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Disclaimer …. If Only

Lily woke the next morning to a loud banging , it seemed like it was ringing throughout the whole dormitory….including the bathrooms. Rolling out of bed without even a thought towards changing out of her shorts and tank top she headed towards the common room.

She manoeuvred around the chairs following the source of commotion where at the small flight of stairs she found James. Messy bed hair sticking up in an odd formation and what appeared to be the same pants from last night was all he seemed to be sporting.

Lily stared an odd look forming on her face…. There at the bottom of the stairs stood James Potter hunched over laughing uncontrollably. He was in hysterics! While the rather large yelling and thumping still seemed to be going on.

'Pott…' she barked but she didn't get to finish her sentence as he lunged at her and holding her from behind put is hand over her mouth.

'Shhh….' He whispered still trying to laugh quietly but failing. 'It's Sirius'

Lily now strained her ears suddenly tuning in to the conversation going on outside her dormitory.

'Now you listen here you great fat brut' screeched a lady ' I don't care who the HELL you are you don't have the password!' she was practically screaming now.

'And you listen to me you oversized lump of a lady!' replied Sirius screaming as well.

'If you just bloody let me in this door he'll tell you for himself'

'Let me the hell IN!' he continued now thumping his hands against the wall.

Lily was laughing now too as Sirius continued to screech at the portrait, the old man joining into the yelling occasionally.

Suddenly though Lily was pulled back into the reality as she felt James's body shaking slightly with laughter from behind her. His hand still over her mouth she felt the weight of his body pressing up against her, the feel of his chest against her exposed skin and is cool breath sweeping on her bare shoulders. His left hand now holding her middle the skin from his arm up against hers was making her tingle and she felt her body relax slightly in his grip. Her bare shoulders pressed against his upper body. She had never actually realised how strong James was as she felt his body shaking again slightly as he laughed. His strong hands holding her round the middle his skin rubbing against her flat stomach.

'Move a little bit to the left' he said quietly removing his hand from her mouth.

Lily went to object but he put his hand over her mouth again.

'Please Lily' he was laughing again now trying to plead with her at the same time.

'Just watch this'

Lily inched over as James climbed the couple of mini steps and sensing that Sirius was now banging again and bashing the walls with all his might. James swung open the door as Sirius went flying into the common room. Launching himself slightly in the air he landed flat faced with a thump on the ground, as James and Lily surrendered to another bout of hysterical laughing.

When they finally stopped Lily noticed that Black hadn't gotten up yet

'Oh get up Padfoot you old woose' said James wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.

Unfortunately the body of Black still wasn't moving, they were silent for a couple of seconds when Lily finally heard Sirius mutter.

'You're a fucking bastard you know that!' he said rolling over and propping himself up slightly on his elbows grinning after recovering from the fall.

'Why Evans!' Black exclaimed an expression of pure delight spreading over his face as he finally spotted Lily near the staircase.

'Aren't u a nice sight in the mornings!' he said inching his eyebrows up and giving Lily the once over.

Lily just gave him a glare, tilting her head to the side and pushing her hair back off her shoulders.

'You should be careful' he continued

'Prongs here tends to be a rather horny one and you probably don't know what that's doing to him!' Black said chuckling to himself. He considered this to be his personal revenge toward James embarrassing him in front of Lily.

But Sirius's comments really didn't seem to be bothering James.

'Ah don't worry bout him Lily' shot back James.

'Poor little Sirius is just sad because he ain't gettin' any!' he said laughing.

'Now do you really think this sort of thing…..eg discussing Padfoot's sex life is really going to help my breakfast sit well!' exclaimed Remus wandering through the door. Followed by a still very tired and frazzled looking Zoe and Daisy.

'Ew who'd want to have sex with Black!' exclaimed Zoe

' Well I tell you what … Lily's room looks free and you two can both try me out!' replied Sirius pushing his chest out and putting on what the majority of the girls liked to call his 'seductive grin'.

'Yeah… For sure' snorted Daisy.

'Anyway I have no idea what any of you are doing in here so early' said Lily waving her hand at the three of them.

'And especially what you're doing here so early' she continued pointing at Black.

'But I need to go get ready so if you'll all excuse me.' She said stepping over the body of Sirius who was still on the floor.

Lily heard the last words of Sirius

'Are you sure you don't want me to join you?' he yelled

As she closed the door to her room and turned to finally get ready!

Emerging half an hour later she noticed that Hannah, Chelsea and Peter had all joined the group and everyone seemed to be lounging around the couches. Also that Chelsea and Remus seemed to be sitting quite close together……

Pulling away from a arm wrestle with Sirius Daisy exclaimed…

'Ahhh finally the princess has arrived'

'And Sirius can finally get food'

'Don't talk in the 3rd person!' Snapped Daisy as everyone began shuffling out

' Ey, Ey Captain!' said Sirius standing to attention and mock saluting her as they left.

Everyone was chatting happily on their way down to breakfast when all of a sudden out of nowhere James yelled…

'Oh Shit they're coming!'

'What the hell?' asked Lily

But James didn't reply he just grabbed Lily's hand and gave her a pleading look out of the corner of his eye as they passed a large group of Huffelpuff and Ravenclaw girls clutching their books and whispering loudly. Although they seemed to stop dead in their tracks when they saw James clutching Lily's hand as even louder and more frantic whispers broke out, and Lily received an overwhelming number of evil glares in her direction. As they rounded the corner Lily snatched her hand away….she'd had enough of Potter touching her for one morning thank you very much!

'What the hell was that!' she exclaimed.

'Oh you don't know them?' butted in Chelsea as they settled down at the table.

'Why they're none other than the W.O.W.J.S.F. club' she continued.

Lily gave a puzzled look as Lupin continued.

'The 'We're Obsessed With James and Sirius Fan Club'

Just then Lily heard whispers erupting further down the table.

'Apparently she's carrying Sirius's love child except James doesn't care and says he'll raise it on his own but Sirius didn't want to and then……' but Lily tuned out it was amazing how quickly gossip got around this school!

'Bloody annoying!' Sirius mumbled mouth full of toast as he grabbed their Schedules from McGonagall while winking and smirking at her in the process.

'Oh Shit …." Sighed Zoe.

'Double Potions'

'Then Double Transfiguration'

'I like Potions!' argued Lily

'And I like Transfiguarion' exclaimed James

Only to be butted in by Chelsea

'Least you haven't got Double Divinitation!'

'Ha you're fault for taking it' Smiled Lily as her James, Sirius, Zoe, Lupin and Daisy headed off towards the Dungeons and Peter, Chelsea and Hannah steered towards the disgustingly hot tower.

Lily stormed into lunch and spotting Chelsea down near a bunch of 5th Years stormed up and slammed her books down on the table.

'What's up your arse?' questioned Zoe

'Bloody Potter and Black I can tell you that much!' she said grabbing the soup and starting to ladel it into her bowl quite messily

'First of all we were on our way down to the dungeons when him and Black saw Peeves and being who they are convinced him to go chase a group of 3rd years down the hall pelting dungbombs at them.'

'They thought it was fucking hilarious…poor things'

'Then when we finally got down to the dungeons …..not only were we late but there were only a couple of seats left so I got stuck next to Black and poor Daisy and Zoe got stuck next to Potter'.

'But that's not all'…. Most of the table had turned their attention to Lily now …ranting and raving with her fork and knife flying everywhere.

'We're in the middle of Potions when out of the corner of my eye I see all these little things passing by' she continued. 'Naturally I didn't think much of it but then I looked over and I saw all the leftover Hornet skin stuck to the back of SNAPE'S HEAD' she screamed

'Oh come on …pleaded Chelsea 'You have to admit Snape is a little bit of a slime ball'

'I agree' said Hannah dumping her bag practically on a first year.

'It's not the point! It was the fact that he was victimising Snape!' Lily said exasperated by now.

'I thought it was funny Lily' said Alice appearing from nowhere…

'And by the way…..the whole school can hear you including Potter' she laughed

Lily looked round as she suddenly realised that the entire school was looking at her. Even some of the teachers seemed slightly amused. Others like Madame Pomfrey just seemed to be sitting back pretending to not listen.

Lily now bright red at the thought that the entire school was listening to her conversation shrunk down in her seat a little.

'Calm down Lily it was funny….and you know it!' said Chelsea as chatter started up again around the great Hall. 'Besides we're going to be late to Transfiguration'

Lily reluctantly got up and began to dawdle out of the Hall slowly as she heard a little 2nd year from Slytherin perk up….

'Don't worry …she'll calm down….apparently she's just on edge with u know…..the baby'

Oh God Lily thought not that one again……

Lily collapsed in her chair at the front of the Transfiguration classroom and started out at the grounds. They were so beautiful…..but she was thrown back into reality when she heard a sharp laugh from the back of the class.

There sitting at the back of the room was Potter and Lupin laughing their heads off. It appeared that they had been slowly making Sirius's hair turn a violent shade of pink as he tried to chat up Helen Levoski from Ravenclaw in the corner. Fortunately she seemed so in awe in the fact that he was even talking to her that she hadn't noticed.

'POTTER!' Lily barked

'10 points of Gryffindor for bewitching other students' she continued.

He wheeled around when he heard her voice…a pure look of shock plastered all over his normally smug face.

'What!' He pratically screamed

'You can't take points off of me!' he said running his hands through his hair.

'10 Points off Gryffindor for being such a pompous ass' he replied his smirk having been reinstated at his last comment. Lupin's face suddenly appeared worried….he was used to this sort of thing and took it as pre warning to cut them off now before they got too fired up….

'Hey Guys…..' he tried but was cut off by Lily's reply

'10 Points off Gryffindor for yelling in the classroom'

'10 Points off Gryffindor for inappropriate point docking'

'10 Points off Gryffindor for attacking Snape' Lily said standing up her wand at the ready.

'10 Points off Gryffindor for not going out with me!' shouted back James jumping out of his seat too his books spraying all over the floor.

'That is quite enough Mr Potter, Miss Evans' said McGonagall strolling into the classroom. 'I think Gryffindor is going to have no points left if you keep going at it like that …I would expect more responsible behaviour from the Head Boy and Girl!'

Finally settling down McGonagall began to write down notes on the board…..today they were going to be transfiguring animals into various Muggle Objects.

But every time she turned her back to the board to address the class James would start muttering under his breath, the board would go blank and come up with various messages…. Then return to the work when McGonagall went back to writing…

'Go out with me Evans…….?'

'I know you want to!'

'Evans will you go to Hogesmade with me?'

'How bout it?'

'This Saturday I'll take you out to dinner?'

'Sirius is hot'

'Sirius is not hot …Come on Evans please….?'

'James is gay'

'Sirius dates men'……'Please Please Please Evans'

'James wears girl's clothes'

'Sirius looks like a girl'

'SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU'

'Evans I know you just can't resist my body…eventually you'll give in'

By this stage the class was in hysterics and many had fallen off their seats at this last comment. Lupin although trying not to laugh had buried his head in the text book as snorting could be heard coming from the direction of Daisy. With Lily just glaring straight ahead.

Finally McGonagall stopped when the laughing got to a hysterical point and glaring slightly said in a calm voice….

'Ahhh it's the start of the year I almost forgot!….. and pretending to think slightly she said 'and I suppose Mr Potter has found a new and even more interesting way of asking Miss Evans out?'

James covered his mouth in mock shock

'Minerva…..how could you accuse me of such things!' he said continuing his little charade. 'And to think I thought our bond was closer than that!' James then continued to pretend to faint at this news while Sirius caught him and playing along with the act pretended to fan him with a book.

'That will be quite enough Mr Potter' she said sternly. 'God this happens every year…….sometimes I wish you'd just go out with him' she continued staring at Lily.