A/N: Well, here's chapter 13... finally. Sorry for the wait. I'm hoping the foreshadowing will be worth it. ;) Enjoy! I don't own 'Iris'- it is by the Goo Goo Dolls. Though I'm quite fond of it. :)

Chapter Title: Iris

The following weeks leading into the beginning of December were a dazing blur of emotion, confusion, and determination on the part of Sara Sidle as she fought to maintain the collectedness she required to solve the case at hand. The last month had been absolutely brutal; with only a few leads that seemed to lead her new team in a never ending maze of circles along with a series of... admittedly devastating funerals, she was having a hard time coping. The funeral of her old best friend especially was easily the most difficult thing she'd faced in the month and a half she'd spent to date revisiting her past. She doubted the image would ever leave her mind's eye- Aspen, still stunningly beautiful even with the faint burn marks across her cheek, covered thickly with makeup... Laying there... a small, yet eerily peaceful smile playing at her lips, as if she may have awakened at any moment to giggle in mild embarrassment at the sight of so many people surrounding her as she... slept. But it was impossible. It hurt Sara to see her, knowing those striking blue eyes would never again open, that the arms of her sister would never again envelope her in the embrace she missed more than anything else in the world.

You bleed just to know you're alive...

"My name... is Sara Sidle. I worked with Aspen years ago before I transferred to my current position in Las Vegas..."

She relived the experience all the time, especially at night... Sometimes Sara would even dream about it- but in her dreams, Aspen's bright eyes did open, gaze meeting with hers as she sobbed over her oak casket. And suddenly she would become blind. Nothing but white light could penetrate her vision, and some distorted version of Aspen's voice would ring in her ears, whispering inaudible things... A whisp of golden blonde hair and finally a scream, and Sara would practically shoot out of bed, shaking violently as beads of salty tears mixed with sweat ran down her cheeks, silently anticipating the freefall to the mangled sheets below.

"Aspen... was my best friend for a long time. We did everything together... for a long time. She was my sister."

By now Sara had moved into her own apartment a few blocks away from Blaze's. It was lonely; after so many months with Nick. For the few days following the funerals, she stayed at Blaze's again. They needed each other, even if it was just to wake up with someone else around to talk to every morning. Slowly, things were getting better- the nightmares less frequent, the tears less noticeable.

"She still is. I love her like I could never love anyone else, and after so long apart... There's nothing I regret more than having to... meet again... under such horrible circumstances..."

She looked up that day from the microphone at the head of the church to see Neil being rolled in on his wheelchair. Her heart had nearly stopped beating. It made her sick to see such a devastated look on his forever cheerful face, knowing that he'd forget tomorrow and have to be told again that his fiance is dead. But they probably wouldn't tell him again. They just knew that the... old Neil... would want to be there. Certain that she'd wretch there on stage if she didn't break her stare, Sara had continued, swallowing a silent sob.

Or the moment of truth in your lies...

"I... blame myself."

The voices of two men echoed in her head as she stuffed her jacket into her locker as she prepared to make her way to the lab, skipping the breakroom for "assignments" altogether. A new assignment was foolish thinking.

"Those thoughts are poison..."

"Acknowledge it Sar,- It's not you're fault..."

And she was more thankful than she could express that they each continued to tell her that. Blaze caught her tears falling now and then and would always remind her... and Nick... well she missed him like crazy. She phoned him all the time, and never ceased to feel better afterward, but there was always something missing. What she wouldn't give to just fall into his arms again.

And I'd give up forever to touch you,
Cause I know that you feel me somehow...
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be...

I just don't wanna miss you tonight...

"Sara..."

Blaze walked into the locker room, catching her just as she was leaving to see if test results on a new suspect's DNA were in.

"Hmm? Hey, Blaze."

The tired, sad smile that had become so common to her features now crossed her face as she looked up at him.

"I want you to go home for Christmas."

She blinked blankly at him for a minute as his words sunk in. Pulling her straightened hair into a high ponytail, Sara managed to ease herself onto the cold metal bench, her eyes never leaving his.

"...What?"

"You should go home for Christmas."

"But, the case! And... It's just out of the ques--"

"Sara..."

At this point, her brow furrowed in familiar confusion.

"What, you don't want me here for Christmas?"

"No... no, that's not it at all Sara."

"Well what--?"

"You've been working like a racehorse on speed, Sara. You need a break more than anyone, and I know you'd be happier..." He seemed to gauge her expression for a response, and receiving little, he sighed. "Look, if you want to stay, fine. But we're at a plateau right now, and with the threat contained, we can afford to give everyone some time off. And I know you need it. Whether or not you choose to spend it here or back in Las Vegas is up to you... but I think you'll find the department willing to send you to a..." A crack of a smile crossed Blaze's fair expression. "conference... Supposedly a Gil Grissom is giving his annual entomology seminar."

When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am...

It couldn't be more clear by the look in his eye that he was serious.

"You've probably been to it before, but no matter..."

"... Thanks, Blaze."

Finally Sara rose from her position on the bench, wrapping her arms around the man before her in a friendly embrace.

"You really are the most... altruistic man in the world. Thank you."

"Sure Sar." He placed a comforting arm around her shoulders and smiled good-naturedly at her. "You deserve it more than anyone."

"You and Sofia have done excellent work on those last few cases you solved, Nick." Grissom looked up over his spectacles toward the man sitting before him within the closed doors of his office.

"Err... Thanks, Gris..."

"... Do you like working with her?"

And all I can taste is this moment...

"I... I don't mind, sure. I'll work with anyone, Gris. You know that."

"She seems to enjoy working with you too. She's actually made a formal request to our assistant lab director..." Grissom seemed to be fighting to maintain a straight face at the mention of Ecklie. "... that we make another team change- she wants charge over you and Warrick."

"What? You're kidding me, right?"

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"Of course I have a problem with that! I don't want the team broken up again!"

"Good... that's exactly what Warrick said. Then we have nothing to worry about."

"... Okay..."

"Here's your assignment... I'm taking you off the case you're currently on with Sofia and Warrick; we need someone to work this robbery case. Days and swing are swamped... so it falls to us on nights."

Nick, looking more than a little puzzled, accepted the new assignment slip from Grissom, looking it over.

"I'm working solo?"

"It's just a gas station robbery. You'll be fine. See if Vega is free- I think he's just finished working with Greg and Catherine."

"'kay. Thanks." He rose from his seat before the supervisor's desk, reading the slip absent mindedly on the way to the door. A torn look crossed Grissom's face as he watched, leaning back in his chair and finally removing his glasses from his face. Weighing the options... he chose to speak.

"... Hey Nick?"

"Yeah?" Nick looked up from the sheet in mild surprise.

"Uh... be careful. About what you get yourself into. She's coming back."

The younger CSI's brow furrowed as he attempted to dissect the supervisor's words.

"... What, Sara?"

Grissom looked down again, pulling up a file from his cluttered desk.

"Hmm."

Cause sooner or later it's over...
I just don't want to miss you tonight...
"Wow... I don't think I've seen her that... irked..." Sitting tiredly at the breakroom table, Greg looked up from his coffee, though he continued to stir it absently as his eyes drifted over to Catherine, who was helping herself to a cup of his secret stash. Too exhausted to care, he didn't try to stop her, instead peering through the series of glass walls between them and Grissom's office. It was difficult to see through the tinted window on his door, but it appeared that the person talking to the supervisor was standing, pacing around. "Any idea why she's so angry?"

"I heard that Gil took Nick off their case, and refused to split the team up again when she requested another shift change to Ecklie." Catherine answered boredly, rolling her eyes as she stirred some of the lab-provided nasty Coffee-mate creamer into her coffee, hoping it wouldn't ruin the taste too much.

"... Oh..."

"Yeah."

"She seems to have completely lost it since Sara left- have you noticed?"

At this, Catherine couldn't help but let out a dry laugh.

"Yeah, I've noticed. And the way she always manages to get Nick and Warrick."

"You don't think--"

"Greg, don't be thick. Of course she's after him. And with Sara gone, she must figure she has something of a chance."

"Nick would never go for that." Greg stated confidently, looking back at his coffee now and pulling out the stir stick. Taking a sip, he leaned back in his chair. "He really loves Sara."

"I think you're right- I hope you're right, but that's not going to stop her trying."

A/N: So there you go... Chapter 13. Sorry it took so long to update- my excuse is.. (cough) life. As usual. (laughs) Anyway, hope it was enjoyed... So Sara's going to see Nicky for Christmas! Everyone kept saying 'send Nicky to see Sara!', so I had to do something- this works better with the rest of the plot. I can't wait to write the Christmas holidays chapters. :) Please drop me a review, let me know if you loved it... or god forbid.. hated it. (haha) Thanks, and...

Until next time, (and lots of lurve!)

-Sahariah