Chapter 6

Swoosh!

Damn. Instantly as she stepped through the door, the ominous letter sat in her fireplace. Her mind was still scattered in every which way. Bitter sweet. Those few moments were pure bliss, euphoria didn't begin to describe it and yet neither did devastation… Another year. Another year to wait, to suffer, to learn, to wish, to dream. Bitter sweet. Maybe those few moments where time stood still could last a, what was now to be, four more years. Just maybe.

She didn't need to open the letter to know exactly what its text consisted of but did that stop her? No. She walked through what seemed to be the fog of her thoughts over to where the letter simply dared her to pick it up. She took it up on its offer.

ITo Miss Mary Poppins,

The P.P.I.E.W.A. unfortunately would like inform you that you are being taken off the assignment as you have made it extremely clear that you have become emotionally involved. You will have to, as we are sure you know, go through another year's training before you may return to completing your three years term of service before you leave us. The wind will change tomorrow and you will return to us for the said training. Ha ha ha. Sucks for you.

The P.P.I.E.W.A./I

Of course, that last bit wasn't ACTUALLY there but she imagined that it was.

Even though she had seen it coming, her heart sank drastically. It was final, she was going back. It would be just that much longer before she would see him again. She turned around to face her empty room. It just screamed "I told you so.' But the thing about inanimate objects screaming at you was that you could scream back all you wanted and all you would get in return would be the strange looks from onlookers and the satisfaction you were looking for, never came. Yes, she was tempted to scream back but thought better of it for the reason just mentioned above. There was neither a use nor a point for the screaming so for a moment she stood still, quiet, motionless.

What now? She felt as if she were lost or as if she had come into a room with a specific purpose but now that she was there she couldn't remember what she had come for. So she slowly walked over to her carpetbag in the corner and as if in slow motion she picked it up and set it on her bed. No emotion ran through her body now. Everything had been used and there was no reason to feel or to think. Feeling and thinking only drained her that much more…so she just stopped, walked over to her lamp with the bright, sparkling colors and put it in the bag. And that was that.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Burt?" A head pocked through the front door and its mouth curved into a bright smile…that slowly faded out. He hadn't moved since she'd left. He hadn't tried. In that instant he knew, there was no doubt about that. But what now? Why did he even ask himself that, he knew what now. He knew exactly what now but how?

It had to be done but he didn't know if he could find it in him to do it. He would just have find a way somehow because it be fair to her. He turned his head so he could see her puzzled frame standing in the doorway. "Pricilla…"

Her brow knit together, what was wrong with him? He was so distant with her lately and she couldn't figure it out for the life of her. "What is it?"

"Pricilla, we need to talk," he told her bluntly as she came in and closed the door behind her. She stood frozen there, facing the door with her hand on the knob and her back to him.

"About what?"

"About us…"

She turned around with sad eyes. That's why. She didn't need him to continue the conversation to know what was to come. Did she stop him, though? No…no she didn't.

"Pricilla…you know that I care about you, right?"

She felt her throat tighten and barely got out a "Yes."

"And you know that I want to be able to take care of you, right?" She nodded a grave nod. She saw the sadness in his eyes for what he was about to say. All of the things above were true, she knew that. She also knew that something was to come that she didn't want to hear. Her eyes began to fill with tears when he continued. "But I – I can't give you what you want," he told her dismally.

"But Burt…all I want is you," she said through the raining moister from her tear ducts.

He wished that he could make them stop, he wished he could take away her pain, he wished what he was about to say was a lie but it wasn't, it was true. "That's just it…you can't have me…"

"Wa-what…?" she asked far to softly for him to have heard so he continued.

"And you deserve someone that you can have, not someone that you can only have pieces of. I'm sorry."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

He got up from the kitchen table wondering who it was. It had been tough saying goodbye to Pricilla because she had been a big part of his life but his heart lay elsewhere and he could force the both of them to live that lie. It would have been wrong for him to marry her when his heart belonged to someone else, a much bigger part of his life.

He opened the door and a wiry smile appeared on his face. "Why hello there, Mary Poppins…" But his smile slowly disappeared when he took a closer look. She was wearing her traveling coat and carrying her carpetbag and umbrella.

She gave him a weak smile. "Hello Burt." He opened the door for her to enter and she did, just a few steps. Oh boy, this was it. Goodbye yet again. She only prayed that the events following this one wouldn't result in the same way. Given their track record, she almost considered not coming but realized that would only screw things up ten times more. She inhaled deeply as she looked into his wondering eyes. "Burt… I have to go."

And then there was silence. A thoughtful, working, anticipating silence where he looked at her and she looked at him. He breathed. She breathed. He thought. She thought. And then, "Will you be back?"

"Yes," she answered immediately.

And then there was yet another silence. This time a comfortable silence, a silence of knowing, a silence of Goodbye. "Okay."

Okay?…She'd take it. She gave him a grateful smile as to say "Thank You." Thank you for making this as simple as it seemed. She handed him the letter she'd received.

"It says there how long-"

He held up his hand and she stopped. "Are you coming back," he asked her again.

"…Yes," she told him again.

"I'll be waiting." It was amazing to think that they could have had it all but even more so to think that they still could.

THE END LOVES 3