this is the same kind of thing. You push the button, and it spits out a random phrase, all pre-recorded by yours truly, along with the rest of the gang, too. Go ahead and give it a try."
Joey eagerly pressed the button, and was instantaneously greeted by Yugi's chipper voice, bright and crystal clear: "Merry Christmas, Joey and Seto!" A huge smile graced the blond's features and, awestruck, he pressed it again, only to hear a surly, "Get that thing the fuck out of my face!" from Bakura. Tristan shrugged. "Some people were more co-operative than others."
The three of them took turns with the new toy, until Joey figured that they must have cycled through everyone's catchphrase at least twice. In addition to Yugi and Bakura, the talking tree gave him a unique demonstration of holiday cheer from nearly everyone he knew.
Ryou wished him a 'very merry Christmas and a happy New Year' in his soft-spoken voice, followed by, "Best holiday wishes to you both," from Ishizu, sounding regal and refined as always.
Duke and Tristan, giving their best impressions of a pair of eleven year-olds, chimed in together with an impromptu rendition of 'Jingle Bells, Batman Smells', while Marik merely stammered out a confused, "Where's the part I'm supposed to talk into, again?"
Serenity hoped that her big brother had 'the very best Christmas ever', while Mai contributed a brief but cheerful, "What they said."
Téa's lengthy and boisterous message was interrupted by Marik jumping in again to say, "Wait! I didn't get my turn yet!", and Joey was under the impression that Yami's 'bah, humbug' had finally rounded out the group.
But, unable to resist the urge, he pushed the button one final time and received a welcome surprise. Seto's voice, slightly muffled via speaker phone, drifted to his delighted ears. "When Devlin told me about this 'talking tree' idea, I thought it sounded atrocious." A pause. "Actually, I still do, but I bet you have a smile on your face right now, so it's worth it. Merry Christmas Joey; I miss you more than words can say. Oh, and this thing better be put up in a closet somewhere by the time I get back."
Choking back happy tears, Joey removed the expensive vase that rested on a large marble pedestal in the entryway, and replaced it with the garish Christmas tree. "Thanks, you guys. This was totally thoughtful of you, and I love it."
Tristan gave his friend an embarrassed, 'aw shucks' sort of semi-hug, while Duke enthusiastically tried to squeeze the very breath out of him. When Joey was about to begin protesting his lack of air, the other boy's cell phone rang shrilly, startling them both. Duke jumped away, laughing, and checked the caller ID. "Shit. It's my next door neighbor. I gotta take this." One finger in his ear, he stepped into an adjacent room and promptly began yelling into the receiver. "Hello? What? On my lawn? You're fucking joking!"
Tristan and Joey merely exchanged amused glances while their companion stomped through the front half of the Kaiba mansion, gesticulating wildly and shouting at some poor, hapless person on the other end of the line. Eventually, Duke came back around full circle, and halted in front of Tristan, closing the phone again with a snap. "Fucking unbelievable. The moronic caterers have apparently delivered 173 pounds of traditional English plum pudding to my house instead of the game shop, and now the neighbor's kids are playing in it!" He glanced at Joey apologetically. "Sorry Blondie, but I'm going to have to cut this love-fest short. Tris? You coming with?"
The brunet shoved his hands deep in his front pockets and mumbled, "Uh, if you don't really need my help, I'd like to hang here with Joey a bit." He looked up and met green cat's eyes. "That is, if you don't mind..." He blushed a light shade of pink when he realized his faux pas. "Oh, and, uh, only if it's OK with Joey, too."
Duke arched one eyebrow slightly, but didn't otherwise comment. "Joey, are you cool with giving Tristan a lift home later on?"
Befuddled at his friends' odd behaviour, Joey nodded slowly. When Duke leaned forward as if to plant a kiss on Tristan's cheek, the blond became even more perplexed. The other two boys caught themselves just in time, and both shrugged off the awkward moment as if nothing untoward had happened. Joey, however, made note of each guilt-stricken expression, and filed this knowledge away for later. Something fishy was going on here, for certain. Just what had his baby sister gotten herself in the middle of?
With Duke out of the picture for the time being, Tristan soon became less reticent around his friend, joking and recounting tales from Christmases past, and even running through a few verses of 'Deck My Balls' together. Joey was surprised that he could still actually remember the lyrics:
Deck my balls with boughs of
holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tap the keg, inflate the
dolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don we now our rubber
panties,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
We're a bunch of twisted
Santies,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Naughty girls are such a
treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
These North Poles were
made for pleasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Fucked the elves, fucked
all the reindeer,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Fuck the
cookies, bring us COLD BEER!
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
The two boys collapsed in a heap with helpless laughter, leaning against each other while recovering their breath. In the midst of the hilarity, Tristan happened to glance up at the clock. "Shit, Joey! I've got to get home! I promised Serenity I'd take her to see 'It's a Wonderful Life' down at the Bijou tonight!"
Joey wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded. "I'll get my keys. Sis'll have your balls for sure if she misses it."
Tristan nodded emphatically. "You're not kidding either." An eager gleam lit his warm, hazel eyes. "In the interest of saving my boys, can we take the Porsche?"
"Which one?"
"Ummm... the black one?"
Joey sighed. "Which black one?"
Tristan just gawked at him. "God damn! You're one spoiled son-of-a-bitch, you know that?"
"Jealous much?"
"Not hardly," Tristan snorted. "I like a sweet sports car as much as the next red-blooded male, but I'm not prepared to sleep with Kaiba to get one."
Joey merely smiled innocently and twirled the keyring around his finger. "You don't know what you're missin'..." he sing-songed as he led the way to the garage.
Not long after, as they tore down the streets of Domino City in Seto's Carrera GT, Tristan hung on for dear life and debated the wisdom of spending quality time with his friend after all. Serenity may very well kill him for being late, but he'd rather take his chances with her than with an eighteen-wheeler at ninety miles an hour. "Does Seto know that you abuse his insanely expensive automobiles like this when he's gone?"
Joey laughed and turned to shoot his friend a wide grin. "Who the hell do you think taught me to drive a stick?"
Tristan made a mad grab for the dashboard. "Eyes back on the road, man!"
Still miles from Tristan's parents' house, traffic in downtown Domino came to a standstill, and the two friends were forced to slog through the hold-up with everyone else. After about ten minutes of this, Tristan began shaving items off of his 'to do' list with increasing apprehension. "OK. I don't need a shower, I had one just this morning. That'll save... fifteen minutes or so." He peered at his watch. "These clothes are fine; Serenity won't mind if I don't dress up, right?" He bobbed his leg up and down in agitation, squinting fiercely out the windshield as if he could compel the traffic to move forward through sheer force of will.
Joey put a hand on the brunet's knee to halt his restless fidgeting, and gave him a patient, serious look. "Tris, chill. There's a midnight showin' if you miss this one, and I can almost guarantee that Serenity will forgive you if you sweeten the deal with some flowers or something, so relax, alright?"
Tristan nodded absently, and began chewing on his fingernails. He glanced up at the darkened alleyway to his right, and his face lit up with recognition. "Hey, Joey -- isn't this the spot where you and I first met, all those years ago?"
"Y'know... I think you're right. Jesus, that was forever ago. Who knew we'd still be hangin' out together?"
"Oh, ye of little faith. I could tell you were different from all the other punks the moment I laid eyes on you. That's why I didn't kick the crap out of you like Hirutani ordered me to." Tristan smirked as he added, "Well, that, and the fact that you were huddled behind a dumpster crying like a little bitch when I finally tracked you down."
Joey gripped the steering wheel tight in his clenched fists and growled back, "You? Kick my ass?" He turned an incredulous gaze on his friend. "You might've tried it, if you hadn't been such a chicken-shit baby in the first place. You're forgettin' something here; I was second in command, and you were just the new kid on the block. I think the odds were slightly in my favour, whether I was upset at the time or not." He clucked his tongue and admonished, "You shouldn't kid yourself like that, buddy. Sendin' you after me wasn't an initiation rite; it was a suicide mission."
Tristan didn't rise to the bait. Instead, he regarded Joey with a speculative expression on his face. "Was that day the first time your dad had ever hit you?"
"First and only, Tris. Don't go there."
"Nah, it's cool. Just wondering."
Without warning, Joey shifted the Porsche into gear and jerked the wheel hard to the left. With a screech of tires, he backed the car up into the narrow alley and slammed on the brakes, cutting off the engine with a flick of his wrist. He turned to regard Tristan with fire in his amber eyes. "Cut the crap, Tris. We've reminisced more today than the last eight years combined. You wanna tell me what's eatin' at you? And while you're at it, you mind lettin' me in on what's goin' on between you and Duke?"
Tristan hung his head, and with this gesture, Joey's suspicions were at least partially confirmed. Dear God, just what had his baby sister gone and gotten herself involved in? He knew that this ongoing, flirtatious thing she'd had with both Tris and Duke over the last six years was mildly bizarre, but now it seemed as if it might have morphed into something rather more... troubling.
"It's... complicated."
"I ain't as dumb as I look."
"Shit man, I know that. It's just..." Tristan took a deep breath and met Joey's gaze evenly. "Serenity's been stringing me and Duke along for what, six years now? Every time that either one of us presses her for some kind of a commitment, she avoids the subject or just ignores it altogether. Duke's more of a free spirit, and it doesn't get his panties in a wad so much as it does me, but that's only half the problem." He scrubbed a hand through his dark hair, ducking his head to avoid the intensity of Joey's silent speculation. "Now, I'm not the jealous type anymore, and well... you know that Duke and I managed to work out our differences a long time ago. I just don't know how much longer I can keep going on like this. This... not knowing is making me a little crazy, and I guess it's all come to a head here around the holidays." He suddenly slumped down in his seat. "And to top it all off, Duke and I have started realizing that we may have feelings for each other, too." He cringed against the passenger side door in anticipation of the first blow. "You're going to hurt me now, aren't you?"
Joey was flabbergasted. Granted, he'd surmised that this might be the case, but he'd never really given credence to the idea of something so... twisted. It didn't exactly give him the warm fuzzies to imagine his sister in the middle of a domestic love triangle, but just like his father had had to come to grips with his only son's alternative lifestyle, he realized that Serenity's happiness was really the only thing that mattered here. In that spirit, he opened his mouth and managed to surprise himself by sounding relatively calm. "Look, I know that you of all people realize what Serenity and I went through with our parents. The divorce and all, I mean. It was rougher on Sis, 'cause she's a hell of a lot more sensitive than me, so it shouldn't come as a shock to you that she's ended up a little commitment phobic. My advice is to talk this over with her, and not pressure her into anything she's not ready for. If you're serious about your feelings for her, you'll give her more time, OK?"
Tristan nodded dumbly in assent. "Sure, man. I'm not ready to give up on her; not even close."
"Glad to hear it. Now this Duke thing..." Joey leaned back in his seat, rubbing his forehead. "You two are custom made for each other, in my opinion, and if Serenity is willin' to deal with both of you idiots at the same time, then I say more power to her." Tristan started to speak again, but Joey cut him off with a wave of his hand. "But, before you say anything to her about it, you and Dice-boy need to sort out exactly what you feel for each other, and decide whether or not you want to drag her into it as well. If you two break my little Sister's heart, I'll cut off both your dicks and airmail 'em to Pegasus, you hear me?"
Tristan reached across the console and roughly pulled Joey into a fierce hug. "You have no idea how happy you've made me, man. I feel like a giant load's been lifted off my shoulders, just getting it out into the open. Thanks, dude." He beamed happily. "Now, I can't wait to take Serenity out for a good time tonight, and let Duke know that you and I finally had a talk about this. Wow. Merry Christmas, and shit."
Joey waved him off. "Whatever. You've been warned, asshole." He started the engine and pulled back out into traffic, wondering how he ended up acting as his friends' and family's own personal love guru this holiday season. This was not something he was cut out for, and he had his own problems to deal with on top of everyone else's. He had to admit though, handing out advice to others gave him a warm glow, and helped him forget about the hole in his heart that was Seto's prolonged absence. A few more days of this, and he might even start charging.
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tbc
Author's note:
Items used in this chapter:
(2) A talking Christmas tree.
(3) Peppermint, or gingerbread, or eggnog, or pumpkin pie, or chestnuts, or Wassail punch, or (pick a winter or Christmas type flavor) massage oil either given as a gift or applied to a body part.
(4) Tristan and Joey singing mildly naughty versions of Christmas carols.
(5) A semi-formal holiday party hosted by either Seto or Duke. also in chapter 8
(6) One hundred and seventy three pounds of traditional English plum pudding delivered to the wrong address (as in delivered to one of the gang).
(7) Fur lined underwear.
Word Count:
4669 this chapter / 11464 total thus far