What happened…

Sand: (being pulled in front of the window by Gaara) Stop pulling me!

Gaara: (narrows eyes at Sand) …

Sand: (sighs and waves hand limply) Hai, hai. Gomen, gomen for not posting this chapter sooner. No excuses. Was in a writers block.

Gaara: You're lazy.

Sand: Urusai! Go find Fire and put Fire out with a swirly.

Gaara: (dissolves into sand and shunshins away) …

Ino: (grabbing the review window from Baki) What do you mean go out with Kankuro? He's too ugly!

Kankuro: I'm not ugly! And I'm way stronger than Gaara. (Gaara's sand smacks Kankuro in the face) O.O;; Uh…I mean almost as strong as Gaara. (Gaara's sand smacks Kankuro in the face) o.o;;; Well, at least I'm stronger than Temari.

Temari: (hits Kankuro in the head with her fan) He's too stupid to go out with.

Ino: (nodding her head) Obviously…

Sand: (sweatdrops and ignores what everyone's saying in the background) Okay, the story's going to get crazier. So, bear with it. I'm gonna go Sasuke-hunting now. I'm also currently in a Neji-hunt. If you want to join, grab a net. (points at the bundle of fish nets in a corner of the window) Well, here's the next chapter. (slaps the chapter onto the window and runs into Otogakure)

0o0o0o0

Chapter 7: Matchmaker

Baki wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not, but he didn't have the right to lecture the Kazekage about what he should and shouldn't do. "Kazekage-sama, you look..." Baki turned away for a second. He was trying to hide his reddening face. 'Chikusho! How am I supposed to say this to him? He'll kill me!' "...nice." At best, this was the only appropriate and unoffensive thing that came to mind.

Gaara looked at his mirror's reflection. 'I didn't think this was possible.' He finished his sand disguise. 'I think I'm being over influenced by Uzumaki Naruto.' A solemn sigh escaped his partially open lips at the thought. The idea of becoming Naruto was devastating.

When Gaara opened the door, saying a lot of people turned their heads to stare was an understatement. Everyone froze, the sound of items dropping to the ground sounding. Hushed voices and strange stares fixed on Gaara as he made his way down the hallway towards Temari's room. He knew she wouldn't be anywhere else. She had to fix her room after destroying it.

'My plan is working a little too well. I hope no one recognizes me.' Then, he adjusted his sand mask and had the sand lift his dress a little so he wouldn't trip over it.

0o0o0o0

Temari was consoling the stressed Ino while trying to clean her room. "That baka was being idiotic when he said that you were annoying and loud." Temari knew that those were words you should never tell a friend let alone a girl. But it was the truth. Shikamaru's insights were too accurate.

And insulting him was like insulting Kankuro. The words were too similar.

Temari sighed as she tried to listen to Ino's complaints, opinions and point of views. At least when she listened, she could ignore the fact that Gaara was pressuring her into a relationship with Shikamaru. 'Arrgh! There must be better ways to increase relations between our villages!' Listening to Ino suddenly wasn't working.

Fortunately, there was a knock at the door to save Temari from screaming aloud.

Temari and Ino gawked at the unknown visitor. The face wasn't even remotely familiar.

'Maybe she lost her way and went to the wrong room?' Their minds simultaneously tried to find a reason for this strange girl bundled in cloaks being at Temari's door. 'She's pretty.'

'She seems very familiar...' Temari thought as she stared at those light green eyes. 'Maybe it's one of the girls that Kankuro or Baki is trying to set Gaara up with.'

But Ino's thoughts went in a different direction. She glared annoyedly at the new girl. This girl, who came out of nowhere, was prettier, taller and curvier than her! 'I haven't seen her around here. Who is—' Ino's eyes widened as the thought formed in her mind. 'Maybe she's the Kazekage's girlfriend!' Depression filled Ino. That meant she didn't even have a chance of snagging him.

'I can't believe Temari can't recognize me in this disguise.' Gaara wasn't sure whether to be proud or insulted by this outcome. He had simply followed Baki's instructions on the behaviour and appearance so he could go undercover and get Temari together with Shikamaru. Failure wouldn't be tolerated!

"Konnichiwa! Nakoudo-des. I lost my way and I must have gone to the wrong room," Gaara said with the cheery female voice that he had perfected with Baki's help. But he was still going to hurt him later. However, that annoying, airheaded voice was enough to draw the two blond kunoichi's interest. They wouldn't let an opportunity like this slip by. They were too easy to read. He knew of their intentions from the beginning. It was easy to infiltrate Temari's room.

"Matchmaker?" Both girls raised a suspicious eyebrow. 'She doesn't look like one.' Although the idea of having a matchmaker in the palace for Gaara made sense, both girls had the image of an old woman somewhat similar to Chiyo in their minds, not a young girl like this, who was much more suited to be Gaara's bride than Gaara's matchmaker.

"Hontou, hontou ni gomen nasai! For interrupting you, I'll give you both a free matchmaking session!" The girl smiled brightly.

Gaara's masked voice wasn't particularly high. In fact, it was close to his original voice, just higher by a couple notes, which scared him over the fact that Temari still didn't realize that it was her little brother. 'Do I really sound like a girl?' Or it was the way he was saying it...

Temari looked warily at her sudden visitor. This was too suspicious. "I don't need a match—"

But Ino wanted the free matchmaker session. And it was free! "Kyaa! Free? Really?" Her hands had already wrapped around the matchmaker's arm and half-dragged her into Temari's room before the elder kunoichi could finish refusing.

Gaara groaned inwardly. 'This is too easy.' So easy that it was ominously scary. He hoped he wasn't burying himself in a hole.

0o0o0o0

After ten minutes, a dark figure with long blond hair was huddled in the shady corner of the room, her arms around her legs. "I...don't match Sasuke-kun. I don't match Kazekage-sama." Devastation hit her as soon as she heard that her match was someone unexpected and older.

'This matchmaker is suspicious,' Temari thought as she watched the matchmaker. This person probably leaned of Gaara's reputation before she came, and had heard of Sasuke's reputation from travel. She probably deduced that Ino was inappropriate for both with the information she had gathered. But who was this unexpected, older guy? 'Maybe I can catch this fraud in the act.' Temari's face darkened with a malicious plan.

"There are a few questions that I want you to answer," Temari said slyly.

"..." Gaara wasn't going to allow his observations go to waste. He knew he could easily answer all of Temari's questions without fail.

"Who does Sakura-chan like?"

"Uchiha Sasuke." This answer was obvious. "But he doesn't like her."

"Who does Naruto like?"

"Haruno Sakura." This was obvious too. "But she doesn't like him."

"Who does Hinata-chan like?" Temari knew that the matchmaker wouldn't know who Hinata was.

"Uzumaki Naruto." But Gaara was more observant than Temari gave him credit for. "But he would never notice her."

"..." Temari was momentarily fazed. "Who does Asuma-sensei like?"

"Kurenai-sensei." Gaara was getting bored. He was just recounting his observations. "And she likes him too."

"..." Temari was irked. This girl couldn't possibly be a real matchmaker! "Who does Shikamaru like?"

"..." Gaara didn't want to answer that question. It was like admitting the truth about the relationship between his sister and a lazy chuunin.

"He likes several people. But in terms of that way, he likes you." Gaara wanted to dissolve into his sand and disappear.

But if he did that, he would expose his cover.

"..." Temari's eyes narrowed at the matchmaker. 'This nakoudo-san is very accurate. Too accurate. How does she know all of these people?' These accurate readings were too suspicious. It was like talking to a kitsune…or a tanuki.

0o0o0o0

Shikamaru's head was pressed against the door, his eyes widening in surprise as the female voice brought news of who like Temari. 'Ah...mendokuse.' He scratched his head as he moved away from the door. 'I need to find a way to get Ino out without them knowing I need to leave Suna.'

"Shi—"

Shikamaru quickly clamped Chouji's mouth shut before his cover could be blown. "Shh...!" He didn't want the people inside to know that he was listening. The girls would do horrible things to him!

Then an idea struck Shikamaru.

0o0o0o0

A light knock rapped on Temari's door.

Temari pushed the door open, just enough to peer out. "Chouji?" She knew she had heard correctly. That was Chouji's voice, but it sounded like he was trying to call out to someone a moment ago. "What are you doing here?"

"..." Chouji's body broke out in cold sweat. "I...need to…talk to Ino." He wasn't sure about this plan…but Shikamaru was supposed to be a genius. And even a crazy genius under pressure could make up good plans, right?

"Yosh! Chouji, you're going to infiltrate that room and find out what they're talking about." Shikamaru knew there was something going on inside that room. He just didn't know what it was.

"But..." Chouji thought apprehensively of the simple mission given to him by his friend. "It's Temari-san's room." He didn't want to barge into someone else's room without her permission. "Wouldn't it be easier if you went in?"

Shikamaru knew Temari better than Chouji, and it made sense to send in the one with more familiarity. They don't even use honourifics when addressing one another! However... "We're avoiding each other...for a while." Shikamaru sounded like he had a fight with the jounin and now they were no longer talking to each other. Like a fight between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. His face flushed at the thought.

'Shikamaru and Temari-san always argue. They must have had a really large fight this time,' Chouji thought as he gave his friend a smile and nodded his head. He couldn't abandon Shikamaru when he needed his help. "Daijoubou. I'll get into that room."

Chouji waited for Temari to send out Ino so that the three could leave, but Temari wasn't turning into her room. The Suna-kunoichi only looked at Chouji with a strange look in her eyes. 'I'm going to expose that matchmaker for a fraud.' And Chouji was just the right person that she needed for her plan!

"Talk to her inside." Temari pulled a confused Chouji inside her room and slammed the door shut before Chouji could stop her.

Shikamaru fell out of hiding as Chouji disappeared. 'Kuso. I was so sure that this plan would work.' He forgot to calculate the mystery person into his plan. He didn't know who it was and had assumed it was only one of Temari's friends.

So, he made a miscalculation again.

'Gomen, Chouji.' He was probably never going to see him again. Chouji had disappeared into a room full of girls. Who knew what kind of torture they were putting him through?

0o0o0o0

After a few minutes, Chouji floated out with a look of utmost bliss on his face. But he didn't have Ino with him.

"Oi! Daijoubou? What happened? Chouji! Oi!" Shikamaru was trying to snap his friend out of whatever spell he was under. But it wasn't working.

"Shikamaru..." Chouji was smiling contentedly. "There was a really pretty matchmaker inside." He didn't even notice the creepy light green eyes.

"Matchmaker?" Shikamaru was somewhat confused. 'What's a matchmaker doing inside Temari's room?' It didn't make any sense. He didn't remember any news of a matchmaker being in the Kazekage Palace.

But he had been here for a while.

And it was the Kazekage Palace. Strange things occurred within these walls.

"Oi! What did that matchmaker say to you?" Curiosity filled Shikamaru as his mind failed to recall anything on the topic. 'What did that matchmaker say to give Chouji that expression?' It was the same mindless expression that Ino had when Sasuke was still around.

"She said that I will find a girlfriend in the near future." Chouji's smile grew wider. "And she said that I was going to get stronger."

Shikamaru's mind numbed. 'G-g-girlfriend!' He understood the part about getting stronger, but a girlfriend? He refused to believe it.

Of course, he didn't doubt his friend's abilities to attract girls. He was a nice guy. But when the word 'girlfriend' came to Shikamaru's mind. Gaara's words really struck him hard again.

Pro: Temari-neechan really likes this boy.

Pro: He likes her as well.

Shikamaru's eyes blanked at the memory. 'Chikusho! Why am I thinking about something as troublesome as that?'

Con: He won't confess this.

Con: Neither will she.

It wasn't like he was going to act on anything. He really didn't think of Temari that way. It was only Gaara's wishful thinking.

At least this was what Shikamaru wanted to believe.

End Chapter 7

0o0o0o0

Sand's Report:

Gaara: (gives Sand a death glare) Why am I a girl?

Sand: You should be happy I didn't make you do orioke no jutsu. (smiles)

Gaara: (shivers at Sand's smile) …

Sand: Besides… Chou-kawaii! (grabs Gaara and hugs him)

Gaara: (dissolves into sand and moves away from Sand) …

Temari: Gaara, have you seen where Nakoudo-san went?

Gaara: …

Chouji: Does that matchmaker have a guarantee to what she said?

Gaara: …

Shikamaru: (stares at Gaara) … (thinks:This guy was that girl. I still don't believe it.)

Naruto: What girl? (turns to Gaara) Have you seen this cute girl, Gaara?

Gaara: (sweatdrops) No.

Sand: (stares at Gaara) …

Naruto: Temari, introduce this girl to me! I want to meet her!

Temari: (turns to Naruto) S---

Gaara: (interrupts Temari) No.

Naruto: (cries) Waah! Gaara, bakayaro, why can't I meet her? You haven't even seen her face!

Shikamaru: Don't get me involved in this. (leaves)

Temari: This story's about you too, baka! (runs after Shikamaru)

Chouji: I need more food. (goes to Sand's kitchen)

Gaara: …

Sand: Of course Gaara has seen her face. He's even met her before. They have a lot of things in common. (snickers)

Gaara: (sand within gourd starts to swirl) …

Sand: You want to kill me? Huh? Do ya? You can't because I'm Sand! Mwuahahahahahahaha…

Gaara: (ignores Sand, throws Naruto out the window before he could ask anymore annoying questions and turns towards the audience) No stupid reviews asking for a picture of me in a girl's outfit or I'll kill you!

Sand: (hugs Gaara) That's not a nice thing to say. Just review. The Neji and Sasuke hunts will start next chapter.

Naruto: (shouting from outside the window) I'll catch Sasuke before you do! I already have a net!