Chapter 3

Veronica didn't seem to know what to do with herself. The eveing with her father went quite well and for a short while he even seemed to forget the events of the day. However now that she was alone in her room, all the ghosts of the past didn't seem to be willing to let her go to sleep. She'd been in bed for over and hour now, but she was nowhere near close to falling asleep. She kept thinking about eveything that had happened in the last 2 years or so - Lilly's death, finding out who had killed her, the trial and finally the murderer getting away with it. And of course her and Logan - something she never would have thought could happen, but it did. And it was good. Despite all the turmoil of their relationship with Logan, Veronica still thought they were really good together. And even though things pretty much sucked for them right now, somewhere deep inside she hoped that all of the troubles would magically disappear and she and Logan can start working on their relationship again. The sight of Kendall leaning against Logan's naked body disgusted her to death, but she couldn't help the way she felt about Logan. She wasn't sure she was ready to forgive him yet, but the thought of her life without Logan scared her to death. Although right now she was more concerned about Lilly's killer running free and probably just waiting to hurt more and more people.

"This is so not the way this was supposed to go." she thought to herself, trying to adjust the pillow under her head, although she doubted that this particular action was going to help her go to sleep. It was certainly not the lack of a comfortable pillow or sheets that were keeping her awake. She finally sat on her bed and realized that this was not going to work. She needed to get out of here, she needed some air. This room for some reason started driving her crazy.

She looked at the clock - it was 12:30. "Dad is gonna love that." she smiled to herself as she started getting dressed. It was the middle of the night, but she just couldn't stay in her room, she needed to get out.

When she entered the living room, Keith was still there watching TV.

"Hey dad." she said and he realized that she was fully dressed which surprised him.

"I thought you went to bed and I could have sworn I saw you in your pyjamas." he said confused.

"I couldn't sleep." she admitted. "I think I need to go out for a bit." she looked at him with pleading eyes.

"At this hour?" Keith wasn't very fond of this idea.

"I know it's late, but I just have to get out of here dad. I have to."

Keith looked at her concerned. He knew his daughter and knew that she wasn't kidding and that there probably won't be any arguing with her. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, dad, I'll be fine. Really. I just need to breathe some fresh air. I'll be right back."

"Are you sure you're gonna be OK on your own?" he was very worried, but he also knew that his daughter was a tough one.

"Yep, I'm sure. I just need some time to think."

"OK then, but don't take too long."

"I won't." she smiled and left the apartment. The air was quite cold outside, but she was not the one to be scared by the weather. She knew that fresh air, however cold it was, was going to do her good. She sighed and began her little journey around Neptune.

At first she had no idea where she was going, but after a while she felt a strong urge to go to the beach. She didn't know why, but for some reason she felt like the beach was going to help her get through this night, which seemed to be getting tougher and tougher. When she finally got there, she heard the soothing sound of the ocean and realized that maybe this was exactly what she needed. She looked around. The beach seemed to be quite peaceful, maybe even too peaceful. And it brought back so many memories of her and Lilly and Duncan and Logan. So many good times that will never get a chance to be repeated. And all because of Aaron Echolls.

Suddenly Veronica heard someone calling her name. When she turned around she saw Lilly in her shorts and tank top smiling at the thought of her best friend.

"Lilly?" it wasn't the first time that Veronica saw her dead friend, but for some reason this particular time after the trial was harder than any other time.

"Hi Veronica, missed me?" Lilly said with her never ending cheer.

Veronica didn't really know what to say to Lilly at this moment, so she only came up with "I'm sorry, Lilly."

"For what?" Lilly didn't seem to know what Veronica was talking about.

"For not making sure he ended up behind bars. That bastard who killed you."

"Don't worry about it. I'm not."

"I can't believe they let him go. I just can't believe it." she sighed and looked at Lilly, awaiting her reaction.

"Don't worry about him Veronica. It's time for you to focus on your own life." Lilly said and suddenly started laughing.

"What?" Veronica was curious.

"Remember that one time that we cut school and came here to light a fire?"

"Of course I remember." Veronica smiled to herself at the memory. "You didn't want to go to science class, so you got me to skip school with you."

"Yeah, like you objected soooo badly!" Lilly stated and Veronica couldn't help but laugh. There was a short silence and Lilly continued. "Do you remember how we felt that day? How happy we were?"

"Of course I remember. We laid on the beach and listened to to ocean and talked and laughed." Veronica got sad at the thought of how everything used to be. "Everything was so simple then."

"Well it can be simple again, Veronica."

"No it can't. Too much has happened." Veronica sighed and looked at the ocean.

"I know." Lilly admitted and took Veronica's hand. "But I want you to try and be happy again. As happy as we were that day on the beach."

"I don't know if I can, Lilly."

"Well just try, OK? For me." Lilly looked at Veronica with those eyes that just couldn't be refused anything.

"I'll try." she smiled as Lilly hugged her.

"I want you to be happy Veronica." Lilly whispered into Veronica's ear and held on to her friend for a while. But then within seconds she was gone.

"Lilly?" Veronica looked around slightly disoriented, but Lilly was nowhere to be found. She didn't know if she was going crazy or if her mind was playing tricks on her. She had no idea what was going on in her mind, but she knew that she missed her friend. "Lilly..." she said again with affection, but somehow knew that Lilly wasn't coming back. She was never coming back. Never. They would never have another day on the beach together. Not on the beach, not anywhere else. And the bastard who was responsible for all this pain and hurt was a free man, walking around the streets of Neptune.

"I'm so sorry, Lilly, I'm so sorry." Veronica whispered and suddenly felt that she couldn't take this any longer. Her knees gave in and she ended up sitting on the sand, sobbing uncontrollably at the loss of her friend, at the inability to put the murderer in jail and at everything else that was wrong in her life.