Diary
See disclaimer in Entry #1
:Messenger:
Cierra's friend "Gateau", it turns out, is actually Rose.
I'm caught between laughing and crying out of the sheer oddness of the situation and what I learned afterwards. We'd been all over the Nelde Ruins, and Cierra was getting frantic when we'd even defeated the resident Accursed, Lindwurm, without finding the friend she'd been searching for in the first place. Then Serene found a hollow behind the big dragon's nest, and there was Rose--"Gateau", as Cierra called her.
Because of a potion Cierra gave her when the two of them met, Rose has lost all ability to speak, or be heard by anyone but me. To everyone else, it just sounds like she's meowing whenever she opens her mouth, so Cierra mistook her for an ordinary cat and decided to keep her. I would've laughed, but then I'd have gotten it from her, so I kept my mouth shut.
Rose was completely shocked just to see that I was alive. I almost didn't ask after that, but I had to know what had happened to Ledah… and to Hector, as well.
As I thought I'd learned when I regained my memory, some questions are better left unanswered.
When Ursula transported me to Elendia, Hector automatically assumed that I'd been killed, then ordered Rose and Ledah on to Riviera, even though she'd tried to plead for him to do something to help me. He'd refused, and gone off on his own after telling Ledah to seek out Ursula's mortal body.
According to Rose, at least, Ledah had seemed shaken by my disappearance. "Seemed", she claimed, because she says it was nearly impossible to tell from his expression. But he'd appeared to be living in some sort of haze, almost never speaking to her and seeming to have trouble stringing more than two or three words together when he did. She says that he practically stopped eating, and ran himself to the bone traveling on very little sleep.
He'd given up all hope of ever seeing me alive again.
Eventually, Rose had just left him on the road, chasing after me again. And then she'd run into Cierra, who ended up taking her straight to me.
I'm so relieved that I have Rose back again--I hate having to worry so much about my friends. But I'm also confused--why did Hector just disregard what might have happened to me like that…? I don't understand. The Magi are our leaders, are meant to care for us and guide us as well as their eternal duty of protecting Asgard. I thought he would've known I was alive… at least, to make sure that Rose and Ledah wouldn't falter on their road to actuate the Retribution…
And it hurts something inside of me when I hear about the way Ledah has been acting.
I wish… I wish I could just find some way to let him know that I'm alright… somehow… just hearing about his condition--his silence, his sudden and frightening disregard of his own needs--makes me terribly afraid for him. I know Ledah, and I know that he'll just end up practically killing himself if no one keeps him from shouldering too heavy a burden for him. He'll grow ill, neglect anything but temporary cares for his near-exhaustion and starvation, and eventually…
It hurts so much, Ledah…
It hurts to have been abandoned by Hector… to know you're suffering out there… and to wear this false façade of cheer when I'm around the girls. I don't want them to know how I feel--it would only bring them pain equal to my own.
When all the Accursed have been sealed… will I be able to find you…?
Will I be able to find you and make all this hurt right again, somehow?