And finally!

Enjoy!

M.

Chapter I

December 29th, 1999

Magnus POV

It is yet another gray day in what I could call a 'gray week.' Usually, I can handle gray days, and I can manage standard gray weeks. I can't deal with such a thing occurring today. Therefore, I am hiding. Doors closed, do not disturb sign in place. Alas, here I am, 'the great Helen Magnus, MD' hiding behind my desk while hoping no one will come looking.

I shall confess the truth: I can't handle another crisis or confrontation.

Not today.

To be perfectly honest, I must admit the weather outside is the perfect reflection of my mental state, and if someone were to ask me to define it in one word, that would be troubled.

Sighing, I prepare myself to do what I do best when I am in such a mood, and sadly, that is overthinking. Whether I like it or not, I find myself unable to stop my mind from analyzing every bit of my life, stopping at every 'what if' available. There's plenty of them. Then, I walk around everything I have done wrong.

I know, having 157 years of age, it should be an extremely long list, and it is. It was. At this point, I overthink everything, but I only really care for the top five.

First and the biggest mistake of all, not only making that damned sanguine vampiris serum but inject it to me. It gave me what should be the greatest gift and the worst curse. If I hadn't played God with such a thing, I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't know what I know, and I wouldn't have suffered through all I already have endured. Then again, it's far too late to do anything about it, but accept I did what I did. I learned to take my curse as it comes, and enjoy the moments when it can be called a gift.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sigh.

Secondly, I have a tie — my love for John and my arrogance. The first one gave me a beautiful daughter and lots of head, heart, and soul aches, which came with motherhood. The second one leads me to ask Watson and Tesla for help to create an egg, which some years and nine months later became a beautiful baby, which also resulted in a ton of head, heart, and soul aches, which can only come from a stolen child.

My two girls, how could I call it anything but a tie?

Third, it is not having a normal life. Don't get me wrong I love my life. However, sometimes I wonder how an ordinary life could be. Then again, I know I would get bored utterly quickly. I must accept I would not feel comfortable with a normal life. I am made for my life, with its ups and downs, all sadness and joy. 'Aww, good for me!' I think sarcastically.

For some reason, this brings to mind the time when James found me mourning like this and asked me for explanations. He laughed at point three and told me in that way only James could ever manage: "You'll see; my dearest Helen, you are a Linchpin." I never knew what he wanted to say with that. Hopefully, I'll never know. He added that once he was no longer around, someone would come to explain it to me, and I can't fathom my life without James Watson.

Truth to be told, I can't imagine my life without any of them. "We are the five for a reason," I say to myself, taking a sip of my wine.

'We were the five, Helen.' My mind decides to inform me as if I could ever forget about it. Even if I'm sure I can't blame myself for his death, I know I do to some extent. I know I shouldn't have let him disappear on us, no pun intended. But I was drowned in my pain and lost all track of him. When I came around, it was too late. Nigel was gone already. I swirl my glass of wine before toasting to the air 'To Nigel' and take another sip.

That is Ladies and Gentlemen, the top five of Magnus Biggest Regrets.

As if someone cares.

Life has this strange way of twisting one's plans and make them end up in an entirely different way from those we initially created. I remember mine: being a Doctor - 'the first female doctor.' I wanted to be known, respected; I wanted to be someone. I know I fulfilled those points: I am a Doctor, I am known, I am respected, and I am someone. Of course, when I desired those things for myself, I didn't plan for it to come with hiding and well-knitted net of secrecy and the not so little the fact that, legally, I don't exist anywhere.

I've come to accept the way my life is. That's the only reason behind why I manage to bring myself to this state of despair once a year. It doesn't matter how much I love my "job" and its benefits. The free time I have to be with my daughter, the satisfaction of keeping all the creatures safe, and the quiet peace at the end of a long day are perks no everyone can have. However, I don't like when the peacefulness occurs on days like today.

And what's so special about today? You'll ask.

You'll see, today is my youngest daughter's birthday, and it is at the same time, the day she was stolen from me.

Ashley's POV

"You want me to do what!?" Will looks at me in disbelief.

"Dude! I just want you to find out what's wrong with my mom. This thing is not normal!" I say, pointing to the closed door of my mother's study, and specifically to the hotel like 'do not disturb' sign which hangs from her door handle.

"If you want me dead, why don't you just kill me, Ashley?" He whines. He is kind of cute when he does it, maybe that's what my mom sees in him?

"She's not going to kill you!" I say, rolling my eyes. "She.. she even likes you! You know things others don't. That has to mean something..."

"Why are you so sure she does not have a headache? Why this bother you so much?"

"Because!" I know I am giving him puppy's eyes. But it bothers me that she is locked out in her bureau, not even wanting Will's help. I relent, "It's not normal to have a headache every year on the same day!"

"You're keeping track of her headaches? You are weird!" Will chuckles.

"Hey! I'm NOT weird; I am half abnormal; thank you very much! And yes, I AM keeping track of her headaches. It's not a complicated thing to do." I huff, "When was the last time she asked not to be disturbed?" He looks at me squinting; he knows I have a point there.

"When she got that conference call?" He tries

"Yes, conference... But then again, when she was beaten to death, stabbed, bruised, shot, and even when you killed her, she did not lock herself in her office!" He opens his mouth to speak, I raise my hand to stop him, "but now she has *A* headache, and she is on lockdown?" I am screaming I know, "And you don't find it strange at all? Remind me why we have you here? Argh, never mind..." I said, waving him off, it's like I always say 'if you want something, do it yourself.'

With a deep breath, I turn around and open the door.

Magnus POV

"Mom?"

Ashley comes in looking for me, a worried expression marring her features. Bloody hell! I was starting to believe I would make it unscathed for another year. Or at least, equally hurt compared with the year before.

"Mom, what is it?" Her tone matches her expression. Both covered in concern.

"Nothing, darling, I just have a massive headache." I lie

"Bullshit! People don't have a 'massive headache' every year on the same date. Come on, mom! You had had 'headaches' every December 29th for as long as I remember," I look at her.

I bit my lower lip, and I asses the situation. On the one side, Ashley has the right to know and learn it from me. Although I'm sure she's capable of figuring out by herself if she sets her mind to it, Ashley is, after all, my daughter, and she has her father's and my intelligence to inherit.

"You know you can trust me, mom. I am your daughter. Your only daughter," she whispers, coming right next to me.

That hits a nerve, and I can't seem to shield the pain in my eyes quickly enough from her - not today. As her eyes go wide, we exchange pleading looks. Mine says, 'please, don't ask.' But hers show a reassuring 'tell me.'

"Talk to me, mom. Trust me."

That pleading look takes a toll on my heart. That pleading look is so identical to her father's. It is the same pleading look John gave me that night, all those years ago, when Ashley was conceived, and I fell for it. I close my eyes to get my mind back on track because we are not talking about John now. We are not talking about Ashley. We are going to talk about Samantha.

"It was a late night, and I was in my lab studying one recently deceased abnormal. I don't remember much of that autopsy since I was thinking how much Sarah, one of the many Sanctuary team members at that time, wanted to have a baby, but for some reason, she couldn't." I caress her face softly and noticing that I'm barely scratching the surface she seats herself on the floor in front of me. "This idea crossed my mind, I knew back then I was playing God once again, and that once again, I would end up facing the consequences of it. We started the project on July 18th, 1950."

March 15th, 1950

London.

She was playing God again. She knew, and there was no foreseeable reason to stop herself. Her current train of thought alone was exhilarating! She knew that to have any chance of success, she couldn't do it alone. Luckily, she knew two of the greatest minds and knew she could convince both to help her.

First, she sent a telegram to Watson; she knew if she wanted him to accept the crazy proposal, he had to be the first to know. He reached the Sanctuary only to tell her she was out of her mind, yet, he felt the idea was for the greater good, and he agreed to help her.

With Watson on her side, Helen explained her theories to him and let him conclude that they needed more help. The moment she smiled, he knew who she was thinking of and that the whole conclusion was part of her idea, to begin with; so, he waited while she called Tesla. He recognized that if they wanted to make it possible, they would need that crazy bastard.

Of course, having a call from Helen always got Tesla waltzing into the Sanctuary and leaving behind whatever he was doing at the time. Watson knew the reason behind his actions: Tesla was in love with Helen, but then again, so was he. For that sole motive, they would always do anything to help her.

Once assembled, the trio spent the better part of a two years working side by side, shoulder to shoulder. It was such a critical crusade that Magnus left her other scientific duties in the hands of her loyal employees. At the end of the second year, they had made it.

By the middle of 1953, along with an enormous amount of knowledge in the genetics field, the hundreds of patents for the things they had found and learned, they had managed to make a stable egg. Or at least they hoped they did. But technology, even as advanced as they could make it at that time, couldn't assure them the viability of the egg. Thus, after all their hard work, Helen proceeded to freeze the egg and stored it right next to her and John's embryo.

Present

"At that moment, everything seemed right with both of you. However, there were no means of implantation, and I wasn't in a place where I wanted to have a family. It might sound silly, but I wasn't ready to add more responsibility to my already extensive tasks. Yes, I was old enough to be a grandmother, yet I wasn't prepared to become a mother."

"I get it, mom," she smiles. "Okay, so by, let's say 1960, you got two eggs frozen. Now, you have me, and what happened to the other one?" I sigh; here comes nothing.

"It was on a cold February day of 1968 when I finally reached the new Sanctuary at Old City; Nigel had already passed away; Nikola was in hiding, John was missing, and James, he decided to remain in the UK. And I've never felt so utterly alone. "

February 27th, 1968

Helen was amazed by how well the old city sanctuary imitated her father's draws, adding cutting edge technology and a sense of home to her new house. She was living there for almost a month now, but she still couldn't believe she had done it.

She walked to her new lab, the scientists working for the Sanctuary network where geniuses in every area she could imagine and pay. Most of them wouldn't know they were working with the abnormals of the world. Most of them just were given parts of things, and they would develop syrups, vaccines, and advanced technology for the benefit of humanity.

The only catch, all of the findings ended up under Dr. Magnus's patents. Some of the scientists worked closely with the network; some of them were even abnormals themselves. The latter were the ones who got to know Helen Magnus. Both were, in a way or another, saved by her.

Both groups would do anything in their power to do or find whatever Magnus wanted. Even if they tested and tried to make their ideas come to life, hers were the ones that always came to fruition. She would often ask about the chances of using an abnormality to treat a disease. Or about the possibility of mimicking one to reach new levels of scientific improvement. And samples were passed, things developed, and humanity collected the benefit of the unknown source.

Keeping in mind the excellent predisposition she had from her employees, she was not surprised when she saw her new lab. She started to play with it, and after a couple of days, she asked for a tech. A 'normal-human' tech arrived two days later, happy to finally get to meet "one of the many Dr. Magnus" that she had to be. She smiled politely and didn't disclose to the tech that she was the ONLY Dr. Magnus, who had existed in the 87 years that had come to pass since her father went missing.

For almost a month, Magnus and the tech worked on something no one knew. After that, Helen gave him a broad smile and a great bonus, and then she sent him back to his place. She knew, from the time working close, that he was not ready for the whole Sanctuary experience. A week later, the first inhabitants of Old City started to arrive.

Present

"David and I worked on the way to introduce fertilized eggs back into a woman's uterus. That's why I have patents for in vitro fertilization, and one of our many 'enterprises' was the first one to make an in vitro baby. But that's a whole different history…" she trailed. "I barely left him at the door before I ran to my lab; the frozen egg and embryo had arrived days earlier, and I decided. Nine months later, I gave birth to a beautiful girl."

"Wait, I wasn't born until 1976, so it wasn't me. What happened?" Ashley frowned. "How did you choose? Why you didn't pick me?" I smile; she is smart; she is curious. Well, she is, after all, my daughter.

"Your question is straightforward to answer, or it was simple to take at that moment." I trail, "you probably would choose the same if you were in my place. The thing is, I had to choose between trying to implant an egg made more like a science project or the embryo I conceived with the men I loved the most."

"You went with the science project," she affirms.

"Yes. Then she started to develop into a healthy baby, and she stopped being the science project and became my child. My younger child was the first to be born," my eyes are filled with tears once again.

"So I had a younger sister who was older than me? That's so awesome!" I smile, Ashley always gets the bright side first. I left out the breath I was holding, and with it I said

"You probably still have a younger sister older than you," her expressive eyes show some gleam of hope, curiosity even.

"So, where is she? When do I get to meet her?" She says, biting her lower lip. And with that, the last resistance I have breaks, I gasp, and my tears follow. I know I usually don't cry. However, all barriers disappeared, and I can't stop myself now. In an attempt to comfort me, Ashley stands and hugs me and caresses my hair. I know she is utterly uncomfortable, she doesn't like to be the one invading personal space for comfort, but she doesn't withhold. Then, after a while, I finally get calm enough to talk.

"I don't know," I left out honestly. "At that time, security around the Sanctuary wasn't as good as now, and there was no means for me to be prepared when your father appeared. Nor I expected the rage that he felt," I still can feel his cold black eyes looking straight into mine and his cold lips stealing a kiss I didn't want to share, but I don't tell her that, she and John have come some way and are, finally, at bickering-only levels now.

1968

For the first time in 90 years, she had put a tree in the Sanctuary hall, and she felt in the mood for a Christmas celebration. Helen considered she looked like a human version of a whale, even when all the humans and abnormals living at the Sanctuary told her that she glowed. She accepted the compliments, not quite ready to believe in them. The thing which mattered to her was that looking like a whale, she was happy. For the first time in a very long time, Helen Magnus was delighted with her life.

Four days later, her water broke.

Anxiety took over as she was meeting her child for the first time. She cursed in all the languages she knew almost broke James's hand in the process, and Helen had blushed when admitted, if only to herself, that she had bitten her old friend hand when he tried to calm her down. Then, after almost twelve hours of labor, she smiled tiredly, feeling more love than she had ever experienced.

The baby cried, and everything else was forgotten.

The baby took after her, or at least that was what they could see. She was blond and had the bluest eyes, and Helen finally understood what people said about love at first sight. Then, the nurses took the baby to clean her up while Helen finished delivering.

"My dear Helen," James smiled once the Doctor allowed him to enter the room. "How shall we call your little miracle?" He looked at her; he always knew one day she would be an excellent mother, and that day had finally arrived. He was surprised to see his Helen so much in love again.

"She is beautiful, isn't she?" She smiled the big bright smile of hers that could've illuminated any room. "I've had several options before, but I can't think of a better name for her than Samantha." She told him, and he smiled softly.

"Hi Sammie," he cooed. "Welcome to this crazy world of ours; you should know you are quite a miracle. Your mom and all your strange uncles and aunties will love you too much, and we will spoil you rotten," James whispered, making Helen puff.

Biggie grunted as he neared the baby; then, he told Magnus that Sammie was indeed beautiful and that he hoped Tesla's help in her creation didn't end up doing anything wrong with Sammie. They all laughed. But a DNA check was made, to be sure. Then, Helen was sent to her room, and so was the baby.

After the events of that day, Helen was at that weird point where you are not awake but not quite asleep when she felt her body getting covered by goosebumps, and a chill sensation invaded her. She felt odd, and her instincts were right. Next to Samantha's crib was John.

His eyes were glowing in that weird way they had shimmered the night she gave him that scar on his face. And after almost eighty years since that night, she still could recognize that side of him that was horrifying and the one change she couldn't fix. Her face went blank, and she did the only thing she could do.

She screamed.

He smiled a sickening smile.

Then, he took Sammie in his arms and teleported next to Helen.

"Oh, Helen, you could have let me know," he said, caressing her cheek. "She is after all my baby too. Aren't you cute little…"

"Samantha is not your daughter!" Helen hissed

"Don't be silly, Helen! I know you well enough to be certain that you would've never trust another man to share yourself with, in the way you shared yourself with me. Alas, this little bundle of joy can only be mine. Did you hear that, Samantha? Your mommy is trying to lie to your daddy. But your father loves you already, and will find you a life worth living."

The door opened at that moment; Watson and several members of the staff entered the room. It was too late, looking straight into her eyes. John laughed in a way that Helen Magnus would never get to forget.

"As this new generation says: 'Payback is a bitch' Helen dear." And kissing her with cold lips, John vanished into thin air.

"Get out!" she screamed to the crew that was now the witness of her failure.

"Helen," Watson started.

"Out!" He understood, she needed to cry, and she wouldn't do it in front of them all. She wouldn't show any more weakness.

The moment the door closed, she cried her heart out. She knew chances were she would never be able to see her Samantha again.

Present

"So, you allowed him to take her?" She sounds surprised. I shrug defeated.

"There was nothing I could do at that moment. Even with the current high tech security, I still wouldn't be able to do anything more than allowing him to take her."

"What about fighting him? Did you at least search for her?"

"A fight with your father?" I snap at her. It is the rage that comes from the impotence I felt that day. I control my tone before continuing, "He disappeared to never come back until months ago. He doesn't remember that day. And yes, I have searched for her ever since. I've pulled every single string… but you ought to understand, Ashley, that just like you and me, Samantha Magnus didn't exist in the outside world, and no matter how hard you try, you can't find someone who doesn't exist."

At that moment, neither one of them suspected that only a few months later, Helen Magnus would lose another daughter into thin air.

Present Time

Cheyenne Mountain Complex

Jack's POV

She is hiding, I know. Truth is I know her too well to believe she's busy working. I know how much she hates her birthday and how much she hates the feeling of getting old. And somehow, I understand that, for her, that is reason enough to put herself in full don't annoy me I'm working mode. Heck! She even was testing the waters to see if Hammond would send us on a mission on her birthday! She got the godfather card out, and that is only to avoid people take a chance to say those 'damn words.'

She is unique, I know.

I approach her lab carefully, (yes, I care about my well being enough not to go in there without assessing the situation first). I find her sitting on a bench with her back towards the door.

She seems calm; she looks, hmm, not annoyed. I dare to go in and stand inside of her lab to watch her.

She always amazed me, her ability to do all sorts of things, her fighting skills, her mind, the solutions she always seems to have. And overall, I'm still dumbfounded by those striking blue eyes and enamored by that beautiful smile of hers. Oh, well, who am I kidding? I am pathetically in love with her.

But it can't be.

I shook my head, but it seems it is too late, and I've stared too much because she stopped whatever she was doing and turned to stare at me. She lets out a small smile, the one I know she reserves for me. Well, to me, when she catches me almost drooling at her.

"Sir? You need something?" She says

"Carter! No, nothing, I just came to see if you need something, coffee? A break?"

"Please tell me that, if I agree to go grab a cup of coffee, I won't end up in a surprise party?" she inquires with a bit of disgust in her voice.

"Nah, I was offering to go and grab something outside, before they send Danny here to find you and drag you to the surprise party."

"Why is it that they keep doing it?" She asks with a sigh.

"Because they love you and want the best for you, they just don't get to know you well enough to get the not a party girl vibe out of you," I grin. "I recruited Janet to come with us, you know? To be on the safe side. She's waiting for us on the topside. And Carter, someday you will have to explain to someone why you hate your birthday this much."

"I," she sighs, her blue eyes catch mine, and I can see so much pain in there, "my parents always told everyone that was dumb to have a birthday party just four days after Christmas and two before New Year's Eve. And I don't like the sensation of getting older. I feel like…" she bit her lower lip, "I feel like my life is slipping through my fingers, and I can't do anything to stop it. Do you get it?" She asks with a pleading tone and a gleam in her eyes that begs me to say yes.

I nod.

I don't get it. I am older than Carter, and to me, Sam looks the same way she looked two years ago when we first met. Maybe, is a girl thing?