Chapter 20

Marley POV

As I walked through the mall entrance and towards the place we had agreed to meet, Abigail came bounding over, wrapped me in a hug and squeezed hard. "It's about time we went shopping together again," she squeaked as she took my hand and dragged me towards the first clothing shop she could see. No-one would know she was my older sister by the way she acted. Three years older than me, married with two adorable sons, she was a bubbly, excitable bundle of energy and I adored her.

We'd fought a little growing up but not badly considering we shared a room until she moved out of home. My favourite memories were when we started to share clothes and swap stories about boys we liked, we were best friends now and she was my confidante.

"I've been a little uninspired to shop this past year," I replied and she patted my arm, acknowledging my loss but not dwelling on it. Somehow, since Matty had died, she knew just the right way of allowing me my feelings but comforting me at the same time.

"So, there must be something, or someone, that is inspiring you to go shopping now?" she asked as she pulled four tops from a rack and handed them to me. I took them from her, half heartedly hanging them over my arm. She loved to shop and I usually didn't mind it, somehow this felt daunting though. I had only told her that I was going on a trip and I needed clothes for it. She hadn't asked many questions on the phone, happy to hang out. I think she was waiting for me to download in person the reason for it all.

"So which is it? Something or someone we're shopping for?"

I followed her over to the jeans as I answered. "Both I guess. I'm going over to Australia for a few days, Mum is looking after Sophia."

"Is it a work trip or...," she probed, holding up a pair of jeans then putting them back and reaching for another. "This one and these two colours," she advised, handing those to me as well.

"Umm...," I cleared my throat. "I am meeting someone over there so not a work trip for me."

"Marley!" she exclaimed loudly and people turned to stare before I shushed her and dragged her to a quieter part of the shop.

"You have to try and remain calm, " I said as I took her hand to hold her still.

"OK, curious," she replied, placing her remaining hand on her hip.

"So, I was at a park a few weeks ago and I met a guy. He's really, really nice and we spent time together. He thinks Sophia is amazing and I'm flying over to spend time with him."

"Oh Marley, I'm so happy for you. But, he lives in Australia?" she asked with a frown.

"Not exactly."

"Not exactly? How can he not exactly live in Australia?"

"Well, he actually definitely doesn't live in Australia. It's complicated. He was here for work and then he's there for work."

"So, where is home for him then."

"South Korea," I said, twisting my lips together.

"Oh, oh, wow, that's a long way away. So long distance thing then? He must be amazing if you are wanting to get to know him and he lives so far away. What does this mean? If you get married would you move?" Her words were falling out of her mouth faster than I could keep up.

I laughed. "Slow down Abby, it's only a new thing and it's more complicated than all of that anyway. We haven't really spent much time together without Sophia around so it's kind of a testing ground trip I think."

"How romantic," she replied, putting her hand to her chest and I finally let go of her other hand, now that she seemed to have calmed down. "Meeting in the middle, he must be worth it. I know it's not an easy thing to leave Sophia bug behind."

"It's not but it's only for a few days. Maybe you could take the boys round to mums to play and give her a break from Little Miss Energy."

"Of course, but tell me more. What's his name? How old is he? What does he do. Oooo, what does he look like?"

I focused on the last question, feeling like I needed to ease into this part of the revelation. "He is one of the most gorgeous men I have ever seen, like, honestly no jokes. He is swoon worthy."

"Do you have any pictures? Have you stalked him on social media yet? That often tells a lot about a person."

I swallowed a laugh at the thought of how much was out there online about Tae and said, "well, we took a few photos together when he was in town, I can show you?" Clicking on my phone, I found the best one of the two of us together and held it up to her. She grabbed the phone and zoomed in.

"Oh, oh, oh! He is more swoon worthy than a movie star! Are you sure he's real? His eyes, woah and his smile. Wait, is that taken in your bedroom?!"

"Yes my bedroom, he came over and we had dinner one night while he was here. He stayed the night but nothing happened. The next night he took me to dinner at a great restaurant." I omitted the fact that he had hired out the whole thing so it was just the two of us there.

"So he is respectful and he has money then? I guess that makes sense if he travels lots for his job. You didn't tell me what he does?"

"Ah, he's in the music industry," I said vaguely and she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Show me that photo again? I thought he looked a little familiar."

I handed her the phone again and she took it, looking for ages as she zoomed in. "I know I've seen his face before but can't quite place where, what's his name Marley?"

"His full name is Kim Taehyung but he goes by..."

"V!" she exclaimed with me as I said his name and she grabbed my hand pulling me close as words leaked through her gritted teeth. "Are you telling me that you are flying to Australia to hang out with V from BTS?"

"Oooow, you're hurting me," I answered. "And yes, that's what I'm telling you."

Her eyes grew huge and she looked like she was struggling to form sentences.

"I know, it's quite a lot to take in," I said. She nodded and then took a big breath.

"I have questions. A lot of questions. But you go try those on and I will think of them all so that when we sit and have lunch, you can answer them in one go. Meanwhile, my heart will have a chance to slow down again."

"OK, I'll go try these on and we can talk later."

Abby nodded still deep in thought and I didn't blame her, that was still my default setting with this whole situation most of the time. "Mmmmhhmmmm, take your time," she mumbled as I walked into the dressing room.

90 minutes later I collapsed into a table at the mall cafe, three clothing bags in my hand. We'd managed to get a bunch of tops, jeans and a few dresses that passed both mine and Abby's approval. I'd been keeping the conversation away from Tae and I could see she'd been biting her tongue, ready to explode the moment we sat down.

"So, spill, like from the beginning. How the heck did you meet Kim Taehyung."

"Sophia went up to Tae at the park near our house, you know what an icebreaker she is. I didn't know who he was until later that night. And then the next day, he invited me to go on a picnic with him."

I was watching her face, hanging on my every word as I outlined what had happened. "Oh, a picnic, how romantic. And you call him Tae?"

"Well yes, it was a great way to get to know him more and yes, Tae for me, Sophia calls him TaeTae."

"She likes him then?"

"Yes and she's asked for him a couple of times since they left. She even fell asleep on him one night while he was here. They're already friends."

"Have you kissed?"

Of course that would be the next question she'd ask. I waited until the server had finished putting our drinks on the table and walked away before answering.

"Yes."

She inhaled sharply. "How, where, when?"

"Well, it didn't happen straight away. I didn't want to feel like I was betraying Matty." She nodded as I continued. "But when it happened, we were preparing dinner together and it was very natural. And, then, it just kept happening."

"And?"

"And what," I replied, sipping my drink.

"And was it good?"

"What do you think?" I asked with a smirk.

"I think he's one of the hottest guys on the planet and if he kisses like he looks then it was amazing!"

"Well, I'll just say it was perfect. Each and every time."

"Diplomatic. And I'm going to go with you haven't slept together yet?"

"Why would you assume that?" I asked, surprised.

"I know Matty is the only guy you've been with and for you it's a big deal."

"We only had five days together and we didn't kiss until the 4th day so no, we didn't get that far. Yet."

"Right, next stop the lingerie shop then."

"It might not be heading that way," I said, taking another drink, cheeks slightly pink and glad we were tucked away in a booth near the back of the cafe. Abby's voice could carry when she got excited.

"Marley, you are flying over to Australia to see him after only knowing him for a few days. Without Sophia. What do you hope will happen?"

"Well, I'm hoping we work out what we are. And if it moves forward naturally then that's all part of it. But I'm not going to force it."

"You're a beautiful woman Marley, you deserve the world. And he is someone who can give it to you. But it's going to be complicated. Still, best be prepared, new underwear and lingerie."

"Stop Abby and for goodness sake, talk more quietly!" I scolded as her voice went up in volume.

"Sorry but I'm happy for you. And excited. And still in shock. Have you met the other members of the band?"

"Yes, all of them. They're all really nice. Sweet to both Sophia and I and very supportive of Tae."

"Single?"

"Abby, you're married. With kids."

"Yes, I know," she sighed. "I'm joking, mostly. Has he sung for you?"

"Not for me but one night he sang to Sophia to help her go back to sleep."

"That's so freakin' cute. But wait, he stayed the night then?"

"Yes, he did and I've already told you, nothing like that happened."

"He's a better man than I thought."

"Abby, he's amazing. I mean, he planned a whole day for me. Organised a massage and then took me out for dinner. He hired a whole restaurant out so we could have privacy. It was incredible. And then he had to leave the next day." I knew my face was betraying how I was feeling when I thought of that, him walking away. She patted my hand.

"So then he invited you over to see him?"

"It was out of the blue a few nights ago on the phone, I leave tomorrow. When he left we hadn't really decided exactly what we were, after all, it was just a few days. But we honestly couldn't stay apart, I was so upset that night after he flew out. It's actually a little crazy that I feel so strongly so quickly."

She clutched my hand tightly in hers. "I can't see you broken again if this goes badly for you."

"I know, I've thought the same. Can my heart be broken again and heal a second time? It's not the same but it could still be painful. And I don't know how we can be in a relationship. But I do know that not knowing might be worse."

"OK then, I'll support you in this because I love you and I know you'll get me free tickets to a concert."

I laughed, she could always coax a smile from me. "I'll see what I can do."

"Right, lets finish our drinks and get you some fancy new under things then," and I knew she would win on that one.

Mission accomplished. I now had five bags and lots of things that made me blush, Abby had to leave to go back to her kids and I looked at my watch. I still had a few hours before I needed to get Sophia from preschool and I wanted to get my eyelashes and nails done so I walked into the local beauty salon. As I sat in a chair, I looked down at my left hand, noticing my rings. They'd been on my fingers for more than four years since Matty had put them there. And I loved him, I truly did. Sophia was the best thing he had given me and when he died, I didn't think I could bare it. But at 25, I had so many more years ahead and I couldn't be defined by what I'd lost, I wanted to search for more happiness.

"Just a moment please," I said to the nail technician and reaching down, took my rings off my left hand, moving them to my right. I wasn't ready to take them off for good but it felt like I was ready for a little change. The weight felt differently on the other hand and my left ring finger felt naked, indents left behind from wearing them for so long. But I could handle small changes if I took it at the right speed. "I'll have the light pink one please," pointing to the colour I'd picked, ready for some pretty nails, ready for tomorrow.