Title: Wish (5/9)

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Joey/Seto, scads of others, & even a few surprises

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if someone wants to give it to me as a Christmas gift, I certainly won't argue about it...

Summary: Seto won't be home for the holidays, but can Joey's friends and family manage to show him a holly jolly time, anyway? Sometimes, Christmas miracles happen in the most unexpected of ways...

Rant: Seems it's Monday again already, folks. My, how time does fly when you're ficcing like no one has ever ficced before in the history of ficdom. Yeah, that's right. I'm STILL working on that my round robin chapter. I wonder if I can fake my own death and get out of it...?

Well, only 7 reviews for chapter 4, and while I'm always happy that my stuff gets ANY reviews whatsoever, it's still rather disheartening to see the number slowly taper off like that. I guess I'm not doing such a good job at holding your interest, and I apologize for that.

Chapter 5 is an extra, super-duper long (deluxe edition!) installment, and I hope you'll take the time to tell me whether you liked it or not. I answer every signed review individually, and questions/comments/constructive crit is always welcome.

I'll see you again next Monday, (post Super Bowl) or at the 45 review mark, whichever comes first! And just so you know, I DO keep my eye on the daily stats for 'Wish', so when/if we actually reach 45, Chapter 6 will follow verra, verra soon (like, immediately!) afterward! (01/30/06)

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Chapter 5:

(4 days 'til Christmas)

A ringing phone woke Ryou from his slumber, and he scrabbled frantically at the stifling blanket that covered him. His head was pillowed on a firm, warm chest, and he was surrounded by opaque darkness, broken only here and there by flashing, colourful lights. The phone rang again, startling him and causing even further disorientation. Where was he again? And what was that awful, rasping sound? He fumbled one arm out from under the covers, and grabbed the handset off the end table. Without thinking, he murmured sleepily into the receiver, "Hullo?"

There was a significant pause, in which Ryou nearly succeeded in nodding off again, and then Seto Kaiba's bewildered voice cut through the haze of his sleep-addled brain. "Ryou?"

Oh, crap. Now he remembered... "Uh... yes?"

Seto's voice still sounded confused, but now there was a slight edge to it, as well. "Would you be so kind as to put Joey on the phone?"

"Um... alright." He nudged Joey with his foot, but the blond only made a strangled, wheezing gasp and flopped over onto his side. A moment later, the snoring resumed, louder than ever. Not knowing if he was helping or hurting matters, Ryou spoke hesitantly into the phone, "Kaiba? I need to put the phone down for a minute, OK? I'm having a bit of difficulty waking him."

"Fine."

That familiar, snappish tone didn't bode well at all. Ryou looked around the room briefly, squinting at the illuminated clock on the mantle -- it was already 6:30 in the morning. He really hoped that Kaiba hadn't gotten the wrong idea... "Joey!" He gave his friend's shoulder a rough shake. "Joey! Wake up! Kaiba's on the phone!" He thrust the handset in the other boy's face and repeated himself again, praying that the urgency in voice would penetrate that stubborn skull.

Groaning, Joey reflexively grabbed the proffered phone and stuck it to the side of his head. "Huzza-whaa?"

"Good morning, Mutt. Mind telling me what's going on between you and Ryou?"

Joey licked his lips and moved his jaw back and forth a few times, as if testing to see if it still worked properly. He hadn't yet bothered to open his eyes. "Seto? 'Zat you? Whaa time-zit?"

"It's six thirty your time. Now, what's Ryou doing in bed with you?"

He sat up and yawned widely, slitting his eyes open and peering over at Ryou, who was quietly edging himself off of the sofa. "Oh. We're not in bed; we just fell asleep together on the couch. Him and Bakura brought me cookies yesterday, just like you told 'em to, right?"

"I asked them to drop by and visit with you to cheer you up, but I most certainly did not tell either of them to spend the --" Seto had fallen right into Joey's trap, it seemed. "Shit."

Joey jumped off the couch and pumped his fist in the air triumphantly. "Hah! I knew it! You sneaky bastard!" He danced around the room as he spoke, giving Ryou a friendly little bump with his hip. "That's so sweet! I had no idea you had it in ya! What other Christmas spirits are gonna come visit me this week, Mr. Marley?"

The icicles in Seto's voice had thawed a bit, but he wasn't going to accept the abrupt subject change so easily. "Yes, well... I was worried about you, and I didn't want you to be alone for the holidays. I've merely asked Yugi to help me get the word out." He cleared his throat lightly. "But that's beside the point. I'm still waiting on your explanation as to why you were sleeping with Ryou."

"Excuse me? Just what are you implying?"

Ryou stood off to one side, his eyes becoming wider and wider as he listened in to the one-sided conversation. He clutched the blanket around himself tighter and shivered slightly. He'd really stepped in it this time.

"I'm not implying anything. I'm asking straight up whether or not you and Ryou had sex. Should I use smaller words, perhaps?"

Joey's face went alarmingly pale, then skipped red completely and shot straight to livid purple. "Why you --" he sputtered, his rage swallowing the words before they could even be uttered.

Seto's tone was smug, superior. "What? It's not like you haven't tomcatted around on me before, Joey. Is it really so surprising that I would assume that to be the case this time as well? Even if you are making a fool out of me behind my back, I want to know about it."

"Tomcatted? You know damn well I only went out with that guy so you'd get off your lazy ass and make our relationship an exclusive deal!" His voice dropped lower, and Ryou knew that Kaiba would do well to heed the menacing quality that lay just underneath. "We've been through this already, Seto! Do not pull this shit on me now."

"What exactly am I supposed to think, Joey? I try to get in a quick phone call before my meeting, just to see how you're doing, and Ryou answers the phone? It's obvious that neither of you were even awake! What would you think about something like that in my situation, hmm?"

"I wouldn't think anything of it, because I TRUST MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND, DAMMIT!" Ryou cringed and shuffled a little closer to the doorway. Maybe he should just make himself scarce...

Seto gave an exasperated sigh, and even from 3000 miles away, the sound made the hair on the back of Joey's neck rise up from sheer irritation. From past dealings with Seto, he knew very well when he was about to be dismissed. "Look Joey; I don't have time to get into this right now, or I'm going to be late for my meeting. Just answer the question, and we can both be on our way."

Joey whipped around and met Ryou's gaze with his own. Amber eyes blazed with white-hot anger, and the other boy found himself taking an involuntary step backwards. "You want an answer to your question, do ya? Well, I'll just give you one then..." The plastic of the handset creaked and bulged under the pressure of Joey's furious grip. "Hell yeah, me and Ry were gettin' it on! We must've fucked in every room of the mansion! We were like deranged bunnies all night long, I tell ya! He's got this massive dick; you wouldn't even believe it. Makes the lumber you're packin' look like a freakin' pea shooter! Oh, and that's not all! Bakura even joined in on the action! He's in the shower right now -- want me to take the phone in there so you can ask him about it, too?"

"God dammit, Joey..."

"On second thought, I'd better leave him alone for awhile. I gave it to him pretty hard last night, so he's probably still sore. I'll be sure to fill you in on all the details some other time. I'll say one thing though, 5000 years is a long time to practice sucking cock. You have got to hit that shit when you get back."

"If you're not going to take the matter seriously, then I see no need to continue this asinine conversation."

"Fine by me! Go fuck yourself, Kaiba."

"Oh grow up, Wheeler."

Joey slammed the handset back into its cradle with a brutal crash. "Fucking bastard!" He turned and kicked the side of the couch with all the force he could muster, forgetting that he wasn't wearing any shoes at the moment. "Gaaahhh!" Hopping around the back of the sofa on one foot, he grabbed the phone by the base and yanked it out of the wall, cord and all.

"Um, Joey? Maybe you should have a seat and try to calm down a bit." Ryou sidled closer to the fuming boy. "Come on, before you go and do something rash..." Joey hurled the phone into the fireplace, spitting curses that were periodically interspersed with Seto's name. "Like that."

"Y'know what? I don't need this shit. He can go fuck himself for all I care."

"Yes, I believe you've already invited him to do so."

Joey scrubbed his fingers through his hair. "I did?" He gave a nervous laugh. "Wow. It's just... I get so mad at him sometimes..."

Ryou put his arm around his friend. "I understand. At least, I think I do. I'm sure you both said some terrible things, and I just wanted to let you know that when Kaiba comes back, feel free to have him contact me. That is, if he wants to know what really happened." He lowered his lashes and smiled mischievously. "Although, your version of events was pretty exciting, too."

Joey groaned. "Crapcakes. I'm never gonna live this down, am I? Promise me you won't mention anything I said to B, OK?"

"Just be sure to stay on my good side, then." Ryou gave Joey a fierce hug, and then stepped back and began folding up the fleece blanket they had shared. "I need to get home, Joey. Are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good. I've gotta get ready for work so I don't really have time to worry about Seto's damage right now. I'll deal with the fallout later, I guess." He flopped back onto the leather couch and propped up his aching foot on a stack of throw pillows. "I dunno how I'm gonna get around at work with broken toes, though. God, I'm so stupid!"

Ryou bent down to examine the injury, manipulating the digits slowly back and forth as Joey winced. "They're not broken, or even fractured, in my opinion. Just soak your foot in warm water before you go to work and try to stay off of it as much as possible before and after."

"I should probably soak my head while I'm at it. So, I guess med school's really good for somethin', huh?"

Ryou smiled. "It had better be. I need something to show my father that justifies all those outrageous checks he's been writing for the past two years." Ryou placed the folded blanket back where it belonged, and reached for his coat. When Joey struggled to get up, he placed one palm on the blond's chest and shoved him back down. "You stay put. I can show myself out, and I'll just hail a cab once I get down the block." He whirled around and took several steps toward the doorway, only to walk smack dab into Mokuba, who was just coming around the corner from the opposite direction.

Instinctively, Mokuba reached out both hands to steady what his drowsy eyes perceived as nothing more than a fast-moving, white blur. As his vision cleared, and he realized exactly what, or rather who, he was clutching in his arms, he immediately stepped back in surprise. Ryou fell clumsily against his chest with a muffled 'oof!', while the taller boy merely goggled down at him. "Ryou? What are you doing here?"

He pushed himself back upright, adjusting his rumpled clothing and giving the shirtless teen a lingering once-over. "Good morning, Mokuba," he said haughtily. "To answer your question, not that it's any of your business mind you, but Joey was kind enough to let me stay the night. I was just on my way out. Merry Christmas." With an exaggeratedly casual stroll, Ryou made his way toward the exit.

"Right. Um, merry Christmas to you, too." Mokuba stood just inside the den, absently rubbing at his chest and staring after the white-haired boy's departure.

"Earth to Mokuba!"

"Huh?"

"I just asked you twice if there was somethin' you needed?" Joey prompted.

"Oh, yeah... yeah. Uh, Seto's been calling my cell phone for the last ten minutes, waking me up and ranting about 'that unreasonable son of a bitch'. I assumed he was referring to you, by default." Mokuba held the phone up in one hand. "He wants you to call him back."

Joey turned his nose up in the air. "I'll call him later. If he wants reasonable, then he'll just have to wait 'til this little vein in my forehead stops throbbin'." As an afterthought, he added, "Which ain't gonna be any time real soon."

Mokuba shrugged. "Figured as much. That's why I didn't just put him on hold." He stuck the phone in the pocket of his pajama pants and leveled his gaze at Joey. "Do you mind if I ask what Ryou was doing spending the night? Is there something going on that I should know about?"

"Oh, for Christ's sake! Not you too!" Joey flung a pillow at the younger, equally presumptuous Kaiba brother, and covered his face with his hands. "Go back to bed, Mokuba. It's nothin'."

"Whatever," he yawned, stretching his long limbs. "You don't have to tell me twice. By the way, you'd better get your ass moving if you don't want to be late for work."

Joey gave a weary sigh as he climbed to his feet. "Yes, dear." Limping slowly up the stairs, he realized that he was going to be hard pressed to focus on his job today, in spite of all the holiday mayhem. Seto's harsh words still rang in his ears, and he couldn't help but worry that their first Christmas together might just be their last.

XXXXX

Eight maddening, grueling hours later, the same issues still weighed heavily on Joey's mind as he made his way up the steps of the mansion's private entrance. All he wanted was a nice hot shower, followed by a stiff drink, and then maybe he'd think about calling Seto back.

As he dug around in his pocket for his key card, he was suddenly accosted by two heavily bundled figures. As they crept out of the snowy night and advanced slowly on his position, Joey likened them to a pair of roly-poly ninjas, and he ceased being the slightest bit intimidated the moment he spied familiar, spiky hair on the shorter of the two. The ghostly figures wrapped their arms around him and hoisted him off his feet with comical ease, dragging him backwards through the snow and toward a waiting vehicle. The couple giggled madly the entire way. "Yami, what the hell are you doin'?" With his disguise now thwarted, Yami simply laughed all the louder, refusing to answer.

"Don't be afraid, Joey," a deep, feminine voice replied. "We're kidnapping you for your own good."

"Kidnapping me? What --? Ishizu, is that you?"

Another giggle. "Yes."

"Aren't you supposed to be the sensible half of this dynamic duo?"

"Joey, I'm hurt," Yami said with mock sincerity. "Don't you trust us?"

"Look. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I'm tired and I don't wanna go anywhere or do anything right now, OK? Plus, I've still got a ton of stuff to do to get ready for my big dinner on Sunday, and I don't have time to fool around. I know that Seto put you up to this for Christmas, but I'm really not --"

Yami's voice turned sour. "This has nothing to do with Christmas."

"Oh, right. I forgot you were pullin' a Scrooge this year. My bad." Joey rolled his eyes and attempted to get his feet under him again, to no avail. "At least tell me where we're goin', will ya?"

Ishizu opened the car door and gave Joey a nudge inside. "First, we're going to see a movie, in the hopes that it will take your mind off of Seto's absence."

Yami climbed into the back seat with his friend, oblivious to the irritated glare that his girlfriend directed at him from behind his back. "And then we're going to get you drunk, so you'll forget all about him for good."

"After the day I've had, I'm actually OK with that plan. Can you see fit to feedin' me while you're at it?"

Yami shook his head sadly, his voice dripping with false sympathy. "We're on a budget, Joey. You can have popcorn and M & M's at the theatre, but that's it."

"That's fine, but don't expect me to put out later, you cheap bastard."

"Lighten up. Besides, it's better to get shit-faced on an empty stomach." And if anyone knew that for a fact, it was the former pharaoh. Back in a solitary, physical form for the first time in five millennia, he had continually shocked and amazed his group of friends by demonstrating his finely honed drinking skills. The phrase 'functional alcoholic' was often heard bandied about, mostly by Seto, whom Yami had once jokingly referred to as 'a two beer queer'.

As Yami and Joey continued to clown around in the back, Ishizu silently navigated the streets of Domino City, occasionally glancing in the rearview mirror with a troubled expression. Yami's recent behaviour had been disturbing, and his continued unwillingness to discuss what was bothering him only made matters worse. Tonight, he'd chosen to ignore their relationship problems entirely, and focus on his friend instead. She'd tried talking with him about it before they left to 'kidnap' Joey, but he had stubbornly insisted that everything was alright. She wanted to believe Yami, but she couldn't ignore the niggling suspicion that he was pushing her away for a reason. Sighing to herself, she parked the car and announced their arrival, interrupting what appeared to be a heated discussion of 'Hermos could so kick Timaeus' ass'. Maybe a night of debauchery would do them all some good.

Joey blinked and looked around him, only now realizing that the car had actually stopped moving. "Oh hey, are we there already? Wait a minute. Are we on campus?"

"Yep. You probably would have noticed that already, if your head wasn't so far up your ass."

Giving Yami a friendly punch in the arm, Joey opined, "Y'know, I think I liked you better when you were just droll, as opposed to bein' a raging smartass."

Ishizu smiled and kissed Yami on the cheek. "I blame Yugi."

Joey followed his two friends around the front of the building and stood in the ticket line behind them, squinting up at the theatre marquee with confusion writ all over his face. "Uh, guys... that's not English..."

Ishizu raised her delicate eyebrows at him in surprise. "Yami didn't tell you? We thought you might enjoy a foreign film for a change. It's supposed to be a big critical hit."

"You're wasting your breath, Ishizu. To Joey, a critical hit is when he wipes the floor with Kaiba at Mortal Kombat."

"Hey! I resent that! I'm perfectly capable of hangin' with the rest of you brainy types at the artsy fartsy theatre! I went and got myself a rich sugar daddy, so I'm all cultured and shit now!" A number of people in line ahead of them turned around, frowning imperiously at the blond's loud outburst. Joey smiled brightly and gave them the middle-fingered salute. After a moment, just to prove how refined he truly was, he let them have it with both barrels.

Ishizu blushed and made apologetic hand motions, whereas Yami merely guffawed and clapped Joey on the back. "Oh yeah, you're a right proper gentleman now; that's plain to see. Just relax and go with the flow, Joey."

"The last time someone said that to me, I ended up losin' my cherry..." Joey muttered under his breath.

"What was that, Joey?" Ishizu asked politely.

"Oh, uh... I just said that it couldn't hurt to give it a try, I guess."

"I'm sure you'll be pleased. Besides, it will be a nice change from those shoot 'em up action movies you boys watch all the time."

Joey scuffed his feet on the sidewalk and shoved his hands deep into the front pockets of his jeans. "But I like those shoot 'em up action movies..."

"What? I'm sorry; you'll just have to speak up if you want me to be able to hear you over this wind..."

Joey waved her off with a strained smile plastered to his face, and resigned himself to giving the 'critical hit' a chance. At least he was out of the house and sufficiently distracted from his troubles for the time being.

Once inside, Ishizu handed them their tickets and hurried away to procure seating. As she disappeared around the corner, the two boys immediately veered off in separate directions; Yami was drawn toward the video games like a moth to the flame, whereas Joey followed his nose and stomach over to the concession stand.

"I'd like an extra large tub of popcorn please, and roll me in butter, would ya?"

Yami snuck up behind him and rested his chin on Joey's shoulder. "That's going to go straight to your thighs, you know."

Joey elbowed his friend in the midriff and addressed the surly teenager behind the counter again. "I'll also take the biggest bag of peanut M & M's you got hidin' back there, and my friend here will have a large helpin' of shut the hell up." He turned around to regard Yami with a smirk. "Thought we'd lost you to the arcade for the next five or six hours."

Yami sighed forlornly. "No; all the video games here are at least as old as I am, and out of order to boot. Looks like we're both stuck watching this damn chick flick."

Joey laughed. "Weren't you the one tellin' me to go with the flow just a little while ago?"

"That was because I knew Ishizu was listening in. I have to choose my battles carefully, as I'm sure you've figured out in your own relationship by now."

Grimly, he nodded in agreement, momentarily brought back to reality by the mention of 'battles' and 'relationship' in the same sentence. He was not looking forward to returning Seto's call later. Maybe it was for the best that Yami had promised alcohol in great quantities after the movie. A little liquid courage couldn't hurt matters, right?

Taking their purchases with them, Yami and Joey crept into the darkened movie theatre and located Ishizu, sitting in the very back row. Joey was about to jokingly comment on how she'd managed to choose the best make-out spot in the house, but as he sat down in the seat to her right, Yami deftly maneuvered himself over to the opposite side of his friend. Ishizu was plainly irritated, and it seemed that Joey had no choice except to play the literal 'monkey in the middle'. Once again, Yami seemed oblivious to his callous actions, and the hurt that had flashed across Ishizu's face. What the hell was going on between these two? Since they'd gotten together just a few months ago, both Joey and Seto had grudgingly referred to the two Egyptians as the perfect couple, and whenever they'd had the opportunity to double date, the two boys had returned home throwing, "Why can't you be thoughtful like Yami?" or "You never treat me as nice as Ishizu does her boyfriend!" accusations at each other. What could possibly be the cause of such trouble in paradise?

Putting the matter on the back burner for the time being, Joey turned his attention to the screen, and his lap full of junk food. All of the M & M's and most of the popcorn were gone by the time the opening credits had wrapped up, and he was already fighting the urge to fidget. Fifteen minutes in, he was yawning, but still determined to keep his eyes on the rapidly scrolling subtitles. Jesus. Who knew there could be so much talking in one stupid film? Fifteen minutes after that, he was completely out of food and drink, and had stopped trying to puzzle out which crying chick was supposed to be Yvonne, and why on earth she was in love with the equally weepy Francois -- both of whom, in Joey's aesthetic opinion, could use a thorough wax job. Pepe le Pew was the most in-depth experience he'd ever had with French cinema, and from what he'd seen so far, he was fine with keeping it that way. Give him some good, old-fashioned explosions and alien invasions any day. After all, those were what God, in His infinite wisdom, had intended big screens and surround sound for in the first place. Which probably explained why he went to the movies with Yugi more than anyone else, he mused. Seto enjoyed going out to the movies as much as any other regulal twenty-something with virtually no social life to speak of, but he preferred intelligent, suspense thrillers and gritty courtroom dramas over car chases and gunfire. Go figure. They could usually compromise on the occasional murder mystery or mild horror film, but that was only after they'd argued over it for a couple of hours first. Ah, the beauty of foreplay.

Joey slumped down in his seat and sighed loudly, receiving several angry versions of, "SSSHHH!" from various patrons of the arts. He just couldn't help it. Here he was, out on the town with his friends and supposed to be trying to have a good time, but his mind kept returning to his fight with Seto again and again. He had accomplished virtually nothing tonight, except for inadvertently erecting a barrier between Ishizu and Yami, and making himself miserable with thoughts of his missing lover. Merry freaking Christmas.

Hurt and indignation aside, Seto had acted like an ass, but Joey knew that if this situation was to be remedied, then he'd have to be the one to take the first step toward reconciliation. Seto's stubborn pride refused to allow him to be the apologetic party in virtually any situation, and Joey had accepted that, sometimes even admired such a quality in his boyfriend. It's just the way he was wired, and Joey couldn't fault him for something so out of his control, any more than he could blame him for having been born with brown hair and blue eyes. Somehow, he'd have to find a way to get past the anger that was still boiling his blood whenever he thought back to Seto's outrageous accusations, and find a way to fix this. With that end in mind, he was so looking forward to getting smashed after this snoozefest was finally over with.

XXXXX

To Joey, it felt like ten hours had passed when they re-emerged from the stifling theatre, but Ishizu curtly informed him that it had been a mere two and a half hours from beginning to end -- the latter part of which he'd spent snoring constantly, and with impressive volume.

Yami put an arm around Ishizu's shoulders and gave her a warm squeeze. "Don't feel bad about it, Ishizu, " he soothed. "It was worth a shot, but I guess Joey's just not Pygmalion material."

Joey narrowed his eyes at them. "What'd you call me?"

Laughing, the couple linked elbows with their friend and led him several blocks through the snow, finally stopping in front of a nondescript brick building that looked like it had seen better days. Back around the time of the Civil War, perhaps. A sputtering, neon sign proclaimed their destination to be 'La Cave', and while Joey entered the establishment with trepidation, he was nonetheless eager to get out of the cold and begin the festivities. To his surprise, the inside was clean and modern, if somewhat dimly lit, and appeared to be evenly populated by a mix of stodgy professor types in bow ties and tweed, and those of college age, like themselves.

The bartender seemed to recognize both Yami and Ishizu, and he nodded to them, pointing to a round table in the back of the room. Joey hung up his coat and eagerly perused the menu, but was baffled by what he found there. "Yami? It's all in French!"

"No it's not. There's Italian and Portuguese on there too. La Cave is a wine bar, Joey. Ishizu stumbled onto this place when she was walking home from the museum one day, and it turns out that they have one of the best selections in Domino."

"Oh. I don't know nothin' about wine, though."

Ishizu smiled at him patiently. "You don't know anything about wine."

Joey furrowed his brow. "Yeah. S' what I just said."

Yami took the menu from him and flipped through the pages. "Here. I'll order for you, then."

"Heh. In that case, this'll be just like goin' out with Seto." Dammit. He'd gone and done it again. Any mention or thought of the brunet triggered a sharp ache in his chest, but now was not the time to agonize over such things. He had to get down to some serious drinking if he was going to try and hold his own with Yami. "Listen, whatever you choose, just make sure it's strong."

Four bottles of Shiraz later, Ishizu had a slight, pink tinge to her cheeks, Yami was smiling a hell of a lot more than usual, and Joey felt like he had wandered head first into some sort of spatial distortion. The front door of the bar seemed light years away from their corner table, and the walls had taken on a stretched, funhouse mirror aspect. The floor was rippled in the same manner, and the thought of potentially having to navigate his way to the restroom and back caused a short bout of panic. He felt as if he'd been sitting in the same spot for eons, and if he were to step outside right now, he might find that a lifetime had passed since he'd first entered. Whoa. Trippy.

Yami was leaning over toward him, saying something about how sorry he was that Seto couldn't make it back into town, but they were all trying their best to make Joey's holiday season special. The well-intentioned sentiment made him feel a bit like laughing and crying at the same time. Seto? Seto who? "I 'preciate it, you know," he slurred, leaning his forehead against Yami's own. "I know he put you guys up to it, but you didn't have to go all out like this or nothin'." He raised his wineglass in a drunken toast. "Merry Christmas anyway, man."

Ishizu joined him in his tipsy salute with a murmured, "Here, here," but Joey's keen eyes didn't miss Yami's hesitant frown as he put his own glass forward. 'Bah, humbug' was tattooed all over the former pharaoh's face, more prominent than any Sennen eye.

Joey opened his mouth to ask the obvious question, wondering why it had never occurred to him to bring it up before, but Ishizu chose that particular moment to stand up abruptly, sloshing wine over her hand in the process. "I think I see one of my colleagues over at the bar. Would you two excuse me for a moment, please?"

After she had flitted off to chat with some middle-aged chap in thick glasses, Joey turned back toward his friend, wracking his brain for what he'd just been about to say. 'I love you man!' seemed the most urgent expression he wanted to convey, but no matter how heartfelt it may have been, that phrase didn't quite manage to properly jog his memory. Oh, yeah. Now he remembered. "Hey Yams, why the fuck d'you hate Christmas so much? Never seemed to bother you before..."

Yami set his glass back down on the table with a sigh. Propping one elbow on the back of his chair, he leaned back and stared obstinately at the ceiling. "I don't hate Christmas per se, it's just that it reminds me of things that I don't like to think about too often."

"Like, what kind of things?"

"You're nosey when you're drunk, aren't you?"

"M' not drunk."

Yami laughed, and then hiccupped. "Sure. Now pull the other leg."

"Seriously, what's it remind you of? Stuff from your past?"

It was obvious that Yami was reticent to reveal what had been eating at him lately, but Joey was already well on the other side of blitzed, and all propriety had flown out the window by the second downed glass. Inebriated as he was, Joey managed to listen attentively as Yami spoke on the matter at last. "Just... festivals and things of the like. Holidays and ceremonies back in ancient Egypt. Thinking along those lines tends to bring reality crashing down on me a bit too harshly, I suppose."

Joey tipped sideways off his chair, catching himself just in time. "I don't understand."

Yami studied his finely manicured fingernails intently for a moment, and then clenched his fists together tightly. "I was a king back then, Joey. I was worshipped as a god. I had everything handed to me on a silver platter -- literally -- and everyone around me scurried to do my bidding with a mere snap of my fingers." He smirked. "Including your obstinate boyfriend." Yami suddenly leaned forward, his crimson eyes blazing into Joey's own. "If we were back in ancient Egypt, I could have you put to death instantly for daring to meet my eyes like you're doing right now."

Joey quickly averted his gaze and swallowed nervously. "So, what you're sayin' is that the holidays make you long for the days of yore?" He chuckled. "I think they're supposed to, actually. And man, did you have some serious yore..."

Shrugging nonchalantly, Yami drained his wineglass in one gulp. "That's just it. I don't miss it at all. In fact, I'm happier now than I've ever been in five millennia."

"Say whaa? Then what's got your panties in such a twist?"

"What have I got to show for it all now, Joey? Who am I today? Sure, I'm happy, but what do others see when they look at me, or think about me? I used to command armies of thousands, every last soldier ready to die for me if I gave the word, and now I man a cash register at a game shop. Yet I absolutely love what I do. I get to be around games all day long, I get to talk to people with the same interests, and spend time with my friends whenever I want. If I could help run the game shop every day for the rest of my life, I could die a happy man. It's enough for me, but what about --" He clamped his mouth shut, afraid that he had already said too much. As far as Joey was concerned, the heart-wrenching doubt on Yami's face as he stared across the bar at Ishizu had filled in all the remaining blanks.

"You're afraid that she's in love with the pharaoh, and not the man, am I right?" He snapped his fingers. "That's why you refuse to let anyone call you Atemu, isn't it?"

Sullenly, Yami flicked his wineglass with one elegant finger, tipping it over. "Bingo. What do you want? A cookie?"

Joey was ecstatic. "No, this is great! The same thing happened between Seto and me!" He paused, giving himself a solid slap to the forehead. "Fuck! I'm starting to feel like Dr. Phil here!"

"Quit babbling and start making some sense. What do you mean, 'the same thing'?"

Joey grabbed Yami's hand in both of his, yanking him close. "See, Seto worried constantly that whoever he got involved with was only interested in his money, or his power, or his really huge... err, company, and that no one would appreciate him for who he really is. It's the same sitch!"

Yami nodded, grudgingly admitting that he now had something else in common with Seto Kaiba. "I agree it's similar, but how did you get past it?"

"Easy! I told him that the only truth to be found was with the other person in the relationship. If there's trust and love there, then that's the only answer you'll ever need."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Yami pulled his hand back, laughing. "Don't take this the wrong way Joey, but that sounds pretty lame."

"Stop and think about it for just a minute, will ya? Work with me, here." Joey stood up on shaky legs and walked behind the other boy's chair. He took Yami's head in his hands and gently turned his face toward the bar. "Look over there at Ishizu, and answer my questions with the first thing that pops into your head, OK?"

Yami nodded hesitantly.

"Do you love her?"

"More than anything."

"Does she love you?"

Ashamed, Yami nodded again.

"No, that's a good thing. You can beat yourself up for bein' a shit to her after we're done here. Last question, and it's a two-parter: Do you trust her judgment, and do you think that Ishizu is the type of shallow person who would love you even if you pretended to be somethin' you're not? She's not Téa, so don't sell her short."

Yami put his face into his hands. "I'm such an idiot."

"Nah, you just had a revelation is all. Sometimes they're really good, like when you reach into a bag of Oreos thinkin' they're all gone, but then you find one more in there!" Joey smiled wistfully. "Damn, I love when that happens... Anyway, you didn't have such a good revelation this time, but that doesn't make it any less important, does it?" He patted Yami awkwardly on the shoulder. "You're a great friend, and a natural born leader, even when you're not wearin' a crown. People respect you, and follow you, and listen to you because of who you are now, not because of what you were back then."

"I should have made you one of my counselors in ancient Egypt, instead of just a concu -- uh, never mind. Exactly when did you become so wise?"

Joey shrugged. "Hell if I know. This is probably just the booze talkin'." He took another sip of wine. "So you'll forgive me when I say that you've been a real ass to her lately, and that's just from what I've seen tonight. If you love her and plan on keepin' her, then you've got some hardcore apologizing to do."

"You do it for me."

Laughing, Joey refilled his wineglass. "Good one."

Yami grabbed the front of Joey's t-shirt and pulled him in, meeting nose to nose. "I'm perfectly serious. Go over to the bar and feel her out some; find out how pissed she is at me. Please?"

"I'm pretty drunk right now, Yams. For a minute there, I thought you said to feel her up." He grinned widely as Yami just glared at him. "Are you sure that I'm the messenger boy you want doin' your dirty work?"

"I said please. I never say please."

"OK, fine! But we're not in middle school anymore y'know! Wait, were you ever in middle school?" Joey scratched idly at the top of his head. "Forget I asked that. Hey, while I'm at it, do you wanna write 'I love you - Do you love me? - Check YES or NO' on a napkin for me to take over there?"

Yami seemed intrigued by the concept. "Why? Do you think that would work?"

Joey walked away, rubbing at his forehead. "Royalty. Can't live with 'em, can't stage an assassination attempt." Clumsily, he made his way across the slowly spinning room and shouldered his way in against the bar. Ishizu jumped and turned around suddenly when he jostled her, and he gave her his sunniest, most disarming grin -- albeit a slightly drunken version. "Hiya Ishizu. Did your friend leave already?"

When Ishizu turned her regal, turquoise gaze on him, Joey had a hard time resisting the urge to reach up and futz with his hair, or attempt to straighten his wrinkled shirt. The smile she graced him with was warm, however, and he soon found himself becoming lost in serene pools of blue. No wonder Seto had a bit of a weird obsession with her. She was smart, hot, kinda snarky, and even though he'd been a total dick to her, she had still given him a kickass Duel Monsters card. Joey thought about all these qualities pooled together in one 36-24-36 package, and he idly wondered what the hell Seto was doing with him.

"My friend left some time ago, Joey. I was merely spending a few moments alone, thinking."

"Oh hey, I know what you're thinkin', and he is totally sorry about the way he's been actin' lately. He says it's all his fault, and he wants to make it up to you any way he can. You want diamonds, a new car, uber kinky sex? Just say the word."

Ishizu's smile grew broader. "Did he really say that?"

"Well, I'm kinda paraphrasing here." He looked up at her pleadingly, turning on as much of the ole Wheeler charm as he could muster in his half-inebriated state. "Look, he's finally sorted through a lot of shit, and I think he's ready to have a little heart to heart, if you're still willin' to listen to what he has to say."

"I'm not sure it's that simple anymore."

"Don't say that! This is one hundred percent a case of 'it's not you, it's me.' Fuck, I think I just confused myself. I mean it's him; it's all him, I swear."

"I'd like to believe that Joey, but a relationship is made up of two people."

Joey considered mentioning his younger sister's unique situation, but wisely decided that it would be simpler (and safer) to just keep his mouth shut and listen.

"I can't blame Yami for everything that's gone wrong, but at the same time, I can't think of anything I would have done differently. I'll understand if he doesn't want to continue this charade, and there was no need for you to try and salvage my feelings, Joey. It was very sweet of you, though." She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Joey's cheek.

"Huh? You mind explainin' to me what just happened here?" God, he didn't understand women at all! He figured that he might as well just go ahead and upgrade his own status from 'bi' to 'gay' and be done with it. If only they didn't have such interesting bodies... Joey reluctantly pulled himself away from his bemused inner monologue when he belatedly realized that Ishizu was speaking again. That was another thing about chicks; always going on and on about relationships and feelings and yadda, yadda...

"If he wants to end it, then he should simply come over here and tell me so himself. This doesn't need to be dragged out any longer, and he certainly shouldn't put you in the middle of it, either." Her voice had taken on a slightly angry tinge, and those cool, blue orbs had frosted over. "Maybe he doesn't have the courage to admit that he was never serious about us in the first place, but that's no excuse for him to shame me by pretending to want to fix things. And using his closest friend as his puppet is equally unforgivable!"

"Now hold on just a second! Yami? No courage? Are we talkin' about the same guy here?"

Ishizu looked like she might burst into tears at any moment, and Joey hesitantly put an arm around her shoulders. Her dress was sleeveless, and the skin under his fingertips was warm and soft. He swallowed thickly and darted a glance across the room at Yami, who was currently glaring daggers at him. Best to step carefully here. "I don't know what kind of crazy notion you've gotten into your head, but he's serious about you, and wants to make this work more than anything. He loves you, Ishizu. Why don't you believe me?"

The tears were just beginning to overflow, and Joey was at a loss. The last crying female he'd dealt with had been his sister, and she had only been twelve at the time. "Oh Joey! I don't know what to do!" She buried her face in his chest, and for the first time all week, Joey was actually glad that Seto was out of town on business. After the infamous phone call / Ryou incident, coming home with makeup all over his shirt would be a surefire way of getting his butt kicked to the curb with lightning speed.

He smoothed a hand down the back of her sleek, ebony hair and spoke in a soothing voice, "Just let it all out, I guess. Then you can tell me why you're so convinced that Yami's out to dump you, 'cause I can tell you for sure that he's not."

Ishizu pulled back, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin. "I want to believe you, but..."

"But nothin'! It's true! Why would he lie about somethin' like that?"

"Because he's still in love with Téa, that's why!" She burst into tears all over again, and proceeded to cling to him like a life raft. He took another quick peek at Yami, and wasn't too thrilled by the murderous rage he saw reflected on his friend's face. Playing Mr. Fix-it with your friends' and family's love lives was one hell of a thankless task, as he was just beginning to figure out.

"Oh Jesus H. Christ, is that what this is all about?" If Ishizu had been a guy -- a very pretty, very weepy guy -- Joey probably would have taken him by the shoulders and given him a good, rough shake. As it was, he was sorely tempted to do so anyway. But dammit, Yami was still looking over here... He decided to cut right to the chase and screw the whole 'sensitivity' thing. Ishizu and Yami both needed some sense slapped into their love-struck, melodramatic heads. And Joseph A. Wheeler was just the man to do it, too. "Look. I'm comin' down off a decent buzz here, and in about half an hour, I'm either gonna puke my guts out and pray for death, or go from zero to unconscious in three point five seconds. For everyone's sake, I hope it's the latter, but for now, I'm gonna give you the straight dope, and you're gonna listen; deal?"

Ishizu nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but Joey cut her off. "Limited lucidity here, so just lemme say my peace. Téa and Yami got together in the first place because that's what everyone and their grandmother expected them to do. Her and Yug' and Yami had been circling each other for so long, they really didn't know what else to do with themselves after Yams had his own body back. Once Yugi got with Rebecca, the two of them just sort of... wound up goin' out by default. But, it turned out that Téa wanted someone who didn't really exist anymore, and for a while at least, I guess Yami believed that he could still be that someone. Turns out they were both wrong, but even after all that drama, they still managed to split on good terms." Joey drew on every ounce of sincerity he could rally in his flagging state, and gently grasped Ishizu's chin, tilting her face up to meet his own. "He doesn't love Téa, he never loved Téa, and if you're thinkin' he fell for you too soon after the breakup, then that's only because he realized what he truly wanted. It's not because you're some sort of 'rebound girl', understand?"

"He told you all this?" she asked, with hope shining from her eyes once more.

Joey nodded. "Most of it. The rest was pretty easy to guess at. Right now, he feels like crap for tryin' to push you away, but he only did it because he didn't think he was good enough for you."

Ishizu shook her head vehemently at this notion.

"Yeah, I told him it was a crazy idea too, but even you have to admit he had a few good reasons to be worried. I mean, since your family was dedicated to preservin' the pharaoh's memories and worshippin' him as a god, it's no wonder he was nervous about the real thing livin' up to your ideal. Plus, you are kinda obsessed with relics from ancient Egypt..."

She laughed and kissed him on the cheek again soundly. "Thank you, Joey. I think I see the situation much more clearly now. You're truly a godsend, you know that?"

"All I know is that if you don't quit slobberin' all over me, your boyfriend's gonna come over here and beat the ever livin' crap outta me. Now let's go on back to our table and you two can make with the nicey-nice, OK?"

Seated in the corner once again, Joey listened with half an ear as the two lovebirds poured their hearts out to each other, attempting to rectify several months worth of misunderstandings and hurt. Forcefully reminded of his own unfortunate situation with Seto, Joey hit the cups even harder, putting away another bottle of wine almost completely on his own. Yami had just gotten to the part where he was explaining his misgivings about Christmas when Joey sat up and interrupted with a drunken, "Oh hey! That reminds me...!" He made a casual attempt to rest his chin on his hand as he spoke, but the gesture missed entirely and he wound up doing a graceless face-plant onto the table's surface. "Ow."

Yami helped him back into a sitting position and stated the obvious: "You've had enough."

"Yeah, yeah. I know when I'm done for. I'll catch me a cab here in a sec, but I had a question for you two first. Ever hear of a festival back in ancient Egypt call the 'Nakat al Net -- um... Netjeru'?"

Yami's scarlet eyes grew as wide as saucers, and Ishizu gasped, covering her mouth with one hand.

Joey was flabbergasted. "What! Don't tell me it's a real holiday!"

Yami threw his head back and laughed long and loud. Blushing, Joey briefly considered being indignant about the whole thing, but soon forgot what he was supposed to be upset about, and simply joined in. Yami eventually regained some of his composure, wiping at his streaming face with a napkin. "Joey, I'm not sure what you mean by 'holiday', but in ancient Egypt, the words you just uttered were once considered one of the foulest epithets in existence."

"No shit?"

Ishizu concurred. "Literally translated, it means, 'the gods can kiss my ass'."

Joey considered the source for a moment. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"That blasted tomb robber has been jerking your chain again, I take it?"

Joey nodded, smiling sheepishly. "Yeah, but at least it's not as bad as the time he tried to convince me that I was the pharaoh's royal sex slave or somethin' back in the day. I mean, come on! Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?"

Yami covered his smile by taking a long sip of his remaining wine. "Of course not. Absolutely preposterous. Remind me to have a little talk with Bakura the next time I see him, would you?"

"Are you kiddin'? I'm not gonna remember any of this by mornin'." He stood up unsteadily and began tugging his wallet from his back pocket, but Ishizu stopped him by touching his wrist.

"Don't even think about it, Joey. Tonight's on us, and it's the least we can do."

"The least you can do is to show up at my big Christmas disaster on Sunday, but I assume that you crazy kids are still headin' off on your cozy ski weekend?"

Yami looked over at Ishizu and smiled warmly. Never breaking eye contact, he reached down and kissed the back of her hand, nodding absently in Joey's general direction.

"Damn. If I'd been thinkin' straight, I woulda tried harder to break you two up just so I could have at least one guest..." Realizing that his friends were far too lost in each other to respond to his good-natured teasing, Joey tossed a few bills down on the table for a tip, and made his way toward the exit.

It was snowing again outside, but he encountered no significant difficulty in flagging down a taxi. Christmas shoppers and their various modes of transportation abounded even at this late hour, and every ruffled-looking young man that staggered out of a bar was still a potential fare, especially when the competition was this heavy. On the long ride home, Joey reflected on Yami and Ishizu's near disastrous bout of miscommunication, and doubly resolved to mend the situation with his own lover just as soon as he got back home. Pride be damned, some things were just more important than a wounded ego, and if Seto seemed even halfway willing to work on his trust issues, then Joey would be more than happy to forgive and forget. He only hoped that Seto would be equally as open-minded about the whole thing.

Now eager to make the all important call he'd been avoiding all day long, Joey flew threw the door and into the mansion, only to be greeted by the shrill ring of the telephone. Glancing at the clock, he realized that only one person he knew would be calling here after midnight, and he hoped that it was a good sign. Shedding his coat and snow-covered shoes along the way, he ran up the stairs and into the bedroom, diving for the cordless handset and landing gracefully on top of the huge bed. "Hello? Seto?"

"Joey! Oh my God, where have you been? I was worried out of my mind!"

"Two ghosts of Christmas way past showed up and took me out to get blitzened -- probably because you asked them to do it, Mr. Marley. Or should I call you Mr. Cratchitt now, since you'll be workin' through your holiday?" He snickered. "How's not-so-tiny Tim doin', by the way? Does he miss me?"

Seto took a moment to correctly decipher the first part of this statement as, 'I went out with Yami and Ishizu for drinks', and resolved to puzzle out the rest after he'd said his peace. "What's the point of me buying you the latest model cell phone if you're never going to take it out of the house with you?"

"Not the boss of me," Joey giggled. "But when you get back, you can drag out the toy box and we'll play 'master and servant' all you want..." He tried to rein in his errant mouth, but somehow, this conversation wasn't going quite as he'd originally intended.

"You're drunk."

"And horny."

Seto sighed, a smile evident in his voice. "You always get horny when you drink."

Joey rolled over on his back and smiled goofily up at the ceiling. "Is that why you make sure to keep the liquor cabinet well stocked?"

"Joey, before this conversation degenerates any further, I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I completely overreacted this morning, and you had every right to read me the riot act. I'm trying, I truly am, but you know what a possessive son of a bitch I am at heart. I'm afraid that even an over achiever like me can't change overnight. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Possessive? That's puttin' it kinda mild, dontcha think? Obsessive maybe, but I thought you only got that way over your cards and gadgets. Don't lump me in with the rest of your 'stuff' next time, alright?" He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment before adding, "And I'm sorry too. I lost my temper big time, and said a lot of stupid shit. I'll forgive you if you do the same for me."

"It's a done deal. I just wish I could say the same for things here. I didn't think it was humanly possible, but Sung is being even more of a bastard than before, and coming home is still a no go."

"Don't wanna talk about that," Joey whined petulantly. "Let's talk about more nasty stuff."

"Such as...?"

"How about what you're gonna do to me when you get home? Be creative now..."

"You do realize that Santa Claus is probably listening in, don't you?" Seto teased.

"Then that just means you'll need to work even harder to get on his naughty list."

"Perhaps we could just invite him to join us?" Seto purred, his voice dropping lower. "Picture it, Joey. We're both naked, waiting for him when he slides down the chimney with his giant sack. I'd make you suck him off while I fucked your lights out from behind. Do you think he'd like that?"

"Holy fuck, you are so depraved," Joey said breathlessly. "Even I'm impressed. That's totally hot, but I think something like that'll probably land you on Santa's 'nice' list instead. Hell, that oughta shoot you straight to the top of it."

"I aim to please. Unfortunately, now I have a raging hard on, and I'm supposed to be trying to get in a quick nap before the next pointless meeting starts."

Proudly, Joey announced, "Well, I plan on takin' a nice, long shower and gettin' reacquainted with my right hand. Maybe you should do the same. Either that, or you could turn on a little gay-per-view action and make like you're in your own private porno."

"Joey, have you ever seen Chinese pornography?"

"That bad?"

"Worse."

"Sorry, man. I feel for ya, I really do. 'Course, I'd rather be feelin' of ya..."

Seto groaned. "Stop...please."

"OK, OK. I can take a hint. Guess we need us a subject change, huh?" Joey laughed, and then grinned mischievously to himself. If he played his cards just right, maybe he could get Seto to go along with a little bit of fun. He slid one hand up under the hem of his t-shirt and idly began stroking at the sensitive skin of his abdomen. "So... what are you wearin'?"

"Mutt!"

"What? This'll be fun for both of us! Just go with the flow, Seto."

"The last time anyone said that to me, I ended up losing my virginity."

"What a coincidence. I always say that the best lines are worth repeatin'..."

Seto laughed again, and Joey found himself suddenly heartsick. Seto only ever laughed like that just for him, and hearing it so tinny and distant sounding over the phone line made him miss his lover's presence all the more. The Kaiba mansion was huge, and had a tendency to swallow up even the loudest of noises in its massive depths. Joey often likened himself to a trespasser in some forbidding, ancient temple, where boisterous behaviour was the strictest taboo, and even the most joyous of exclamations were frowned upon. Seto's laughter always seemed to echo in the cavernous emptiness and banish the lurking shadows, bringing irrefutable truth to the old adage that love could 'turn a house into a home'. Without Seto's light to warm the cold halls, Joey rattled around aimlessly, quiet as a mouse, and generally fearful of disturbing the peace. He'd once asked Mokuba if he, too, felt the haunting presence of the place, but had received only a bewildered look in response. For Mokuba, this was the only real home he'd ever known, and Seto's presence there only reconfirmed that fact for him. And, even though it was taking longer than he had expected to grow accustomed to the place, Joey was optimistic that one day he and Seto would be able to turn the foreboding mansion into a true home of their own, free of any hurtful memories or lingering ghosts.

These thoughts flashed through his mind in the space of a heartbeat, but hot tears seemed imminent nonetheless. He'd believed he was over this lingering disappointment by now, but all the strong emotions he was presently feeling, along with the roller coaster ride of ups and downs he'd experienced over the past twenty-four hours, had apparently decided to crash down upon him all at once.

Seto immediately noticed the change in Joey's demeanour, even though the blond hadn't spoken another word. He desperately wished that he could be there to soothe away the hurt he was certain that he had somehow caused, and for the first time in recent memory, he found himself at a loss for something to say. Deflecting the painful silence was the only option left to him, and he awkwardly changed the subject. "You know Joey, I've been calling the house all night long trying to get in touch with you. Now, I'm assuming the phone in my den got ripped out of the wall and stomped on, but why didn't Mokuba pick up?"

Joey shrugged and toyed with the retractable antenna on the handset. "I threw it into the fireplace, actually. As for Mokie, I have no freakin' idea where he's at right now. He's got my car, so he's probably still out and about with friends or somethin'." He was careful not to make mention of the elusive boyfriend, since Mokuba probably wanted to have that particular conversation in person. Then again, the kid knew his older brother's temper better than anyone else, so perhaps long, long distance was be exactly how Mokuba was planning on handling that particular conversation. And speaking of Seto's infamous temper...

"What! He's supposed to be grounded from driving! Wait, don't tell me -- he went right for the 'Seto didn't say I couldn't drive your car' loophole, didn't he? That little brat is going to be in for it when I get home..."

"Little? He's bigger than you are now, so you'd better try steppin' lightly from here on out. Plus, he's eighteen, Seto. You can't go on treating him like a child forever. School's all wrapped up for the holidays, and I happen to think that he deserves to go out and have some fun every once and awhile."

Seto shook his head, exasperated with his lover for being so damned naive. "He's taking advantage of you because I'm not there to crack down on him, and while I'm not completely against him cutting loose and having a good time, it's already past midnight, and Mokuba knows nothing about living life in moderation. Honestly Joey, are you going to be this much of a pushover when we have kids of our own?"

"Oh, like you're one to talk about moderation! You get off on puttin' your initials on everything in sight, and don't think that I haven't seen the way your eyes light up whenever we pass a tattoo parlour! I'll tell you here and now, you can just put that thought out of your mind right this very inst -- wait a minute. Did you just say... kids? As in, like, small people from our loins and in quantities of greater than one?" Joey sat up on the bed, abruptly more sober than he'd ever been in his entire life. "Hold your horses, Tex! We haven't discussed any of --"

"Shit. I'm already late for my meeting, Babe." Seto realized that he'd let a bit too much about his plans for the future slip out, and now he needed to extricate himself from the conversation before any more damage was done. Calling Joey by an affectionate nickname was a tried and true method of distracting the blond from whatever bone he was currently gnawing on. "Can we talk about this later?"

"Um, yeah... sure. But don't think this subject is closed, mister! I see right through your little 'Babe' trick, you sneaky bastard."

"And that's why I love you so much. Good night, Joey; I miss you."

"G'night, Seto. Love you, miss you, come home soon."

Replacing the phone in its cradle, Joey rolled back over and clutched a pillow to his chest giddily. Kids? With Seto? The prospect both frightened and exhilarated him beyond the capacity for rational thought. Having clear evidence that Seto was making long term plans for their future together helped ease some of the pain of his constant loneliness, but that didn't make him any less apprehensive about the potential hazards of raising the next generation of Kaibas or Wheelers. Unbidden, miniature versions of himself and Seto came to mind, all of them one, big, happy family sitting clustered around a Christmas tree and opening presents. He yawned widely, fixing the pleasant scene in his head as he drifted off to sleep. Just as he crossed over into the realm of peaceful slumber, he found the idyllic vision abruptly replaced with images of holiday visits to the state penitentiary where Joey Jr. was doing twenty-five to life.

On second thought, kids could wait.

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tbc

Author's note:

Items used in this chapter:

none

Word Count:

10353 this chapter / 27354 total thus far