First comedy fic.. hope you like it...

warning: some of this stuff might sound extremely silly...lol

Dedication: to Meghan.. cuz you are AWESOME

Disclaimer: all belongs to Tammy

One late night in August King JonathanIII ruler over Tortall and the commander of the Dominion Jewel had an announcement to make to his wife Queen Thayet the Peerless.

"Thayet I think it's time for you, me, the kids, and Shinko to take a vacation." said Jon cracking his back. "I need to take some time off from all this ruling. It makes me, probably the toughest man of Tortall, weary."

Thayet smirked at the thought of Jon being the 'toughest man'.

"But honey ruling over Tortall is your job. You can't just leave your post for a week because you are getting weary of it." said Thayet. "The people of Tortall need you."

Jon grinned mischievously.

"That's why I have a champion." he said.

"What does this have to do with Alanna?" Thayet asked.

"You'll see dear," said Jon almost evilly. "You will see."

"You want me to do what?" Alanna shouted horrified.

"For the tenth time Alanna," Jon said trying to resist banging his head against the wall. "All I want you to do is rule Tortall for a week while Thayet, the kids, Shinko, and I go on a vacation to Port Legann." He sighed. "I just want you to keep everything in check while I'm away. So will you do it?"

"Rule Tortall for a week hmm," Alanna said holding her chin with her hand making her look scholarly. "Hmm, total power, a nice room, a big bed (she grinned at this), and I did hear that your cook makes excellent parfait's."

"So will you do it?" Jon asked hope glistening in his sapphire blue eyes.

"But then again..."

Jon groaned.

"Alanna…" he whined.

"Jon shut up and hear me out." Alanna snapped. "But on the flip side, evil conservatives, icky balls, and I may have to use my brain."

"Your brain?" Jon repeated. "Shesh I don't use my brain to rule Tortall. Alanna you know I keep it locked away. It's just too heavy for me to carry around."

"No Jon you didn't tell me about not using your brain." said Alanna and then she mumbled. "But it does explain a lot." She then perked up. "So where do you keep your brain?"

"In the most secretive and guarded place in all of Tortall," Jon bragged.

"Let me guess, you hid it under your mattress." said Alanna.

"Shit." Jon cursed and then ran all the way to his rooms on the 6th floor (they were on the 1st) to go rehide his brain.

After a few minutes and many laughs later Jon was back, panting like a dog.

"You'll never find it now." said Jon proudly. "I hid it extra well."

"Let me guess, um your underwear draw?" she guessed sounding as innocent as she could.

"Damn." Jon cursed again and then he ran back to his rooms to rehide his brain, again.

After a few more times of Alanna's correct guesses and the process of rehiding Jon's brain, they both grew tired and bored.

"So you'll do it?" Jon asked. "You'll be queen of Tortall for a week?"

Alanna hesitated, but finally agreed.

"I'll do it Jon." said Alanna. "But not because I had strong feelings for you when I was a mere squire, but because I really want to have one of those parfaits."

"So mote it be." Jon said.

"So mote it be," said Alanna downing a glass of champagne.

-Let the fun begin-

I hope you liked it.. please review.. comments, constructive criticism, support, all welcomed...

Caiti