Another day another chapter.. yay

This is titled: Alanna's Party

Responses to my lovely Reviewers (you should become one too)

redflame1020- I'm glad you like it... I can sense your laughter from miles away.. you know like a sixth sense or soemthing.. cuz I got mad skills... Review MORE.. muah

KunoichiGodess- yeah I'm glad you like it.. I noticed that too.. I think my spell check did that lol... hope to see more reviews from you in the future wink wink

Kaladelia Undomiel- haha I know I was in the Cicero mood.. oh well... thanks for the review!

001ElvenWarrior- I knowI feel bad for jon.. for once... oh don't worry Alanna won't be the one screwing around in this chapter.. his name starts with meat and end with a head

Confusedknight- aww thanks.. I'm glad you like it... a parfait is a layered icecream thingy.. like in shrek when donkey is describing onions and layers... lol

LandUnderWave- I love jon bashing... yay for jon bashing... I hope you review.. again.. muhcos thanks

On top of cloud 9- yah she will make a bad queen... good thing she didn't marry jon.. oh jeez I can't even think of what would have happened... just checking lol.. about the girl thing.. you can never be too careful... oh and anytime

music nerd- no george isnt king cuz he isnt kings champion.. only alanna... and i like the national holiday thing. . I might just use it... but later... not now.. thank you!

maliaphire- ahh you never know about Carthak... they're always full of surprises.. muchos gracias times a milliion

Guardian of the Small- thanks for the grammar suggestions... I am never good at that stuff.. muchos gracias.. I am pretty sure this flows... for the most part..lol.. thank you lots!

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Disclaimer: when I own something I'll let you know...

Alanna's going to have a party.. correction Alanna is going to stand there as neal throws a party for her.. so hold on to your hats because here we go...

Warning: extreme silliness does occur...

"Lass are ye ready for the ball?" a familiar voice called out pounding on the door.

"No I'm not going George, and nobody's going to make me. I look ridiculous." Alanna snapped.

"You can't look that bad Alanna." said George calmly still on the other side of the door. "Daine wouldn't make you look bad."

When Alanna gave no response, George opened the door.

There was Alanna sitting on her bed surrounded by vigilant little animals. She was dressed in a purple strapless gown, which had no sleeves. She looked as pretty as George had ever seen her in a dress.

"You look gorgeous Alanna." George said frankly.

"Are you kidding me George Cooper?" Alanna shouted. "I hate dresses. I absolutely despise them! And what did Daine have to put on me, a dress!"

"You don't look bad though, lass." said George sitting beside her. "And if you don't mind me asking, but what's with all the animals?"

"Daine left them here to make sure I didn't take off my dress. If I did they would attack me." said Alanna looking hatefully at a little squirrel that snickered at her. "Shut up you little rat,"

The squirrel in return stuck its tongue out at Alanna that made the king's champion even madder than she was five seconds ago.

"Stupid Daine and her little precious animals, if I had my way I would put them all on shish kabobs and roast them all on an open fire." Alanna said angrily.

This caused a wave of squeaks and chirps of fury from the animals that surrounded her.

George chuckled. "I wouldn't be saying that lass. It looks like they have the upper hand here."

"Well if I had I had my sword it would be all over in ten seconds." Alanna snapped.

"I would like to see that." George mumbled.

"What was that George Cooper?" Alanna shrieked.

"Alanna the court awaits you." Daine's voice called from the other side of the door. "Oh and yes please don't threaten the animals they do get a little testy."

Alanna got up mumbling something about shish kabobs and little rats and then joined Daine in the hallway with George following behind her.

"Well the herald is going to announce you and then the ball is going to begin." said Daine. "Oh and yes Sir Nealan asked me to give this to you."

Daine held out a piece of paper with Neal's obvious what Alanna called 'hieroglyphic' handwriting on it.

Alanna's eyebrows rose in surprise as she took the note and began to read it suspecting the worse.

My Dearest, Lovely, All Powerful, Sharp Tongued, Queen Lady Alanna,

It is to my joy and pleasure to announce that I your favorite and only exsquire Neal of Queenscove who I must state is not a 'meathead' I repeat not a 'meathead' is hosting your grand initiation ball. I know what you are thinking my lovely most precious queen that I, Neal (who is not a meathead) am going to make this the worst, most embarrassing moment of your life, but ah ha you are mistaken for I had help from my dear pal Sir Owen of Jeslaw the most jolliest man alive. The theme of this ball, yes you guess it –jolly times. Now don't be mad and curse because knowing you, yes I do know you, I have been unfortunately in your presence for four years as your lowly squire, I know that you are cursing up a storm and Daine must be threatening you right now to stop before the herald hears you. Don't worry my queen your party will be a blast. Just remember to be jolly and everything will be fine. I hope you know how to do the cha cha.

Love (not really),

Neal (who is not a meathead)

Of course everything in Neal's note did come true. Alanna did curse up a storm and Daine did have to threaten her to shut up before the herald heard.

"But Daine did you read this?" Alanna shouted. "My stupid exsquire is running this ball or party or whatever you want to call it! He's a total meathead! So it's bound to be a disaster. When I get my hands on him I'll rip his head off and roast it on a shish kabob just like that stupid squirrel!"

"Alanna, Neal isn't that stupid, he's got enough brains to know not to embarrass you in front of the court." Daine said soothingly trying to calm down the already red in the face lady knight.

"Oh yes he will," said Alanna. "I know he will."

Someone cleared their throat behind Alanna causing her to jump. The herald stood there tapping his foot impatiently.

"Would you like to be announced, today, my Queen Alanna?" he asked with irritation.

"Ah shut it you," Alanna snapped. "Don't you see that I'm about to be screwed over?"

"I am deeply sorry my lady, but I don't really care that much. This is only my weekend job." said the herald snottily.

"Oh you won't have a weekend job when I'm done with you herald." Alanna growled.

"Fine," the herald snapped. "Just tell me how to announce you."

"Lady Knight Alanna of Pirates Swoop and Olau also King's Champion and temporary ruler," Alanna ordered.

"Fine my lady," said the herald who went outside to the grand staircase and shouted, ", presenting Lady Knight Alanna of Pirates Swoop and Olau also King's Champion and temporary ruler and her husband Baron George Copper of Pirate's Swoop."

Alanna gripped George's elbow tightly as she came out from the back room expecting the worst.

The room was dark and suddenly a spot light focused in on her and George.

"Put your hands together for Queen Alanna!" Neal's obvious voice boomed scaring the wits out of Alanna.

An eruption of cheers and applause was heard, but Alanna could still see no one because of the dark.

"Are you ready to party?" Neal shouted.

Alanna groaned as people roared a 'yes' in appreciation.

"Than let's get it on,"

Funky loud music suddenly was heard and the whole room lighted up all at once blinding Alanna.

The whole hall was filled with people cheering her. Alanna saw her friends and war buddies yelling the loudest which made her smile.

The room was decorated in almost all red and purple colors that made Alanna want to puke. A gigantic banner of Alanna hung from the wall was catching everyone's eyes. It had her standing there nobly wielding a sword. The band was in the corner and they looked like they just hit puberty. To Alanna's surprise everyone had on bizarre looking sombreros.

This has to be the weirdest thing I have ever seen in all my days. Alanna thought as she bite her tongue to keep herself from laughing.

As soon as Alanna took her seat at the head of the table pages in bright purple suits came out with large platters ready to serve the guest.

"Neal," Alanna whispered bitterly under her breath. She felt deeply sorry for the pages.

"You rang my queen." Neal drawled taking a seat next to Alanna. "How do you like it?"

Alanna was about to snap when she thought of all the time and effort Neal must of put into this party.

Wow I'm thinking of actually showing compassion for Neal. Well that's an odd thought. Alanna reflected.

"Um well it's quite um nice." Alanna lied shining a fake smile.

"You really like it?" Neal asked emerald green wide with shock.

"Uh yeah of course, the color scheme is quite ingenious." said Alanna chuckling nervously.

"I know I like it so much I was thinking of having my wedding just like it." said Neal grinning. "I haven't brought it up to Yuki yet, though."

Oh Mithros that poor girl, Alanna thought sympathetically for Neal's betrothed. How will she ever stand with living with such an idiot?

"Well I need to go over to the band and smooth over a few details with them, my queen." said Neal grinning. "I hope you enjoy your dinner. It's my own recipe of macaroni and fluffenutter. It's been in my family for years. Toodles,"

"Oh Mithros help me," Alanna muttered under her breath.

"Uh, uh here you are Queen Alanna," A page said trembling holding out a dish of macaroni and fluffenutter.

"Oh joy," Alanna said taking the dish.

"You mean jolly Queen Alanna." said a familiar voice that belonged to Sir Owen of Jeslaw.

"No I meant joy." Alanna snapped. "You will not ever, even in my last days on this pitiful planet, catch me describing anything as 'jolly'."

Owen gasped in shock. "Please just say this party is jolly. Please, please, please?" he begged.

"Oh you are a pathetic knight Jeslaw." Alanna snapped. "I am never saying that this party is jolly. I'll just describe it as strange and weird words I would usually use to describe my exsquire."

Tears started trickling down his face. "How could you be so cruel?" he sobbed and then ran away to go complain to Neal.

"Jolly, what a gay word," Alanna mumbled.

Before she could get any breathing room Neal had reappeared.

"So do you like the macaroni and fluffenutter, Queen Alanna?" Neal asked.

"Queenscove I can't even get a second to think without you popping out like a damn rabbit." Alanna snapped.

"Well someone has a bad temper tonight!" Neal exclaimed. "Loosen up, it's your party."

"And I can be angry and pissy if I want too!" Alanna shot back.

"No that's not how the song goes," Neal said exasperated. "I think it's I can smile if I want to. No maybe it's dance. No maybe it's-"

"Just shut up meathead," Alanna snapped.

"Well sorry," said Neal.

Suddenly the band struck up a lively upbeat song.

"C'mon let's dance!" Neal said excited grabbing Alanna by the hand and pulling her to the dance floor.

"I will murder you Queenscove!" Alanna shouted. "Bloody murder you,"

Neal twirled Alanna around the floor with pure grace and skill. As the song got livelier Neal tossed Alanna up in the air that arose many shrieks from her. He caught her smoothly above his head and then doing a lively jig with her screaming bloody murder while he held her still above his head. The crowd started clapping as his tricks with her became more extreme.

Finally to Alanna's relief the song had stopped and Neal let her run to the bathroom to puke because she was a livid shade of green.

After her puking episode Alanna finally got to sit at her table in peace without having to eat her macaroni and fluffenutter or dance with her exsquire.

"Hello Alanna," this time it was Raoul with a huge grin plastered on his face.

"What do you want Raoul?" Alanna growled.

"Just wanted to congratulate you on your killer party." said Raoul clapping her on the back. Alanna's jaw dropped Raoul was actually having fun at a party. Where was this world coming to? All she could do was mumbled curses about her stupid exsquire.

"Uh thanks," Alanna supplied. "It was really Neal who thought of it all. He just has too much time on his hands and when that happens he can get pretty destructive."

This arose some chuckles from Raoul.

All the sudden Neal's voice rang clear in the room.

"Alanna get over here it's time to limbo!" he shouted waving her over.

"Oh no Queenscove you wouldn't catch me dead doing the limbo!" Alanna shot back.

"Raoul help me out and carry that party pooper over here!" Neal shouted.

"You wouldn't dare Raoul." Alanna said.

It was too late Raoul had picked her up despite her screams of protest and carried her over to the awaiting Neal.

"Welcome my lovely queen to our game of limbo," said Neal. "Here is your competition," He pointed to the small crowd standing there that consisted of: Kel, Dom, George, Daine, Numair, Yuki, Raoul, Buri, Wyldon, Owen, and Gary.

"Oh joy," Alanna mumbled.

"Why won't you say jolly?" Owen shouted in agony.

"Because um your mom," Alanna shot back.

"What about my mother?" Owen asked angrily.

"Both of you shut up," Neal cried. "I just want to do the limbo!"

"Fine," Owen and Alanna said in unison while continually giving each other death glares.

Secretly in both of their minds they were thinking that they would win the limbo competition to show each other up.

Neal blew a whistle.

"Let the games begin," he shouted gleefully.

The band struck up some limbo music as Daine went under the limbo stick perfectly to start off the first round.

Everyone survived the first round with ease until they lowered the bar slightly.

Daine went again perfectly and then it was Numair's turn.

The black robed mage was too tall and ended up hitting his head on the bar sending him on his back.

"Ouch," Alanna said as Daine rushed to help her husband up. He had a large bruise on his head and was muttering things Alanna couldn't understand.

The rest of the round went smoothly, but the round after that eliminated Raoul, Gary, Kel, Dom, and Wyldon since they were too tall.

The competition heated up with Owen, Alanna, Daine, George, Neal, Yuki and Buri still left.

Daine went first get under just barely. Owen went next determined not to lose and made it through, so did Alanna. Unfortunately George, Neal, Yuki, and Buri did not make it through to the next round which caused Neal to break into heavy sobs after Dom scorned him with chants of 'meathead'.

The next round Daine started up again.

She took a look at the pole sighed for a second and then shifted into a mouse and scurried under the pole, leaving her clothes behind.

"Hey no fair, no shape shifting!" Alanna and Owen shouted angrily in unison.

"I'm sorry Daine, Alanna and Owen are right." said Neal after recovering from his crying episode. "You're fired."

Everyone looked at Neal oddly.

"Sorry everyone I just always wanted to say that." said Neal apologetically. "What I mean to say Daine is that you are disqualified."

The mouse Daine let out a squeak of anger and started chattering with her hands are on her hips.

"Um Numair translate?" Alanna suggested.

"I'll take her back to her rooms I think she needs a time out." said Numair picking up the mouse Daine and put her in his palm.

"Okay Owen it's your turn." said Neal pointing to the limbo pole.

"The word jolly is the bestest." he shouted as he barely made it under the pole.

"Is not," Alanna challenged.

"Is too,"

"Is not,"

"Is too,"

"Is not,"

"Is too,"

"Is not,"

"Is too,"

"Is not,"

"Is too,"

"Is not,"

"Is too,"

"Is not,"

"Both of you just shut up!" Yuki shouted.

Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at the angry Yamani in shock. Neal was the most surprised of all his jaw literally hanging almost to the floor.

"Yu- Yuki, do you know you just were angry?" Neal asked stuttering.

"Yeah so what?" Yuki shot back her hands on her hips.

"I just never saw you without your Yamani mask on before." said Neal frankly. "It's weird seeing you without it."

"Oh no you didn't." Dom said.

"What do you mean by weird, meathead?" Kel and Yuki shouted in unison.

Dom patted his cousin on the back sympathetically.

"You're in for it now meathead." said Dom. "With any luck I might even think about coming to your funeral."

"Uh, dur," Neal began to babble mindlessly. "Please don't hurt me!" He fell onto his knees like a beggar.

"We'll let you off this time meathead." Kel said sharply. "But next time you'll have a little meeting with our shukusens first hand."

Neal gulped like any normal cowardly person does.

"I hate to interrupt this priceless moment, but I believe Queen Alanna must do the limbo." Owen announced. "So I can watch her fall in front of the whole court. Jolly shall prevail." Owen added crackling madly.

"Oh yes sorry," said Yuki.

"Maestro pump up the jams," Kel shouted.

The limbo music played once again and people began to chant Alanna's name.

Normally Alanna didn't get nervous, but now all eyes were on her. She took a deep breath and approached the limbo pole.

She leaned back slowly as a few people let out a few gasps. She was almost under.

Just a little more, Alanna thought.

But then in slow motion Alanna slipped on a tear puddle that Neal had left on the mat after his sobbing episode. It seemed like ages it took her to fall as her body gracefully curved landing on the mat.

"I won!" Owen shouted. "This is the jolliest day of my life. I beat Lady Alanna." He began to do a jolly dance.

Alanna stayed still, defeated, on the mat not moving. She was still shocked that she lost to such a dweeb like Owen of Jeslaw.

"It's okay lass you did well." George said giving her a hand.

Alanna took it and George lifted her up.

"I feel like such a fool." she mumbled.

"That's right Alanna I won, you lost oh yeah!" Owen shouted still doing his happy dance. "Go me and my jolliness,"

"Gah kill me now George." Alanna said.

"I will never let you live this down, Alanna." Neal shouted.

This made Alanna lose it.

"Oh and the rest of the court won't let you live this down either." Alanna snapped giving Neal a wedgie.

Everyone burst out laughing as Alanna pulled Neal's emerald green colored underwear up above his head and making it cover over his eyes.

"Why is this world so cruel?" Neal sobbed.

"Because you are a meathead," Dom supplied.

"And because you're a complete idiot for making fun of me, Alanna the Lioness." she snapped.

"And believe me that's not jolly." Owen said.

As soon as Neal got his underpants out of his eyes it was time for desert which consisted of another of Neal's family recipes Mouse Pie with a side of sour marshmallows.

"The Queenscove family must be a bunch of weirdoes." Alanna mumbled to George.

"Actually I like it." said George munching happily. "Reminds me of my Grandmother Cookie Cooper, ah what an amazing chef, she makes the best chipmunk stew."

Alanna started to turn green.

"Oh dear Mithros please stop." she moaned. "I think I am going to be sick."

"And those peanut butter covered jerky sticks, delicious." George said smacking his lips. "Reminds me of the good old days,"

Before he could reminisce anything more Alanna made a mad dash too the bathroom to puke some more.

The party ended an hour later when Neal ran around obviously intoxicated screaming.

"Look at me I have shoes for hands." He screamed.

It was true Neal had his shoes on his hands and was hugging random people. He too ended the night with a puking fit like Alanna.

The King's Own had to be called in and Neal was thrown into the stocks for the night.

So Alanna's initiation party was over. It was time to get down to some serious business.

Oh yeah I have skill... I hope you people liked it... oh and with the part when daine shape shifts or whatever.. I got that line that owen and alanna shout from the incredibles you know.. like hey no force field... you guys are probably like yeah.. right... crazy lady... muah... yay for updating.. and please review because you love me...

Ya'll ready for this?
Ya'll ready for this?
Whoomp there it is!
Hitman!
Pump up the Jam, Yo Pump it Up, Yo Pump it
This is Your Night
Be Aggressive, Be, Be Aggressive
HIT IT!
Ya'll ready for this?

next chapter: Idk.. but It will be good

In my words may the force be with you... especially meghan.. muah

your overly crazed authoress,

Caiti