Chapter 19

Day 2

KTH POV

I hadn't gone to sleep as quickly as I'd thought I would so when my alarm went off, I opened one eye, squinting with the other as I fought with the alarm to switch it off. My mind had taken a while to settle. Talking about sex before bed, even in a veiled conversation, had made my mind wander into territory that felt exciting. It had been a while since I had been in a relationship and in my line of work, one night stands were just asking for trouble so I'd avoided them. Plus, the two nights of cuddling next to her had reminded me how much I needed something or someone in my arms when I slept. The spare hotel pillow just didn't cut it. I was ready for wherever this was going and had thought about that well after I should've been asleep.

Brushing my hair to the side, I contemplated freshening up a little and then realised she'd seen me in the mornings already so it would be better to just ring her and not waste anymore time. It only buzzed for a short time before she picked up and I saw her face, smiling instantly.

"Good morning," I said, my voice coming out gruff before I cleared my throat.

"Well, that is even deeper than usual, I like it, good morning to you too," she replied and I could see she was sitting at the kitchen bench, the lounge spread out behind her. I also loved that we slipped straight into flirting, that was definitely escalating.

"You look like you've been awake longer than the 4 minutes I have."

She was staring at me, her eyebrows raised before answering. "Yes, it's been a long 2 hours. I've been looking forward to seeing you but wasn't counting on seeing so much of you, that's a nice wake up for sure."

I followed her gaze down and realised that I had no shirt on. That's how I normally slept but when I'd stayed at her place, I'd worn a t-shirt to bed. In my early morning fuzziness I hadn't grabbed one. I raised the phone up so you could just see my shoulders and head, feeling strangely self conscious.

"Oh, I wasn't complaining," she said with a smirk and I thought how sexy that smile looked on her face, wanting to kiss her until the smirk changed to a different kind of smile. My mind wandered and I had to bring it back on track.

"There are children present, lets keep in PG," I answered, pursing my lips in a faux prim expression. "Where is Sophia?"

"She's in her bedroom finding the shoes she wants to wear to preschool today. My guess is gumboots, even though she is wearing a fairy dress but you can't argue dress sense with a 3 year old."

"You can't argue dress sense with a 27 year old either," I replied, thinking that I wore what I wanted to wear as well when I didn't have to have a stylist dress me. Even then, I put my foot down if I really didn't agree with how they made me look or at least more recently I did.

"Did you sleep OK?" she asked, sipping on a hot drink.

"Not really. I was... distracted." I was not going to tell her exactly what I'd been thinking but came up with the closest I could without making her blush. " I missed curling up next to you last night."

I was wrong, that brought a tinge to her cheeks anyway, the flush very appealing. "So did I."

I sighed. "Lets change the subject or I'll miss you too much. First concert back in Australia is tonight. I've been practicing my Australian accent. Gidday mate."

She cracked up laughing. "OK."

"What? Not good?"

"Well, it was very cute and everyone will cheer."

"OK but not good then," I laughed along with her.

"That TaeTae?" Sophia asked, walked into the room.

She climbed into Marley's lap. "Hello," she said, waving Tinky at me. Marley was right, she had rain shoes on and the cutest purple fairy dress complete with wings.

"BugBug, are you going to bed now?" I teased.

She giggled. "I going to preschool."

"What are you going to play with today?"

She thought for a minute. "I play with blocks and trucks."

"Sounds good BugBug. What are you going to build with the blocks?"

"I make a house for Mama and Sophia. Where's TaeTae? You come to my house?"

"I went on an aeroplane so I can't come right now," I answered.

3 year olds were easy to please and that seemed to satisfy her. "OK, I see you soon," she said climbing down and walking over to her toys.

I laughed. "Talking to a small child is always very random."

"That's why you get on so well with her," Marley teased.

"I thought you liked that I was random and hopeless and cute," I pouted.

"Yes to all of that. A hundred times over."

I looked at the time and groaned. "I have to get out of bed and start getting ready. I'm sorry."

"That's OK Tae. It is your job. I'd stay in bed all day and talk to you if I could."

"While I like the idea of more bed talk, I'll let you go."

Her mouth dropped open slightly. The flirting had definitely more than escalated and it was getting very dangerous on my self control. "Goodbye Marley, until next time."

"Until next time."

Marley POV

The rest of the day passed much like the day before. I thought about Tae, was distracted from my work, caught myself drifting off from not enough sleep. This day dragged a whole lot more though knowing I wouldn't be talking to him at bedtime and the unknown of when I'd see him again in person was in the forefront of my mind. He's in a different country to me which in reality is likely to be the case 99.7% of the time and I didn't love that at all.

But just because I couldn't see him in person didn't mean that the hundreds of hours of him online couldn't be viewed anytime I wanted. So I found myself scrolling through youTube again, watching an unhealthy number of BTS and Tae related footage, incredibly grateful to the original ARMY for uploading so much content. It helped with missing him. But only a little.

Day 3

KTH POV

It had now been three sleeps of waking up in a different country to Marley. It might as well have been a different planet, she felt so far away. I needed to talk to someone and had a few minutes before I had to leave so I called the person I always turned to when I had too much going on in my head.

"Hey Appa," I greeted my papa as he popped up on the screen.

"Taehyung, how are you son? Your eyes look sad."

I don't know how he could read me so well but we'd always been close. "I wanted to ask some advice."

"What do you need?"

"Well, I need Marley but I don't know if I can have her," I answered, sighing.

"Start at the beginning Taehyung so you make sense."

"I met someone when we were travelling in New Zealand. We only had 5 days together but Appa, it was amazing. And I'm missing her. So much, like so so so much."

"So, what's the problem because it seems you already care for her, your face is speaking loudly. Are you worried that it was such a short time and if it could actually become a real relationship?"

"That's exactly what I'm thinking about. Can I really fall for someone in five days?"

"I guess the question is, did you fall for this Marley in five days?"

"Yes, I think I did."

"Think or know, they are different things."

"OK, honestly I know I did, I fell and I don't want to pick myself up because it feels amazing. But right now I'm just sad to be apart."

"Then there's your answer. Yes you can and you did. So now, how to have a relationship when you are living the life you do. That will not be easy. But you can make it work."

"You seem so sure and I haven't explained anything about the things that make it complicated."

"What's to explain? If you love her, it can work. Do you love her?"

I was silent at such a direct question, thinking it over. "That I can't put into words yet."

"Because you don't know if she feels the same?"

"Yes, I guess that's a big part of it. And because it's only been a few days, too soon to declare anything like that. She seems to feel like I do I think but we speak a different language so I might be reading things wrong."

"You could ask her."

"Come out and ask, so, do you love me? That's horrifying Appa, I can't possibly!"

"So, spend time together and see if you can find the answer without words."

"That all seems simple but like mine, her life isn't simple either."

"At least ask, you know if you think hard enough you'll be able to find a way to see her."

I felt calmer listening to him, he was always so straight forward and wise. "OK, I'll think about it. I'm calling her later, I just had 10 minutes now and needed to talk to you. Thank you for listening."

"Taehyung, you have a big heart and you need to share it with the right person. If Marley turns out to be that person, she'll be very lucky."

"Thank you Papa, please say hello to Eomma for me. Jin just let me know it's time to go so I need to hang up."

"Will do and send me a photo of Marley, I want to see the person who has taken your heart."

"Oh, she's incredible, I'll send you lots later today. Love you Appa."

"Love you too Taehyung."

As I clicked off and put my shoes on to head out for a rehearsal, I thought of his words. I could find a way to see her, we needed something concrete to look forward to or at least I did. How to make that happen was the next conversation I needed to have and my brain was ticking over as I met security to walk out to the car.

Marley POV

The doorbell rang, shaking me from what I was watching. It was late afternoon and I had managed to get a little work done, taking long breaks in between to recharge. What that looked like at the moment was searching the internet for more information about Tae. When I'd discovered Run BTS a few days ago, I was set and found myself watching it constantly, already on episode 24. It gave me a chance to learn more of all of their personalities as they hung out together and see a young Taehyungie grow up. It was the strangest, most delightful, difficult thing to watch him while thinking about the man he was now.

I clicked pause as I went to open the door, signing for a courier. I wasn't expecting anything and it had the address and name of a company I didn't recognise so I wasn't sure what it was. Splitting the top of the courier bag open as I walked back into the lounge, I took out a beautiful purple box, wrapped in padding to protect it. It was long and thin, with gold embossed writing along the top in of the name of the company. There was a note inside the packaging and I opened it. "It is worth remembering, a small gift so you'll think of me. Tae xx"

My mouth dropped open and I read the note again before holding my breath as I opened the box. Nestled inside was a beautiful, delicate silver bracelet. Taking it carefully out, I held it against my arm, the fine chain at both ends of a thin, textured bar, a purple gem at one end. I turned it over and saw a date engraved on the back. Thinking back, I realised it was the day in the park, when we first met. My hand flew to my chest, keeping my heart inside so it wouldn't explode with how fast it was beating.

Marley

Oh Tae, it's beautiful, thank you, thank you!

TaeTae

I'm hoping that's because something arrived for you?

Marley

Yes! Yes! I'm wearing it already, I can't believe you did that for me. My heart!

TaeTae

I thought it was important to remember that day. I know I won't forget and I didn't want you to either

Marley

I will always, always remember. Are you free to call now?

TaeTae

I will be in about an hour, there's lots to say

Marley

Yes there is, thank you Tae. My day just got so much better.

TaeTae

All I want is you to be happy so I am glad. Until next time xx

I smiled as we hung up, the same words spoken every time we finished our call. We had a thing we did together, cementing more memories and moments between us.

It was early evening when the call came through and I connected straight away, holding my arm up to show him the bracelet sitting against my skin.

"It looks beautiful on you, I knew it would," he said with a soft smile. "All the jewellery I saw you wearing was very delicate so I wanted something you'd wear. I prefer gold on myself but you seemed to wear silver so that's what I decided on. I hope it's OK?"

"More than OK, it's exactly the kind of thing I would choose for myself. You have great taste."

"I am known for that," he said, flicking the ends of his hair and tossing his head with a grin.

"I can see why," I laughed. "Thank you again Tae, I wish I'd gotten you something."

"Every time I reach for the lip balm I think of you. That's a gift."

I rolled my eyes at his charm, resting my hand against my face and just looking at him. He didn't blink as he looked back and then all of a sudden he got shy. I wasn't sure I'd ever understand how confident he could appear on stage and then, how cute he could be in person.

"So, I've been watching you," I said and he nodded then looked confused when I shook my head. Staring into the screen after wrinkling his forehead he stuck his lip out. "Not now, although I was but I mean watching footage taken on your tours."

"Oh, that's what I love most I think about what we do, hanging out with ARMY in concerts."

"I saw a whole lot of songs I hadn't seen before. Some are..., well, I can definitely see why they are fan favourites."

"Oh, what ones are those then?"

I laughed and pressed my fingers to my mouth as I answered, slightly embarrassed. "For a start, Dimple. And Pied Piper. Nice, I mean, very very nice."

"Ah yes, black shirts right? We do get a lot of love for those songs, I'm not sure why," he finished, biting his lip with a quick raise of his eyebrow.

"You know why," I replied as he smirked. "You know you look incredibly sexy when you dance in those. The body rolls, the way you look at the camera, very fun to watch."

"Well, we've been told that but it sounds different coming from your mouth," and his cheeks lifted as he gave me a shy smile.

"Any other favourites apart from those?"

"I do love to just watch you dance in all your songs," I replied and he leaned his head to the side looking a little bashful. "ON has excellent choreography. That has to be my favourite I think, you look amazing, the way your body moves."

"Which performance have you seen?"

"Take your pick, you in white, or black, you looked great in all of them. Grand Central Station maybe? I've been there so I felt like I could feel the atmosphere."

"You're quite musical aren't you? You talk about being able to feel the music, not everyone can do that."

"I used to dance, a long time ago. And sing, before I had Sophia. But it's embarrassing to say because clearly I'm not on the level you're at so I don't even want to talk about it."

"But I do. I find everything about you fascinating. What kind of dance?"

"I did contemporary for a few years, ballet before that, tap dancing when I was a small child."

"I'll have to tell Jimin, he'll want to do a dance battle," he laughed.

"Absolutely not! I haven't danced in years and he moves like an angel."

"Oh, you've watched him then?" Tae asked, raising an eyebrow and looking away from the screen.

Was this a little jealousy?

"Taehyung, I have watched him dance, yes, but not the way I watch you dance. Or sing for that matter. You're all very talented but I'm not wanting to," and I stopped while he wrinkled his forehead and waited for me to continue. What did I want to say? I'm not wanting to date them, only you? Not wanting to kiss them? Not wanting to be in a relationship with them? I cleared my throat before picking up where I'd stopped. "Not wanting to explore possibilities with them."

He paused and blinked. "There's been something I've been wanting to say, I didn't talk enough before we left and it feels unfinished."

I held my breath as he took a big one in and let it out, licking his lips. "I said that it was such a short time to have feelings already. I wasn't meaning that it wasn't enough time. I was trying to express that I was surprised to already have strong feelings after such a short time. Most people would say it's not long enough. But now, after meeting you, I disagree." Watching him, I could see he was having trouble looking at me, twisting his hands together as he spoke. Then he made eye contact and held mine in his. "I think this could be something Marley and I want it to be."

The breath I'd been holding came out in a puff, my smile instant as he waited for my reaction. "Have you been worried how I've been feeling? Because it was an instant connection to you. I guess I didn't do a very good job of showing you that," His face mirrored mine, his smile huge. "The only thing holding me back was thinking that it was too soon after Matty." He nodded, his smile dropping slightly. "But I realised after talking to my mother, that it wasn't me that was thinking it was too soon, I was more worried that others would think that way."

"So, you might want to try to see where this is going?" His face had broken into a boxy smile, his voice going up at the end as he asked.

"I definitely do," I replied, feeling a flutter, like being asked out by a boy for the first time.

"That is the best thing I could've heard today, I was nervous to talk about it." He'd put his hand to his chest as if checking his breathing.

"No secrets right? We said we'd be honest with each other so I wish we'd been able to talk about it when you were here, maybe the last few days would've been a little easier."

"You've been having a hard time? I thought it was only me."

"Not just you," I replied with a sigh. "I'm embarrassed to say I've not been able to get much work done."

"I think it would be easier if we had something to look forward to, like seeing each other in person again? Maybe we should plan when that could be so we had something concrete?"

"Yes, I'd rather have a countdown knowing it was weeks away but having something to plan for than not knowing if it will ever happen and being left wondering."

"How about..."

But I didn't get to hear him finish as a long, loud wail sounded from Sophia's bedroom. "Oh Tae, I've gotta go see what's happened, lets talk about it more tomorrow," and I jumped up from sofa, dropping the laptop on the kitchen bench as I raced out of the room.

KTH POV

It was definitely an abrupt end to our talk but Marley hadn't hung up the video call when she'd hurriedly put the laptop on the bench and I could hear the wailing slowly start to subside as I stared at the empty room. Part of me wanted to stay and listen but it felt very obtrusive. I went to click out when Marley walked back into the room, Sophia clinging to her like a koala, her damp curls and tear filled face visible as they walked past to the couch and sat down. Marley was whispering "shhhhhh baby girl," rubbing her back as her crying settled into soft hiccup tears.

"What's wrong baby?" Marley asked when she could be heard over the crying. Sophia didn't answer, just continued to snuffle and Marley leaned back on the couch grabbing a blanket, covering them both. She hummed softly, the sweet melody drifting through the room, into the laptop, across the ocean and into my ears, captivating another part of my heart. As she stroked Sophia's forehead, rocking very gently from side to side, they both closed their eyes and I sat and watched as they drifted off to sleep together, savouring the moment as best I could from so far away. Wanting to protect them, hug them both. And when I was sure they were both settled into a deep sleep, I finally hung up the call, thinking well into the night.

Marley POV

The next day

"Please come."

I was laying on my stomach, phone propped against my pillow and startled, I lifted my head up. We had been on a video call for half an hour and had both been fairly quiet, comfortable to not have to talk the whole time. I'd been answering messages and emails for work, he'd been learning some lyrics. That was the first thing he'd said in two or three minutes.

"Come where?" I asked, brain ticking over.

"Here, to Australia. We have two more concerts then four days off, come and bring Sophia too. I looked, it's only a four hour flight. I... I am missing you. It's already been almost a week."

I stared silently at the screen, a small smile on my face. His expression was so sweet and his eyes were looking shyly down. "I would love to. But I don't know how I can make that work. You want me to fly out in a few days time?"

"Anytime. If you can come tomorrow, I'll be waiting. Or even if you can just come for one day."

"I have deadlines. And Sophia has daycare. And..." I stopped but I really didn't have to think, "and of course, I do want to see you."

He smiled. "If you want to then I am happy. We can make it happen."

"You're very confident," I retorted, sitting up.

"We can fix the reasons why not. Bring work to do when I am working, Sophia can miss daycare for a few days. Please make my day better."

I was flustered and flattered and the butterflies were flitting in my stomach again. "OK"

"OK?!" he replied, "do you mean it?" His voice echoed my feelings as his face lit up. "Why does that smile hit straight to my heart?" I wondered again. I couldn't stop thinking about it and here I was agreeing to go see it again, in person, my whole body lighting up at the thought.

"OK," I said again with a laugh. "I'll ring preschool and let them know she's not coming. Or..." and I stopped, thinking out loud. He turned his head to the side, waiting for me finish. "Or, I could ask mum to have her for a few days and come by myself?"

He stopped moving and stared straight at the camera for a few seconds, not blinking. "Sophia is wonderful. But just you would be wonderful too."

"I haven't had a break away since..., well more than a year. I think she would do that for me, I've never had a reason until now." My lips twisted up and I felt my cheeks flush. Just the two of us. Well, and the members, staff, work. But, it was good enough. "I can work on the plane and I'll call mum now about Sophia."

His gaze had been focused on my face and he hadn't wavered in watching me. "Yes and let me know when, I can sort the tickets."

"You don't need to do that, I work," I replied.

"Marley, I try to say this as well as I can but, I ask you as my guest and money, I don't need to worry. Just let me know if it is a ticket for one or two so I know who is coming to sort a room for you and staff will be in touch to sort it all. I am happy now. The members will not be mad at me," he finished with a laugh. "I have been very distracted."

"I'm so looking forward to it Tae, I'll call mum and message you but I don't think it will be a problem. She's already told me she'll support me however I need. Talk to you later."

"Goodbye for now Marley, my heart is very happy that I can hold you soon."

Less than ten minutes later, I'd finished on the phone with Mum after she'd wholeheartedly agreed to have Sophia for as long as I needed. I'd confirmed that it was just for four or five days and sent a message off to Tae, confirming it would just be me. The instant reply of heart emojis made me smile and I messaged Abby, knowing I needed a shopping buddy to get some new clothes. I wanted this to go as well as it possibly could and feeling confident in how I looked would help. The next few days were going to be very busy.