The Trouble With Boys Is…

by CidGregor

Rated T

"Hey Starfire?"

"Yes friend Terra?"

"Do you ever….do stuff…with Robin?"

Starfire munched merrily on a spoonful of ice cream, a careless drop splattering the leg of her pajamas. "Certainly! Why just this afternoon we ventured to the mall of shopping and I purchased for him a most fascinating book about--"

"N-no, Star, that's not how I mean…" Terra said as she brushed back a stray strand of hair and stared holes into the soles of her bunny slippers.

"Oh…forgive me, friend, I have assumed incorrectly," Starfire replied, serving herself another spoon of her frozen dessert. "Are you sure you would not like to join me in eating the iced cream? Its flavor is of a glorious mint!"

"I'm not hungry," Terra insisted.

Starfire shrugged. "Very well then. Now what precisely was your meaning a few moments ago?"

Terra nervously rubbed the back of her head and fidgeted from her place at the foot of Starfire's bed. "I was wondering if you and Robin ever did…like…boyfriend and girlfriend stuff."

Starfire brightened at that. "Oh, you refer to the courtship! Why yes, Robin and I have shared many an enjoyable outing together--"

"No, Star, not that boyfriend and girlfriend stuff," Terra suddenly sighed. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

Starfire frowned slightly, confused. "Have I said something wrong? I was merely attempting to do the 'girl talk' as you desired…"

Terra shook her head, wanting little else than to get out of there at that moment. "It's not your fault, Starfire, you just…don't know…about that sort of stuff, y'know?"

Starfire's frown grew rapidly more pronounced, almost annoyed. "Now how on earth can you assume such a thing if you are not speaking clearly to me about what you wish to discuss?"

Terra inwardly sighed and made a frustrated gesture. "Star, isn't it obvious?"

Starfire shook her head. "Truthfully, no. Perhaps I am simply not well-versed enough in your earth slang to make the connection you seem to be searching for, in which case I would suggest you do the equally simple thing and tell me just what--"

"Oh for the love of god, Starfire, I'm talking about….about sex stuff!" Terra snapped.

Starfire's eyes widened a little in surprise, but she maintained her composure otherwise. "You see, that was not so difficult to say."

Terra grumbled under her breath, embarrassed. "Yeah, right."

"Though I suppose your earlier secrecy does make sense now," Starfire observed, almost more to herself than to Terra. "It is so strange…you earthlings have placed so many levels of taboo upon something so utterly natural and vital to the circle of life. You are not the first I have encountered to fear the mere mention of physical passion."

Terra raised a curious eyebrow. "You mean it's not like that where you're from?"

Starfire shook her head bemusedly. "Oh, X'Hal, no! Tamaranians are far more open with our emotions. We speak quite freely about love and its various expressions. It was difficult to see such a difference here, to make such an adjustment. It was a lesson I learned quite abruptly."

Terra's interest level jumped suddenly. "….Robin?" she guessed.

Starfire nodded quite unabashedly.

Terra sat back down, far more willing to continue their talk now. "I've change my mind on the ice cream….got a spoon?"

Starfire inexplicably produced an extra spoon from somewhere and handed it to the other girl. Terra took it gratefully and dug out a scoop of green mint-flavored ice cream with crunchy chocolate chips mixed in to them and stuck in her mouth, savoring the taste. "Alright, so spill, what happened?"

Starfire sighed a bit. "I suppose I cannot blame him for how his culture has shaped him…but nevertheless, it was most bothersome when he was doing things…saying things…that any Tamaranian would take as a clear sign of strong interest and attraction, and in fact not truly meaning it in that way. I assumed – mistakenly – that he would be more than eager to explore a more physical form of passion, and when that did not occur, well…you can imagine my frustrations."

Terra blinked in surprise, entirely not used to talking so frankly about such a subject.

"It was perhaps a week after the beginning of our courtship," Starfire pressed on. "He said that it was 'too soon' to become quite that intimate. I have since attempted to be patient, but Robin seems entirely reluctant to explore the physical aspects of romance, and…as I have said, it is…most frustrating."

Terra found herself nodding along almost subconsciously. "Uh-huh…I can imagine."

Starfire was silent for a moment, then turned to gaze at Terra. "Oh, but I have complained for long enough…please, Terra, do tell me more about your courtship with Beast Boy."

Terra abruptly became nervous again. "It's okay, Starfire," she said, growing slightly red. "I don't really need to talk about BB…"

Starfire's stare grew annoyed again. "Terra, you are my friend, and I wish for this 'girl talk' to proceed successfully, but it cannot do so if you are not willing to speak openly and honestly with me."

Terra felt her cheeks warm and tried not to let it show. "Really, I promise, Starfire, there's…nothing to talk about, I swear…"

"Then what are we doing here?" Starfire quickly countered. "Surely it was not your sole purpose, coming here and requesting the 'girl talk,' to question the depths of my relationship with Robin."

Terra's blush grew more pronounced as she realized that Starfire was right on the money. "W-well…I…"

Starfire's stare eased. "Friend, I assure you that you are free to speak about anything with me, in any manner you choose. I shall not judge you for it. Truly, I encourage more openness between friends."

This seemed to ease Terra's nerves as well, because her next words spilled forth before she hardly realized she'd said them.

"It's just that BB can be so….childish sometimes!"

Starfire nodded. "I most certainly understand your meaning."

As though a gate had opened, Terra went on. "It's not like I don't like his jokes, or that he doesn't make me laugh or whatever, I really do love his sense of humor, and we have a lot of fun together…"

Starfire nodded along, sensing what was next. "But…?"

Terra threw up her hands. "But it's like he doesn't even see me as a…girlfriend. It's more like he sees us as hang-out buddies. I like spendin' time with him, but every time we do it's always this…goofy thing, like seeing who can eat a whole pizza the fastest, or who can make the best fart noises. I wanna do something romantic for once, y'know? Stuff real boyfriends and girlfriends do. That's kinda why I came to you. I wanted to know what kind of romantic stuff you and Robin do."

Starfire sighed again, the frown back on her face. "I do wish I could help you in that regard, friend Terra…but Robin has been so very shy of exploring such things."

Terra nodded. "I understand. He always did strike me as the uptight type."

Starfire's annoyed frown grew more pronounced. "Even the simple action of kissing me is one he is reluctant to perform when in the presence of anyone besides ourselves. It is almost as though he is…embarrassed of me."

"Oh, Star, I'm sure he's not…embarrassed of you…he's probably just, y'know…shy or something."

Starfire didn't look too satisfied with that answer. If anything her frown grew more pronounced, and her eyes stared sadly into her ice cream.

"Star? What is it?"

Starfire's eyes glazed over, and a vague smile crossed her face. "I just wish…he would stand with me, dozens of people around us, and not be terrified of even looking at me. That he would do like they do in your movies, and kiss me right then and there and not care who sees."

Terra too let a vague grin cross her face. "Sounds a bit different from what I was picturing."

Starfire looked at her with renewed interest and set the ice cream aside. "Oh? Please, what is it you picture, friend?"

Terra blushed somewhat. "Well…it's kind of cheesy, but…"

Starfire leaned forward and nodded, urging her onward.

"…I kinda…I kinda picture…bein' at a carnival. Me and BB spend the whole evening there, doin' all kinda of fun stuff together…and then at the end of the night we're just sitting next to each other, on the Ferris wheel…"

Starfire leaned in a little closer. "Yes?"

Terra closed her eyes, letting the miniature fantasy play out in her head. "We're sitting there, quietly, just enjoying each other's company…and all of a sudden, he takes my hand…"

In her head, she felt her mental image of Beast Boy take her hand in his…at least, she thought it was her mental image…or was she actually feeling it…?

"An' then he…puts his other hand on my cheek…"

On some not-quite-conscious level, Terra was almost positive she was getting lost in her fantasy, because she could swear she was really feeling Beast Boy's strangely delicate touch on her face…

"An' he smiles…an' just…leans in, and…"

At that moment, the blurring line between fantasy and reality seemed to break completely, as she felt Beast Boy's lips on hers…at least they were his in her head. But as she began to smell hints of lavender and tasted a vague cherry flavor in the lips – decidedly un-Beast Boy traits – she made herself open her eyes to end the fantasy…only to find Starfire leaning into her, tenderly kissing her.

Pure shock kept Terra from jerking away immediately, combined with some mix of wonder at how enjoyable it was, surprise that she found it so enjoyable, and a vague sense of panic at what Beast Boy might think if he saw them.

Starfire soon broke the kiss on her own, smiling at her. "Something like that, perhaps?"

Terra stared, her mouth moving almost automatically. "Y…yeah…something like that…" Suddenly she shook her head. "Why did you--?"

Starfire kept right on smiling, though her gaze was not quite on her. "I simply wished to give your dream a bit of reality, since Beast Boy has not yet done so himself."

Terra blinked in surprise. "Oh…uhm…thanks, I guess…"

Starfire's smile widened, though again it wasn't aimed right at her. "And perhaps to make him…jealous."

Terra frowned. "Jealous? How would he get jealous if he didn't know about it?"

Starfire gestured past her for the third time. Terra finally took the hint, turned, and abruptly squeaked. "Beast Boy!"

Indeed, the changeling was framed in the doorway, which had somehow been left unlocked, and he stared at the sight before him, eyes as small as dots, jaw hanging open.

"Duuuuude…" he murmured, blood rushing out of his face, and fainted a moment later.

Terra covered her face in her hands. "Busted…"

Starfire giggled. "Yes, perhaps we should retire for the evening."

Terra hurried to the door and knelt over her boyfriend's limp body, looking him over quickly for bruises. "Mmm…maybe if I get him into bed, he'll think it was all a dream when he wakes up…"

Starfire simply smiled. "This has been most fun, friend Terra. Perhaps we might do the girl talk again sometime?"

Despite herself, Terra found herself smiling back. "Yeah…I'd like that."

"And perhaps we can continue exploring our dreams, yes?"

Terra blushed. "Eh-heh…y-yeah…maybe…"

And without another word she left, dragging her boyfriend's limp form after her.

THE END