Chapter 13

An Old Flame from an Old Game

A/N: Welcome back everybody! After a long hiatus, 101 Stories About SSBM has returned! We're not missing a beat, and picking up right where we left off! For those who have remained faithful in waiting, THANK YOU! Now, let's get happening.

The sun dawned the following morning much as it had done all prior mornings, and just as in all those prior mornings, Donkey Kong opened his tiny primate eyes as soon as the sun fell on them.

'Time for another great day!' he thought to himself, launching himself into a standing position by thrusting his feet forward. He had pretty much decided that he was happy here in Battlefield City; it gave him something to do and he didn't feel like such an outsider, like he usually did. Plus, it gave him more time to beat on Mario, which was always a bonus.

'Bummer, I have to fight that racing guy today,' DK grumbled to himself as he checked his schedule. 'I hate him. Now, which tie should I wear?' he mused as he opened the small closet to reveal a dozen identical red neckties, each with the yellow letters 'DK' on them. 'Tough choice…'

When Donkey Kong had finally selected a tie and had groomed himself, he flung open his cabin door and breathed the fresh morning air. He slowly ambled down the steps and towards the main grounds. Along the way, he passed none other than Captain Falcon, who was playing ball with Ness.

"Hey, big man!" Falcon said with a wave as DK passed him, "I hear we're matched up today! Better practice up!"

Donkey Kong made a gesture that his gorilla friends would interpret as, 'may a monkey eat your wife,' and then continued on his way.

He was stopped a few dozen yards from the dining hall by Yoshi, who looked irate.

"Hey, DK," Yoshi said with annoyance in his voice, "Have you seen Pikachu and Kirby?"

Donkey Kong shook his head.

"Well if you see them, tell them they're time is limited."

Donkey Kong cocked his head to the side and grunted, "Bad?"

"Yeah, you could say that. They put my hand in a glass of warm water while I was sleeping."

Donkey Kong laughed.

"It's not funny, dude," Yoshi said, "Now I have to explain to the housekeeper that I pissed my bed." He sighed and said, "Anyway, tell them what I said." And he walked away.

Donkey Kong continued into the dining hall, and waved at Mario as he passed him.

"Hey there, big guy!" Mario said, waving back. "Don't choke in your fight today!"

Donkey Kong entered the cafeteria.

"What will it be?" asked a cloaked figure. "The usual?" Donkey Kong grunted affirmatively, and the figure poured him a big bowl of Kelloggs Banana Crunch.

He sat down at an empty table, and then realized he had forgotten to get a spoon. He considered just tipping the bowl into his mouth, but then shook his head. His species invented using tools, and he must follow their ways. It was a matter of principle.

After getting his spoon, he sat there and ate, looking around at the others as they had their breakfast. Donkey Kong considered himself to be well-adjusted; his days of savage barbarism were long since past. There was always a feeling of awkwardness, though, from living a life similar to humans. He was born to run wild in the jungle, and he missed those days. As he took another spoonful, he wondered how his son and Diddy were doing. Cranky was supposed to look after them while he was away, but Donkey Kong didn't trust him all that much, especially with youngsters.

All at once, the dining hall door was flung open, and a gorgeous woman ran in. She was about five foot ten, she had blonde hair and wore a red dress. She ran immediately to Mario.

"Mario!" she cried in a silky voice. "Hi!"

Mario had to do a double take before he recognized the woman. "It can't be… Pauline?"

"Yes, it's me!" she said, as she threw her arms around him. "God, how long has it been?"

Mario was quite taken aback by this sudden arrival. He and Pauline had not seen each other for over 25 years. "How… how did you know I was here?"

"I've been staying in an apartment in Aldaria, and I got word of some big tournament going on here!" she gushed. "I just knew you'd be here! I just knew it!"

Mario was suddenly tapped on the shoulder. He turned to see Peach standing behind him, looking quizzical and demanding. "Mario… who is this?"

Mario did his best to hide the awkwardness. "Um… Peach, this is Pauline. She's an old friend of mine."

"Old friend!" Pauline jeered. "Talk about understating the fact!" She took off Mario's hat and tussled his hair.

Peach glared at Pauline. "Well… I'll let you two 'catch up.'" And she stalked away.

"Aww, she's sweet. She's jealous of us, Marry!" Pauline giggled.

Mario scratched the back of his neck, blushing as he heard Pauline's pet name for him after so long. "See, Pauline, the thing of it is…"

But before he could say any more, Pauline had spotted Donkey Kong, who was standing across the room, gaping at her with eyes bulging.

"Oh God…" she whispered. "It's… it's HIM!" She leapt into Mario's arms. "Don't let him get me again! Don't let him get me!" she shrieked.

Donkey Kong's mind was in utter turmoil. Here, he had thought that everything was getting better for him, that he had forgotten his past. But… it was that girl! That very same girl who so many years ago drove him mad with barbaric lust!

He clamped his hand to his head and tried to look away. He grunted, struggling to think rationally. Images began flashing in his mind: the Empire Building; barrels, millions of barrels! Wait… he was safe from Mario here, wasn't he? He'd dare not attack him here! He could take the girl back! He could do it all again, the right way! YES!

When Donkey Kong opened his eyes, there was a look in them that Mario wished he would never see again.

"Calm down, big man," Mario said, moving in front of Pauline. "Just take it easy… relax… WHOA!" He cried out in surprise as Donkey Kong slapped him aside, grabbed Pauline, threw her on his back, and bounded out of the room.

Mario swore. Not just once, either. Many, many times. And the bad words, too. Then he got to his feet and bolted after the big ape.

Upon exiting the dining hall, he rammed head-on into Link.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, man, what's your problem?" Link asked, fixing his hat.

"No time to talk!" Mario said. "It's 1980 all over again!" He scanned the compound and swore again. Donkey Kong was carrying Pauline up to the roof of the main battle dome… where the torch was burning. He ran towards it as fast as he could.

"What's going on here?" rasped a cloak-and-hood person, sweeping out from the administration building.

"The monkey's got a girl," Link replied. "I think Mario is going to need help."

The cloak and hood person focused his gaze on Donkey Kong and saw what he was doing. "This is unacceptable," he whispered. He turned back to the doorway and hissed something, and four other of his kind swept out and began moving towards the battle dome.

Mario, meanwhile, was beginning to climb up the battle dome, the roof of which was designed very much like a round ball of little stairs.

"Mario, be careful!" Peach called up to him from where she stood on the ground nearby. Several of the others had come to see what happened.

"25 feet," Popo murmured, watching from the roof of his bunk.

"How high can you go?" Nana wondered.

"Back!" Donkey Kong growled at Mario, and he proceeded to rip off little chunks of the roof and toss them down at him. He was working his way to the center of the roof, closer and closer to the large flame of the torch.

"Put her down, Donkey Kong!" Mario warned, dodging the debris. "I know it's been a long time, but I will not hesitate to beat the spaghetti out of you!"

DK made a mock-inquisitive "oh really?" sound, and then ambled over to the torch and held Pauline above it.

"Oh God! Oh God!" Pauline wailed. "Mario, get back or he'll do it! Save yourself, there's no girders to fall on this time!"

"I'm… not… leaving you!" Mario roared, and he vaulted himself up onto the flat part of the roof, and jump kicked Donkey Kong to the ground. At the apex of the jump, he grabbed Pauline from DK's arm and set her on the floor. "Wait here," he said with a smile.

He then proceeded to walk over to Donkey Kong and start kicking him. "What's the matter? What's the matter? You can't put your big apish libido to rest after 25 years?"

Donkey Kong reached up and seized Mario by the throat. He stood up and glared into the plumber's eyes, tightening his grip. "Die…" he grunted, but then he let go and wailed in pain.

"You first," Pauline sneered, and she removed the piece of the roof she had stabbed DK in the shoulder with.

DK grabbed his shoulder and began to cry. He fell on his stomach and bawled, rocking back and forth. Mario ran to Pauline and embraced her, and out of impulse, kissed her.

Just then, the cloak-and-hood folk arrived on the roof. "We've come to arrest the troublemaker," they said.

"No, it's okay," Mario said, kneeling down and patting DK on the head. "I think we knocked some sense into him. He'll be all right."

The cloak-and-hood figure hissed menacingly. "I'm taking your word. Just know that any more infractions, and you're both out."

"Don't worry, sir." Mario said with an awkward salute.

"Good." They replied, and then the five of them began to walk off the roof in separate directions, and Mario gasped. Having torn off so many pieces of the roof, the support bolts were visible… and the hooded men were about to walk over each one of them.

Mario held tight to Pauline and Donkey Kong. "I suppose the day just wouldn't be complete," he said.

Coming up in chapter 14: A brotha arrives on the scene, y'all!