With Christmas fast approaching, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Malfoy hadn't been exaggerating all those years about pureblood christmas decorations. The manor was filled with lush swags of greenery, carved ice sculptures, and trees glowing with white and gold baubles. The pianos had all been charmed to play Christmas music whenever anyone entered a room.

On the night of the Christmas ball, a Lestrange family tradition, I found myself inside the walk-in closet flipping through Pansy's seemingly endless collection of dresses. I was nervous about being at a ball with all of the Death Eaters at once, especially as over the years I had faced many of them in battle. I wasn't sure that my new pureblood status would do much to diminish their anger about that. I hoped I hadn't killed the relatives of anyone who would be there, but I was certain I'd inflicted some grievous injuries.

"Who's going to this thing?" I asked in a would-be casual voice.

Antonin replied from the adjacent closet, "All the Death Eaters and other members of the Sacred 28. And a smattering of other important officials in the government."

My blood ran cold and I froze with a horrible cherry red gown half way off, "Like Umbridge?" I squeaked.

"Why do you ask?" Antonin queried.

"I think she probably wants to kill me. I think a lot of people there might, to be honest."

To my surprise, Antonin laughed, "That's my lion," he chuckled, "Well you'll be safe with me, little one. Nobody would dare attack my wife at a public function."

Although he couldn't see, I raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"What did you do to Umbridge in particular?" he asked.

"Mmmm...I may have handed her over to a herd of angry centaurs in my fifth year."

I heard a low whistle, "How in the hell did you get away safely?"

"Pure dumb luck really. They decided to let us go because we were still kids. I didn't even mean to do it, I was trying to get Hagrid's half-brother Grawp to deal with her for us."

At this, Dolohov let out another booming laugh, "I take it back. You're not lion at all. You belong in Slytherin. I should have known years ago when you hit me with that memory charm."

"You know about that?" I squeaked.

"Of course. You didn't think the Dark Lord would just accept that we'd woken up dazed and confused in a muggle restaurant did you?"

"I didn't really think about it, to be honest. Did he hurt you to retrieve it?"

"A bit," Antonin replied casually, "but you didn't bury it too deep. I suspect you hadn't done many memory charms before."

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed sincerely, "I never intended to hurt you."

I could almost feel Antonin roll his eyes, "It's war, mishka. I would have killed you."

I couldn't think of any reply to that. Instead, I pulled on yet another dress. This one was green velvet with a matching heavy, fur-lined cloak. Despite the wintry fabric, it sat just off the shoulders and plunged daringly between my breasts and swept low across the back. I stretched out my arms in the long sleeves and twirled around. Perfect.

I left the closet and crossed to Antonin's desk, where Mopsy was waiting to spell my hair and makeup.

She gave me a firm shove into the chair and hopped up on the desk, towering over me in a way I suddenly found rather intimidating.

"We will fix Mistress's hair today, oh yes we will. Mopsy has a plan,"

By this time, I knew better to argue with the little house-elf and simply closed my eyes. I felt magic sparking in my hair and my gut twisted for a moment with how much I missed my wand. I'd been learning a little wand-less magic from Severus, but it was nowhere near as powerful.

Finally, Mopsy hopped off the desk and I opened my eyes to see her grinning triumphantly. She grabbed my hand and dragged me over to a mirror. I watched my expression change to shock, as I almost didn't recognize myself. My hair fell in loose, sleek curls and the makeup gave me a come-hither look that I'd never managed to master despite Ginny and Lavender's endless makeup tutorials.

"It's beautiful, Mopsy. Thank you," I said sincerely.

She shrugged critically and rolled her bulging eyes, "You is looking better. Better yet if you is letting me take those unsightly dots off your face."

"Don't you dare, Mopsy. I like her freckles," Antonin ordered sternly from behind me.

I turned around and he froze for a moment, looking like a deer in the headlights. Even the crack of Mopsy disapparating didn't rouse him.

"You don't like it?" I asked uncertainly. At that, Antonin seemed to regain the use of his legs.

"Too much," he replied, coming closer and putting a finger under my chin to tip my face up to his, "I've half a mind not to let you out in that,"

I decided to mess with him a bit. "I thought you said that all your Death Eaters were lovely, honorable lads."

He grunted noncommittally and I laughed.

"You're the one making me go to this horrible ball. At least I get to look nice," I groused.

"I suppose so," he rumbled, "But I will be keeping a close eye on you. Among some Purebloods it is almost a game to try to lure a man's wife away from him."

"And what makes you think I'm so easily lured?" I teased.

"Well you fell into my bed, didn't you?" He replied with a rare smile. With another twist in my stomach, I realized that our banter reminded me of the old days with Harry and Ron, before the world went to hell and I ended up married to a Death Eater.

Antonin sensed my mood drop, and he pulled me to him, "Don't worry, little one. It will all be fine,"

"I know. I'll be with you," I replied, and was surprised to find that it felt like the truth.

...

Once we reached the lawn, I couldn't help but gasp. Somehow they had erected three walls made of living trees, furnished inside with benches, tables and an obsidian dancefloor. The trees were intertwined with fairy lights, and the full moon shone down on the party. The fourth side of the structure stood open to the gardens. At the entrance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange were welcoming their guests. I steeled myself and pasted what my mother had always called a "social smile" onto my face.

"Dolohov!" Bellatrix cried delightedly, slurring her words in an appalling way as her breasts threatened to pop free from the bodice of her dress, "And the little girly Dolohov too. Not a mudblood any more, though! Maybe I should update your tattoo."

Antonin and I both stiffened, and everyone around the circle winced. Antonin's hand clenched tightly on my arm, but Bellatrix sailed on unawares. As she launched back into a story she'd evidently been telling about a family of muggles she murdered, I whispered to Antonin, "You're hurting my arm."

He loosened his grip, and made an effort to look politely interested in the story. I turned away slightly, unable to listen. Rodolphus took the opportunity to draw me to the side and ask me how my work with Snape was going. At first I was grateful to him for saving me from his awful wife's clutches, but it quickly became clear that he had other intentions.

"You must pardon my wife. I can't stand her really, but that's marriage. I suppose you of all people understand," Rodolphus leered at me with what he clearly thought to be a charming smirk.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," I replied frostily.

"Oh come now, don't tell me you actually enjoy being married to the Russian menace," he whispered conspiratorially.

I raised an eyebrow, too incensed for words.

"I mean," he continued, his eyes trailing down the neckline of my dress, "A beautiful little thing like you needs a man who can appreciate her. Someone who would be attentive to all of her... needs."

"Our marriage is not a subject open to discussion," I bit out at last, the muscles in my jaw working furiously.

Rodolphus didn't look put off in the slightest. On the contrary he smirked, his voice dropping lower still, "Well if it ever does become so, I can assure you that I am a consummately, devotedly attentive listener."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I was sure he'd had a fair bit of success with that routine. For all he was a piece of human slime mold, nobody could deny that he was an attractive one. Fortunately I was saved replying by Antonin's hand on my back.

"Drinks," he growled, and dragged me away from the horrible couple.

I opened my mouth to say something, but he fixed me with a glare and groaned, "I know. I know."

...

We passed the next few hours pleasantly enough. I was surprised to discover that Antonin was a good dancer, if a bit stiff and formal. He was able to make up for my clumsy footwork and was kind enough not to wince when I trod on his shoes. We talked with several of my less-hated Death Eaters and managed to avoid the ones I thought might hold grudges. Antonin had left me to a long chat with Daphne while Malfoy Jr. watched from across the floor, trying to look like he wasn't watching.

"You can't tell me you don't like him at all," I pressed her, slightly tipsy after a few glasses of wine, and gesturing none-too-stealthily at Draco, "I've seen how you look at him when you think nobody will notice."

She sighed, which turned into a giggly hiccough, "It's not that at all. I think he's positively delicious," she whispered.

"Then what's the hold-up?" I exclaimed dramatically, "Why aren't you having a lovely, ferret themed wedding?"

She elbowed me in the side, "You are awful!" she giggled. Her expression clouded over, "But seriously, I don't want to get married in the middle of all of this."

I nodded. I hadn't wanted to either.

She fixed me with a surprisingly sober look, "I know you understand. I don't know how you've been managing not to get pregnant, with contraceptive potions banned by the Dark Lord."

I tried to interrupt her, but she cut me off, "And I don't want to know, really. But I know you understand not wanting to bring children into the world at a time like this."

I hugged her, "Of course I do."

"We're venturing into dangerous territory," she sniffed, looking around worriedly, "Anyway, Mospy will kill us both in our sleep if we mess up her makeup by crying."

I gave a watery laugh, "Too true. She's a terror."

At that moment, Theodore Nott appeared and asked Daphne to dance. I waved her on, and she threw me an apologetic glance over her shoulder. I sat back in my chair and looked around. Malfoy Jr. was still skulking across the dance floor, looking at Daphne and Nott with a resigned expression on his face.

No doubt fueled by the alcohol, I made a split second decision and skirted around the dance floor over to him.

"Are you both just going to moon around like lovesick kneazles forever?" I demanded without preamble.

"Hello to you too, Granger," he grouched, then amended himself, "Sorry. Dolohov."

"I don't mind being called Granger," I offered, "It's still my family name."

"But it isn't really, is it?" he countered.

"Well, they were my parents. They're the only family I've ever known."

"You know, I don't get you, Granger. All these years you were so desperate to be accepted into the magical world, and now you have the chance and you reject it."

I was surprised at his accurate assessment. I'd never really imagined he reserved much head space for people besides himself.

"I guess I found out there are some prices I'm not willing to pay, even for what I thought I wanted most," I replied honestly.

"Tell me about it," Malfoy answered absently.

"You mean Daphne?" I asked.

Malfoy whipped around and fixed me with an angry look. I held my hands up apologetically,

"Don't worry. I won't run around telling anyone. I care about her, you know."

Malfoy deflated a bit, "I'm glad. She needs a friend. A lot of people shunned her when it became clear she wasn't taking the mark."

"Can't the Dark Lord make her?" I asked curiously.

"Of course he could. But he just sees her as breeding stock. Doesn't realize what a powerful witch she is because she wasn't dumb enough to go around showing off."

We were both silent for a moment.

"Malfoy-" I began suddenly, but to my surprise he cut me off.

"Draco," he corrected, not meeting my eyes.

"Okay, Draco then. If things were different, would you want to be with her?"

"Of course I would," he snapped, "But I'm not willing to become some breeding pair pumping out babies for the cause."

"I know. Neither is she."

"So why bring it up?" he snapped.

"What do you think will happen?" I pressed, "Do you honestly believe that the Dark Lord will just let her sit around unmarried forever?"

Draco didn't reply. He was gripping the railing next to him in a white-knuckled grip. At that moment, I noticed Bellatrix staggering over to us, clearly curious about our conversation. I grabbed Draco by the arm.

"Show me around the gardens," I practically ordered him.

We ducked out the door and hurried off into the dense maze of foliage. As soon as we were out of sight, Draco grabbed me by both arms and turned me around.

"Are you telling me he plans to marry her off to someone else?" he demanded.

"I don't know, but it makes sense doesn't it?" I replied.

Draco looked around and then cast a muffliato.

"Granger, can you get her out? Are you still in touch with the Order? I'll do anything."

I thought for a moment.

"Would you go with her?"

To my surprise, Draco sank down on a nearby bench and put his head in his hands. He replied in a low voice, "I can't leave my parents like that. Mother might come with me, but Father truly believes in this shit. He's in it 'til the end."

"And are you willing to go to the end with him?" I pressed, "Are you willing to die for a cause you don't believe in?"

I was a stab in the dark, but I knew it had hit home when Draco took a different tactic,

"I don't even know if she wants me. We've never talked about-"

"She wants you, you moron," I interrupted.

His head snapped up, and I won't lie, I really enjoyed the shocked look on his face. However, we didn't have much time before we'd be missed by those at the party, so I continued in a businesslike manner.

"You'll have to flip. All three of you, Narcissa included. Tell anything and everything you know. Probably be imprisoned without your wands for the duration of the war."

"Done," Draco replied barely a moment's hesitation.

"Okay. I'll see what I can do. Don't say anything to anyone yet."

I turned to go, but Draco called me back, "Granger, come with us."

I turned around sadly, "I can't."

He scoffed, "Oh please. You know Potter won't care you were married to a Death Eater. After the war is over I'll help you kill him and hide the body if that's what you want."

I smiled. He definitely wasn't the snotty little boy I'd known growing up. However, I had to make up something to throw him off the scent. Thinking quickly, I replied, "There's a locator charm in the wedding binding. Anywhere I go, Antonin immediately follows." I gave him a genuine smile and added, "Thank you though. I mean it."

When I slipped back into the ball, I immediately spotted Antonin storming around looking murderous. I grabbed a glass of wine from a passing elf, sat down on a bench and tried to look calm and collected. As soon as his eyes met mine, he stormed across the floor, not even noticing the dancers scattering before him. Oh fuck.

When he reached me, he didn't say a word. He grabbed my hand and dragged me into an alcove in the wall, waving his wand to make it grow closed behind us. He glared at me for a moment, his face like thunder.

"Explain," he growled.

"Explain what?" I tried feebly. This was clearly the wrong move because he took another step forward, trapping me between his body and the wall and forcing me to tilt my head up to look into his eyes.

"Malfoy. What you were doing with him?" he growled, his accent becoming more prominent in his anger.

"Not what you think," I retorted, refusing to be cowed.

"So you not sneaking off into garden with him?" he asked, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Oh no, I was doing that," I replied blithely. I knew it was dangerous to rile him up like this, but I couldn't help myself.

He fisted his hand in my hair and forced me to look into his eyes, "What. The. Fuck," he bit out softly, which I knew was a sure warning sign that things were about to go very poorly.

"Not like that, Antonin," I sighed, "We were talking about Daphne."

"Bullshit," he growled.

I put my hand on his cheek and looked into his icy blue eyes, "Look if you don't believe me," I ordered.

"Legilimens" he whispered. I opened my mind and let him see a part of our conversation.

Draco sat with his head in his hands, "I don't even know if she wants me. We've never talked about-"

"She wants you, you moron," I interrupted.

His head snapped up, and hope shone in his eyes.

Dolohov's hand loosened in my hair, and he looked slightly embarrassed.

"I thought-" be began, but I waved my hand to cut him off.

"I know, it's okay" I interrupted, suddenly not wanting to hear it.

I shifted against him uncomfortably and suddenly became aware of how close we were, and of the undeniable hardness digging into my belly. I was surprised to realize that I was incredibly aroused. I looked up at him, and pulled his head down to mine.

Suddenly we were kissing, and he was sliding his hands down my body, picking me up so I was forced to twine my legs around him.

His hands cupped my ass and I could feel the soft moss of the wall pressing into my back. With a low groan, he broke off the kiss and pulled my hair to tip my head back. He was kissing down my neck, biting and sucking. I moaned and rocked against him, desperate for more. He pulled down my dress, still with his other hand holding me against him, and massaged my breasts as he nibbled on my collarbone.

I raked my nails down his back, and whimpered, "Please, Antonin, please."

I could feel his hardness between my legs and writhed against him, cursing the thick velvet of my dress.

I hear him murmur "Divesto" against my ear, and suddenly I was naked against him. I shivered as my nipples brushed against the rough wool of his robe. I fisted my hands in his hair and rocked against him again, reveling in the feeling of his clothed erection against my wetness.

Suddenly he hitched me up higher, and speared two fingers into me. I cried out and pulled his hair sharply.

"Mine," he growled. I moaned and he pushed in a third finger, "Say it," he ordered.

"Yours!" I half-whined, half-moaned, "All yours."

I found that some messed up part of me wished desperately that it were true.

He pulled his fingers out abruptly. I whimpered, and then felt his fingers against my lips. I opened my mouth obediently and he slipped two fingers inside.

"Suck," he ordered, and I complied, feeling bizarrely turned on by the taste of myself on his fingers, loving the way his eyes darkened.

Suddenly, I felt a pressure at my entrance, and then he was inside me.

"Merlin, yes Antonin!" I cried, forgetting where we were.

He slid in and out of me, his strong arms cradling my body to keep me from being slammed too forcefully into the wall. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and wiggled a little higher, so he hit that spot inside of me. Stars blossomed behind my eyelids, and I knew I wouldn't last long. I dropped my head to his shoulder and bit down, trying to keep from screaming.

Antonin was slamming into me, and I abruptly realized what he was chanting each time: "Mine, mine, mine,"

The possessive words pushed me over the edge, and I came hard, pulsing around his cock. I felt him jerk and felt the warmth of his cum inside my body. As I came down from the high of my orgasm, my body went totally limp, and I clung to Antonin. It should have been uncomfortable, but I reveled in the feeling of being crushed against the wall by his body.

After a few long minutes, he sighed and set me carefully on my feet. With a wave of his wand, I was dressed again, as was he. He looked down at me and cupped my cheek in his hand. He offered me a soft smile, and then grimaced.

"I think I may have ruined your hair. Mopsy is going to kill me."