The Spicer Diaries

Chapter 2-Fetch!

Okay, I own nothing but the Jackwolf and the Jade Long in this. I technically down OWN Nick the Bully, since he's a real humanoid creature…So mooses on your soul.

"Jack, a new Shen Gong Wu has been revealed!" Wuya hissed, floating through the wall of Jack's basement.

"What is it now?" Jack groaned, attempting to NOT fail his English homework for once.

"The Jade Long. It is a dragon encased in jade, which will shower dragonfire over the user's foes." Wuya hissed. "With such a powerful Shen Gong Wu, we could-"

"Take over the world!" Cried Jack happily.

"Um…Defeat the Xiaolin warriors." Wuya corrected. Jack looked quite ticked off, but nonetheless hopped into his transport robot thingerjang.

"Oh. Almost forgot the secret weapon." Jack said, and whistled shortly. The enormous Jackwolf bounded across the lawn and leapt into the transport, nearly crushing everyone's favorite evil boy genius.

"Are you sure it will fit?" Wuya said dryly. Jack nodded and closed the top on the transport. When the huge robot fit inside, he stuck his tongue out at the floating Heylin witch.

"See? Of course he fits." He scoffed, starting up the engine and shooting away.

XXX

Omi and the other Xiaolin warriors were searching the banks of a river for the Shen Gong Wu.

"It's lost as a cowdog what ain't got a nose." Clay sighed after they had looked for quite some while.

"Clay, is this the dog of which you speak?" Omi asked, pointing to an enormous canine running down the bank. Steam hissed from the creature's nostrils, and its eyes blazed red. It opened its steely jaws and let out a bone-chilling howl.

"Ahh! I do believe that the Shen Gong Wu is in the canine's possession, my friends!" Omi cried.

"I think you mean it's gone to the dogs, Omi." Kimiko corrected.

"Ah yes. That is what I said, right?" Omi wondered. Suddenly there was a familiar buzzing and the Xiaolin warriors gazed at the other end of the river bank to see Jack Spicer land beside the huge beast, the propellers of his helibot retracting into his backpack.

"Hey look, it's the Xiaolin losers." Jack called.

"Jack Spicer, we shall punch your behind!" Omi cried.

"I think he means we'll kick your butt." Raimundo sighed, crossing his arms.

"Ah yes. I am quite bad." Omi stated. No one bothered to correct him at this point.

"Nice pooch, Jack." Clay said, looking at the giant robot again.

"Yeah, isn't he cute? Jackwolf, attack!" Jack cried. The wolf leapt at the Xiaolin warriors, parting its jaws and snarling. There was a short snapping and growling, and the Xiaolin monks found themselves up a large tree. The Jackwolf was pacing around the trunk, leaping up and tying to catch them.

"Ah yes. Like any dog, this large canine cannot climb trees." Omi said quite proudly. Jack muttered under his breath.

"Jackwolf, fetch. Shen Gong Wu." Jack said. The Jackwolf pricked up its ears and held its nose up in the air for a matter of seconds, then raced down to the bank of the river and began to dig.

"This canine senses Shen Gong Wu?" Omi cried.

"Why I'll be a blind bullfrog in a hawk's nest." Clay remarked. Raimundo, who isn't afraid of dogs, leapt down from the tree and raced to where the Jackwolf was digging. The creature uncovered a glowing Jade-encrusted Chinese dragon statue. Rai grabbed it just when Jack did.

"Raimundo, I challenge you to a Xiaolin showdown!" Jack cried. He gazed around and spotted a bird's nest in one of the trees. "First one to get a straw from that nest wins." He declared. Rai nodded.

"Our Cap of Counteraction against your Third Arm Sash."Jack declared. Rai agreed to this.

"Let's go, Xiaolin showdown!" They cried. And the world around them began to shift. The tree and the bird's nest were on a little island in the river, and Rai and Jack were on separate ones.

"Gong yi tam pai!" (A/N-Will someone tell me what the crap that means?) Said Rai and Jack. Both attempted to find a way across the water. When that didn't work Jack decided to actually use his brain, and his Shen Gong Wu.

"Third Arm Sash!" He said with a smirk. The sash shot out, grabbing a straw from the bird's nest.

"That was over quicker than a race against a ranch horse and a rattlesnake." Clay sighed, shaking his head. Jack was too absorbed in doing some odd, creepyvictory dance to notice the Jackwolf standing over him and snorting.

"I won I won I won I won- Oh." He said, slightly startled at the sudden appearance of his robot. The Jackwolf growled slightly. "Uh…What do you want?" Jack asked, slightly nervous that there was an enormous robot equipped with Artificial Intelligence growling at him. The Jackwolf barked sharply, causing Jack to let out a high-pitched scream and dash off. The wolf stalked after him.

"What is wrong with Jack Spicer's canine?" Omi mused.

XXX

"Wuya, I don't think it likes me!" Jack cried unhappily as he watched the Jackwolf from his hiding place atop his dresser.

"Smart dog." Wuya muttered as she floated about.

"What do you do to make a dog like you?" Jack demanded.

"I do not meddle with dogs." Wuya told him, floating out of the room.

"Uhh…Nice doggie?" Jack squeaked. The robot growled at him, bristling the sharp metal spikes that made up the mane on its back. Jack decided that he should quickly find some way to appease the robot, since it looked much more dangerous now than it had been when he was building it. For when he was building it, it hadn't been trying to eat him. Jack searched through the top drawer of his dresser, where he kept his Shen Gong Wu. Hey, where else would you keep magical items of power? He found the Monkey Staff and picked it up.

"Uhh…Jackwolf, fetch. Money Staff!" Jack cried, tossing the Shen Gong Wu out the door. The robot leapt out and caught the staff in midair, bounding back and, much to Jack's surprise, wagging its tail. The Jackwolf set the staff down and barked sharply, pricking up its ears. Jack found this reaction very interesting. He picked the staff up again and tossed it. The robot raced after it, snatched it, and brought it back.

"Oh I get it. You want to play fetch?" Jack said, slightly confused since he hadn't programmed that. He shrugged, thinking of how he hadn't programmed Robo-Jack to betray him, either.

XXX

"Jack, you're about to be late for school again." Jack's mother called from upstairs.

"Sheesh, can't you people leave me alone for one flippin…Fine." Jack grumbled, tossing aside the screwdriver and stomping up the steps. He grabbed his backpack and dashed out. He actually managed to make the bus. He sighed and slumped into a seat, skimming through the chapter of Oliver Twist which they had to read for homework.

"Homework, Shen gong Wu, world domination, evil robots that try to kill me…" Jack sighed, thinking of how much easier everything was before his father sent him that puzzle box. He was cut off from his thoughts when something caught the back of his trenchcoat and jammed him into the back of the seat. Jack glanced around. It was Nick, the biggest and most crueland terrible bully in the high school. He was, unlike Jack who was a Freshman, a Junior.

"Hey Spicer." He spat, still tugging Jack's trenchcoat. "What's with that dog outside you house?"

"Uhh…Th-that's um…That's…" Jack stuttered, shaking like a leaf.

"Did your parents find it at the pound like they did you?" Nick growled. Jack began to seriously wonder why he didn't just blast this guy with the Eye of Dashi or something. Oh yeah, now I remember! Jack thought. I'd go to prison! I'll just have to do something about him after I rule the world, I guess.

"So did you do my homework for me, Spicer?" Nick demanded, shoving Jack against the front of the bus seat.

"Wait, since when do I-"

"Since this!" Nick cried, cutting Jack off with a punch to the face.

XXX

Jack spent some while in the nurse's office when he got to school.

"I don't see anything broken. You just have a pretty bad black eye, and a cut." The nurse said with a shrug. Jack moaned in reply. "You should be fine soon. But I suggest not getting into any fights." The nurse said.

"…Shen Gong Wu…world…domination…" Jack managed to mumble, spitting blood.

"Well I think you can worry about that after you're healed." The nurse said dryly, wondering why this kid was so obsessed with world domination. Jack groaned again and banged his head on the fluffy pillowit was laying on, falling fast asleep.

A/N-Yeah, oh how I hate Nick…He's a real person y'know…And he's actually more evil than Jack by my standards…REVIEW! Please? Pretty please with macaroni and cheese on top? WHADDYA MEAN YOU'RE LACTOSE INTOLERANT? Just review anyways! Flames will be handled calmly, and I shall take the notes in them into consideration.