P'g: RANDOM INTRO!
Goku: Have you noticed you have no "disclaimer"
P'g: Really?
Hakkai: Yes, it's missing. You should write one quickly!
P'g: Sure…I own Goku.
Goku: What?
Gojyo: That's it?
P'g: Yup.
Goku: That's not fair!
Hakkai: (holds up a sign saying: P'g does not own these characters but wishes she did)
(((Chapter 3: Kittens, Shoes, and Burning Idiots)))
Gojyo: It's midnight…and no sex means more time to go on the computer and ramble about how great I am…
Gojyo: Good morning minions!
Sanzo: I've decided to rebel against you, Gojyo-sama.
Gojyo: Oh no you don't you son-of-bitch! (sets Sanzo on fire).
While the Oh-so-superior Gojyo was torturing Sanzo a fake Sanzo named Kami-sama was playing Barbies with the little girl that lived down the mountain from him.
Kami: I'm playing Barbie! (strokes Barbie's hair)
Little Girl: But I want to be Barbie!
Kami: Well we can't both be Barbie!
Little Girl: But it's MY Barbie!
Kami: Then I guess I'll just have to make you my Barbie!
Kami turned the little girl into a Barbie. Just then the sky roared and the greatest being ever broke down the door. There is a whole bunch of light and some random people go blind in Africa.
Kami: (gasp) How did you find me?
Goku: (smiles happily and waves hands in the air) Ooh! I know, I know! Pick me!
Everyone stares at Goku like he's an idiot because he is an idiot…
Goku: (points to Gojyo's head) Gojyo-sama's antennae found you!
Gojyo: THEY'RE NOT ANTANNAE! (light Goku on fire with his lighter)
Kami: Dude, did you just set him on fire?
Gojyo: Yeah, I so owned him.
Kami: (nods head) Yes, you did.
Gojyo: Anyway, this is the end for you Kami-brat! I've heard you been stealing kittens!
Kami: and turtles…but is there a problem with that?
Gojyo: Yes! I hate you and you should be shot.
Hakkai: You should learn to walk a mile in other people's shoes, Kami!
Goku: But then he'd be a mile away from them…and he'd their shoes!
Sanzo: Can we please fight! I have a brooding appointment at 5!
Hakkai: Now would that be a.m. or p.m.?
Gojyo: AN APPOINTMENT? BROODING? YOU DO THAT ALL DAY!
Kami: Ok, but I must ask, will I be seriously injured?
Goku: There have always been injuries and deaths in our fighting…but none of them were serious.
Every looks at Goku like he's an idiot…again…
Gojyo: (punches Goku)
Everyone: (Cheers)
Sanzo: Now, let's send him to that one word place that we keep somehow escaping…After Life.
The Gojyo-ikku and Kami fight matrix style.
Kami: Argh! I'm no match for them! I'll never win (blows up).
Hakkai: How excellent! He self-destructed!
A random phone in the middle of the room rings. Gojyo picks it up.
Man: Is this Gojyo-sama?
Gojyo: Why yes…it is.
Man: Gojyo! You've just won the Nobel Peace Prize!
Gojyo: …no surprise…
Goku: (is sad) I'd kill for Nobel Peace Prize…
Hakkai: Well…we'd better go. We're going to need to get gas money.
Goku: Well in that case we should borrow some money from a pessimist…
Hakkai: Why? Because they won't expect it back…?
Goku: How'd you know I was going to say that? (is totally astonished)
Hakkai: I have telekinesis…
Goku: Wow! If you have telekinesis, raise my hand! (raises his hand in the air)
Hakkai: Um…Goku…that kind of defeats the purpose of me raising you hand in the air…
Goku: (looks at hand) Oh, right…
Gojyo: We're going to have to move at the speed of light if we're going to get to India in time!
Goku: But what are we going to do when it's dark out? Does dark have a speed too?
The group begins to walk towards the jeep when all of a sudden THE TELETUBBIES POP OUT!
Everyone: AH! (they run the rest of the way)
Sanzo: Those things scared me half to death…
Goku: Then you'd better not get scared half to death again…
Everyone: Bad joke…
Goku: …joke?
Everyone: Never mind…
Goku: HEY! Guys! I'd like to drive this time!
Gojyo: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!
Goku: No…I sold it on eBay! (is uber proud of self)
Gojyo: You're still not driving.
Sanzo: LUR.
Goku: But I have to!
Hakkai: Why?
Goku: Because I have to listen to the voice in my head…he said if I didn't he'd destroy my vegetable garden…
Hakkai: you have a vegetable garden?
Goku: (smiles happily) YEAH! It's in my backpack!
Gojyo: (Shoots Goku)
Sanzo: I need to somehow get on the net.
Hakkai: Oh. Well the internet is a great way to get on the net…
Gojyo: … (shoots Hakkai and Sanzo too)
Sanzo: (is pissed) WHO THE HELL IS ON THE COMPUTER! GET OFF!
Gojyo: …damn… (logs off)
(((Next Chapter: disappointing books, muppets, and crazy fangirls)))
P'g: YAY! Erm…that's all I really have to say. If you guys have any ideas feel free to put them in your comments or message me!