Chapter Eighteen

Trixx was curled up on the desk, staring blankly at the wall when Nino woke up.

The kwami glanced at him as he got up, not returning his 'good morning', causing Nino to frown. His room was silent as he got ready for the day, Trixx's gaze having returned to the wall, putting Nino on edge. He had thought the little dude would be in a better mood after having been able to meet up with Blue's kwami, but it seemed things might not have gone down according to plan.

"...Do you know why you find yourself on a timer after using your powers?" Trixx asked after a while, breaking the silence.

"Um, it's because you run out of energy, right?" Nino said uncertainly.

Trixx gave a dry chuckle. "But do you know why we kwamis get so exhausted in the first place? It's because you're a child. Your body cannot fully handle the raw affects of our powers– and so we take the blow instead. It's like that for any transformation, really, but children tend to need the most protection. Our energy doesn't fully merge with yours."

Nino swallowed. "I... I didn't know. I'm sorry–"

"It's nothing much, just a bit tiring," Trixx cut him off, flicking his tail. "The thing is, we kwamis are far more powerful than you can imagine, Nino. We are living embodiments of the forces of the universe. We crafted the reality you live in on a scale you can't imagine. For us to reign in our powers to work on something so small as Earth... it's nearly impossible."

Nino wasn't sure why he was telling him this– Trixx had always been very guarded about information related to the Miraculous, and he had done his best to respect that. Normally he would be interested in learning more, but with the somber voice Trixx spoke with Nino couldn't help but be on edge.

"That's why we have Miraculouses," Trixx finished softly. "They limit our powers so they can be safely used by humans. They give us a physical form to inhabit this world with you. They're vessels of powerful magic, and if one were to break... that is when the magic truly becomes dangerous."

"What happens?" Nino asked quietly.

"If a Miraculous is fully destroyed, nothing. We kwamis simply take on a spiritual state once more and can no longer inhabit this realm. But if it's just broken... things happen. We kwamis become stuck in almost a limbo. Still having a physical form, but our mind is ripped from it. A kwami of a broken Miraculous tends to be unaware of what's truly happening around them, unknowingly embracing the elements of their concept. We're stuck in two states, not whole until the Miraculous is fixed or destroyed."

"Why are you telling me this?" Nino asked, heart pounding.

"But for the human that wears the Miraculous, it's far worse," Trixx continued, not answering his question. "The kwami is no longer taking the full brunt of the magic in their place, and so the human bears that burden. It wears on them, hurts them, and manifests itself in physical ailments. It gets worse and worse, and the day it fully claims the human, when they can no longer manifest consciousness... It's too late. Their spirit has passed on even if their body still 'lives'."

"Trixx, what are you trying to say?" Nino asked, feeling tears in his eyes.

"...Duusu wasn't herself last night," Trixx said softly. "She wasn't fully aware of her situation, that she was even in the wrong hands. She was dismissive of things kwamis would usually be horrified of." The kwami finally turned towards him, gaze sorrowful. "What we've been seeing with Blue Wing was no allergies. He's been using a broken Miraculous."

"What... what do you mean?" Nino whispered, heart pounding.

"Hawk Moth had to know what he was doing," Trixx said bitterly. "With Nooroo there... Hawk Moth would know what a broken Miraculous meant. What harm it would do. I don't know if Blue Wing truly has allergies or if that was just what he was told, but now he's no longer worrying about each 'symptom' that pops up!"

"Are... are you saying he's–?"

"He's slowly dying, Nino!" Trixx shouted. "The coughing we've seen? Not allergies! That's the Miraculous sapping away at him, and it's only going to get worse! And guess what, he's 'lucky', you know why? Because Miraculous magic is meant to not fully connect with children, so it's not taking him as fast as it could have. Hawk Moth handed his own child the same object that killed his wife, probably knowing that his son would last longer with it!"

Trixx was up in the air now, tears pooling in his eyes.

"Duusu said her last holder was his mother. Last night Blue Wing said his mother was no longer with them, and Duusu... she said that she was 'sleeping'." His fur was puffed up. "She fell to the Peacock Miraculous, Nino, and whatever 'sleeping' form they have is basically an empty husk! And if Blue keeps using that Miraculous it will be the same for him and Hawk Moth knows it! He has to!"

Nino was silent– because what sort of reply could he give to that? Blue Wing... Blue Wing was dying. His father knew, had handled him the very magic that was doing so– and was doing nothing about it.

His stomach churned, a bitter taste in his mouth– and Nino wanted to throw up. But his stomach was empty, and in the moment, he didn't think that he could move. So he just sat there, frozen, Trixx's words echoing in his mind. He closed his eyes, struggling to find any words.

"I... I need to go find him," Nino muttered, pushing himself to his feet, touching his Miraculous. "I need to tell him, we need to go now–"

"Kit, wait–"

"Wait? Wait!? How on earth am I supposed to wait when he could be– be d-dying! Trixx, let's–!"

"We can't rush into this blindly!" Trixx shouted, cutting off Nino before he could transform. "What do you think is going to happen when you tell him, Nino? What do you think Blue will do? Do you think he would stop using the Miraculous?"

"He's dying–"

Trixx floated right in front of Nino's face. "This is the boy that put on the Butterfly Miraculous when he didn't want to akumatized anyone. Who fights against Ladybug when he has no desire to. Blue Wing has looked you in the eye and has told you he deserves what he goes through at home."

Nino covered his mouth.

"Do you have a guarantee that Blue Wing will stop when you tell him how dangerous the Miraculous is? That he would prioritize his own safety above what his father has asked of him? What if he keeps wearing it, Nino? What if he doesn't take it off?"

"Stop," Nino muttered.

"Or do you have any guarantee that he will believe you?" Trixx continued. "Duusu isn't in the state of mind to realize what's happening, and what if Nooroo has been ordered to answer otherwise? What if Blue Wing's dear sire tells him that the Fox wielder is lying to him? Is he going to listen to you over his own family?"

"Stop!" Nino cried. "Stop– just stop!"

"Nino? Dear? Are you alright?" His mother's voice echoed from down the hall and Nino clasped his hand over his mouth to try to muffle his crying. After a painful swallow he managed to find his voice, though it was shaky.

"I was j-just dreaming," Nino managed to force out, and he felt sick at the lie. How many of them had he told since he had gotten this necklace?

But what if Blue Wing didn't believe him?

"Are you sure?" Lucie asked, clearly worried, and Nino nodded despite the fact that she couldn't see him. She didn't come down the hall or open the door– and perhaps she thought that he had fallen 'back' to sleep.

"Nino," Trixx said, his voice quiet this time. "Knowledge is power, it creates connections. The more you know about Miraculouses, the more power you can draw from them. If... if you were to tell Blue Wing that his was broken... you just might strengthen that connection between him and the rogue magic."

"And if he doesn't take it off after he knows...?"

"It will take hold quicker," Trixx confirmed.

He threw the kwami a bitter look. "So you're saying to do nothing? To just stand by and watch him wither away?"

"I'm asking you to wait," Trixx said softly. "I... I think I have a full understanding why he's helping his father, what they're after. And if it is true, and if he does fully believe you– I still don't know if he will stop. He might actually fight harder, thinking the Ladybug could... save him."

Nino's head jerked up. "Wait, his mother– is– is that why they're–?"

"...I think so," Trixx said cautiously. "It adds up, and... and it is a motive that I could see Blue Wing supporting."

Nino took this in silently. "Could... could the Ladybug Miraculous heal Blue?"

Trixx said nothing, and Nino looked up at him. He could see the kwami thinking, trying to figure out what to say. The two watched each other for the second, and the Fox hesitated for a moment before speaking.

"From what Blue Wing has said about Hawk Moth's goal, I believe I understand what magic they are seeking," Trixx finally said. "And it is a means that doesn't heal, it... it forces." He closed his eyes. "And no, the Ladybug on its own could not heal the damage from a broken Miraculous– only time can."

"Time?" Nino whispered hopefully.

"The moment one renounces a broken Miraculous, they sever their connection between it," Trixx said. "The magic no longer inflicts the body, and since the source of the harm is gone... the body can start to recover naturally, as long as they're not too far gone." He lowered his head. "From what Duusu described to me, how his mother is 'asleep'... it is too late for her. There is no 'soul' in that body, as you humans would put it, it is empty."

"And Blue...?"

"Right now, I have no doubt that his strength would fully return if he were to stop using Duusu," Trixx said. "That's why I feel that we should not tell him now– time is on our side. While his father has such a strong grasp on his mind... we could just make things worse."

Nino gritted his teeth, hands curling. "So instead you want me to lie to his face?"

"Yes."

Nino turned away. "I need to be alone right now."

"Nino, I want to help him as much as you do–"

"Trixx. Leave me alone."

The Fox hesitated, before turning and flying away.

"Pound it!" Ladybug and Abeille cried in unison, fists bumping together, the Miraculous Ladybugs swirling around them.

"Ah, that feels so good," Abeille muttered as the pink light washed over her, healing her bruises from the battle. "They're not giving us a break, are they?"

"Blue Wing most certainly has stepped up his game," Ladybug replied, glancing around, as if wondering if she could catch sight of the Peacock holder– but Silver Paw had used an illusion as usual to hide his escape, so the other Miraculous users were now long gone. "These last few avatars have been something else– how much longer do you have?"

"Two minutes," Abeille said, touching her comb. "I– eep!"

Ladybug didn't realize what she was doing until she had already scooped Abeille into her arms, her face flushing as she was carried bridal style in the hero's arms. She paused for a moment, but didn't stop– trying to act like it was natural.

She leaped away from where the battle had taken place, up onto the rooftops, running a ways as to avoid the crowds that tended to gather after a fight. She could feel a blush of her own on her face as she tried to find a place for them to hide while they detransformed.

No, for Abeille to detransform. She didn't get to join her.

"Just in case we had to make a quick get away," Ladybug explained as she set Abeille down in an alleyway, as if that explained her actions, and she leaned back against the wall as casually as she could– which didn't look casual at all. "Those darn timers run out quicker than you think."

'Darn timers'? What was she even saying?

"Well, you do have longer than me," Abeille agreed, looking at Ladybug's earrings, which were down to three spots. "Works out well though? Since you have to go and all."

"Well, I don't have to go right this second," Ladybug said swiftly. "I mean, it was a hard battle, nothing wrong with a rest and all."

Their Miraculouses beeped, like crickets filling the silence.

Abeille turned towards her, and the awkwardness seemed to fade away as her gaze turned more serious. "Earlier, when I said they weren't giving us a break– I wasn't talking about just Hawk Moth and Blue Wing– I mean Silver Paw too. He's been different these last few fights."

"Less friendly," Ladybug agreed. "Maybe he's realized that pretending to be on our side won't earn him any favors. He's upped the aggressiveness."

"Not just with us though," Abeille said. "Did you see him with the akuma when he first arrived– he clubbed them so hard I thought it was going to knock them out!" She shook her head. "Regardless, something must be going on, he's been like that the last few fights, so I think we need to be even more careful around him– he might lash out at us like that too."

"True," Ladybug said, narrowing her eyes. Now that Abeille had pointed it out, it was true that while Silver Paw's attitude had changed, his habits had not. He was still bouncing back and forth between fighting them and fighting the akuma. And with the akumas and avatars working more closely together, it might be easy to take their focus off of the Fox for just a moment too long.

A flash of yellow light filled the alleyway, Pollen flying out of the comb as Alya detransformed. One hand went out for the kwami to land on, the other pulling the Miraculous from her hair. "How are you feeling, Pollen?"

"Worn, but no more than usual, my queen," Pollen said, inclining her head instead of her normal bow.

"Here you go, Ladybug," Alya said, carefully pressing the comb into her hand– and Pollen was drawn back into it with a flash of yellow light.

"Thank you for your help, partner," Ladybug said, smiling. "Until next time."

"Oh– that reminds me!" Alya said before Ladybug could turn to leave. "In a few days from now, I'm going to be at the Gabriel Youth Fashion Show. My friend has a piece that made it into the show and I'm going to be there with her." She held up her phone. "Filming it too– it will be on the Ladyblog. So if an akuma shows up that day that's where I'll be– just thought I'd let you know."

"Thank you," Ladybug said with a smile, even though she already knew that. She put Pollen's comb back into its box. "I'll keep that in mind, but hopefully we don't get an akuma that day– I'd hate for one to ruin your time with your friend."

Alya let out an uneasy laugh. "Unfortunately it seems to happen more often than not. Then again, we're always hanging out, so it's bound to happen."

"Tell your friend I wish her luck in the show."

Alya grinned. "Luck from Lady Luck herself? What more can one ask for?"

Blue Wing knew he had done something wrong, and he didn't know what.

Usually he knew what moments were the ones that would be seen as stepping out line, and what would be coming. Except for right now he could only look at the stoic expression on his face, no sign of a smile or any softness, just staring off– not even looking at him. That only made Blue shrink down even more, and he wanted to wrap his wings around himself, but he was afraid of drawing more attention to himself. Of course, he doubted he was going to get any attention considering that he wouldn't even look at him.

He must have really messed up this time.

Blue drew his knees up, arms wrapping around them, eyes pressing shut as he tried to fight tears. He should have been careful, he should have been watching how he acted. Just because someone was warm didn't mean they wanted to see every annoying side of him. Smiles in public were expected, and he shouldn't have thought it meant anything. Now they were alone, and now he'd get the cold truth he should have been expecting this entire time, but no, he had been stupid and–

"Blue?" Silver Paw asked softly. "Are you okay?"

Blue jumped slightly– because that was not the tone he had been expecting from the Fox. He looked up at Silver in shock, only to see a blur of gray in front of him, and he realized he was crying. Blue quickly began to wipe away his tears, angry at himself at making yet another mistake. He was too emotional at home, he shouldn't be letting everything slip out of control in front of someone else.

"S-sorry," Blue said, struggling against a waver in his tone, and for some reason the tears came faster. "I'm sorry, Silver Paw, I– I'm–"

Silver Paw scooted closer to him, and the hard expression from before seemed to be gone. Blue just stared at him in confusion as the tears kept coming, a sob building up in his throat, but he had no excuse to be crying right now. He wasn't hurting, crying was ignored then, even if Father sneered at it, but right now he was just being a coward, not accepting his mistakes.

He felt like a child as his sobs came out, no longer being able to hold them back. He saw Silver's hand coming towards him, and he didn't know how to react through the tears, but before he could he felt two arms wrap around him, and he was pulled into Silver's chest. Blue went silent all of the sudden, just sitting there, stunned.

Then he broke down crying, not even trying to keep it back, because he didn't even know why the tears were coming anymore.

"I'm sorry!" Blue gasped against sobs. "I'm sorry!"

"Why are you sorry?" Silver asked, voice soft, and Blue Wing shuddered. He hated that question, he hated that question– "What happened?"

"I don't know!" Blue cried. "I don't know what I did! I'm sorry though, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to upset you, I really didn't, please don't hate me, please–"

Apparently this apology wasn't accepted, because he was suddenly pulled away from Silver's embrace. His gloved hands were on Blue's shoulders, wide amber eyes staring at him in shock. The two stared at each other, Blue's hands shaking, and Silver Paw took them in his, wrapping both of them in his grasp.

"Blue," he said softly. "I– You... I don't hate you– I never would. You– you didn't do anything. I don't know what you mean, but you didn't do anything."

"You were upset," Blue Wing whispered. "You wouldn't look at me."

"...Things have been hard for me lately," Silver Paw confirmed. "But it wasn't your fault, my dude. I... I just don't know how to handle everything, you know? I'm sorry if it seems like I was taking that out on you."

Silver's words were calming, but yet Blue Wing's heart was still racing. His mind was telling him not to calm down, now was not a time to lower your guard. So he just stared at Silver, whose expression wasn't as guarded as before. He was letting out a long sigh, and you could see that the heaviness in his gaze was that of sorrow.

"What happened?" Blue Wing asked, and for a moment he was tempted to tap into his empathic abilities, but he was worried about how potent they would be if he did so.

"It's–" Silver paused, trying to find the words. "It's... it's too much. All these secrets I'm being asked to keep and I... I don't even know if I should." His hands tightened around his. "It's... it's so messed up, dude, it just makes me sick."

"I know how you feel," Blue said quietly. "I have secrets too."

Silver looked up at him, guilt in his eyes. "I'm keeping secrets from you."

"...It's okay," Blue said, realizing that he was worrying because of him– all of this was his fault. "I have secrets I haven't told you either. I haven't even told you my name. It's just... part of having a Miraculous, you know?"

"Yeah," Silver Paw said, voice breaking slightly, and Blue didn't know if it was an agreement or just a response. Silver swallowed, and Blue wished that he would hug him again. Those few minutes in his arms had felt so safe and warm...

Blue Wing hesitated, before holding out his arms slightly. He wasn't sure what Silver would think of the invitation, perhaps that would be pushing his boundaries– but to his relief Silver leaned forward, arms around him as he pulled him into a hug. It was fierce and tight, but yet it didn't feel restrictive, and Blue was happy to coil his own arms around the Fox.

"Do you trust me, Blue?" Silver asked quietly.

"Of course."

"Do... do you trust your father?"

He swallowed before answering. "I know you don't like him, Nino, but... but I promise you we have a good reason for why we're doing this. We're not trying to hurt anyone, I swear."

"...I believe you," Silver muttered. "I know you have good intentions. I just– I– Will you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Promise me to keep me updated on how you're doing," Silver Paw said, and he was surprised by this request. "How you're feeling, emotionally, mentally, how... how your a-allergies are doing. Everything."

There was many things Silver Paw could have asked of him, things that Blue knew that he couldn't tell. So upon this request he relaxed slightly, knowing that this was something he could do without worrying about upsetting his father or Silver.

"I promise," he said quietly, and he felt Silver let out a soft sigh as they held each other, one of relief.