Chapter 39

Marley POV

Sophia had fallen asleep in the car on the way back to the hotel, slept as we carried her up in the elevator and woken up almost as soon as we were back in the hotel. This put an end to any plans Tae and I had alone together while she slept and I was feeling it.

"Sorry hun," I said as she bounced around the room and he laughed.

"She's delightful and it just means I have more to look forward to later. In the meantime, we could go to the pool again since she seems to love that and we have the restaurant booked ready for an early dinner. Is that OK?"

"I love that you just roll with whatever happens," I said, kissing him.

"With kids, you have to, right?" and I nodded, heading to the bedroom to grab our swimming costume.

After another private pool session, the four of us got ready for dinner. It was booked for a roof top restaurant that was only available in the Summer and sounded amazing. Apparently a few of these restaurants popped up at certain times of the year and I didn't ask how he had secured a booking at such short notice, assuming a sum of money had been involved.

Ji-ho had been surprised to be included, insisting that he could just wait for us by the door at the top and I'd insisted that since Sophia was coming too, that I wanted to have him there. "She needs to be comfortable with you so we can maybe have you babysit tomorrow night?" He'd nodded his acceptance, bowing a thank you and Tae had winked at me when Ji-ho wasn't looking. He knew that it bothered me that Ji-ho was in fact paid to be there and had his meals by himself even though Tae considered him like a brother. Including him made me feel a little better about the whole situation and I hadn't lied, I did think getting to know Sophia would make the rest of the trip easier for us all.

Now Tae was explaining the restaurant as we drove there. "It looks beautiful. There is no menu, they just bring food to you. There is a garden up there and a view across the whole city. This one is on top of a hotel a few blocks from here so it will be easy for us. Someone is meeting us at the car and taking us from the carpark, straight up to the rooftop."

"It sounds amazing. I guess there are sides up there, Sophia does run and that sounds a little scary."

"Sophia likes to run," she piped up and I smiled.

"Yes, exactly," I said.

"It does, tall glass railing so you can see through but be safe," and I nodded, relieved.

Everything had gone smoothly. We were met, escorted up, oohed and ahhed over the view, were seated and told that the food would be there momentarily as they didn't have to wait for us to order and had already been preparing our meal. Sophia had a set of colouring things at her place and a kids chair so she felt special as she scribbled on the paper. Ji-ho was seated next to her and drew a dog for her and then, at her request, a bear. That was all it took for them to be friends.

Tae and I took a moment to walk over to the edge while she was happy and before the food arrived. He hugged me close as we looked across the city. You could see Yoyogi Park from here far in the distance, lots of high rise buildings and the river as it wound through the city. I sank against him, breathing in the fresh air, Summer heat cooling a little as the day drew towards it's close.

Taking out his phone, Tae snapped some photos of the scenery then of the two of us together. "I'm loving making new memories with you baby."

"Can this never end?" I asked, dreamily captivated by the moment and then I swallowed, again realising how easy it was to slip into that way of talking.

"That's my plan," he whispered into my ear and I shivered from the feeling of his words and his breath against my ear. His arms were around my shoulders as he hugged me tightly against himself and I wrapped my arms on top of his, gazing into the distance together.

We were back at the hotel, getting Sophia ready for bed after a beautiful meal that left us all full and content. Sophia had just had her bedtime story, read by Tae of course, and had her last round of goodnight kisses when loud noises startled us all. "Sounds like fireworks," I said, walking to the curtains and pulling them open. The sky lit up and we had a view across the city to where one of the Summer Festivals were finishing their performance off with an array of colours.

"Oh, pretty," Sophia said, climbing out of the bed and racing to press herself against the window panes. Tae picked her up and I came up behind them, wrapping my arms around them both, resting my chin on his shoulder. He leaned back on me as we watched, resting his back against my chest, holding tightly to my daughter.

As the last of the fireworks faded away, he put Sophia down and turned into my embrace, hands wrapping around my face, kissing me fully and thoroughly. He'd always been reserved about showing too much intimacy in front of her but he wasn't concerned in that moment. I was unsure what had changed but I didn't mind, the city spread out through the open curtains, the lights of the buildings sparkling far below us, our mouths talking a different kind of language.

"I thirsty," Sophia said, clutching the bottom of my top.

"Just a minute baby," I said, pressing another few kisses to his lips, sealing the promise of more to come later.

"I am so in love with you," Tae breathed into my ear and I closed my eyes to centre myself as my insides churned at his words. We pulled away from each other and he walked towards the kitchen.

"I'll grab her some water and then wait in the lounge for you," he said and I blew him a kiss as he smiled, disappearing out the door.

"Jump back into bed Sophia Bug," I said and she rubbed her eyes, grabbing Tinky round his scrawny neck and crawling under the covers. Tae came back with a bottle and she had a few sips, handing it back.

"Love you Mama, love you TaeTae," she said and Tae paused mid-stride, eyes blinking quickly.

"Love you too BugBug," he replied, holding his hand to his heart before mouthing "OMG," to me as he left the room. I smiled, that caught me off guard too but Sophia was definitely becoming very fond of Tae and I didn't blame her.

"Night beautiful girl," I said, placing another kiss on her forehead and smoothing down her curls. "I'll see you in the morning."

"OK mama," she said, curling onto her side, eyes already closing from our busy day.

"You OK?" I asked Tae. He was in the corner of the couch and held out his hand, tugging me down next to him.

"I was very surprised by Sophia saying that. It made my heart spin. Almost as much as when you first said it to me. Is that strange?"

"I think you both care a lot about each other."

"Just like you, she is one of the most important people in my life now Marley."

"That makes me feel incredibly happy," I replied, kissing his cheek.

"I'd like to buy you a phone," Tae said out of the blue.

"That's definitely not necessary oppa," I replied, tipping my head to look at him.

"Well, your one cut out when you were surprising me, I think it's something I want to do for both of us to be happy for sure," he answered, twisting his lips together.

"I can buy my own, I just haven't had time to think about it."

"Do you have a problem with the cost of it, me spending money on it for you?" he asked.

"A little bit, or a lot really. It just doesn't seem necessary."

"Would it help if I tell you I get them for free, they give them to us all the time, we are brand ambassadors."

I thought about it. "That helps a little I guess." I sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure why it bothers me."

"We've not really talked about my money," he said, taking my hand and linking our fingers together as he pulled me against him.

"That's because it's not important to me," I answered, giving his hand a squeeze.

"It is to me though, I need you to know you will always have everything you want or need. Both you and Sophia."

"You don't need to buy me things all the time Tae to prove that you love me. You've told me, I can feel it. Sophia and I will be OK."

"I know that and I'm glad you can feel that I love you. But I buy expensive things because it's important to me. I wasn't able to at the start of the band and we fought to get to this point. Sometimes I buy things just because I can. Maybe I'm still proving to myself that I earned it."

"I guess it makes sense but I still don't really understand that part of your world. To me, a bag is just a bag."

He grimaced at my words, pointing at the bag he'd travelled on the plane with. "That bag cost $12,000."

"What? That's an obscene amount of money!" When I could tell he didn't know the word, I explained, disbelief in my tone. "It means over the top, wasteful. That really makes no sense to me, to spend that much money on something like a bag."

"But don't you want to dress nicely?"

I froze. "As opposed to what I wear now?" I said, each word pronounced very precisely as his eyes grew big.

"That's not what I meant! You know I think you're beautiful in whatever you wear but my world is different from yours and when you're with me, there will be some times you have to dress a certain way."

"Special occasions I understand but not going to the supermarket, or to the movies. I don't care if my top cost $20."

"But I do because I can afford for you to wear the best."

I gritted my teeth. "Just because you can afford the best still doesn't mean to say I want to wear the best. Some of it is very over the top and not me at all. I'm not changing that about myself Taehyung."

There was silence and I reached for my bottle of water, feeling the tension in the room. Tae didn't seem to know what to do with his hands anymore and stood up, walking to the kitchen area. "Do you want me to make you a hot drink Marley?" he asked quietly. I shook my head. "Do you want anything to eat?" I shook my head again as he fidgeted on the spot.

Sighing he walked back over. "Can I sleep next to you tonight or should I sleep on the sofa," he asked softly, coming to sit next to me, a small distance away so our bodies weren't touching.

I slid closer so our legs rested against each other and sighed. "An argument doesn't mean I don't want you, I just need to work through this in my head. I can't feel like you're trying to buy things in order to change me, I'll never be that person that fits into the mold you're used to."

"I don't want to change you Marley. I just want you to know that you have the world at your fingertips now so you can afford the best of everything. And I want to give it to you."

"It's OK Tae, I know you want to take care of me, of us. You have so much more to give me than money and that's what I appreciate the most about you. Yes, the money has been helpful to help us see each other but you have to know, I don't care about that part."

"I'll try to be careful with how I deal with money things around us. I don't want it to come between us jagiya," he said, gently pressing a kiss to my nose.

"I guess it's a big subject, you've earned it," I answered, snuggling close.

"We have worked hard and we should never have to worry about money again. But it can be overwhelming, I'm sorry."

"It's not mine, it's yours. And you're very generous but I earn my own money now and I think I always want it to be that way. I think I'll always want to work."

"So, I can't get you things if I think you'll like them?" he asked, his brow wrinkling as he frowned a little.

"It always comes from a place of love, I get that. I just find it hard to accept anything that seems over the top. I only ever want or need little things."

"You deserve it all Marley. I want to give you it all but I will try to be thoughtful with what I choose for you. And I will get a phone for you."

I kissed him then, silencing and stopping the discussion. I didn't want anymore talk about it even though I was sure it would come up again. And I needed to work out why it was making me feel annoyed because I knew he didn't mean it to control or buy me. "Let it go Marley," I told myself. "Shall we watch a movie?" I asked and he smiled, seeming to relax a little, his shoulders had been tense and they came down as we searched the TV for something to watch, snuggling together.

That night felt a little reserved as we climbed into bed. We were more cautious with our touches, there was cuddling and lots of kisses but we both knew any other intimacy was off the table in that moment. It wasn't that I was grumpy or still even that upset. My mind was just ticking over more than normal and he seemed to sense that. It had highlighted again how different we were and I couldn't get out of my head.

Waking sometime in the early hours, I listened to his steady breathing next to me before realising I wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon. Grabbing an oversized sweatshirt, creeping out of the bedroom into the lounge. I ended up making myself a cup of tea then curled up on the couch, tucking my legs up inside the sweatshirt. Wrapping hands on both sides of the mug, I let the heat soak into my skin and through my body as I rested my head on the arm of the couch.

Being here with him again and our conversation last night had set my mind going. About the future and possibilities, especially after seeing him play with Sophia. I also couldn't help but think about the complications of a long distance relationship. My independence and desire to not be locked into his wealth and how it might change us was also playing over and over.

My eyes were closed as I thought for a few minutes but I heard the door open to our room and the couch sagged under him as he sat down beside me.

"I woke and it was cold next to me," he said quietly, kissing my cheek and pulling my legs onto his lap. Rubbing them, he watched as I readjusted my body, getting comfortable as I stretched out. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Too many things go around in my head," I answered, putting the mug down and reaching for his hand. I needed his touch, the closeness of his fingers matching mine.

"What are you thinking?"

"About us, about life, I have questions for you, so many."

"If asking some will help you sleep, ask away," he said, continuing to rub my legs in long, comforting movements.

"Will we work?" Why not start with the big ones right?

"Yes," he answered, kissing my knuckles.

"That was a quick answer. It's just that simple?"

"Not simple but yes, a quick answer as it's an easy answer. It can work for us and I want it to. Do you?"

"I do," my answer, also quick. "I'm just scared."

"I know, it doesn't need to be fast. We can take our time, we're still getting to know lots about each other."

"My feelings were fast and that's part of what scares me. How quickly you have invaded every part of me."

His eyes grew big but I ploughed on with another question, not wanting to acknowledge how vulnerable that made me feel saying it out loud. "Tell me about military service."

"What would you like to know?" he asked, settling back on the couch, rubbing my hand with his other thumb where they were linked together..

"How long is it for? Which will you do? I read there might be some kind of exemption for you?"

"Well, it's 18 to 26 months depending what you do. Jungkook and I have talked for a long time about going in together, I think it will be the Army, that makes sense given our fans name," he said with a small smile.

"And the exemption," I asked again. I was selfishly wishing that they would pass the law saying the band had given enough to their country already.

"No, even if they pass the exemption, I will still go."

"Why? I don't understand, I guess, we don't have it in our country so it doesn't make sense to me."

"We are raised knowing we must do it. It is my pride, I will serve for my country." He looked very earnest when he was telling me but all I could think about was, what about us?

"So when?"

"That is something I don't know. I have another few years before I must go but maybe sooner would be better. I know it would suit Kook to do it now while he's single."

I climbed onto his lap and he rubbed my back, as I leaned in to rest my head on his shoulder. "But not too soon? We need more time." I sounded pitiful and bratty but I meant it, I'd only just met him and I didn't want him to leave from my world so soon and for so long.

He shifted so our lips could meet, surrendering for a moment to the fire that constantly seemed to be burning between us and that had been stifled earlier in the evening. "Not yet, I need to be with you too much. And Marley, you've invaded all parts of me too." His hands sunk into my hair, both of us drawing breath before we joined our mouths again. After a few minutes, I stood, pulling him up off the couch.

"Lets go back to bed oppa, I need you," I said softly and he blinked slowly, nodding his head as he followed my movements, back towards the bedroom.

I was shaken gently, coming awake to find Tae looking down at me, his forehead furrowed in concern as I blinked at him. "Are you OK nae sarang?"

Rubbing my eyes, they came away wet and I looked down at my hand in confusion, my heart beating quickly.

"You were crying in your sleep again baby, do you remember what you were dreaming about?"

I sat up, mouth feeling dry as I nodded, reaching for the my water bottle, having a drink as I processed the movie that had been playing out in my dream, my heartbeat still fast. He rubbed my back as the words fell from my mouth, tripping over each other. "There was a familiar car and I could see it heading down the road. Another car was coming fast and I knew, I could just tell, they were going to crash. It was just like what happened to Matty but Tae, you were in the car not him and I knew I was going to lose you too." He slid to wrap me in his arms as I leaned against him for support, the fear in my dream feeling so real. "I can't Tae, I can't lose you too!"

"Shhhhh, it's OK baby, that's not going to happen."

"When you go away to do your military service, it will be so long."

"It will be difficult but it won't change how we feel about each other. And I'll be fine, you won't lose me then either."

I buried my tear filled face into his chest and let him rub my back, rub away the feelings clutching my heart that were causing it to beat quickly in fear and gradually it began to slow. His face was against my head and I heard him murmur, lifting my head to hear him. "Do you think that's why you've been crying in your sleep sometimes?"

"Maybe. It could be the same dream or something similar each time. It felt very real."

"I need to keep telling you I'm not going anywhere, I'll remember to do that before bed so it's one of the last things you hear."

I gazed at him, his face earnest, care etched into every feature. His soul was the sweetest and I really didn't deserve him. I closed my eyes, my feelings too strong to look at him right then without them spilling out in every look or blink I gave him. But the words came out my mouth anyway. "I love you Tae."

He pulled me even closer and sighed into my hair. "Marley, you have no idea. The word love doesn't even seem to be enough right now."

His kisses were gentle, reassuring and perfect and I felt calm. The little tears that threatened in the corner of my eyes were from the way he was caring for me not from fear. He wrapped me up in a feeling of security that drove away the worries in that moment and I fell back asleep in his arms.

KTH POV

The evening had not gone as expected, the discussion about money leaving a feeling in the air that I didn't like so I was treading carefully by bedtime. When I slid into bed next to her, she'd pulled me close and I'd relished in the way her body softened against mine, small kisses and touches what we needed right now to remind each other of what we shared.

So when I'd woken alone, reaching for the empty space next to me, I sat up and listened to the silence in the suite, leaving the bed in search of her. Finding Marley curled up on the couch, we'd rested together and talked; about the future, our future. I needed to reassure her she was in every part of me now, like she said I'd invaded every part of her. And unexpectedly she'd guided me back to bed, reconnecting in a way that left us both breathless.

Hours later I'd woken again, this time to her crying in sleep and I woke her as I promised I would the last time it had happened. Her dream of loss sent a chill through me and I sent a quick prayer up to my angel, to take care of everyone that I loved while I talked her down from the fear.

Hearing her say 'I love you', the way she said it, overwhelmed me and I held her as close as I could, feeling her fall asleep in my arms. I lay awake for a little longer, thinking of her, of Sophia, of a life we could try and build together. It felt like it was just on the edge of my grasp but not quite close enough to hold onto yet so I promised myself I would keep reaching out towards us, never wanting to let her go.