Hey! Yet another sad ONESHOT... This one of Ryou and Ichigo, it may be a little confusing but I'm sure you'll catch on!
Disclaimer: I don't own TMM but I do own this ONESHOT. So if you copy me I'll... I'll, I'll do something mean to, to... Your cat! Yeah!
Forever and…
Stupid. I was stupid. I gave up my life, my friends all for him, my Masaya wouldn't ask me to give those things up. That's not the man I loved. Maybe I never did, just got too carried away with a crush…
Thinking it was the real thing.
Now I'm trapped.
I moved back to Tokyo, just for a summer escape from the hellhole that was my life for a couple months, hang out with my friends… At least that's what I wanted to do.
Zakuro is out touring the whole freaking world. Mint is too; they're both too busy being famous to care anymore.
Lettuce lives in the country, she a marine biologist, and she loves her work so much she never stops working.
I don't know what happened to Pudding, she just disappeared.
I guess she needed to escape as well.
So much happened in thirteen years…
So much went wrong.
I first found Ryou after I had been in the city for two weeks.
He was sitting on a park bench and it was mid night, I couldn't sleep so I had gone out for a walk, only to find him there, beer bottle in hand.
That was when I knew something was wrong.
Ryou never drank beer, not the Ryou I knew.
After that I went to see him in his favorite bar every night, just to see a familiar face. He told me many things while drunk. He would tell me many stories he had heard from the drunken men around him.
And he'd always tell me how beautiful I was that night.
And every time I saw him I'd ask him why.
Why did he do this to himself?
He'd never answer, but a tear would slip down one cheek each time.
It was a Saturday, guaranteed to be packed at the bar tonight. I pulled on a tube shaped pink dress, heels and let my hair hang lose. I hated walking down the streets that led to the bar, littered with thieves and hookers, but it was worth it. Just to see him actually smile every time I walked in.
As usual Ryou had beaten me to the bar, he always did. He leaned over the counter, staring at the floor. I walked over and sat next to him on a stool.
He looked up and smiled at me. His blue eyes were dilated by the alcohol, making them bigger more pure. I smiled back at him. He straightened a bit to yell to the bartender, "Four large ones!" He yelled then looked back at me, "And tea." He said with a grimace.
It was an age-old argument.
Ryou would ask me why I wouldn't even take a sip of beer, I couldn't, then everything would be different, for sure. Ryou being drunk was bad enough, I couldn't stoop to his level of drinking, then I'd know for sure that everything had changed, I knew it already, but was still fooling myself, pretending that my friends would return one day and we'd be together again.
Forever and always. Forever and always.
As Ryou sipped his bottle of beer I stirred the tea slowly with my finger. We sat together, chatting and joking lightly. His blonde hair had used to be so neat, in Ryou's own way, and clean. No longer. It hung in matted and dirty clumps, greasy some days, and cleaner on other days.
He just didn't care much anymore.
Back when I was twelve…Ryou. Purin. Zakuro. Lettuce. Mint. Keiichiro. Megan. Mimi. Wait… Keiichiro what ever happened to him?
I waited until he had finished his second bottle, hoping he'd be drunk enough to answer me.
"Ryou?" I asked gently, as if speaking to a kitten hiding under a bed, "What happened to Keiichiro?"
Ryou said nothing then slammed the bottle down onto the counter.
"He's dead Ichigo," He told me shortly, his voice raspy.
No. Please tell me you're lying. Please!
"I-I'm sorry Ryou," I say instead. He rested his head on the counter, cushioned by his arms. I figured that was all he was going to say so I stood to leave.
"He died just after you left," He tells me softer, I stop as I'm getting up, "There was a train wreck. He was on the train." Tears well up in my eyes, I was hoping at least Keiichiro was still around, a part of my past.
But he was an even bigger part of Ryou's past.
He had raised him. They were so close, so much closer than I would ever be to Masaya. No matter what happened, Ryou would always be close to Keiichiro.
Forever and always. Forever and always.
"I'm sorry Ryou," I tell him, sitting back down on the stool. He murmurs something, starting low then getting louder, picking up the melody like he had long forgotten it. That old song? He actually still remembers it…
"I'm not what you think I am. I'm nothing but, the picture you've taken. If I decide to touch the sky, don't bring me down…" He sung, slowly, as if trying to remember all of it at once. When he paused after that I started to sing the next line, softly he joined in,
"I need to fly, and I'd like to know… Do you believe? Will you believe? Did you ever believe in me?" We sing louder, getting glares from other patrons near by, "Something's out there waiting, someone out there knows the score…" Sure I squeak on the high notes but that doesn't stop us. We sing so loud everyone in the bar turns to look at us. But we don't stop. We continue on to the end of the song.
"…Did you ever believe in me?" Our voices fade away on the last note.
It was Ryou's favorite song, and probably will always be.
He used to sing it when he thought we weren't around. His voice soft and strong rising to the exact right height then down just as low as it did in the song. We'd sit outside the room, just to hear his wonderful voice.
Now his wonderful voice was coming back, this was the Ryou I knew.
I always… Hated. Damn it. Why did I always get so mad at him?
Because he was so infuriating. I now know that was a façade; he had loved me, despite Masaya. Now he doesn't care if I know or don't. Ryou never cared about what people say. If you told him no one could fly he'd tell you about Mint. If you said there were no such things as mermaids he'd tell you about Lettuce. He saw none of the barriers I did. He was his own law. He'd do what he wanted to. No one could stop him.
No one would try.
"Ryou I should go now," I tell him before he'd try to capture my heart again.
Silly Ryou. He already had.
Ryou nodded dimly, staring at his beer bottle, "So much has gone wrong…" His voice drifts off as he stares at the beer, "Why?"
I can't answer his question. I just pat him on the shoulder and leave.
Sunday night.
Dark pink low V-neck sweater, black skirt and boots. Simple.
Hey it was cold for August. Maybe the fact that it was his favorite month would cheer him up, or remind him of all the things that are screwed up in his life. Yet again Elliot beat me to the bar, I let him win our little race.
I sipped my tea slowly, watching Ryou chug down two bottles, followed by another.
"So much has gone wrong… Everything has gone wrong." Ryou sighed,
"No longer do I know them, no longer do I see them…"
Ryou… Don't give up! That's not the Ryou I know.
That's not the Ryou I love…
"Ryou it's going to be okay," I tell him.
Yeah. Right. What a lie.
"Really? I can't believe that. Not when everything has gone completely wrong… Nothing makes sense anymore…" He said sadly. I gulp down tears, disguised by drinking a gulp of hot tea.
"I love you Ichigo…" He murmured.
I love you too.
"Yes, I know," I said instead.
"Long before this all happened… I always did." He told me sadly.
Me too. I'll love you forever.
Forever and always. Forever and Always…
"Why don't you have a drink?" Ryou asked me.
"Maybe another time Ryou,"
"Why? You're the last person I'd think wouldn't see alcohol as a poison, why not just one sip?"
Because one leads to more…
"No Ry-Ry Not tonight." I said firmly. He laughed hoarsely,
"You know how much I hated to be called that?" He asked me, smiling, "It's nice to hear a bit of the past. Before things went so wrong…"
No Ryou don't give up! Don't give up…
I smiled at him, "It's okay, things will get better, you'll see," I tell him,
"I promise you." He smiled faintly. He knows how determined I can be to help a friend, but I try even harder when it's the man I love. Truly love.
But what can you do to help someone who's dead?
"Thank you," Ryou said, "But it's too late for me now."
If I had been twelve I would have jumped to my feet and say that it was never too late then I'd formulate a plan.
But I wasn't twelve. I was twenty-five and this was Ryou. My Ryou.
"It's not too late," I tell him gently, patting him on the shoulder, "Don't give up Ry-Ry."
That coaxed a laugh from him.
"I love you Ichigo…" He sighed.
I love you Ryou.
"I know." I replied softly.
"If only if only…" Ryou sighed again and finished off his fourth bottle of beer. I watch him sadly.
So much has gone wrong…
He's lost so much, there's nothing left but an empty shell.
He died when Keiichiro did. He gave up when I left and he suffered when everyone else left as well. There's nothing left. And I miss Ryou.
Even though he's right in front of me, it isn't him.
It's not the Ryou I love.
It's not…
Monday.
The bar's going to be almost empty, but I know Ryou will be there.
But not entirely.
Tonight I wore a pink T-shirt, and a blue skirt. Silver earrings hung from my earlobes, and silver bangles shimmered on my wrist.
This was my last week in Tokyo.
Ryou sat at his usual place, a half drain bottle of beer was in front of him, and another empty one lay on the floor beneath his stool. I sat next to him and we sat together in silence.
After thirty minutes of quiet I laid my hand on his shoulder.
"Ryou?" My love, I wanted to add, "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" He repeated dimly, "Oh, that'd be my life. Why did everything go this way? Nothing is the way it's supposed to be. I'm not some child who expected us to be together forever, but it wasn't suppose to go this way. Keiichiro's dead, Mint and Zakuro went back to being snobs, Lettuce is fine but too absorbed in her work to care about anything, and Pudding just disappeared. It isn't supposed to be this way."
I thought we'd be together forever. Stupid. Childish.
"Ryou…" My love, "Don't give up, things will be okay, they still care."
"So that's why they've kept contact huh?"
Thank god he's kept his sarcasm, if he hadn't I'd be afraid Ryou really is gone.
Forever and always. Forever and…
"Ryou," I place a hand on his shoulder, he shrugs it off.
"Nothing is right. Nothing is the way things are suppose to be." He tells me. He stood abruptly, "Good bye, Ichigo, forever."
No. Don't give up hope my love. Don't give up.
"I love you Ichigo, I always will."
I love you Ryou.
Forever and always. Forever…
"I know." That's all I say.
Stupid.
Don't give up hope, please! I love you!
"Ryou…" I search for words. He swooped in and kissed me hard and passionately, "Good bye forever." He said and turned to leave.
Do something Ichigo.
Say something Ichigo.
Elliot's out the door and gone.
I know he'll never come back.
Three days later I stand in a graveyard. Staring at his cold and lifeless body.
Behind me I hear someone walking up.
A hand lands on my shoulder.
Pudding's back.
I turn. She's now a teenager. Behind her I see a black car drive up in the gravel driveway. Lettuce steps out. The only reason I know it's her is from her green hair.
A black limo arrives, followed by another.
Mint and Zakuro step out.
Everyone is wearing black. My friends come to stand beside me.
I can remember when we were so close we were practically one person but… Now we are six. I don't know the people I look at now.
Ryou wasn't the Ryou I knew.
But I still love him. And always will
Forever and… Forever…
He's free now; he'll never talk to me over the bar counter again.
He'll never hear the words I should have said.
Tonight is the night I'm going to say those words to him.
I would be with him.
He'll never be back, but now I'm going where he is.
And we'll be together.
Forever... Forever…
I love you Ryou. I always will.
I kneel in front of him.
"Bury us together," I tell my friends behind me, "We should have been together. Now we will."
Pudding takes a step forward, Mint grips her arm and shakes her head, Lettuce looks like she was going to protests, but Zakuro placed a hand on her shoulder and shakes her head as well.
I love you Ryou.
I pull a dagger from my black coat. I pull off the coat and look over my shoulder at my friends, "We used to be the best of friends. But not anymore." I told them sadly, they all nod, Lettuce and Pudding hesitate.
They know. I know it.
I turn back to Ryou.
"Ryou. I love you. I guess I always did. I never said it but we'll be together in death. Look out cause I'm joining you now."
It might have been the light but I swore I saw a smile tugging at his lips.
"I love you!" I tell him finally, even as I died.
We'll be together.
Forever and always. Forever and always. Forever and…
Always.