Chapter 12: Thinking Outloud

Matt goes to ask Lorraine why women don't like to reveal their real ages.

"Mom why do women hate to reveal their real ages to people?" Matt asked her.

"I always reveal my real age to people sweetheart." Lorraine told him.

"That's not what dad said." Matt said to her.

"What did he say?" Lorraine asked him.

"That you tell people that your thirty when you're actually thirty seven." Matt told her.

"He told you that?" Lorraine then asked him.

"Yeah." Matt replied.

"Vinny! Get your Italian American butt down here!" Lorraine yelled up the stairs.

Vinny walks down stairs and walks into the kitchen.

"What is it dear?" Vinny asked her.

"Why did you tell Matt that I don't reveal my real age to people?" Lorraine asked him.

"I never told him that." Vinny told her.

"Yes you did." Matt said to him.

"I might have said something like that. You know how kids have such crazy imaginations." Vinny said to her.

"Dad you said that all women don't like to reveal their real ages to people." Matt told him.

"I also told you not to tell your mother about that." Vinny said to him.

"Oops." Matt said to him.

"Yeah, oops." Vinny said to him.

"Matt will you please leave me and your father alone so we can discuss what he should and shouldn't tell you?" Lorraine asked him.

"Matt you don't have to leave. Stay here. I need a witness for when your mother kills me." Vinny said to him.

"Sorry dad but, I always listen to mom when she has that look on her face." Matt said to him as he walked out of the kitchen.

"Vinny why would you tell Matt something like that?" Lorraine asked him.

"Because it's true." Vinny replied.

"I never lied about my age." Lorraine told him.

"Yes you did." Vinny said to her.

"When?" Lorraine asked her.

"Last month when we went to go visit your sister Nora." Vinny told her.

"No, I didn't." Lorraine told him.

"You lied to that college guy." Vinny said to her.

"I didn't lie to him." Lorraine said to him.

"He asked you if you were twenty one." Vinny told her.

"I didn't tell him I was." Lorraine told him.

"You told him you were twenty two." Vinny told her with a smile on his face.

"That was only one time." Lorraine told him.

"So, I was right all women lie about their age." Vinny told her.

"And you're proud of yourself for actually being right for once?" Lorraine asked him.

"I was right more then once in my life." Vinny told her.

"When was the other time?" Lorraine then asked him.

"When I told Joey and Tony you were the one for me after our first date." Vinny told her.

"So, you were right only twice in your life." Lorraine said to him.

"And marrying you was the best decision I ever made." Vinny told her.

"You are such a sweet talker." Lorraine said to him.

They kiss. Brian comes down the stairs and starts to act like he's gaging.

"Every time." Vinny said to Lorraine.

"You wanted kids." Lorraine said to him.

"So did you." Vinny said to her.

"I know. And I'm glad we had five amazing kids." Lorraine said to him.

"So, how many kids did you guys want?" Brian asked them.

"I wanted eight. But, your father only wanted three." Lorraine told him.

"So, we subtracted three from eight and came up with the number five." Vinny told him sarcastically.

"That's real funny dad. Forgive me for not laughing. I'm still trying to get that image of you and mom kissing out of my head." Brian told him.

"But, it's all right if you and your girlfriend start kissing?" Vinny asked him.

"That's different. You two are married." Brian told him.

"How's that different?" Vinny asked him.

"Me and my girlfriend could break up at any minute. You two have been together for 18 years." Brian replied.

"We've been married for 18 years. We've been together for 19 years." Vinny told him.

"Whatever dude." Brian said to him as he went back upstairs.

"That kid reminds me so much of your brother Jake. Sometimes I wonder if him and David were switched at birth." Vinny said to Lorraine.

"You shouldn't say that." Lorraine told him.

"I'm just stating the obvious." Vinny said to her.

"Vinny he's your son." Lorraine told him.

"I know he is. But, then there are other times I wonder about that kid." Vinny told her.

"I can't believe you would say such a thing about your son." Lorraine told him.

Brian heard every word while he was sitting on the top of the stairs.