Gaara: (glares at audience) Read my story or die.

Sasuke: (arrogant) That's not how you threaten the readers.

Kankuro: (scared) N-No! Don't yell at Gaara!

Gaara: (annoyed) Then how do you do it?

Sasuke: (turns to the audience and performs six seals) Read the story or suffer under my Housenka no Jutsu!

Fire: No! (grabs Sasuke and breaks his tiger seal) Don't flame the audience!

Sand: Drown the audience in sand. I don't care.

Fire: As for you readers, why aren't you flaming Sand! Have you read this story! It makes no sense!

Sand: (glares at Fire) On second thought…Gaara, put out Fire.

Gaara: (turns to Fire) Fuuton Mugen Saijin Daitoppa! (more sand flies out of Gaara's mouth) Sabaku taisou! (buries Fire in sand)

Fire: Waah! Baki, help me!

Baki: (sweats and cowers in fear) Uh…

Sasuke: (grabs Fire and shunshins away) Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!

Fire: (taps on a glass wall) Good job, Sasuke. Now, how do suggest we get out of this glass prison? (glass cracks and buries Fire)

Kakashi: (appears as the sand stops flowing) I wanted a nice vacation and I still get called back? (puts away his pager) Where's Fire?

Sasuke: (spits sand from his mouth) Under here. (points under the sand)

Kakashi: (reaches down and pulls the barely alive Fire out) …

Sand: Swirly! (grabs the bloody Sasuke from the ground and runs into the bathroom)

Gaara: This should be interesting.

Fire: Baki! You're useless! (turns to the audience) Read the fourth chapter while I yell at Baki and go to the hospital for some treatment. And remember to review, and tell the truth this time! Sand needs a lot of criticism!

0o0o0o0

Chapter 4: Doushite…?

Shikamaru entered the Hokage Tower. He still didn't know what made him accept the offer about two weeks ago. He already knew what the girl's family was like.

Super scary.

One was a green eyed, red-haired insomniac and former heartless killer with a bloodthirsty demon sealed inside him. The other was a kabuki-style face-painted puppeteer bully with a strange taste for hoods with pointed ears.

Sighing, Shikamaru knocked on the door to the Hokage's office. 'Why can't I just say no?' He thought as he waited for an answer, but there wasn't a response. So the chuunin entered silently, trying not to step on any of the papers that had piled up behind the door.

There was a slumped figure at the desk. Papers and books were strewn all over the room. The Hokage was asleep. Again.

Shikamaru walked up to Tsunade, looked down at her and let out a long-winded sigh. 'Why do I always get stuck with doing something troublesome? How super troublesome...'

Shikamaru shook her shoulder. "Oi! Hokage-sama! Wake up!"

Tsunade's eyes fluttered open to see something green and black, a peach-coloured ball with a dark-brown spike on top. It looked sort of like a sick tree with only one rotten pineapple on top, and all the leaves had fallen off. After blinking a few times, her eyes adjusted to see the annoyed face of a chuunin. "Shikamaru?" She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes… "What are you doing here?" …consequently smearing the ink on her cheek.

The brown-haired chuunin wondered the same thing but ignored the question, along with the ink spot on her face. He knew he had already accepted the offer and a man couldn't take back his word. So he had to come and see the Hokage with a request. "I request permission to go to Sunagakure."

Tsunade clamped her mouth shut from her yawn. She was interested as to what reason the lazy chuunin had thought up this time. 'He always comes up with the weirdest reasons to go to Sunagakure so it's no longer a surprise that he would ask to go, again. Maybe I should write up an annual pass or something so he would stop asking?' She clasped her hands in front of her, 'I'd just wish that he would just come out and say that he wanted to see that blond-haired kunoichi. Kids these days...they're just too troublesome,' and looked straight at the young man. "Why do you want to go?" She had an expectant look on her face. It only took another moment of his stubborn face for her to make up her mind. 'Nah. It's too entertaining to see him make up all these excuses. That annual pass will just have to wait.'

Shikamaru stuffed his hands into his pockets with a frown. "I was invited to see Kazekage-sama for some personal matters." This time he was telling the truth.

Of course, Tsunade didn't care. She was used to the lazy chuunin's excuses by now and would have allowed him the time off anyway. Especially since there was just a chuunin exam about a month ago. His job as a chuunin examiner wouldn't be needed until early spring of next year.

Also, Tsunade could make him look over the selections when he returned.

"How long will you be gone?" Even though Tsunade was allowing him to go, she still needed to know when he would be back.

"At least two weeks." Shikamaru's head was turned towards the open window. He was staring at the clouds again with his eyes half-closed and posture visibly slouched.

"At least...two weeks," Tsunade drawled as she stopped the scratching of her pencil and looked up at the brown-haired boy. "Why so long? It only takes three days to get to Sunagakure and three days back. So a week and a half should be more than enough to finish whatever you need to do there."

Now, the Hokage was suspicious. 'What could he be up to? Uggh...a long distance relationship is so bothersome.'

Shikamaru turned to face the Hokage, his frown still etched on his face. "I just want to know how the improvements I gave to Temari are going. They're not that difficult. Just some changes to the defense system, and preparations in case of surprise attacks. It's troublesome but..." His face turned away towards the window again.

Tsunade's eyes widened. A smug smirk crossed her face. 'I knew it. He wanted some time with that blond-haired kunoichi. Now he needs to admit that he likes her.' Placing the official Hokage seal on the paper, Tsunade handed Shikamaru his passport with the approval to go to Sunagakure. "You have two weeks at Suna. Tell Temari-chan I said hi."

With a confused look, Shikamaru removed a hand from his pocket, took the passport and left. 'Why does everyone tell me to say 'hi' to Temari?' Sighing, he continued his slow walk home.

0o0o0o0

Outside the Kazekage Palace, several modifications were made. Shelters were being built. Escape routes were recorded. Evacuation tunnels were dug underground. Emergency water and food storages were established. The banging of hammers and the chiseling of rocks echoed throughout the village.

However, inside of the Kazekage Palace, it was a little more chaotic.

"Temari! Stop running around like a headless chicken!"

"I'm not running!"

Temari was running. She had heard that Shikamaru was going to be in Sunagakure tomorrow and was making last minute preparations. Clutched in her arms were fresh linen and new flowers. She wanted to make sure that the guest room looked nice and wasn't too stuffy.

She didn't let any of the other servants do the preparations. Temari did all of it herself. She knew that she was deviating from her work but she had already submitted the details to Gaara and Kankuro. Whatever problems that they had could be sorted out after the brown-haired chuunin arrived.

"Whew! All done!" Temari had spent the entire day doing chores. 'He better not say anything about how it looks.' She took one last look at the room and left.

The preparations were finished. At least, Shikamaru's room was.

0o0o0o0

Upon arriving at Sunagakure, Shikamaru went straight towards the Kazekage Palace. He wasn't sure whether to bring Chouji and Ino along or not. So he brought them anyway. If he didn't, Ino would complain endlessly about being left out, and she would definitely spread that rumour about him dating the Kazekage's sister. And he would feel too bad for not telling Chouji about the food, especially since he'll be staying in the Kazekage palace.

"It's always way too hot here," Ino complained from Shikamaru's right hand side as they walked into the village. She always complained about the heat or the sand or getting sweaty or it being too stuffy whenever Team Ten was in Sunagakure.

Asuma-sensei wasn't accompanying the three chuunin. He was needed on a mission, especially with the short supply of shinobi after the invasion. Of course, he wasn't worried about the three getting into any trouble. He was more worried about them not doing any work.

"Chouji! Stop eating so much! You'll end up in the hospital again after tonight's dinner!" Ino's yell drew the attention of nearby shopkeepers and patrons, causing the loud blond to clamp her mouth shut. A small blush crossed her face in embarrassment.

"But...munch munch...I'm hungry...munch munch..." Chouji was finishing his seventh bag of chips, and he still had a whole cake inside of his carrier pouch. When he opened his eighth bag, Ino couldn't take it anymore.

"Chouji, if you have to eat, at least eat something healthier."

Chouji's head turned to look at Ino. He thought for a moment then said, "Potatoes are healthy," while munching on chips.

Ino deflated a little. She knew that the only way to stop Chouji from eating was to give him something inedible, or stuff him until his stomach broke.

"Let's get to the Kazekage Palace before sunset." Shikamaru was trying to change the subject. "It gets really cold at night." However, his remark didn't go uncriticized.

"The nights are way too cold and the days are way too hot," Ino complained. She never liked missions involving Suna.

And neither did her teammates. Ino got more annoying, loud and irritable and her teammates suffered or their charge suffered the consequences. Mainly in the form of a very loud, annoying and nerve-grating complaint.

Sighing, Shikamaru attempted to quell his loud and obnoxious teammate. "Kazekage Palace is well aired. So, it's not stuffy or hot inside during the day. And at night, there are warm and soft beds. So, the surrounding frigidity isn't troublesome."

Ino was quiet in contemplation. Whenever Team Ten was at Suna, she had never stayed in the Kazekage Palace, so she didn't know these things. Shikamaru on the other hand...

"You seem very well-informed about the Kazekage Palace." A sly grin crossed her face as she shot Shikamaru a devilish look. "Is it because you're trying to steal away the Kazekage's sister?"

A slight blush crossed Shikamaru's face, or he would have blushed if he had to ability. But he couldn't blush and didn't. His eyes widened then furrowed as a deep frown flew onto his face. "I'm not trying to steal anything. I've been inside the Kazekage Palace many times to help with preparations and improvements on the relation between Suna and Konoha." He stuffed his hands deep into his pockets. "When I work late into the night, I stay in one of the guest rooms. They have a lot of them."

Ino knew that she couldn't argue with the guy. He has an IQ of over two hundred. So she just intertwined her fingers behind her back and began to skip ahead towards their destination. "You can deny it all you want, but everyone knows that you and Temari like each other!" She was singing and chirping as she skipped.

Shikamaru's lower lip jutted out as he and Chouji continued to walk slowly towards the Kazekage Palace. Chouji was eating and Shikamaru had his head tilted up to look at the clouds.

"Women are so troublesome."

Chouji just smiled and nodded in agreement before stuffing another chip into his mouth.

0o0o0o0

Gaara's head looked up from the piece of paper to look at the three Konoha-nin, then back at the piece of paper. He inwardly sighed before placing the letter into his desk. 'I'm trusting you with three of my most important shinobi. Do what you want, but don't kill them. Tsunade.'

Gaara sighed at the note... 'What did she think I was going to do?' …before looking at Shikamaru. "I thought you were coming alone." His monotonous voice held no emotions. However, with some seriously strained hearing, some irritation could be detected.

"I wouldn't be part of a team if I came alone." Shikamaru retorted with a frown. He didn't even cringe when Gaara narrowed his eyes and stared unblinkingly at him for some time. He had grown accustomed to Gaara's stares over the past year.

He might have been scared when they first met during the chuunin exams a year and a half ago, but having to be around the guy afterwards wasn't too bad after a few weeks. He still couldn't tell when Gaara was serious about killing him or when he was joking. Gaara did threaten to kill him during the chuunin exams in the hospital once. He might decide to actually do it one of these days.

Clutching his head in an attempt to ward off the pain, Gaara stalked past the two frozen genin and the green-clad jounin. When he reached the doorway, he placed his hand heavily on the doorpost and turned very slowly to face the blond-haired boy and the brunette.

"I will definitely kill you two." Gaara's eyes narrowed as the frown on his face slightly deepened. He slowly lifted his hand and continued on his way.

Shikamaru didn't budge. He wasn't backing down to the stare for even a second. He knew that the only way to show Gaara that he wasn't weak was to stare back. If he cringed or showed even the slightest hint of fear, he knew that the redhead wouldn't even hesitate to take advantage of it.

Gaara was about to say something when the door suddenly burst open.

"Just because you don't like it, doesn't mean that everyone does! You should consider the preferences of everyone rather than just yourself!" Temari was shouting at her stupid brother. A handful of papers were clutched tightly in one hand and another set of papers were clutched in the other.

Gaara's face frowned in annoyance. He was interrupted.

"I don't just 'don't like it', I hate it!" Kankuro was screaming his head off. "Spinach is evil! It looks disgusting and it tastes even worse." He retorted with great conviction. He was really against the green vegetable.

Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino had stepped aside to allow the bickering siblings to walk towards the Kazekage desk. They wanted no part in their dispute.

Temari turned towards Gaara and plopped the handful of papers on his desk. "These were the new order forms that were completed three weeks ago." Her voice was slowly calming down. She was ignoring Kankuro's pouting and weird faces. However, knowing that he was doing it behind her back was causing her left eye brow to twitch uncontrollably.

"Kankuro changed the orders for all of the meat shops! He changed the order to eighty kilograms of ground beef instead of twenty!" Her tolerance fizzled. She turned around, completely catching Kankuro in the act of making a stupid face, and whacked him in the head. "And he scratched off all the new orders of spinach from all the lists of produce!" Another whack to Kankuro's head.

Kankuro was lying sprawled on the ground. Temari's foot was a blur on top of his bloodied body, not allowing him the slightest chance to do a kawarimi or to get away.

Gaara's patience dried at that. His sand gently wrapped around Temari's waist, causing her eyes to widen and the frown on her face to disappear, and placed her in front of Shikamaru and his team.

"Show them to their rooms." Gaara already had a small headache developing from the improvements that were going on in the village. It grew exponentially after the unexpected interruption.

Temari just nodded towards Gaara. She gave him the fresh set of papers from her other hand before she left the room with the three shinobi.

Gaara walked over to his sprawled, bloodied and unconscious brother, looked down and gave him a hard kick in the stomach. "Baka."

0o0o0o0

Ino's eyes widened at the sight of her room. 'Wow! S-sugoi!' She went straight for the bed and plopped down face first.

"Oi! Shikamaru, you really stayed in a room like this?"

"Aah..." Shikamaru wasn't paying any attention. Almost every room in the palace looked the same as any other room in a regular house. He was surprised by how disheveled his room was.

"Shikamaru, this is your room." Temari had already showed Chouji his room. Next was Shikamaru. She had a wide smirk on her face.

'He must be surprised.' She made sure he was COMFORTABLE in his room.

Chouji and Ino didn't want to know what Shikamaru did to Temari to make her do this. They wanted to stay as far away from this as possible.

"I would've thought that the room would be more ravaged." Shikamaru WAS surprised. He just didn't show it.

'More…ravaged.' Everyone could hear the sound of Temari's teeth grinding. She was trying really hard to suppress the urge to summon Kamaitachi to behead an annoying deer.

Shikamaru was glad to have something else distract his loud teammate. "Let's go, Chouji. The kitchen is this way."

He also needed something to get his mind off his room.

Chouji nodded his head and allowed his brown-haired teammate to lead the way.

Ino didn't even notice that they had ditched her. She was too absorbed in her surroundings. 'Hmm... Now that I think about it... If Shikamaru ends up dating Temari, he'll be staying in rooms like these all the time.' She stared at the fairly plain ceiling, even though there was a fairly large, glass chandelier hanging there. 'But...' Her mind went off into plotting mode. She knew that dating the sibling of a kage had its perks, but what she had up her sleeves was far more daring.

'Yosh! Then it's settled! I'm going to try to forget about baka-Sasuke-yaro. The guy's probably turned into Orochimaru by now. And set my heart on someone new!'

Ino went straight to the desk and looked in the mirror. 'I'll have to seduce him at dinner tonight.' Lucky for her, she had brought all of her make-up and all of her fancy clothes in case Temari needed anything for a date. But, using them for this plan wasn't going to stop Ino from using them for her original purpose.

'He's certainly changed a lot since the last time I saw him. He's gotten cuter, stronger, and less scary. He might actually turn out to be a decent boyfriend with a little work here and there.'

0o0o0o0

Gaara sighed in his office. He was able to correct most of the trouble Kankuro had created. But that was not what was occupying his mind. It was the random report his eyes had fallen upon a few days ago.

"Kankuro, what is this doing here?" Gaara held up the report. It wasn't a progress report or a medical report or any other report that a kage had to sort through. It was...

"Huh? Oh! That? That's just the...uh...the...uh..." Kankuro was looking in all directions except the one direction that would direct his eyes to Gaara's freezing stare. "Ahhahaha...ha...ha...ha...ha-ow did this get here? Ahha...ha...ha..." He tried to get the report back from Gaara's hands but when he did, Gaara pulled the report away, leaving Kankuro's hand hanging limp in the air. He slowly retracted it to scratch his head.

"G-Gaara, it's not what it looks like." Kankuro waved both hands in front of himself defensively. "I-it was Baki-sensei! Chiyo-baasama! Ebizou-jiisama!" He was spouting out any name that came to mind, even names of those who were dead or missing. "Ojii-sama!"

'Ojii-sama? He's been missing for over twenty years.' Gaara's eyes narrowed. 'And, he's probably dead.'

"Obaa-sama!"

'Dead for over thirty years.'

"Otousama!"

'Dead for a year and a half.'

"Karasu!"

'...' Gaara threw a report at Kankuro's head. 'Now, he's being a baka again.'

"..." Kankuro picked up the report that had hit his head and placed it back on top of a pile. "You should at least take a look at it, like, it IS important." His arms shot up defensively in case of any projecting booklets, his eyes closed tight to brace for impacting sand.

But nothing happened.

"..." Gaara sighed inwardly. He placed the report inside his desk, hoping everyone would forget about it. "How are the preparations?" He wanted to change the subject. His head was throbbing enough as it was.

"..." Gaara got up from his desk. He picked up his gourd and shunshin-ed to the roof. He needed some time to self-reflect.

'Temari has a boyfriend, but doesn't want to admit it. Kankuro has no luck finding a girlfriend, so he's a good barrier to defend against fangirls. The elders... They're annoying. Sandaime Hokage became a kage when he was half my age and no one tried to get him to find a wife.'

Gaara disappeared and reappeared in his room. He placed his gourd down next to the bed and plopped down on the bed. 'Baka-elders. They're getting more and more annoying.'

Kill them.

'No.'

Kill them.

'No.'

They all hate you, so kill them all.

'No.'

They don't deserve to live for making you do this. Kill them. Spill their blood. Let me drink their pain. KILL THEM ALL!

'Gomen nasai, Kasan.' Gaara held his head. 'I'll feed you later.' He got up. He had dozed off for a few minutes.

The sun was setting.

"..." He looked around at the once clean room. The bed was shredded, the stuffing pulled out. All the furniture was smashed and the walls, ceiling and floor were slashed with claw marks. Glass and splinters littered the floor.

Gaara sighed before getting up. 'Dinner's almost ready.' He exited the room and walked towards the dining hall.

ANBU immediately began to clean up the decimated room.

End Chapter 4

0o0o0o0

Sand's crazy last words:

Fire: From now on, I'm calling Baki, Baka-Baki. It's cute, isn't it? (turns to Baki)

Baki: No.

Fire: Yes. It is. Now, agree with me.

Baki: No.

Fire: (kicks Baki into the ground) Now, review before Sand comes back from the bathroo—

Sasuke: (walks up all wet, yells at Fire) WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME!

Fire: (runs away) Ja! And review!

Gaara: Review or I'll kill you.

Sasuke: That's not how you threaten the readers.

Kankuro: N-No! Don't yell at Gaara again!

Gaara: Then how do you do it?

Sasuke: (turns to the audience and performs four seals) Review or suffer under my Ryuuka no Jutsu!

Sand: (ducks the fire attack) Just close the window before you die.

Sasuke: And review!

Sand: (grabs Sasuke) Swirly!