Part 13
"Ooooooh! I hope it's my new rainbow colored visor," giggled Clopster eagerly, skipping gaily to the door. He swung it open, took one glance, and slammed that shit shut.
"Uh........," he stammered, his face turning really pale, "Orooooooooro! There's someone at the door to see you I think!" Then he ran away to find somewhere to throw up. Logan stood in a corner sniggering at the lame-o.
"Hehe," he laughed, "Loser."
Ororo walked calmly to the door and opened it too. "Ahhhhh," she said happily, grabbing Fatty by the hand and leading him inside, "You were supposed to be here half an hour ago! Jean can't wait to see you strip! I love the costume too!"
"Uhhh" said Senator Kelly while making an odd face, "I have ta make a wee pit stop first. I got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey!"
"The bathroom is the third door on the right. Meet us in the living room. We'll be waiting!" said Ororo, walking away.
The Senator went barreling down the hall like an obese freight train, only bigger. Once he found the bathroom, he shut and locked the door and started to do his business.
Meanwhile, Baldy was still locked in his office with Jenny and Kelly. They had tried every possible exit, but found no way out. Baldy decided to make the best of their predicament. Jenny and Kelly were slumped moodily in the corner, cussing every possible cuss created.
"So, ladies." said the professor cheerfully, "How about we talk about your obsession with Logan?"
At the mention of Logan's name, the two immediately looked up.
"Logan?? Where where??"
"Point that hunk of man out dammit!"
"No no no," said Baldy, "He's not here, but let's discuss your feelings for him. I may be able to help."
Jenny and Kelly grumpily got up and stomped over to where Pumpkin Head was wheeling..errrr.......sitting. They sat down on a couch that was facing him.
"Ok, first off," started Baldy, clapping his hands together, "Why do you like him?"
"I know I know!" yelled Kelly, waving her hand around frantically, "Pick me! C'mon!"
The professor scanned the room, looking past Kelly to Jenny, who was looking at one of Logan's hairs intently. "Hmmmmm..let's see.........Jenny, why don't you answer the question?"
Jenny looked up and started to blush. She got all nervous and shit, just like in school when a kid is called on to answer a question. "Um......um.......um.," Jenny said, looking wildly around, "Ass is the answer I think?"
"Ok" said the Professor slowly, looking at her weird, "So, the reason that you like Logan so much is....'Ass'."
Jenny nodded her head.
"I'll have to agree with that," said Kelly, patting Jenny on the back for the wonderful answer, "He does have a really nice ass."
"Good for him, second question," continued Baldy, "Why do you think he tries to get away from you?"
"That's easy," said Kelly, "We try to fondle and molest him whenever we can, but one day he'll learn to enjoy it!"
"Yeah," added Jenny, "Like the time he "really" enjoyed it."
Both girls started to giggle and prod each other.
"By that you are referring to the stained jean incident, correct?" asked the Professor.
"Yes."
"Can I give you my personal opinion?" asked the Bald One.
"Probably not." said Jenny, totally uninterested.
"Too bad," he said annoyed, "I think.................."
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWNNNN." Kelly busted out with a long ass yawn, interrupting the Professor.
"You know what I really think?!" yelled Baldavier, "I think that you both are rude, selfish, evil girls that need to be severely beaten with metal rods! That's my personal opinion! Logan would have to be totally out of his damn mind to ever be interested in either of you romantically or socially! You both have potty mouths, constantly start fights, lust over men you barely know, and make fun of my baldness in every fricken' sentence! Go to hell Powers!" The Professor fell back, breathing heavily. He had never been so upset in his entire life of baldness. Jenny and Kelly just grinned at him and began to laugh their fool asses off.
"Whatever you say Mr. Bobber!"
"Go polish yourself again! You missed a spot on your 52 acre fo' head."
"Why don't you and your orange shaped head go make some Tropicana or something?"
"Holy shit Kelly! That paper weight just talked to us!"
"HAHAHAHA!! His head looks like the moon!"
"Yeah, all he needs is a flag poked into his Snowball!"
"Ok you two, very funny, HA HA HA," said the Professor, not at all amused.
"Um...........we're not done yet Bulby."
"Speaking of rude, interrupting much!"
"Ok, where were we..oh yeah! Snowball."
"Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me!!"
"Time for tubby toast. Time for tubby toast! Run! It's a floating Xavier shaped tubby toast!"
"Ok! That's enough!" Baldy was just about to lay the smack down when a foul stench filled the room.
"Jeeeeeeeesus!!' shouted Kelly, pinching her nose, "What in the name of UnGodly fuck is that damn smell??" Kelly heard a loud thump and turned around and looked down. Jenny passed............you guessed it, the fuck out!!
Baldy also passed out. But do you really care about that guy? Jenny is the number one priority right now dammit!
Kelly started to holler for help. Someone began to pound on the office door and then 3 claws ripped through the wood. "I'm coming!" yelled Logan, "Just hold on!!"
Kelly began to feel weak now. She slowly sank down to the ground and passed out.
Logan tore the door the hell away from its hinges and ran across the room. He broke a window open with his fist to get the gals some air. The room still stunk, but at least the air was semi-breathable.
Kelly opened her eyes slowly. Logan was holding her head up. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, caressing her face.
"I'm fine now," said Kelly grinning, then she looked at her friend's limp form and became hysterical, "Oh God! Jenny is still passed out! Help her Logan. I don't want to lose my friend!"
Logan didn't need to be told twice. The last thing that he wanted was Jenny or Kelly to be injured. Logan kneeled down next to Jenny and checked for a pulse. She wasn't breathing.
"I have to give her mouth to mouth," said Logan quickly, "After I give her air, pump her chest."
ER type music played in the background. DADADADA DA DOO DA, DADADADA DA DOO DA!
Logan tilted Jenny's head back and pressed his mouth to hers, but before he could give her air, her right hand rose up and held on to the back of his head, she smooched him Bugs Bunny style. He got off her and saw her mad grin.
"If that's the way you treat patients," said Jenny, still grinning cheesily, "Then you can be my Doc any day!"
Kelly was about to kick some ass. Logan was still in shock.
"That was NOT funny," yelled Kelly, wiping a tear away from her cheek, "I thought that you were really hurt!"
Logan stood staring at nothing in particular. It was like he was paralyzed or something.
"Kiisssssss............." was all he could get out. Kelly smacked him in the head.
"Snap out of it already!"
"Who? What? Where?" he said, confused, "Sorry, my mind went totally blank."
Jenny stood up and dusted herself off. "My kisses have that effect on most men."
"Yeah," said Kelly, "That's because you smear crack on your lips, whore!"
"What was that smell?" asked Jenny, "It really did knock me the fuck out."
"I dunno, but I aims ta' find out! C'mon Jenny, to the Batcave......er I mean....uh....nevermind," Kelly said, while pulling out two random gas masks.
"Hey, where did those come from?" asked Jenny.
"My ass, okay? Why do you ask so many goddamn questions?" Kelly snapped for no reason.
"Geez, calm down, hooker," Jenny said with a frown.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you, it's just that, well, I guess I'm not really with it today."
"It's okay, Kel. I forgive you. Now, let's find out where that horrible smell is coming from."
"I'm glad you understand." The two walked out of the room, leaving Logan (my God!) to fend for Wheelie. "Hey, did you just call me Kel?"
"Ummmmm, no.........that was Logan. Speaking of which, where is he? We can't just leave him here all alone," Jenny said, walking back.
"He's with me, girls. No need to fear," said Glare Master 5000.
"Niggaplease. Come on Logan," said Kelly, finding another gas mask for him.
The trio walked down the hallway, not knowing what to expect. They were getting closer to the source of the smell, so close that they could almost taste it.
"Plah plah," sputtered Jenny, spitting, "The air tastes like ass just broke loose and ran around the room!" "How do you know what ass tastes like?" asked Kelly, laughing. "Um.....no comment." replied Jenny, putting her gas mask on. Kelly and Logan did the same.
Logan started to breath like Darth Vader for some screwy reason. "Keeeeer heeeee keeeeer heeeee. Luke.....I am your father" Then he started rollin'.
"Awwwwww," sighed Kelly, "He's so cute!"
'Logan, Logan....." said Jenny, trying to pull him up off the ground, "LOGAN! Get up already!!"
He quickly got up and became his usual serious self. "Sorry about that."
"Whatever." said both girls.
The smell was becoming stronger. The trio turned a corner and entered the school living room. All the X-People were in there, trying to party. Jean had on a birthday hat and was opening some gifts. Gaylops, evidently feeling better, pranced over to where Logan, Jenny, and Kelly were standing.
"Hey guys! Come on in and have some cake or something!" said Gayster giddily, "Hey Kelly. Wanna dance?"
"Um........I'd rather eat a block of rat poison and have sex with Fat Bastard," said Kelly, turning down the Gayman.
"Ok, maybe later," said Cyke, not getting a word that she said.
"If you ever either girl to dance again," growled Logan, "I'll stab off what little bit of dick you have!"
Scott's united-brow went up and he backed away. "Sorry! Sorry!" he said, putting his hands up defensively, "My mistake. Just please don't hurt me!"
The air in the room was clear so the three took off their masks.
"Do you wanna dance Logan?" asked Kelly, batting her eyelashes.
"Not particularly." replied Logan.
"Aw, c'mon," begged Kelly, grabbing his hand and leading him to the dance floor.
"Fine," Logan grudgingly said, giving in, "Wait here for us Jenny."
Jenny looked really sad and alone. She kicked at an imaginary rock, stuffed her hands into her pockets moodily, and then decided to go and burn some of Jean's gifts. It would take her mind off Logan for a bit.
Before she could reach the gift table, Scotch Guard stepped in front of her.
"Would you care to dance purty lady?" he asked, bowing.
"No thanks," said Jenny, looking over Scott's shoulder to the pile of flammable presents. "I'm sort of busy right now. Go blow your girlfriend or something."
"Let's go dance," continued Clops, getting pushy. "I want a young girl, not an 85 year old grizzled granny like Jean. Please!"
Jenny could see he had been drinking before.
He snatched her hand and dragged her out to the dance floor.
"I said leave me alone!"
"No, we're going to boogie down!............Rocky road, eh heh!"
"Let me go! Ow! You're hurting my hand!"
"Do you want to go somewhere more private? Like my bedroom?"
"NOOOO!! Get away from me! You smell like fishes!!"
That one-eyed bastard clung tight to Jenny, wrapping his arm around her waist. She was struggling to get away, but he was pretty strong for a wimp ass.
Meanwhile, Logan and Kelly were ballroom dancing on the other side of the room while Jenny was trying to escape from the evil Headlight.
Kelly found a long, elegant white gown and Logan was decked out in a sexy black tux. They waltzed around the room, laughing and having a good time. They totally forgot about Jenny. Logan put a rose in his mouth and the two began to tango.
"Wow," whispered Logan, "This is more fun than I thought it would be."
"Sure is," said Kelly softly, laying her head on Logan's shoulder.
Jenny was forced to dance with Unieye slowly. He kept feeling her up. She had the most disgusted look on her face and she squirmed and wiggled to get away.
"Ok, we danced, now lemme go!" yelled Jenny angrily.
"I'm not done yet."
"I don't give a holy ass if you're done or not!"
"You have no choice. Just go with the flow."
Jenny prayed that her steel bat would magically appear in her hand, but that damn David Copperfield never helped her out. Ass.
Not only was Scott ugly, he also had a bad case of ffffttttt breath.
"Can you just stop breathing for a few minutes?" asked Jenny, trying not to inhale, "Your breath smells like vodka mixed with a pile of shit roasting in a microwave. Or a toilet that wasn't flushed."
"That's not nice. Let's go." He pulled her towards the door, being careful to avoid Saggin' Hag Jean.
"Where are you taking me??" asked Jenny, her voice shaking, "If you let me go I may have a tic tac with your name on it! That's a good exchange. Mmmm...minty fresh!"
"We're going to my love pad."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! LOGAN HELP ME!!!" screamed Jenny wildly.
Scott managed to pull her out into the hallway. He slapped her in the face and then was about to force his corroded herpes infected lips on her when Logan stepped out. And boy did he look pissed, and scary, and mad, and um.........scary.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Logan roared.
Peeper looked like he was about to shit his damn depends.
"Uhhhh......nothing.ma ma me and Jenny were just ga ga going for a stroll in the hall.............." he stuttered madly, looking for an escape route.
Logan walked over to him and pulled Jenny away from Piss Pants. He looked at her red cheek and then looked back at Scott. Then all Logan broke loose. He started to punch Scooter in the stomach reeeeeeal damn hard. Then he smashed his fist into Cyke's face. Logan was about to stab the living ant farm outta him when Jean ran in front of Logan. That didn't matter to Logan. He just began to beat her down too.
Kelly handed Jenny a napkin with ice inside to put on her sore cheek. They watched Logan in fascination.
"Look at the way his back muscles ripple as he punches Jean's deflated shabadoos!"
"Yeah, and the way his fist fits exactly in Cyke's face. Amazing!"
Logan grabbed one of Jean's limp, saggin' to the floor breasts and swung her around. He spun her faster and faster until he let her go. She flew out an open window and landed on the school's lawn roughly. Now it was Flashlight's turn again. He crouched in a corner and held up his hands. His nose was bleeding and he was all bruised.
"Please Logan," whined Cyke, "Have mercy."
"Um......................................................................... ," said Logan, putting his hand on his fuzzy chin and scratching thoughtfully, "........................................nah" He continued to batter and hurt Clops.
Jenny knew it was enough. She went forward and put her hand on Logan's arm. "That's enough, Logan," said Jenny, pulling his Scott Mangling hands away. I think he learned his lesson, plus he's drunk."
"No one smacks on mi amigo and gets away with it," yelled Kelly running forward swinging a bat. She whacked Clops in the head like 30 times. Then she swung one final time with all of her Kelly strength. Cyke was knocked.the fuck across the room!!
He flew into the open door of Cereblo.
"Welcome homo," said the computer voice.
"HHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLOOOOO?? III NEEEEEDDD AAAA RRRROOOOPPEEE!" hollered Gay from the bottom of the well.
Logan slammed the door shut and ignored Cyke.
Jenny rubbed her cheekie. It was better. She felt like burning stuff so that was a good sign.
"Are you ok?" Logan asked anxiously, "I'll kill him if you want. Please say I can kill him."
"No, you don't need to," said Jenny, "I'm fine, and I do mean I'm fine, and sexy, and beautiful and..."
Kelly interrupted, "Shaddup!"
"Ok."
Logan put his hand around both girls protectively and led them back to the party room. It seemed that they all forgot about the mysterious Bog of Eternal Stench Odor.
Jenny went to dance with Logan and Kelly went to hustle some people out of their money. Didn't you all know that Kelly was a professional Carnie and card shark besides being a Hugh Molester? Well it's true. She busted out with a rigged ring toss game. She put on a top hat and had a cane in one hand.
"Step right up, step right up! Try your luck at a game of ring toss! Win a loverly bear for your lady!"
Some people were gathering around.
"You sir, yes you, the cock-eyed brotha. You look like you could win. Why not give it a try and win your shim of a girl a stuffed rat? 5 bucks for 3 rings."
"Ok, sure thing," said the man cockily, his eye wandering also. He handed Kelly the 5 bucks and she handed him the rings.
Meanwhile, Jenny and Logan were dirty dancing Swayze style.
"Um, are you sure we should be dancing this way," asked Logan while grinding his hips into Jenny.
"More grind, less talk," said Jenny, shaking her thang. Back to Kelly now, these two are having too much fun!
~We'll continue this shit in part 14, cuz we already gave you like a million pages for part 13! ~End part 13
"Ooooooh! I hope it's my new rainbow colored visor," giggled Clopster eagerly, skipping gaily to the door. He swung it open, took one glance, and slammed that shit shut.
"Uh........," he stammered, his face turning really pale, "Orooooooooro! There's someone at the door to see you I think!" Then he ran away to find somewhere to throw up. Logan stood in a corner sniggering at the lame-o.
"Hehe," he laughed, "Loser."
Ororo walked calmly to the door and opened it too. "Ahhhhh," she said happily, grabbing Fatty by the hand and leading him inside, "You were supposed to be here half an hour ago! Jean can't wait to see you strip! I love the costume too!"
"Uhhh" said Senator Kelly while making an odd face, "I have ta make a wee pit stop first. I got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey!"
"The bathroom is the third door on the right. Meet us in the living room. We'll be waiting!" said Ororo, walking away.
The Senator went barreling down the hall like an obese freight train, only bigger. Once he found the bathroom, he shut and locked the door and started to do his business.
Meanwhile, Baldy was still locked in his office with Jenny and Kelly. They had tried every possible exit, but found no way out. Baldy decided to make the best of their predicament. Jenny and Kelly were slumped moodily in the corner, cussing every possible cuss created.
"So, ladies." said the professor cheerfully, "How about we talk about your obsession with Logan?"
At the mention of Logan's name, the two immediately looked up.
"Logan?? Where where??"
"Point that hunk of man out dammit!"
"No no no," said Baldy, "He's not here, but let's discuss your feelings for him. I may be able to help."
Jenny and Kelly grumpily got up and stomped over to where Pumpkin Head was wheeling..errrr.......sitting. They sat down on a couch that was facing him.
"Ok, first off," started Baldy, clapping his hands together, "Why do you like him?"
"I know I know!" yelled Kelly, waving her hand around frantically, "Pick me! C'mon!"
The professor scanned the room, looking past Kelly to Jenny, who was looking at one of Logan's hairs intently. "Hmmmmm..let's see.........Jenny, why don't you answer the question?"
Jenny looked up and started to blush. She got all nervous and shit, just like in school when a kid is called on to answer a question. "Um......um.......um.," Jenny said, looking wildly around, "Ass is the answer I think?"
"Ok" said the Professor slowly, looking at her weird, "So, the reason that you like Logan so much is....'Ass'."
Jenny nodded her head.
"I'll have to agree with that," said Kelly, patting Jenny on the back for the wonderful answer, "He does have a really nice ass."
"Good for him, second question," continued Baldy, "Why do you think he tries to get away from you?"
"That's easy," said Kelly, "We try to fondle and molest him whenever we can, but one day he'll learn to enjoy it!"
"Yeah," added Jenny, "Like the time he "really" enjoyed it."
Both girls started to giggle and prod each other.
"By that you are referring to the stained jean incident, correct?" asked the Professor.
"Yes."
"Can I give you my personal opinion?" asked the Bald One.
"Probably not." said Jenny, totally uninterested.
"Too bad," he said annoyed, "I think.................."
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWNNNN." Kelly busted out with a long ass yawn, interrupting the Professor.
"You know what I really think?!" yelled Baldavier, "I think that you both are rude, selfish, evil girls that need to be severely beaten with metal rods! That's my personal opinion! Logan would have to be totally out of his damn mind to ever be interested in either of you romantically or socially! You both have potty mouths, constantly start fights, lust over men you barely know, and make fun of my baldness in every fricken' sentence! Go to hell Powers!" The Professor fell back, breathing heavily. He had never been so upset in his entire life of baldness. Jenny and Kelly just grinned at him and began to laugh their fool asses off.
"Whatever you say Mr. Bobber!"
"Go polish yourself again! You missed a spot on your 52 acre fo' head."
"Why don't you and your orange shaped head go make some Tropicana or something?"
"Holy shit Kelly! That paper weight just talked to us!"
"HAHAHAHA!! His head looks like the moon!"
"Yeah, all he needs is a flag poked into his Snowball!"
"Ok you two, very funny, HA HA HA," said the Professor, not at all amused.
"Um...........we're not done yet Bulby."
"Speaking of rude, interrupting much!"
"Ok, where were we..oh yeah! Snowball."
"Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me!!"
"Time for tubby toast. Time for tubby toast! Run! It's a floating Xavier shaped tubby toast!"
"Ok! That's enough!" Baldy was just about to lay the smack down when a foul stench filled the room.
"Jeeeeeeeesus!!' shouted Kelly, pinching her nose, "What in the name of UnGodly fuck is that damn smell??" Kelly heard a loud thump and turned around and looked down. Jenny passed............you guessed it, the fuck out!!
Baldy also passed out. But do you really care about that guy? Jenny is the number one priority right now dammit!
Kelly started to holler for help. Someone began to pound on the office door and then 3 claws ripped through the wood. "I'm coming!" yelled Logan, "Just hold on!!"
Kelly began to feel weak now. She slowly sank down to the ground and passed out.
Logan tore the door the hell away from its hinges and ran across the room. He broke a window open with his fist to get the gals some air. The room still stunk, but at least the air was semi-breathable.
Kelly opened her eyes slowly. Logan was holding her head up. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, caressing her face.
"I'm fine now," said Kelly grinning, then she looked at her friend's limp form and became hysterical, "Oh God! Jenny is still passed out! Help her Logan. I don't want to lose my friend!"
Logan didn't need to be told twice. The last thing that he wanted was Jenny or Kelly to be injured. Logan kneeled down next to Jenny and checked for a pulse. She wasn't breathing.
"I have to give her mouth to mouth," said Logan quickly, "After I give her air, pump her chest."
ER type music played in the background. DADADADA DA DOO DA, DADADADA DA DOO DA!
Logan tilted Jenny's head back and pressed his mouth to hers, but before he could give her air, her right hand rose up and held on to the back of his head, she smooched him Bugs Bunny style. He got off her and saw her mad grin.
"If that's the way you treat patients," said Jenny, still grinning cheesily, "Then you can be my Doc any day!"
Kelly was about to kick some ass. Logan was still in shock.
"That was NOT funny," yelled Kelly, wiping a tear away from her cheek, "I thought that you were really hurt!"
Logan stood staring at nothing in particular. It was like he was paralyzed or something.
"Kiisssssss............." was all he could get out. Kelly smacked him in the head.
"Snap out of it already!"
"Who? What? Where?" he said, confused, "Sorry, my mind went totally blank."
Jenny stood up and dusted herself off. "My kisses have that effect on most men."
"Yeah," said Kelly, "That's because you smear crack on your lips, whore!"
"What was that smell?" asked Jenny, "It really did knock me the fuck out."
"I dunno, but I aims ta' find out! C'mon Jenny, to the Batcave......er I mean....uh....nevermind," Kelly said, while pulling out two random gas masks.
"Hey, where did those come from?" asked Jenny.
"My ass, okay? Why do you ask so many goddamn questions?" Kelly snapped for no reason.
"Geez, calm down, hooker," Jenny said with a frown.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you, it's just that, well, I guess I'm not really with it today."
"It's okay, Kel. I forgive you. Now, let's find out where that horrible smell is coming from."
"I'm glad you understand." The two walked out of the room, leaving Logan (my God!) to fend for Wheelie. "Hey, did you just call me Kel?"
"Ummmmm, no.........that was Logan. Speaking of which, where is he? We can't just leave him here all alone," Jenny said, walking back.
"He's with me, girls. No need to fear," said Glare Master 5000.
"Niggaplease. Come on Logan," said Kelly, finding another gas mask for him.
The trio walked down the hallway, not knowing what to expect. They were getting closer to the source of the smell, so close that they could almost taste it.
"Plah plah," sputtered Jenny, spitting, "The air tastes like ass just broke loose and ran around the room!" "How do you know what ass tastes like?" asked Kelly, laughing. "Um.....no comment." replied Jenny, putting her gas mask on. Kelly and Logan did the same.
Logan started to breath like Darth Vader for some screwy reason. "Keeeeer heeeee keeeeer heeeee. Luke.....I am your father" Then he started rollin'.
"Awwwwww," sighed Kelly, "He's so cute!"
'Logan, Logan....." said Jenny, trying to pull him up off the ground, "LOGAN! Get up already!!"
He quickly got up and became his usual serious self. "Sorry about that."
"Whatever." said both girls.
The smell was becoming stronger. The trio turned a corner and entered the school living room. All the X-People were in there, trying to party. Jean had on a birthday hat and was opening some gifts. Gaylops, evidently feeling better, pranced over to where Logan, Jenny, and Kelly were standing.
"Hey guys! Come on in and have some cake or something!" said Gayster giddily, "Hey Kelly. Wanna dance?"
"Um........I'd rather eat a block of rat poison and have sex with Fat Bastard," said Kelly, turning down the Gayman.
"Ok, maybe later," said Cyke, not getting a word that she said.
"If you ever either girl to dance again," growled Logan, "I'll stab off what little bit of dick you have!"
Scott's united-brow went up and he backed away. "Sorry! Sorry!" he said, putting his hands up defensively, "My mistake. Just please don't hurt me!"
The air in the room was clear so the three took off their masks.
"Do you wanna dance Logan?" asked Kelly, batting her eyelashes.
"Not particularly." replied Logan.
"Aw, c'mon," begged Kelly, grabbing his hand and leading him to the dance floor.
"Fine," Logan grudgingly said, giving in, "Wait here for us Jenny."
Jenny looked really sad and alone. She kicked at an imaginary rock, stuffed her hands into her pockets moodily, and then decided to go and burn some of Jean's gifts. It would take her mind off Logan for a bit.
Before she could reach the gift table, Scotch Guard stepped in front of her.
"Would you care to dance purty lady?" he asked, bowing.
"No thanks," said Jenny, looking over Scott's shoulder to the pile of flammable presents. "I'm sort of busy right now. Go blow your girlfriend or something."
"Let's go dance," continued Clops, getting pushy. "I want a young girl, not an 85 year old grizzled granny like Jean. Please!"
Jenny could see he had been drinking before.
He snatched her hand and dragged her out to the dance floor.
"I said leave me alone!"
"No, we're going to boogie down!............Rocky road, eh heh!"
"Let me go! Ow! You're hurting my hand!"
"Do you want to go somewhere more private? Like my bedroom?"
"NOOOO!! Get away from me! You smell like fishes!!"
That one-eyed bastard clung tight to Jenny, wrapping his arm around her waist. She was struggling to get away, but he was pretty strong for a wimp ass.
Meanwhile, Logan and Kelly were ballroom dancing on the other side of the room while Jenny was trying to escape from the evil Headlight.
Kelly found a long, elegant white gown and Logan was decked out in a sexy black tux. They waltzed around the room, laughing and having a good time. They totally forgot about Jenny. Logan put a rose in his mouth and the two began to tango.
"Wow," whispered Logan, "This is more fun than I thought it would be."
"Sure is," said Kelly softly, laying her head on Logan's shoulder.
Jenny was forced to dance with Unieye slowly. He kept feeling her up. She had the most disgusted look on her face and she squirmed and wiggled to get away.
"Ok, we danced, now lemme go!" yelled Jenny angrily.
"I'm not done yet."
"I don't give a holy ass if you're done or not!"
"You have no choice. Just go with the flow."
Jenny prayed that her steel bat would magically appear in her hand, but that damn David Copperfield never helped her out. Ass.
Not only was Scott ugly, he also had a bad case of ffffttttt breath.
"Can you just stop breathing for a few minutes?" asked Jenny, trying not to inhale, "Your breath smells like vodka mixed with a pile of shit roasting in a microwave. Or a toilet that wasn't flushed."
"That's not nice. Let's go." He pulled her towards the door, being careful to avoid Saggin' Hag Jean.
"Where are you taking me??" asked Jenny, her voice shaking, "If you let me go I may have a tic tac with your name on it! That's a good exchange. Mmmm...minty fresh!"
"We're going to my love pad."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! LOGAN HELP ME!!!" screamed Jenny wildly.
Scott managed to pull her out into the hallway. He slapped her in the face and then was about to force his corroded herpes infected lips on her when Logan stepped out. And boy did he look pissed, and scary, and mad, and um.........scary.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Logan roared.
Peeper looked like he was about to shit his damn depends.
"Uhhhh......nothing.ma ma me and Jenny were just ga ga going for a stroll in the hall.............." he stuttered madly, looking for an escape route.
Logan walked over to him and pulled Jenny away from Piss Pants. He looked at her red cheek and then looked back at Scott. Then all Logan broke loose. He started to punch Scooter in the stomach reeeeeeal damn hard. Then he smashed his fist into Cyke's face. Logan was about to stab the living ant farm outta him when Jean ran in front of Logan. That didn't matter to Logan. He just began to beat her down too.
Kelly handed Jenny a napkin with ice inside to put on her sore cheek. They watched Logan in fascination.
"Look at the way his back muscles ripple as he punches Jean's deflated shabadoos!"
"Yeah, and the way his fist fits exactly in Cyke's face. Amazing!"
Logan grabbed one of Jean's limp, saggin' to the floor breasts and swung her around. He spun her faster and faster until he let her go. She flew out an open window and landed on the school's lawn roughly. Now it was Flashlight's turn again. He crouched in a corner and held up his hands. His nose was bleeding and he was all bruised.
"Please Logan," whined Cyke, "Have mercy."
"Um......................................................................... ," said Logan, putting his hand on his fuzzy chin and scratching thoughtfully, "........................................nah" He continued to batter and hurt Clops.
Jenny knew it was enough. She went forward and put her hand on Logan's arm. "That's enough, Logan," said Jenny, pulling his Scott Mangling hands away. I think he learned his lesson, plus he's drunk."
"No one smacks on mi amigo and gets away with it," yelled Kelly running forward swinging a bat. She whacked Clops in the head like 30 times. Then she swung one final time with all of her Kelly strength. Cyke was knocked.the fuck across the room!!
He flew into the open door of Cereblo.
"Welcome homo," said the computer voice.
"HHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLOOOOO?? III NEEEEEDDD AAAA RRRROOOOPPEEE!" hollered Gay from the bottom of the well.
Logan slammed the door shut and ignored Cyke.
Jenny rubbed her cheekie. It was better. She felt like burning stuff so that was a good sign.
"Are you ok?" Logan asked anxiously, "I'll kill him if you want. Please say I can kill him."
"No, you don't need to," said Jenny, "I'm fine, and I do mean I'm fine, and sexy, and beautiful and..."
Kelly interrupted, "Shaddup!"
"Ok."
Logan put his hand around both girls protectively and led them back to the party room. It seemed that they all forgot about the mysterious Bog of Eternal Stench Odor.
Jenny went to dance with Logan and Kelly went to hustle some people out of their money. Didn't you all know that Kelly was a professional Carnie and card shark besides being a Hugh Molester? Well it's true. She busted out with a rigged ring toss game. She put on a top hat and had a cane in one hand.
"Step right up, step right up! Try your luck at a game of ring toss! Win a loverly bear for your lady!"
Some people were gathering around.
"You sir, yes you, the cock-eyed brotha. You look like you could win. Why not give it a try and win your shim of a girl a stuffed rat? 5 bucks for 3 rings."
"Ok, sure thing," said the man cockily, his eye wandering also. He handed Kelly the 5 bucks and she handed him the rings.
Meanwhile, Jenny and Logan were dirty dancing Swayze style.
"Um, are you sure we should be dancing this way," asked Logan while grinding his hips into Jenny.
"More grind, less talk," said Jenny, shaking her thang. Back to Kelly now, these two are having too much fun!
~We'll continue this shit in part 14, cuz we already gave you like a million pages for part 13! ~End part 13