The Art of Getting Even
By Dinuriel
Disclaimer: I think it's been well established that no one on this site owns Lost.
Summary: Post-island. So maybe no normal person would ever buy an old acquaintance out of jail just to get revenge on some conman… but since when has Sawyer been a normal person?
A/N: Yeah, you people are definitely a lot more generous with your praise than a lot of those FictionPress freeloaders. Let's see…
Broadway-gurl: :) Hey dude, how's it going (a friend)? Glad you like the story, and that's a good point. Hey everyone! If this fic says something that offends you, please know that it is not in any way intentional and that this is just meant to be a work of fiction, no deeper meanings or symbolism or any of that crap (I think that should be reserved for the philosophy textbooks- if someone writes a book just for the sake of giving a deeper meaning, then that's just a waste of time). Hope to see you around soon!
Jen: Excellent, another one in the multiple review club:) Yeah, I just had to throw that part in, I got the idea and it seemed too good to pass up. I hope you continue to enjoy!
domaholic17: Yay! Another multiple-reviewer:) Who knows, another game of "I Never" may be in the near future… just wait and see.
Cait: Wow, you people are all sticking with me! That's great:) Excellent that you got an account- now I can review your stuff too. Sorry this update took so long, I've been so busy. Hope you enjoy your time away though.
Dee Lee: And that makes five people in the multiple review club:) Welcome! Yeppers, Sayid dates… but maybe not as successfully as he would hope. The answer is revealed in this chapter. Yeah, I really enjoyed writing the last bit. If I post any more fics after this one, they'll probably all have Sawyer as one of the main characters because there are so many angles you can explore him from: Sawyer the victim, Sawyer the pervert, Sawyer the conman, Sawyer the romantic… I'm trying to get as many sides of him in here as I can, and I think the last part helped a bit.
GirlofthePirates: Yeppers, Charlie and Claire have a baby on the way… maybe Kate will see them in Australia. Who knows?
I'm so sorry for the over-abundance of smileys in this A/N- I'm just so happy with you people:) So happy, in fact, that I am giving you now… CHAPTER FOUR:)
Chapter Four: The Right Words
"Well, looks like we got here pretty early," Kate muttered as she put down her suitcase beside the bench in the terminal.
Sawyer nodded. "And here I was, thinkin' you'd be on that plane in no time."
"Kate! Sawyer!"
Kate looked up to see her friend from the island, Sun, running toward them, followed by her husband Jin.
"Sun! Jin!" she exclaimed as she quickly embraced both of them, "How have you been?"
"Well, my father died," began Sun. Noticing Kate's sympathetic glance, she added, "but he left Jin his company, which we now base here. We're now almost as rich as Sawyer, but Hurley is still the richest of us."
"By my calculations, he won't be once Sawyer gets the money back."
Sayid had arrived.
"Well, well, well, if it ain't old Casanova," Sawyer began, "Tell me, Romeo, how'd your little date go?"
"It wasn't the best," Sayid groaned, collapsing onto the bench.
Sawyer raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"It started out just fine," the Iraqi started, "We had fun at dinner, had lots in common. She invited me back to her apartment, where I discovered…"
"Yes?" Jin pressed. Clearly, he had learned English.
"She beats her dog!" he exclaimed, "Even Sawyer, the most absolutely evil bastard in the world, doesn't do that!"
"I'm flattered," muttered Sawyer under his breath.
"And that's not all," Sayid continued, "She had a stash of cocaine in there!"
Sun gasped. "Oh, Sayid… I'm so sorry."
Sayid shrugged. "It's okay. Somewhere out there is the perfect girl… actually, two perfect girls. One of them is married with kids just outside of Los Angeles and the other is buried on an island in the middle of nowhere!"
Jin nodded. "Just face it- you and Sawyer. You no lucky. Not like me," he added, wrapping his arms around Sun and hugging her tightly.
"Attention, passengers," crooned the voice over the intercom, "Would all first class passengers on flight 518 to Sydney please make their way to the gate? We are boarding in approximately one minute."
Sawyer handed a ticket to both Kate and Sun, who quickly gave her husband a kiss goodbye and made her way to where the other first class passengers were lined up.
"First class?" asked Kate apprehensively, looking at the seat number, "Sawyer, do you remember the island? None of the first class passengers made it."
"It ain't Oceanic, baby," he assured her with a grin, "and even if it were, they'd done a thing or two so as to keep their planes on track."
"Planes on track?" muttered Sayid, "Are you sure you're not thinking of trains?"
"It's a figure of speech, Abdul!" Sawyer snapped.
He then turned back to Kate, gently cupped his hand on her cheek, began to lean in, and…
SMACK!
He had been hit in the back of the head with a handbag.
"What the hell?" he questioned, turning around.
The culprit was a young blond woman, obviously rich, and judging by the ring on her finger, married to guy who, judging by the other ring, was also obviously rich.
"Sawyer!" she exclaimed angrily.
"Uh… just a sec…" he told her, "Don't tell me… Caitlin?"
The woman's scowl deepened. Kate shook her head.
"Stephanie?"
"No!" she snapped, "I didn't expect you to remember my name, you redneck bastard! You didn't even remember to call me the morning after we-"
"Okay, that's enough, just go along now… Sheila, isn't it?"
She hit him one last time, then stormed off.
Smiling somewhat less confidently than usual, Sawyer turned back to Kate. "Long story, Freckles," he explained, leaning in once again…
SMACK!
This time, he had been hit in the back of the head with a magazine.
"Now, what in God's name was that about?" demanded Sawyer, turning around once again.
The culprit was a young brunette woman, obviously rich, and judging by the ring on her finger, married to guy who, judging by the other ring, was also obviously rich.
"Sawyer!" she shrieked.
Sawyer frowned. "Shannon?"
"You idiot, Shannon was my girlfriend," sighed Sayid from the bench.
"Why didn't you call me?" the woman demanded, "We had such a great time together! And I was all prepared for a great second date, but then you never called and I was stuck having dinner with my husband instead!"
"Yeah, sorry about that…" he apologized hurriedly, his face tense with concentration, "…Stella?"
Rolling her eyes, she hit him again then began to walk away.
Sawyer snapped his fingers. "Victoria!" he yelled after her.
"Not even close, you son of a bitch!"
"Don't mind her, baby," he told Kate, "She don't know what she's talking about."
Raising an eyebrow, Kate grimaced. "I'm sure…"
He tried to kiss her once more, this time interrupted by a tap on the shoulder…
"OKAY, MAYBE I NEVER CALLED YOU, SO WHAT?" he hollered, wheeling around angrily, "IT'S ALL IN THE PAST, AIN'T IT? 'SIDES, YOU'RE MARRIED! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EVER NEED ME FOR? I DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING TO YOU! NOTHING!"
"Uh… Sawyer?" Kate asked, "I don't think that's the case this time…"
He looked at her quizzically, then at all the silent people in the terminal, all of whom were staring at him, and then, finally, at the little old man he had just finished yelling at.
"Uh… can I help you?" he asked, glancing around self-consciously.
"I just came over here to tell you that they're almost done boarding," the man insisted, adjusting his bifocals.
"Okay… uhm, thanks."
Kate quickly hugged Sawyer, Sayid, and Jin, then dashed to the plane just as Sawyer told the others, "I'm gonna go see if it's possible to drown yourself in a toilet."
"What took you so long?" asked Sun as Kate collapsed into the seat beside her.
"Funny story," Kate began to explain, "You see-"
Sun's cell phone rang.
"Just a second," her friend promised, flipping the top of the phone up, "Hello?"
She handed it to Kate. "It's for you."
Shrugging, she took the phone and pressed it to her ear. "Hello?"
"Hey, Freckles! It's me."
Kate smiled. "Hi."
"How's the flight so far?"
"Sawyer, we're not even off the ground yet!" she exclaimed, trying hard not to laugh.
"I know- I can see you from here."
She looked out the window. Sure enough, he was staring right at her from the terminal, talking into his own cell phone.
"Just wanted to make sure you were comfortable- it's a long flight, Sassafras."
"Yes, I'm comfortable. Thanks for buying first class."
"Only the best for you, Sweetheart," Sawyer replied. She could see him grinning.
"Kate," Sun addressed her, "The instructional video is on."
She nodded. "Got to go, we're taking off soon."
"What?" he demanded. She glanced at him through the window- he appeared rather shocked. "Freckles, you can't hang up on me, girl!"
"Sorry, Sawyer," she apologized.
"But-"
Kate pressed the button, then handed the phone back to Sun, who giggled.
"What's so funny?" asked Kate, one eyebrow raised.
"Jin used to do that all the time," she answered, "I at first thought it was annoying- then I married him."
-
"You think she's okay?"
"I'm sure she is."
"I don't know… I haven't really been too trustin' of airplanes since the island…"
"As you said, it is not likely to happen again."
Sawyer was still unconvinced. "I think I'll call her again," he decided, grabbing his cell phone and pressing the redial button.
"You just hung up with her two minutes ago!" Sayid exclaimed, "And you're driving!"
He wasn't listening.
"Sawyer, stop calling!" pleaded Kate on the other end, "This is the eleventh time!Sooner or later, everyone's going to be asleep and the phone's going to wake them up!"
"I'm just worried about you," insisted Sawyer as Sayid reached in front of him and grabbed the steering wheel, pulling them out of the way of a particularly large semi-truck, "Come on, baby- I'm sweet, right?"
She sighed. "You're very sweet. Sweet like a dessert."
"You like desserts, Freckles?"
There was a pause. Then-
"Not really."
"Oh."
And here he was thinking she liked him. But she didn't.
"Listen, I gotta go," he told her as Sayid maneuvered out of another potential crash, "Sayid's backseat drivin'… well, actually, passenger seat drivin', technically."
"You're hanging up on me?" she demanded, "That's different."
Sawyer nodded. "I guess it's just one of 'em roll reversals. See ya 'round, Kate."
He hung up before she could say goodbye.
"Hand over the wheel, Muhammed," he sighed, "Only I'm allowed to drive the Ferrari, remember?"
"Am I hearing right?" demanded Sayid as he took his hands off the wheel, leaving Sawyer to fend for himself against the approaching garbage truck, "Did James Ford just get rejected?"
Gritting his teeth, Sawyer pulled over to the curb and opened the door. "I think Sayid Jarrah's about to get ejected."
"Hardy har har," groaned Sayid as he stepped onto the sidewalk, "You are a riot."
"Whatever," Sawyer growled, speeding off. "So long, sucker!" he yelled back, "And I think you scratched my car!"
-
Kate sighed. She was the only passenger still awake- all of the others had drifted off to sleep at least half an hour ago.
She felt bad about hanging up on Sawyer so many times. After all, he had just been checking up on her- surely it just showed that he cared.
She opened her backpack, which sat on the floor by her feet, and pulled out her book, accidentally causing a piece of paper to fall from on top of it and onto Sun's foot. Kate frowned; she'd never packed a piece of paper.
Curious, she carefully picked it up and unfolded it.
Kate,
I put this in your backpack when I put when I loaded it into the trunk- clever, huh? I knew when I'd get the opportunity. That's me- always the opportunist. I don't know why I'm writing this. I've only written one other letter in my life, and that was when I was eight, so maybe don't judge my brains from this, okay, Sassafras? Just thought I'd give you something to read on the plane… wait, you have that book, How to Nab a Doctor or whatever. Damn, Freckles- the truth is, I'm crazy about you, baby. That's why I think only you could help me- you're the only one whose help I want (people like Sayid, their help I actually need). Well, I need yours too… I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. That's what you do to me, girl- when I'm thinking of you, I can't think of nothing else. So anyway… you're the only one who really gets me, I think. Like I said all that time ago on the island, we have a connection, you and me. I don't know what the hell it is, but I ain't about to deny it. You and me… we're outcasts. We ain't about to turn on each other- that's how I know you're the only one I can trust.
There's something else I wanna say to you, but I can't find the right words. I don't know what it is I want to say to you, because I think about you like I never thought of no one else before.
Hell, Freckles- I love you.
-James Ford
a.k.a. Sawyer
A/N: And, finally, there was chapter four. Okay, any of you who have reviewed, if you have something posted and I haven't reviewed anything of yours, please tell me, okay? I want to reward you all for being so kind to me. I'll try to get chapter five done ASAP, but I've been super busy lately, so I can't promise anything, unfortunately. Please continue to read and review. Thanks!