A/N: (Sneaks chapter in) Uh... yeah.
Chapter 9 "Explain to me this…"
Jake was dead. The poor fat slug did not make it through the four days of neglection. Raistlin picked up his creation and flushed it down the toilet like a dead goldfish. Or, I mean, put it in the chamber pot…? I don't know. The gnomes are still fixing the kinks of indoor plumbing. Which, by the way, is going to be real big in a couple of years. Just you watch… It will be. No one will be able to live without it. Indoor plumbing is something special, all right.
Raistlin was on his hands and knees, inscribing runes on the smooth stone floor with a piece of chalk. Dalamar stood not too far behind, reading over his Shalafi's notes. This the first time Raistlin had allowed Dalamar to help out with the experiments for creating life. Normally the dark elf would be standing on the sidelines, observing.
"You know, we elves have a belief about how life is created," Dalamar said conversationally, flicking through a book. He scanned the pages and placed it back down on the cluttered table. Raistlin paused briefly, rubbing the chalk against his fingers.
"Do tell," he said, mildly interested, "I haven't researched much about elves, perhaps their philosophy might contain a clue…"
Dalamar started.
"You… want me… to explain all that?"
Raistlin mentally sighed. Oh yes, he had forgotten how long and confusing the so-called philosophy of elves were. Especially on something imported such as the Creation of Life.
"Condensed version, please."
Dalamar nodded. He took a moment to reorganized his thoughts and began the shortened interpretation.
"You see, when a daddy elf and a mommy elf love each other veerrrrry much…" Dalamar began awkwardly.
"Funny. That's how I learned it too," Raistlin rolled his eyes, "Stop. Apprentice, that is not what I meant."
Dalamar snapped his mouth shut, looking very much relieved.
"My goal is to be able to create Life without the male and female interaction, information like that is probably irrelevant." Raistlin said, going back to his chalk drawings.
Dalamar paled. He started to back away.
"Umm, I don't think my body is ready for that kind of submission," Dalamar twiddled his thumbs, "I mean, I like you and all, but not that kind of like-like. And frankly, I don't think I'm mentally stable for this… I mean, there's got to be a reason why it has to be between a man and a woman, not man and another ma-"
Raistlin dropped his piece of chalk. He gaped at Dalamar.
Dalamar caught the look and blinked.
"Ohh, you meant-" he said, "Which is funny, because I thought… you know… when you said the bit about creating life without female and male interaction… Just scared me."
o0o
After a few more moments of silence and obeying many sharp commands , Dalamar was easily back on Raistlin's good side again. Soon the two were busy preparing the necessary things for their new experiment.
"It's really just like making a cake, isn't it?" Dalamar asked, stirring a giant cauldron with a ladle over a fire.
"No," Raistlin said flatly, grinding up a patch of herbs. He wasn't about it admit how easy it was to create a living thing, even if it did take the form of a slug. To be honest, it was exactly like baking a cake.
Dalamar still couldn't believe it. All it took was a little flour, some weeds, a few life-giving spells, various body parts, blood… and poof! You got yourself a little slug-like being. He just did not get how this soupy liquid could turn itself into something living. Meanwhile Raistlin hadn't been much of a help either. The archmage had a vague and distracted look about his face as he sat of his stool, grinding up herbs with a stone roller. The dark elf had to snap his master back into attention many times before he finally gave up and took over the whole project. Even Raistlin had seemed to given up on himself and was now staring idly out the window. Dalamar knew that this wasn't the musing his master usually did. It wasn't the brooding or scheming quietness he knew. It was more of...
... lovesick.
Dalamar fought down a gag. Lovesick? He did not know where he came up with that. The elf was a bit on the romantic side, but certainly not too far down there. Checking back a sigh, he placed the mixture in the middle of Raistlin's chalk drawing design. There was nothing more to do except say the magic incantation. For that, Dalamar needed Raistlin. The words of the spell were still to complex for him to read much to his dismay.
However, before Dalamar got the nerve to ask the daydreaming evil wizard, a cold chill ran up his spine. The elf leaped three feet into the air, almost smearing the chalk from the floor. Quick as a mouse, his silver eyes glanced about the room.
"Fairy!" Dalamar screamed and pointed.
The sudden random outburst managed to get Raistlin's attention. He pulled away from the window to glare at Dalamar.
"Dalamar, that's your index finger, not a fairy."
"No, Shalafi, I'm pointing to it with my index finger!"
Even with the plausible explanation, Raistlin was still skeptical. Obviously, the archmagus did not have the ability of see fairies. All he saw was his crazed apprentice pointing at their coat rack in the corner.
"You tried to read my spell books again," Raistlin accused with a dark frown. The elf's eyes widen and he drop his hand to his side, shaking his head furiously.
"No... I-... It's over there-" Dalamar tried to explain helplessly but Raistlin had enough.
"Dalamar, if you wanted my attention, you should've just asked," he snapped, standing up. He strode over to the large laboratory table and started flipping through his large spell book. Ignoring the protesting elf, Raistlin went on citing the spell and hoped that Dalamar had the sense to pay attention. Sure enough, Dalamar became quiet, forgetting the nonsense about fairies. A crazy, but attentive and semi-loyal apprentice to heart.
Raistlin continued with the chant. The chalk circle lit with an eerie green glow...
o0o
The W.U.S.S. Fairy carefully edged his way on the laboratory table. After spending some time in the coat rack, he desperately wanted a better place to hide. Not only that, but the toaster was nearby. The W.U.S.S. Fariy would have to deal with it and now seemed like the perfect time. He didn't like the way it was getting close to Dalamar. It was freakish, a thing of some other universe. It was unnatural and it had to be destroyed. Lunitari was crazy to have brought it here.
With Dalamar and Raistlin distracted by the green glow of the circle, W.U.S.S. took his chance. His grabbed the toaster's black cord, trying to drag it away from the scene. However, the task would've been quite easier if the fairy hadn't been grabbed himself. He gave a surprised squeal.
"Gotcha," smirked Dalamar, dangling the poor fairy by the wings.
o0o
Dalamar wasn't crazy. He knew he wasn't. So when he saw the fairy so near the toaster against the light of the green glow, he knew he wasn't crazy.
Not at all.
Cursing under his breath, the elf moved as silently as he could. Much to his relief the fairy hadn't disappeared the moment he blinked, which proved that he wasn't hallucinating. He couldn't believe how easy it was to simply reach over and yank the fairy into the air.
However, the problem came when the fairy gave a shriek and swung the toaster by its tail at him. Dalamar had no choice but to take cover. Letting go of the winged devil, he ducked. He felt the toaster whoosh by and it was one of those moments that were made to be seen in slow motion.
The toaster flew through the air, narrowly missing Raistlin's head. In a graceful ark, it landed beautifully in the heart of the archmagus' spell. There was a brilliant red flash and then there was Raistlin, looking furious.
"What have you done?" he shouted right before the explosion.
And then the world went black.
o0o
The laboratory was not a mess... unless you considered two bundles of black robes on the floor to be one. One of the bundles groaned out loud and slowly rose up.
Dalamar took a look about his person, surprised to find himself healthy and not in pain. The explosion had been quite a doozy and yet here he was... alive. He looked down at Raistlin and almost wished that the same could not be said for his master. Taking advantage of Raistlin's unconscious state, Dalamar scooted away and braced himself for a lecture or a fireball spell. Meanwhile, he took another look around the room, finding the place exactly as he had last seen it... not in shambles. Actually, it cleaner than before. Dalamar's brows started to furrow but was too busy in the process of shooting up in disbelief with what he saw next.
In the middle of the room, rocking back and forth like a wild animal waiting to pounce was the toaster. The elf took a step closer and was rewarded by the sight of the kitchen appliance flicking its black cord like a tail. It shuddered and rattled. Somehow, Dalamar thought it almost sounded like a growl.
"Bloody Abyss, what is that?" asked Raistlin from his crouched position on the floor. Dalamar dared not whisper back. The toaster was taking baby steps closer to the two evil mages. It had a menacing demeanor or pure malice.
Raistlin looked at Dalamar.
Dalamar looked at Raistlin.
The toaster looked at neither of them since it lacked eyes but even if it did, it wouldn't have been looking at them.
It sprang into action, lever moving wildly up and down. It zipped passed the two mages, pouncing at a certain spot on the ground.
"The fairy!" Dalamar exclaimed.
"I thought you said it was a toaster," Raistlin said, confused.
"No-," began Dalamar, but then shook his head, "Nevermind!"
The elf watched the amazing spectacle as the toaster wrestled with the fairy. The outcome of the battle was fairly obvious. The Fairy was squealing bloody murder as the toaster merciless body slammed it several times. Finally the fairy pulled away, wings shriveled and bent. He looked at Dalamar pleadingly but when it got no response, it poofed away in a twinkle of stars.
Being the victor of the fight, the toaster clicked its lever proudly and trotted towards Dalamar. The dark elf was rendered speechless as it stopped at his feet and sat there constantly.
"Wow."
"Strange. It seems to be attached with you," Raistlin said, attempting to sound calm despite his disability to see what actually happened.
"We gave life to the toaster," said Dalamar, collecting his thoughts. He picked it up and the toaster wiggled happily, wrapping its tail around Dalamar's arm.
"Hm... meaning we have the power to insert 'life' into objects..." Raistlin mused.
Dalamar nodded, "What a breakthrough! Now aren't you glad that we took some time off from that gully dwar-"
He was interrupted by a bell that echoed throughout the tower. The elf frowned, turning to Raistlin... but the archmage was already out the laboratory door, smiling to himself.
"Finally, she's back! I was worried that she might have gotten lost-" he was saying to himself.
Bupu was back.
The toaster's coils turned red hot, sizzling the air itself. Dalamar metaphorically fumed likewise.
End Chapter 9
Review please!