IcyLady hahaha the dream is finally over! You're right about the strokes, maybe Daisya's just thinking in circles now. My logic was that a single big symbol is easier to interpret by touch than sequential letters, but I haven't tried it and probably couldn't read either!

This arc ended up taking much, much longer to write than I thought! There should be 1 or 2 chapters left here, then a mini-arc and a couple of interludes, then the ending. I hope. I will finish this fic if it kills me. Thank you all so much for reading, here's hoping the next DGM update brings back some of the usual characters! I've been getting nostalgic for the days of the OT4.

Daisya woke up.

And screwed his eyes shut. There was nothing brighter than moving eyes in a dark face.

He couldn't get caught again.

After a cautious few seconds feeling around, he felt all right about moving. There'd been some kind of rustling as soon as he came to that was just disappearing. He should be under enough cover that it was safe to look around. At any rate, there were branches sticking him from every angle. He had to be under a bush. Or a log pile.

Cracking an eye open, the next thing he did was follow the hand he'd woken up holding. Lenalee?

His memories of today were a little hazy, but he'd definitely seen her the last time he was awake. The holder had an Exorcist's uniform on and long, black hair. That matched her. It was a hard to make out through the green-brown screen.

He squinted. Didn't look like pigtails, though. The body was bigger, too. It was wearing a full jacket—

—and it was awake! Daisya just about jumped out of his skin when the head turned and the eyes snapped open, glaring straight at him. Then he relaxed again. Kanda.

And all of a sudden he remembered everything.

Sand. Sun. Fire. Burn.

Poor old mom, watching him, just wishing that he'd never left. His hand tightened before he even knew it.

"I won," he whispered.

"Quiet," Kanda hissed back.

"Whoever was here, they're not any more. I heard them get out."

"You're sure?"

"Yep."

Kanda actually looked relieved. Bad sign. A worried Kanda either meant they were in deep shit or that he was in a mood, which was all the time. If he was relieved enough to show it…they really must have been screwed. Daisya swallowed.

"It was a Noah," Kanda said, still quiet as a mouse.

"Oh yeah, you said."

"You knew that?"

"Yeah, it was chasing me and Lena this morning. How'd you end up here, anyway? And why are we still stuck in this bush?"

While Kanda was figuring out how to answer him, he hopped up and dragged him stumbling out of their sticky prison. The forest they stepped out into was about how he remembered it, if a little darker. Once he'd come to terms with where they were—probably close to where he and Lena had just come by, he was sure it was drier here—he gave Kanda the once-over.

"You look bad, dude."

Kanda glared at him harder—with bloodshot eyes—then gave up and started walking—slowly—dragging Daisya with him. He must have had a hell of a fight before he got here. Maybe it was small breakfast or the early morning wake-up. Daisya just felt cold and queasy.

"We're going," he said hoarsely. "We need to find Marie."

"Wait, he's not here?" Daisya asked, stumbling along after. "Why'd the Noah leave, then?"

Kanda made a noise halfway between I don't know and stop asking.

"And where's Lenalee? You should probably just tell me from the start. You've got a lot of questions to answer."

They trotted off between the trees, Daisya struggling to keep pace a little. Not much. He realized that they'd ended up like this a few times, picking up from unconsciousness and near-death and just heading home. What else was there to do? You came, you conquered, you left.

Time to see if Kanda had learned from last time.

"You tell me first," Kanda said, like he'd read his mind.

Okay. Daisya could work with that.

"Well, I don't actually know what happened. We woke up, got strafed, Lenalee flew us away from the Noah, she got us clear and we were walking to the rendez-vous," he counted on his fingers. "And that's all I know! Next thing it's dreamland and all sorts of weird stuff. You know."

Funny thing, Kanda slowed down now so that they were walking beside each other. Daisya could have just let go of him. But after the past hour? Few minutes? He didn't really want to. This could just be another round of make-believe. The Kanda he was holding on to could be the Noah with her best face on. Maybe he really was Kanda, and the Noah just wanted him to think that it might not be. Daisya tightened his grip, getting a weird look in return. No, this was Kanda.

"You didn't see the Noah?"

"Not up close. I think it was a girl? She had this big old dress on. Looked like my sis wearing hand-me-downs," he said, before he could help himself.

"Huh—"

"Dammit!"

Something stopped Daisya in his tracks, sending Kanda skidding to a halt too. He didn't look too happy about that.

"What?"

"I think I tried to attack with my Charity Bell…where is it…" Daisya muttered, trying to focus.

There had to be a connection somewhere around here. If he hadn't deactivated it, it should still pick up on him. Right? He closed his eyes to concentrate. This was a trick he made up himself. None of the others had to get rid of their Innocence to use it. When he was a kid, the old man got so sick of him losing it down crevices or in trees that he told him to just change his technique. Hah. He sure showed him.

"Check your pockets," Kanda said dully.

The old man wouldn't be happy to hear he'd lost it for good. Actually, he wouldn't be happy to hear about any of this. He'd cried, the last time Daisya saw him. He remembered it now. The old man cried. The trees looked exactly the same in all directions, and for maybe the first time he realized that the forest was as flat and endless as the sand. There was something moving on the edge of his mind.

"No, it's definitely somewhere else. I think—okay, yeah," he breathed, "I've got it. Go right. It's not far off."

"Fine."

Steering them both now, Daisya realized he'd interrupted. It was hard to think of Kanda as being Kanda and not just the shape that was left when he was gone or the thing hiding beneath a screen, after all that.

"So, how'd you find me anyway? Is Lena okay?" he asked.

"She told us you disappeared. Thought it was the Noah." Kanda was allergic to clauses. "The akuma found her. Marie went to fight with her."

"Huh," was all Daisya said.

With his mind on his Innocence, he took some time to puzzle out what that meant. Kanda was great at non-answers. He never really lied, he just hated telling the truth.

"So, you came after me?"

"Yeah."

Now that the blood was flowing, they trampled over little needles and mouldy leaves. It was helping him think this through even as the ringing in his head got stronger.

"You definitely got into a fight, otherwise you wouldn't be so slow. Were there akuma, too? Wait, no, you said there was a Noah," he said haltingly. "You…fought the Noah, didn't you? Tell me you didn't."

The huff from Kanda was all the answer he needed.

"How are you still alive! God, I'm going to tell the old man about this. Jesus Christ. Good god." And all those other words he wasn't supposed to say. "What were you doing?"

"How am I alive? It got you first."

"Hey, I don't know. Maybe it liked me? I didn't try to fight it!"

Daisya's hand tightened again, pulling them both short. The Charity Bell was really close by. Time for a game of hot and cold.

"Doesn't matter. We didn't die," said Kanda thickly.

"You're right about that. Give me a second."

Daisya peered around at the dense glade he'd found. Humming a tune now, he tried to sync up closer with the Bell. A faint ringing noise did follow the notes. Now where was it coming from? He stopped at each fork. It was probably—

"Over there." Kanda pointed up.

"Hey, thanks!"

Sure enough, Daisya fished the Bell out of the fork where it was caught after a few false starts up the tree trunk. Kanda had to let go and give him a leg up. But, he had it now, so that didn't matter once he came skidding down to the ground, face scratched and sick with relief.

"Can you call Marie?" Kanda gestured at it.

"Don't you have a golem?" His memory signalled to him. "Wait, I've got a golem. I think."

The Noah had been nice enough to let him keep his bag, which he got out and felt all around looking for the pocket. It was there somewhere—aha! He was just about to pull it out when Kanda rained on his parade.

"Don't."

"What?"

Kanda scoffed. "They were cutting out, remember? If you can put out a signal, he'll come find us."

"Okay. Let me try."

He flexed his fingers and danced from one foot to the other trying to get some circulation back.

"You're not syncing," said Kanda.

"I know!" he shot back. "I just don't want to try it half-numb. I don't know how long I was out. Do you?"

Kanda just grumbled, which meant he didn't have a clue. If he'd been anyone else, he would be smiling, Daisya knew. That was why he'd bent his face into a frown. He'd kept one hand on Mugen all this way, turned away from him to watch for anyone approaching.

If he'd looked out, maybe Kanda wouldn't have had to fight. Who knew. The red eyes didn't look so bad from the side.

Once he was warmed up, Daisya did try to send out a thin, high note in the akuma frequency. Marie was the only one with hearing sensitive enough to pick that up. Hopefully he'd have the Organum still activated, too.

"We'll wait," said Kanda.

"Five minutes," Daisya added. "If they're here, Lenalee can make it back in that time. If they're not, we can call them on the golem."

With Kanda nodding agreement, he put his back to a smooth-looking tree and sighed, sliding down to the ground.

Which turned out to be a mistake. Whatever energy had been keeping him up, it just drained out of him into the ground and left him drowsy and feeling sick again. When Marie and Lenalee got here, they'd have to explain. Then they'd get up. Then they'd walk back. He just wanted to go to sleep again. It was going to be slow and really, really long. The longer he thought about it, the longer it got.

Shrugging his shoulders, he opened his pack and dug around in it for the stale snacks that were left. They'd be back in town today, he could afford to use up whatever he found. He needed the energy.

"So what happened?" he asked.

"Hm?"

"Wha appen?" he asked again, this time through a dry biscuit.

Kanda stayed upright, leaning against a tree opposite his and combing fingers through his hair. It'd been falling into his eyes the whole way here. Honestly, Daisya was surprised it took him this long to re-do it, picking out the knots methodically before he tied it up again.

"When?"

"Fi'in' th' Noah."

The biscuit was food, that had to be said. Food was good. He took a small sip from the canteen, though, just to be safe. He wasn't about to survive a Noah and choke on his own spit.

"I lost."

"Aw come on, I'm bored. Tell me a story."

Out of the corner of his eye he was paying attention, watching Kanda's eyes narrow and avert as he tried to figure out what to hide from Daisya. You could always see him thinking. It didn't happy very often. There was something he wanted to hide.

"It found me before I found you. I don't know why, but it didn't attack me."

"Hah, you must have looked like small fry!"

"I don't know."

Picking the raisins out of the last of the dried fruit, Daisya tried to tease out the rest of the tale.

"So what'd you do? Run? Hide? Scream?"

"I tried to kill her. Hey."

That last bit was because Daisya had inhaled whatever was in his mouth and started coughing.

"I-I'm fine! You tried to kill a Noah?"

"I didn't think it would work," said Kanda irritably.

Daisya had to smile. "That makes it even better. Keep it coming."

"That's it. I was winning. I think. That's why she put me...wherever you were."

He shivered. Of course if anyone was able to beat a Noah, it would be Kanda. Daisya knew that much. It still made him stop to think. They were the closest thing to a bogeyman for people who fought ghosts and demons on the regular. General Yeager was pretty clear that they would kill you if they wanted. The old man was a bit less ominous about it, he just said that they needed experience, power, and smarts to beat. He was also careful to imply that those were things Daisya didn't have.

It was just that Kanda was a late bloomer. He was small. He still looked like a kid. Hell, Daisya still felt like a kid. They weren't supposed to be doing this. He could've died. Kanda was pacing around now, watching and waiting for something to happen. Or maybe he was just imagining it.

"She must've been stronger than she looked," he said instead.

"They don't fight hand-to-hand, dumbass. She had some kind of power. Projectiles and armour."

"But she couldn't hit you!"

"Of course she did," Kanda scoffed.

That sobered him up. It was a wonder he was even saying anything, if it was that bad. Kanda didn't like people to know when he got shaken.

"You're not hurt, are you?" Daisya asked.

"I heal fast."

Daisya had opened his mouth to say something when Kanda shook his head, pausing. He drew his sword.

"Marie's coming," he said shortly. "Pack up."

Too late, Daisya had already thrown everything back in the bag and pulled the drawstring shut, hoisting it on his shoulders as he stood and sauntered over to him. Best not to stay too far apart.

"You're okay, though?"

Kanda seemed to think, then start, then think again. "Yeah. We'll talk later."

Then they were quiet for a while. Daisya almost liked it better. He wasn't ever too tired to talk, just now it seemed like all the talking was in his own head. Something was taking all his energy up inside. The old man. Mom. Kanda. He remembered the last times he saw each of them, and they hadn't looked good.

Marie and Lenalee reached them eventually.

The whole thing didn't seem any realer than the dream he'd come from. While Lenalee leapt at him with tears in her eyes, Kanda and Marie put their heads together murmuring about mission parameters and plans and transportation. He wasn't paying attention.

"I'm so glad you're back!"

Lenalee didn't hesitate to jump, and he swung her around with the momentum as he caught her.

"You didn't think they got me, did you?" he laughed. "I didn't even have to do any of the fighting. Geez, you're covered in dust."

"I was really worried," Lenalee shot back. She was shaking in his arms, he could feel, but she didn't let her voice break.

"I know."

Daisya tightened his arms around her. God. Suddenly he was about to start crying too, if he didn't calm down. Where'd that come from?

"Don't go off alone again. I d-didn't even notice," said Lenalee.

"I won't," he said. "I'll stick right by you from now on, okay? I can't let you win all the fights."

It wasn't a promise he could make, and she knew it. He let her go once she'd gotten the sniffles out and wiped his eyes. She was nice enough to pretend.

"Just stay safe. You don't have to win," she said.

She didn't know that.

The walk back to town was long, and slow. Lenalee and Marie made it easier by keeping up a conversation that Daisya jumped in on once in a while. He was exhausted. Lenalee said it was less than an hour since he'd been knocked out, but he felt like he'd been awake for a week.

God-who-probably-wasn't-there didn't give them any mercy. After they got to town, Marie loaded them on to the first train anywhere and on to the next connecting line. They got meals at the stations and didn't find an inn until nighttime.

By the time he hit the pillow, he was already dead asleep.

...

Daisya woke up to an empty bed.

That felt wrong, but it wasn't until he'd buried his head in the pillow for half an hour that he remembered why. Where'd Kanda got to? There weren't many people stopping on this rail line in bad weather, so they'd had a whole two rooms to share. He distinctly remembered Kanda lying in the dent on the other side of the not-bad mattress. Was being awake contagious? He was sweating with only a nightshirt and a thin sheet, so maybe he really was sick.

But he remembered a few times where Kanda was up early or absent on bathroom runs. It must just be the first time he was up, too.

Oh well. If he wasn't sleeping anyway, Daisya may as well find something to do.

He stumbled down to the outhouse first, then stopped by the rainwater barrels out back. Time for a bath. The water was ice cold, but he was filthy and there hadn't been time to wash before he fell asleep. Bandages piled up on the ground as he poured a handful over his head to try and rinse the dirt out.

"Can't sleep?"

Still dripping, Daisya jumped up on the barrel on reflex. He didn't really know why, it just seemed like the right thing. It didn't help at all.

When he pulled back up, gasping, he looked over at Kanda's imperceptible profile. He blended right in with the night even to Daisya's adjusted eyes. His coat was open over his gown, but still belted. Must've been practicing. He didn't really have any other hobbies that weren't brooding.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked this time.

"I can't sleep," Daisya answered, hopping down.

"You could have said that."

"Yeah."

He laughed suddenly, and if he wasn't half-asleep he could've sword he heard a huff from Kanda.

"I'm so tired, I just can't actually, you know. Sleep."

"I know."

Apparently satisfied, Kanda went back to a basic round of stretches. Daisya kept on washing up, since his bandages were off anyway. Maybe it was a good thing it was pitch black out. Even to Kanda's sharp eyes, he wouldn't look like some half-baked ham.

"I don't wake up. I mean, sure I like to stay up late, but it's because I don't want to go to bed. If I'm asleep, I'm asleep."

"I know," Kanda said again.

"Yeah, you're the insomniac."

Daisya sluiced down his chest with water and flinched, hissing at the cold. His shivers were starting to shake. There was no way Kanda couldn't hear his teeth chattering. He'd been desperate for some cold when he was lying in bed and sweating, still shivering then, just for something to focus on. The heat felt queasy. Now he was so cold he was starting to feel his face go numb. Was that a good sign? It felt better.

He tried to finish the wash quickly, getting the worst of the dirt off and bundling up his things. The nightshirt didn't do much against the breeze. It took a few tries with cold fingers to open the door to get back in. When he tried to shut the door behind him, Kanda held it open.

"Y-you going back to sleep?" he asked him.

Kanda shook his head. "If you're not sleeping anyway, I don't need to worry about waking you up."

"Ah. S-smart."

"You should dry off."

"Why d'you think I-I'm going back in?" he said dryly.

Kanda kicked his ankle and followed him in.

...

With a heartbeat that went too fast and skin that was too cold, Daisya ran through stretches by the tiny bit of moonlight that filtered through the window. His mind was barely able to guide him through the movement that he had memorized, leaving nothing else to think with. He was even too tired to be bored. All that was left in him was feeling.

This could just be another part of the dream, since his body was far away and it felt hard to remember why he was here. Maybe he was dead already.

If he was, he wouldn't notice.

On the exhale, he felt himself almost start to cry. He was so, so tired. Tomorrow was going to be hell. Today was going to be hell, since it was an hour or two past midnight by his guess. His body was still shaking.

The Noah left them alone when it didn't have any reason do. Did it just give up? Kanda must've scared it off. He hadn't even seen it. When he did notice, it was way too late. He could be stuck there forever running across the beach trying to escape and getting nagged by parents that were even worse than he remembered. The last time he heard Lenalee she would be angry. The last time he heard Kanda and Marie...he couldn't even remember what they said to each other. Did it count, the golem?

And the old man hadn't been back in months. He shivered. What did they talk about when he stopped at HQ? Daisya meant to go find him on a mission, but he just had other things to do. Was it about Kanda? Had he seen him? The old man had just been thin and disappointed in Daisya. It was cloudy outside, so the sky was more grey than black and there was no moon or stars. If this was the fake world, he'd have no way of knowing.

He sniffed. His nose was really running now.

"What," said Kanda flatly.

"Nothing," he said. "Just thinking."

The fatigue was big enough to make even stretching seem like a bad idea. He still didn't feel sleepy. Not tired enough to sleep, not awake enough to do anything. Hell was here and now, wishing someone would just hit him over the head and send him back to a bad dream.

"What?"

This time it was a question. Daisya ignored it to flop down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"I don't know," he said.

"That didn't stop you before," said Kanda.

"Hah. Very funny," he grumbled. "I didn't even know when I was about to die. It just...happened, you know?"

"It's happened before."

Oh, Kanda. He was always the same. If it even was him, and not something pulled out of Daisya's memory.

"Not like this."

"No."

"It's different," he insisted. "I—maybe you don't pay attention, but I knew what was going on all those other times I got hurt! You know, I thought about it, I made a decision, and—and—it wasn't an accident. That's—at least that way, it's okay. I knew what I was doing."

He got jolted out of justifying it by Kanda sitting down on the bed. Why'd he have to go do that? He wiped his nose quickly on his arm.

"Doesn't matter how you die, if you're dead."

"Are you that dumb? You asked me to stay alive," he grumbled. "That was you!"

"Yeah," Kanda said, quieter.

Rolling on to his side, Daisya curled up and tried to get comfortable. He didn't really feel like talking, he just didn't have enough energy to stop.

"I didn't even know," he said.

"I never did," said Kanda. If Daisya didn't know him so well, it would sound like his voice was close to breaking.

That was a weird thing to do. That was a weird thing to say. It didn't have anything to do with Kanda, didn't he understand? Something floated up to the top of Daisya's wet-porridge mind.

"You said we'd talk later. What were you going to say?" he asked.

The pause before Daisya got an answer told him what he needed to know.

"Huh?"

He needled anyway. "When we were waiting for Marie."

"Oh," said Kanda.

Now that was rude. He rolled back over and tried to look at Kanda from the sideways angle. As he did, a swish told him Kanda looked away. So he'd been watching him, and now he was trying to hide, eh? Daisya flicked him on the arm.

"You looked like you wanted to say something, I'm not stupid," he said.

"Don't be stupid."

Another flick was deflected. Darn. He tried again, sneaking slowly, but Kanda got that one too.

"No-p-e."

"Fine. I was going back for your body. Not you."

In the moment's distraction, Daisya had finally landed a smack on him. "Got you!"

"Were you even listening?"

"Yeah."

He rolled back over, trying to get comfortable. Something ached no matter which way he turned. The cold had stopped being a distraction and now just sapped at him, making him shiver and stammer no matter what he tried to do.

"You'll die next time," Kanda said.

This again. Daisya pulled himself up just to make a face at him. When he saw Kanda's face, though, he almost felt bad. He didn't look mad at all. Just calm, completely still and quiet, sad-eyed like Mary in the chapel.

Dragging himself up, his body still shivered and ached. It was too hot. It was too cold. He was so tired. For all Kanda was looking at him, he wasn't even there.

"Daisya—"

"Shut up." He wiped his face quickly. "I hate this."

Kanda scoffed, face curling into the usual satisfied sneer. "Good."

And something broke in Daisya. He smacked Kanda again and got an elbow in return that almost knocked him over. That turned into another few blows, too weak to do any damage, until Daisya's shakes got the better of him.

"Shut up, I don't want to die! There's so much stuff I want to do."

"So do it. You're still alive."

"Am I?"

He pulled his knees up close, trying to keep the body heat he had left. He'd never complain about the heat again, he thought, watching Kanda unbuckle his coat and strip it off. The bastard didn't even feel cold. Daisya was wrapped in sheets and shivering and he didn't even—

Kanda spread the coat out over him, thick and warm.

"You're alive for now," he said.

"Okay," Daisya whispered. "Then I'm going home."

"What?"

Tucking the coat in around him, Daisya was almost as surprised. That hadn't been what he was going to say. It was just the truth. He knew it as soon as it came out.

"I don't want to stay there. Just, before I die, I need to go back there," he said. It made sense.

"When?"

"Now, I guess. I'm halfway there."

"You're not going by yourself," Kanda scoffed.

He looked up, seeing Kanda doing something by the window. He was holding something Daisya couldn't make out.

"What do you mean?"

"What I said. Go to sleep."

Daisya turned over, pulling his knees tighter. "Fine, you can come too."

He closed his eyes. It would be a while before he warmed up. At least he wasn't nauseous any more. The weight of another blanket landed on the bed, and a warmer body kicked its way under the covers.

When he finally fell asleep, there was nothing left for Daisya to dream.