Diary
See disclaimer in Entry #1
Author's Note: Just a brief one this time, regarding Ein's note about the Sacred Scale in the previous entry. That is completely true. Several screens into area 2 of Heaven's Gate (Skywalk)—at the T-section where you have the option to go left to find a Mana Wisp or to the right to find an empty chest and the next part of Heaven's Gate—if you switch into Look mode, you'll see a trigger to examine the sky; if you do so, Ledah will explain the background of the Sacred Scale to Ein, then remark to himself on how ironic it is that he should come to Riviera this way. This is right before the areas in whose descriptions you read that the Sacred Scale is also where fallen angels were judged. It's a very, very oblique reference to Ledah actually being a fallen angel—no, it doesn't make much sense to me, either, but none of the tracks on the Epilogue CD divulge as many secrets of Ledah's past as they do Malice's. Sadly for us. So it is possible…
:Fear:
We're in the sunken city of Tetyth, and the water is rising steadily.
None of us have any idea why—just that we're all in very grave, very real danger.
It's weird—I know that I should probably be panicking, but strangely, although my mind is racing, I find myself to be almost completely calm. The water's rise is still slow. If we can find something that we could use as a boat, or are able to enlist the help of the Undines who supposedly live here, we could probably manage to make it back out across the lake.
This means that we've only got one shot at taking out this Accursed—if we're forced to turn back, we'll never be able to save Riviera.
The girls are scared. Very plainly scared, though they're all showing it in different ways. Cierra has become quiet and dead serious. Serene is tense and irritable. Lina alternately whimpers and is even more boisterous than ever. Fia won't stop shaking—she's the only one who's visibly frightened, at least in the usually accepted sense—and Rose will not get off my shoulder.
It's just odd that I'm so calm at a time like this, though. Is this how it feels to be in control and to have a plan, Ledah? I think it might be. I'm no closer to having a panic attack and joining the girls in their terror of drowning than you were afraid of failure back in Heaven's Gate.
I think it's mostly due to Einherjar, though. Clutching its hilt in my hands, I can't help but feel powerful waves of reassurance passing over me. It's as though my Diviner is trying to tell me in plain words that everything is going to be alright, and I want to believe it, too.
The sky is so close here. Tetyth is built on a hill, and the city blocks are steadily rising. The old urge to just run to the edge of a rooftop, spread my wings, and leap into the blue would be overpowering, if I didn't know that that world is closed to me forever. It's making my scars itch.
"Stop thinking about the past and concentrate on your duty. You're not living that life anymore."
I can hear it in my mind as clearly as if Ledah was standing right next to me, and I know that's what he would say, too. It's completely right, even if it is a little blunt.
With the water of the lake lapping lazily at our heels, I know that I have to focus. I have to defeat the Accursed and get us out of here alive.
Not long ago, that knowledge would've been resting on my shoulders like steel weights, but… now, it feels almost like it's a burden that I'm well equal to.
It's heavy. But somehow…
I almost like this feeling…
And I want Fia and the others to be able to believe in me. I want to be worthy of their trust more than anything.
So, I'm going to do my best to listen to that voice inside me that I swear belongs to Ledah. I could really use his advice right now.
But the one I'm depending on most… is me.
While the waters of panic rage around us, I'm going to find Ledah inside myself, and then use the inner strength I learned from him to keep us all floating.
I have to. Because somehow…
When we meet again…
I won't be able to face him, otherwise.