I woke up with a start as I dropped the book onto the floor. I'd always wanted wooden floors in my room, it looked so swish in magazines. In reality, the splinters were a nightmare, especially seeing as the Doctor, in either incarnation, was hardly handy with a sheet of sandpaper. And then there was the noise element; anything that moved on it sounded like a herd of elephants. Especially me in my newest pair of shoes. He, of course, couldn't resist joking about them.
"You sound like you're taking up tap dancing!" he'd exclaimed when he could finally catch his breath from laughing.
"They're cute!" They were as well. They'd cost a packet, all of the cash Mum had given me for my birthday.
"You can barely walk in them! How are you going to run from anything in them?"
I'd nearly lost my temper then. "Life isn't always about running from things you know!" I'd retorted and stumbled away to admire my shoes in private.
That was the problem though. Life with the Doctor was always running from something or someone or somewhere. Even in my dreams, I had been running, only I was wearing those stupid shoes that had given me the biggest blisters and were now mocking me from their box on the floor, and the monster had caught up with me. The Doctor is worth the monsters. Yeah, but nothing's worth getting eaten by one of them.
This had been happening more and more recently. After the dreams about the old Doctor (my Doctor, I still thought privately) had come these. Dreams where something was chasing me through the darkness and I was running blindly into the light. I couldn't see where I was going and I couldn't see what was chasing me. This wasn't the first time I'd been too slow; luckily I always woke up before the conclusion of the dream.
I grimaced at the book on the floor. All your fault, I thought crossly. That book was full of murder and intrigue and running. No wonder I was having nightmares. Yes, because you couldn't possibly be having nightmares about your life, could you?
The TARDIS was humming at her usual level. It was reassuring, but I wanted more than that tonight. I remembered when I was a kid and I had nightmares that my mum had always come in and sat with me until I fell asleep. I wanted her tonight, stroking my hair, telling me comforting stories. My absolute favourite one was about how her and dad had met. I could never get enough of that one and she'd grown tired of telling it. Or maybe it hurt too much…
I slipped out of bed carefully, and stepped across the debris on my bedroom floor. It was well overdue for a tidying. I just hadn't had time lately. I winced as I trod on something… the ring pull off a Diet Coke can… yes, definitely time for a clear out. But not at this time of night.
The control room was empty. Obviously he must have finished repairing the TARDIS; that was why she was humming so contentedly. Even now the room astounded me. It was stunning with all the levers and buttons that I didn't understand and probably never would. The vortex was as beautiful as ever. But it was lonely in that room. I'd hoped to find him there, pottering around in his long coat and trainers, glasses on top of his head likely as not. We could have sat up and talked about things for a bit; he'd have even wilder stories than my mum could ever have told me. Not necessarily more comforting stories, but certainly more fantastical. But he wasn't here.
I considered turning back to my room and trying to go back to sleep. But suddenly my room, my cosy room on board the TARDIS, that I'd spent so long decorating and rearranging… it seemed like a prison, like something trying to trap me. I couldn't explain those feelings; I just knew deep down that going back into that room tonight would send me back into exactly the same nightmare. Possibly something even worse.
I hesitated in the control room, my hand resting on the side. There were a million things I could do on board the TARDIS, all without waking him up. There was the games room at one end, and the TV room up another… I could watch The Breakfast Club for the hundredth time, all without him even knowing. But that same feeling was telling me that the only place I'd find any rest tonight was if I walked down the left hand corridor and went into the third door on the left…