Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.
An annoying noise woke Eve up. Her alarm clock must be on the fritz again. Unfortunately, when Eve opened her eyes she came face to face with a rather large cricket. Her screams echoed throughout the dormitory. Cries of "What is it?" "What is going on?" And "Where are we?" answered Eve's terrified screams.
"Oh, honestly! It is only Eric," came the exasperated reply from Mlle. Mirielle who had recently entered the dormitory. "Eric, come here sweetie," cooed Mlle. Mirielle, holding out her hand. The cricket, or Eric, jumped into her hand. "This is Eric, one of our not-so-mini mini grasshoppers and scorpions. You will learn more about them at the opening ceremony. Cecile, will you please help them?"
As soon as Mlle. Mirielle said that, a tutu clad ballerina jumped up onto a bed, a large smile on her face. "Hi! My name is Cecile Jammes and I am here to help you! First of all you need to hurry! The ceremony is starting in ten minutes in the auditorium and tardiness is frowned upon here." With that, the ballerina giggled and skipped out of the dormitory after Mlle. Mirielle and Eric.
Noting that everyone else in the room seemed to have the same expression of confusion on their faces, Eve asked, "Does anyone know what is going on?" Some shook their heads, but one girl answered.
"We are being forced to attend classes on the proper way to write a Phantom of the Opera fanfiction. I guess the characters are tired of the fanfiction so they are taking matters into their own hands. Well, at least that was what that letter said." She was about to say more when a disembodied voice thundered through the room
"Were you not instructed to go to the theater?"
Several girls cowered in their beds but others shrieked, "It's the Phantom of the Opera! It's Erik!"
The girls immediately tried to find where the voice was coming from. Some knocked on walls, others looked under beds, one tried to smash a vanity mirror, and one was attempting to pry up floorboards. Finally one of the older residents of the dormitories, she was a smallish woman in her mid thirties, suggested that they go to the theater. The girls left all together and followed the well marked signs to the theater. Eve looked in wonder at all the rooms and side hallways that branched off the one they were on. One room especially caught her attention; it had a sign on it that read: The Salon of Spelling.
The students slowly made their way into the great horseshoe auditorium that was halfway filled with other befuddled people. Nervous whispers broke out among the students until the gaslights on the stage lit up. Anxiously, the students leaned forward, wondering who next would show up from their fandom. Two women, both dressed in simple 19th Century clothing, walked to center stage. One of the women was easily recognized as Mlle. Mirielle, but the other woman was an unknown entity to those present. She resembled Mlle. Mirielle except she was shorter and had an older air about her.
"Hello," said the shorter of the two women. "I am Mlle. Alaina, the course coordinator of this establishment. Welcome to the Official PhanPhiction Academy of 'The Phantom of the Opera.' As you know this is Mlle. Mirielle, trainer of our beloved not–so-mini grasshoppers and scorpions, and chief of security. She will tell you several basic rules that you must follow if you are to escape unmaimed from this Academy."
Mlle. Mirielle stepped forward and said, "Here are some rules at the Academy. 1) Thou shalt not try to kill characters. 2) Thou shalt not try to bed characters. 3) The fifth cellar and Box Five are strictly off limits. 4) The Staff section is also not a safe place to be." Mlle. Mirielle stepped back after reciting the rules and looked over at Mlle. Alaina.
"We also have a few mottos and one bible. This," Mlle. Alaina said, holding up The Essential Phantom of The Opera, "is your bible. You will read it, including footnotes, and carry it everywhere with you. The mottos are as such: Leroux is God and Kay is not canon. On a side note, OPA does not endorse ships of any kind. We figured that would make life easier since the ship 'discussions' can get pretty intense. As our good Head of Security no doubt told you, you are here to learn about Phantom of the Opera FanFiction. Once the speeches are concluded you will be called one by one before a review consul to point out weaknesses. Then you will enroll in courses, taught by our staff, which is required to fix your stories. As you no doubt have already realized, given your signature on the enrollment sheets you have basically signed your life over to us. OPA is not responsible for any maiming, psychological torture, and/or deaths. With that said, Mlle. Mirielle will you please bring in our staff?"
With a nod, Mlle. Mirielle left the stage to return shortly with a long line of people behind her.
"OHMIGAD! It's RAOUL!" came a cry from the back of the auditorium. Followed shortly by another observation, "THERE are TWO of them!"
More cries resounded throughout the theaters, especially the shouts of dismay when no masked entity came on the stage. Where is Erik? Eve thought. He is the main character isn't he? Eve was quickly jerked out of her thoughts as several students charged the stage in the direction of the two Raouls. Before they could get to their prize, a large scorpion leapt in front of them, brandishing its pincers and stinger.
"Get in your seats now," Mlle. Alaina's cold voice commanded the students, whom immediately slinked back to their seats.
Leroux!Raoul crouched down and petted the scorpion "Thank you, Roul."
"This is a not-so-mini scorpion," Mlle. Alaina said, pointing at Roul. "Every time one of misspell a character's name a scorpion or grasshopper is born. Their purpose is to guard the faculty from you sea of raging hormones. Now, back to the subject at hand. As many of you have so cleverly noted there are duplicates of many of the characters. This is due to the popularity of both the Leroux and Webber universe, which are both held as canon. These characters will teach you the proper way to write about them."
Mlle. Mirielle continued after Mlle. Alaina, "There will be several guest speakers who will visit us through out the semester such as Erik Destler who will teach you imbeciles how to write a proper murder scene without the Punjab Lasso. Also, Susan Kay Erik will come and speak on several occasions, depending on how his heart fares. Oh, and on the subject of the Eriks. You will hardly see them as they are very private characters. They may even choose not to show up for classes. Oh, and Mlle. Alaina has already given the Eriks leave to Punjab or torture any student who attempts to sing for them or cross the lake. Any questions?"
Uproar shot up in the auditorium. A smile crossed Mlle. Alaina's face, "Good, no questions. Please, return to your dormitories until one of the staff fetches you for your review."
Eve was nervous. She was sitting in the waiting room outside the manager's office which served as the review room. She had to wait an hour before Leroux! Christine came to fetch her. (Who knew Christine was blonde?) Christine was a bit chilly to Eve but nothing too cruel. Three students have already gone in the room, none have come out. The creaking door brought her out of her thoughts.
"They are ready for you," Christine said, walking into the room. The room was dimly lit and there was a Queen Anne's coach sitting in the middle of the room. A long desk was sitting at the far wall with three people sitting at it. A Middle Eastern man, a severe looking woman, and an Erik!
"Thank you, my dear. Could you please get Stefanie from the stagehand dormitory?" Erik's mellifluous voice floated through the room. With a nod and smile, Christine left the room. The severe looking woman leaned forward over the table and spoke, "My name is Madame Giry, the Webber one, let us begin."
AN: Please review and remember, no signing up for OPA through reviews.