His Heart was pounding through his chest and his mouth had gone completely dry, through the doors right in front of him was the girl he had hurt so much it made him sick. He had always hated the way Kelso had treated Jackie, all the times he lied and cheated on her and then she would forgive him and the idiot did it all over again.
When her and Kelso were dating he had always dropped hints to her about Kelso cheating on her and looking back now he realized he didn t just do it to see Kelso get in trouble, he did it because he didn t want her to get hurt anymore. All that time just years before he had watched that na ve shallow girl think that Kelso was god s gift to women and wondered when she would finally get the hint but when she was with him, she wasn t just some shallow girl, she was a women and he liked to think he had a part in making her one.
Even before him and Jackie had become serious he had swore to himself that he would never cheat on her no matter how tempting it was, granted he technically didn t cheat on her on account of they were broken up, but why did it feel like he did?
Sucking in a breath he slowly put a hand on the door knob and stopped, what was he going to say? "I m sorry that you saw me with another women?" phe, like that was going to make her feel better. Shaking his head he let out his breath and turned the knob.
Hearing the door knob turn, Jackie quickly rubbed the little bit of tears through her eyes, it was probably Michael anyway, word sure did travel around fast through there tiny town and she was usually the one to start the traveling" but this time she wished that everyone knew how to keep there mouths shut because once the news reached her former boyfriend he immediately called her asking when they were scheduled to get married and then move onto the honeymoon. Scowling she quickly turned around.
"For the last time Michael I m not interested in Steven?"
Her words were cut short and lodged in her throat, what was he doing here?
The second he saw her he felt a pang in his heart, her face was pale, there was a small hint of bags under her red puffy eyes and her face was fresh of no make up and dammit she was beautiful.
"Hey"
Seeing him there in front of her was the last thing she had expected and she had no idea what to do. On one hand, she wanted to run into his arms and have him hold her like he had done for the last 10 months but then . The though of him and that other girl came back to her and all the hurt and anger came flooding back.
"Hey"
She couldn t have said it more Zen and he felt a small pang of pride for it. Back then he couldn t stand her presence but for some reason he had given her his time and taught her Zen and he couldn t have been more proud with the turn of events. She had tried her best to stay Zen when Laurie had been bitching about how she had Kelso and Jackie didn t, he could tell. But when Jackie had jumped over that couch and kicked Laurie s ass he felt less annoyed with her.
Shutting the door behind him he sat on the edge of Donna s bed and took of his glasses, were was he going to start? About how he chose Kelso over her? How he said he didn t Love her when he actually did? (Ok he was at least going to admit it to himself) or how he flew off the handle when he thought her and Kelso were back together and slept with another women?
Opening his mouth he quickly shut it again, since when was he lost for words? In front of Jackie no less?
Seeing his hesitation, Jackie knitted her eye brows together, he doesn t talk to her for day s and when he finally decides to try patch things up with her, he s already slept with another women and can t find the words to explain it?
"What do you want Steven?"
Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. She was angry and he couldn t blame her.
"Look Jackie I I m sorry ok?"
Nodding her head she looked at him expectantly
"Is that all? Cause if it is then you can just go because I m very busy"
Feeling a tinge of annoyance build up inside him he shook his head.
"I d hardly call reading 10 new ways to volumize your hair busy"
Seeing her shrug he continued.
"And no it s not all Jackie, we have to talk"
Taking a quick glance at him, she looked back to her magazine.
"About what?"
Clenching his fist he kept his cool, she was just trying to annoy him and he knew it.
"You know what about Jackie so cut the crap!"
Noticing her look up from her magazine surprised he un clenched his fist, at least she was paying attention to him.
Jackie I know you saw me with that girl but
"But what?"
Lifting his head he looked at her in the eyes and saw the tears coming out the corner of her eyes and his stomach turned.
"It was a misunderstanding"
Confused and angry, she threw down her magazine.
"What exactly was there to misunderstand!"
Swallowing the lump in his throat he looked away for a second and looked back at her.
" I I came to see you yesterday to talk and.. I saw you and Kelso hugging and having a well what I thought was a cozy moment and well I was really mad and that s when I met this girl"
Her mouth was open and her face had softened slightly but the tears kept coming out. He had thought she was back with Michael? After everything that had happened between them and after she told him she loved him he thought she would run off with her ex who offered her marriage? Did he really think she was that shallow?
He saw her face harden again and wondered what to say, that he loved her and wanted to get back together with her? He was willing to admit it, just not to her. He had an image to keep, he was a bad boy, a burn out and never let anyone get to close to him cause he knew in the end, they were just gunna leave him.
He had a thing for Donna before granted and he had really wanted to date her and to have her as his girlfriend but that was before his mom left him and besides, he knew she belonged to Eric no matter how much he had wanted her and thinking on it, they probably wouldn t of even lasted as long as him and Jackie did.
Before the summer he had swore to himself that he would let no one in but some how the tiny, annoying, bitchy, shallow, rich cheerleader had gotten close to him and he hated and loved it at the same time. They were wrong for each other, complete opposites that couldn t stand each other and no one would want together and that s why he loved it.
" Jackie . Would you just say something?"
Whipping the tears from her eyes she sighed, everything was so messed up.
" What do you want me to say?"
What did he want her to say? That she loved him? It was a long shot but it was Jackie, and everything she did surprised him.
" I don t know"
Nodding she stood up ready to leave when she felt him catch her wrist and being pulled to his lips.
It wasn t urgent and heavy like all there other kisses, it wasn t hot and it wasn t passionate. It was soft, sweet, tender, loving and someting else, something almost needing. It wasn t Hyde. It was Steven .The Steven only she knew and the Steven she wanted to keep to herself. The Steven she fell for and the Steven that broke her heart.
Pulling herself away from him, she took a few steps back and stared at him. He wasn t wearing his glasses, his arms weren t crossed and his walls were down, this was the first she had seen him like this and in a twisted way she was proud of herself, proud that she was the one to make him like this.
Bringing her hand to her lips she touched them gently, deciding what to do. She didn t want to be that girl any more, that girl that got her heart broken constantly by one boy and forgave them soon after, it only hurt her more.
Quickly turning on her heel she made a dash for the door when his words held her back.
" I didn t cheat on you"
Not even bothering to turn around she made her decision.
"Then why does it feel like you did?"
Watching her leave the room, he sat back down on the bed and put his hands in his face.
" I love you Jackie"
He knew she didn t hear him.
Whoa! That was one hard chapter to write! I don t think I gave it enough Justice though, I mean there break up was heart breaking and this one was kinda rushed, any who hope ya liked it either way