CHAPTER 4: Things You Talk About At The Dinner Table
Fox deflected Mario's fireballs with his shield, then Fire Fox-ed him right out of the arena to win the round.
"Nice work," Mario said, after he had rematerialized in the stone room. "Not too bad at all."
"Thank you." Fox said, drinking from his water bottle. "I'm glad those people in the cloaks taught me that shield move."
"Who are those guys, anyway?" Mario wondered out loud. "They're so mysterious."
"They're probably like Mr. Handey… just shy in public, that's all."
"And who is this Mr. Handey?" Mario continued, getting into fresh overalls. "We haven't even met the guy."
"I don't know…" Fox said. "I really don't know."
Mario looked at his watch. "Well, come on, we can be the first ones at dinner."
"Okay."
On the way down the dirt path, Fox looked over by one of the other locker rooms and saw Link leaning against the wall talking to Samus. They both seemed to be in pleasant moods, and Fox couldn't hear what Links said, but Samus threw back her head and laughed, and they continued to talk.
Fox looked away. He had known his first instincts had been right. Not a ghost of a chance.
"Hey, Fox, what's wrong?" Mario asked, noticing his friend's downcast features.
Fox stole a quick look back, then shook his head and said, "It's nothing. Just forget about it."
Mario grinned slyly. "You want the space babe, don't you?"
Fox laughed sarcastically. "Who said that?"
Mario patted Fox's back. "You could have her, you know."
Fox snorted. "Yeah right. Looks like she's already got a 'friend.'"
Mario pulled Fox to a stop. "Looks like it, huh? Look again."
Fox turned around just in time to see Samus slap Link across the face, and Link walked away, growling.
"See?" Mario said. "She's wide open."
By this time they had reached the dinner hall, and they were the only ones there save for Zelda and Peach, who were doing each other's makeup.
"So what do I do?" Fox asked desperately as they got their trays.
"Well, first you have to ask yourself… do you really like her?"
Fox thought back to the locker room, to the beautiful face, the musical laugh… "Yes," he said after a moment. "I really do like her."
"Okay, we're making progress already." Mario said, as a clock-and-hood guy served them their hot dogs, which was the special tonight. "Next thing: Do you want to be passive or do you want to be aggressive?"
"Huh?"
"Well, do you want to make the first move, or drop hints until she makes the first move?"
Fox was bewildered. "I really don't know."
"Ok then, we'll do this the old fashioned way: A good ol' pour your heart out love confession!"
"O..Ok…"
"Now, let me ask you, what do you think is the best way to tell her you like her?"
Fox thought a moment. "Take her to dinner, maybe?"
They sat down at an empty table. "That's a good idea," Mario said, "But I've got a better one. Take her to see Two Hearts on a Velvet Couch."
Fox made a face. "That new, romantic, mushy chick-flick?"
"Yeah," Mario replied. "Girls like that stuff."
"Ok, then what?"
Mario whispered the rest of his plan.
Fox sat back and stared at the plumber. "Mario? How do you get so good at this? How do you know all this?"
Mario rolled his eyes and pointed at Peach. "I spent nights just trying to figure out how to get her to kiss me, and after all that it was just on the freakin nose! Who kisses people on the nose? I don't get it."
Fox laughed. "Well if this works, I swear I'll let you win all of our matches."
Mario chuckled. "Don't be silly. Anyhow, the shuttle ships take people all over the place from Battlefield City on weekends, so that would be the perfect time to go."
"Got it." Fox said. Just then, Samus walked in, as graceful as ever. She noticed Fox watching her and gave a little wave.
Mario whispered in Fox's ear: "She's practically yours already."
"Hey there, cowboys!" Peach said, walking over. "What are you two talking about so quietly over here?"
"Oh, nothing…" Fox said, winking at Mario. "Just, you know, guy stuff."
Peach rolled her eyes, then saw Zelda leaving and squealed, "Wait for me, wait for me! We have to watch Friends at 8!!!"