Chapter 14

Discretion is the Better Part of Valor

The next day dawned grey and overcast over Battlefield City: long, low stratus clouds blanketed the sky as far as the eye could see. Because of this, the general demeanor of the combatants was somewhat lessened, as can happen with depressing weather conditions.

Ness was still in bed when the start-of-day horn blew. Captain Falcon walked into the room, combing his jet-black hair before putting on his helmet. "Come on, son, up and at 'em!" he said as he admired himself in the mirror.

"I'm not goin'," Ness mumbled.

"Why the heck not?" Falcon asked, surprised. "You're fighting against Pikachu and Kirby today. Everyone knows you can kick their rears!"

"It's too icky out," Ness replied, turning over. "Besides, I can't find my bat."

Falcon blinked, and looked around the room to find that Ness's Cracked Bat was in the same corner it always was, leaning up against the wall.

"What's the matter, kid?" Falcon asked, kneeling down by the bed. "Don't feel like fighting today?"

"No!" Ness whined. "Mario gave me a black eye yesterday, and Yoshi pooped me out over a ledge."

Falcon chuckled. "Well that wasn't very nice of them. But after all, it all goes away after you fall off the stage."

"I just want to go home," Ness said. "I miss my friends."

Falcon patted Ness on the head. "Come on, kid, we all have to do our part. I'm sure your friends would be proud of you. And besides, we'll soon be gone."

Ness sat up and rubbed his eyes. "I wonder how Paula is doing…"

"Oh? Who is that?" Falcon asked as he fit his helmet over his head.

Ness blushed and looked aside. "A friend of mine. I…" he fell silent, unable to finish his sentence.

"It's all right, son," Falcon said, turning to Ness. "Now come on, show me your moves! We have to get out there and do our very best!"

"Yeah…" Ness said quietly, but he couldn't help but be uplifted by Falcon's exuberance. "Yeah! Let's kick their butts!" He sprang out of bed on a trail of psychic energy.

Pikachu and Jigglypuff were walking towards the breakfast hall together. Jigglypuff had opted to wear her green headband, while Pikachu had donned Ash's hat, or at least a replica that Ash had bought for him.

"Pikachu," Jigglypuff said in a sing-song voice, "I like that hat."

"Thanks," Pikachu answered, wiggling one of his ears. "Your headband is nice."

"I'm glad you think so," Jigglypuff swooned, twirling around, causing the ends of the accessory to make little trails behind her. "I wore it for you."

Pikachu turned a slight shade of scarlet. "Um… cool." He picked up a bit of speed, but Jigglypuff caught up with him in a flash.

"Pikachu, if we get paired up to fight, would you let me win because I'm a girl?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Pikachu said with a slight snort. "I'd bring it."

"Oh really? So you'd bring the shizzle?"

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Yes. I'd trizzle the shizzle all over the hizzle, okay?"

Jigglypuff snarled and leapt on him, pinning him down and headbutting him from above. "Bring the shizzle then!" she continually shrieked. "Bring the shizzle! Bring it!" Releasing Pikachu from her grip, she watched as he took off at lightning speed over the hill. "He's as good as mine," she said with a smile.

Popo and Nana were walking towards the breakfast hall when Popo stopped and cocked his head.

"I hear something," he murmured.

"What do you hear?" Nana asked quietly from his side.

"An animal," Popo replied. "Come." He ran off towards the source of the noise, Nana invariably at his side.

They eventually stopped in front of Bowser's bunk. "In here," Popo said.

"Hey guys," said Samus, who was leaving her nearby bunk and was clad in armor but no helmet. "Is everything okay?"

"Bowser in trouble, maybe," Nana said with anxiety. She and Popo hopped up to the door and took their hammers to it. Samus came up and helped them by wrenching it open.

The sight they beheld when they looked inside was a sorry one: Bowser was lying in the center of his bunk on his back, moaning miserably, and was a whole shade paler than he normally was.

"Oh my gosh," Samus said, dashing into the room. "Bowser! Are you okay?"

Bowser opened his eyes, which were bloodshot. "Kill me," he grunted, and then squeezed his eyes shut again. He was evidently in great pain.

"What's happened?" Nana asked.

"He's pretty sick," Samus observed, putting a hand on Bowser's skin. "He's a little chilly too. I wonder…"

They were interrupted by Fox, who found them there. "Hey sugar, did you see the… oh my God," he said as he saw Bowser. "What happened to this guy?"

"I don't know," Samus replied. "He's got some sort of illness. I don't know what to do."

Fox thought for a moment, then said, "We should go see Mario. He's been through a lot of confrontations with this guy."

"Good thinking," Samus agreed. She turned to the Ice Climbers. "You guys stay here with him until we get back, okay?"

Popo and Nana nodded their consent, and Fox and Samus ran off to find Mario.

They finally found him in the dining hall, talking to Peach and munching on a bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel.

Fox dashed up to Mario and tapped him on the shoulder. "Um… Mario, we have a problem."

Mario quickly looked up and put the sandwich down. "What's wrong?"

"It's Bowser," Samus said with urgency. "He's very sick, he needs help!"

For several seconds, Mario's features were unreadable; finally he said, "What exactly is wrong with him?"

"I don't know," Samus replied. "We found him in state on the floor, he's pale and sickly-looking."

Princess Peach, who was sitting nearby, couldn't help but put her hand to her cheek in genuine concern.

After several more moments, Mario shrugged and said, "Take him to the infirmary then," and turned back to his food.

"Don't you even care?" Fox asked.

Mario looked up for a moment, then said, "No, I don't."

"Mario!" Peach said, aghast.

"What?" he snapped, looking up at her. "Why should I care? Why should you care? He's done nothing but make our lives miserable this whole time."

"But you want to be a nice person, don't you?" Peach fumed. "You want to be thought of as a kind, caring individual, as you've tried to make me believe for 20 years?"

Fox and Samus were silent, watching the argument.

"Yes, I do," Mario said, "But in this circumstance,"

"But nothing! If you truly were a compassionate person, you'd have learned one of the most important lessons in life!"

Mario rolled his eyes. "Which is what? 'Keep your mortal nemesis alive?'"

"No, Mario. That discretion is the better part of valor. You'd know that letting Bowser suffer and die while there's still work left for him in this world is the wrong thing to do."

Mario gave a mighty sigh, rubbed his hand over his face, then roared, "All right, all right! Let's go have a look at the fat turtle!" and he got up and stomped from the room, with Fox, Samus, and Peach behind him.

"Hello, Bowser," Mario said coldly as he walked into the bunk.

Bowser opened an eye and observed Mario with it. "Way to make me feel better," he grunted to Fox.

"Not doing so good," Popo muttered, looking up at Samus.

Mario walked over to Bowser and pried open one of his eyes and looked into it. Then he took Bowser's pulse, which for the Koopas is found in the tip of the tail. Finally, he said, "Well, I'm not Dr. Mario, but I've seen this before. It's a virus that thrives in the caves of the Mushroom Kingdom."
"What's it called?" Fox asked.

"Fungus Amungus," Mario replied. "He's probably had it for a while. It acts up in intermittent spurts."

"Now that I think about it, there was a time during the third time he captured me when he was bedridden for days." Peach said. "It was probably this."

"Is it deadly?" Nana asked.

"It can be," Mario said with a nod. "There are vegetables in the Mushroom Kingdom that help treat it, so he's probably survived with it up until now. But now, I don't know what we're going to do…"

"There's no way we can get the vegetables?" Samus asked, scratching her head.

"They have to be specially grown," Mario answered. "And the only person I know who can grow them is my brother, Luigi."

"But isn't he living in Subcon now?" Peach asked.

"Yeah, and therein lies the problem," Mario grumbled. "As far as I can remember, the only way to get there is through that cave we found, but I have no idea how to get there from here. I remember this funny tree on the way… it forked halfway up and then merged back together."

Popo ran up to Mario and pulled on his pants leg. "I know that tree! I saw it! When I climbed up to the roof of the stadium, to see if I could do it, I saw on the horizon that tree!"

Peach and Mario looked at each other, wide-eyed. "You mean that Subcon is no more than a few miles away from Battlefield City!" Mario asked.

"If it is the same tree, then yes." Popo said.

"Well then there's no time to lose!" Mario cried, and he bolted out the door towards the stadium, Peach hot on his heels.

After they passed the Stadium, the terrain began shifting from short grass and bushes to more brown land and rocks. Finally, they saw the tree in the distance.

"There it is," Mario said, huffing and puffing. Peach wasn't as out of breath as Mario, since she was able to make use of her floating ability intermittently.

At length, they skidded to a halt at the foot of the tree. "Okay," Mario said, looking around, "Any of this look familiar?"

Peach scanned the landscape. Finally she said, "Let's look over by that boulder. I have a vague recollection."

They walked over to the large grey rock and examined it. Mario slid his finger along the edge. "It feels like there's space behind here," he said. He and Peach leaned up against the left side of the rock and pushed with all their might, and it rolled to the side, revealing a cave.

"Can it be?" Mario whispered, looking inside. A long stairway extended up, seemingly past the ceiling of the cave. Clasping hands, they walked its length, and opened the door at the end.

Before they knew what was happening, they were falling, landing with a thud on a green hill.

"Man, oh man," Mario said, standing and dusting himself off, "This sure takes me back."

"I got mud on my dress," Peach complained, standing up and swatting at the mark. Giving up at length, she said, "So where's Luigi?"

"In his last letter, he told me that he was staying in a little house by the big waterfall, where those falling logs are. We should head over there."

And so, as they once did in elder times, Peach and Mario set off across the hilly and lush landscape of Subcon, passing by Shyguys, Tweeters, and other native creatures.

"Do you think the extra life mushroom is still here?" Mario wondered out loud.

"I wouldn't think so," Peach said. "Besides, you don't operate on lives anymore." After walking for a bit, she said, "Just out of curiosity, what would happen when you lost a life?"

Mario shrugged. "Nothing, really. I would hear a small pop, and then I'd suddenly be further back on the path. I learned to take it in stride. It was when I lost all of them that was weird. Then, I would just kind of fall asleep, sometimes for what felt like days."

"Odd," Peach said.

Finally, they heard the rushing of the massive waterfall that marked the halfway point of the first country of Subcon. They walked up to it and saw off to the side a mailbox stuck in the ground, and a sign that said, "Residence of Luigi Mario. Please let yourself in."

"There's no door!" Peach exclaimed.

Mario scratched his head, then snapped his fingers. "Of course!" he said. He scanned the ground nearby, and saw several red plant tufts sticking up. He picked one out, and found a red, bubbling potion. He dropped in on the ground behind the mailbox, causing a large, red oak door to appear, and upon this, he knocked.

"It's not locked," came a voice from the other side.

Mario pushed it open and entered upon a small room with bare floors, a couch against the wall looking at a TV, some small pieces of artwork on the walls, and a ceiling fan light fixture spinning slowly. The TV was on, tuned to some kind of documentary about opera (hosted by Phanto!), but Luigi was nowhere in sight.

"Hello?" Peach called, walking in behind Mario. "Luigi?"

"Do my ears deceive me?" said the voice again, and Luigi came walking in from an adjoining room. He was taller than Mario, wearing green clothes with blue overalls. He had brown hair and a black mustache, and a green plumbers hat with an L on it.

"Princess! Mario!" he cried upon entering, and he ran to the visitors and hugged each one in turn. "It's so good to see you! Gosh, it's been so long! I thought you'd only be here to visit on the holidays."

"Well, surprise surprise!" Mario said, spreading his arms. "It is good to see you, Luigi."

"Likewise," said the Princess, smiling warmly. She would never tell Mario this, but she was the slightest bit taken with Luigi.

Luigi's focus immediately fell to the apartment and he began hastily moving things around. "Come in and sit down. I'm sorry, this place is such a dump."

"Actually we didn't come just to visit," Mario said uneasily.

"Really?" Luigi asked, looking up. "What's up then?"

"Have you still been growing the silicus vegetables?"

Luigi chuckled. "That's what you came here to ask me? What for?"

Mario shifted his weight. "It's… for Bowser. He's got fungus amungus, and the vegetables don't grow where we're staying."

"Let me get this straight," Luigi said, putting his hands forward, "You want to help Bowser?"

"It's a very long story, bro," Mario said. "But I've finally decided it's the right thing to do, and I think you should trust me."

Luigi sighed. "Well, if you really think so, then follow me." He beckoned them through the adjoining rooms and out to a small backyard, where there was a brown rectangle of dirt with green tufts sticking up out of it.

"This is just a small crop I've been tending to," Luigi said as they walked up to it. "Once I find a bigger place, I can plant more."

Mario plucked one of the pale green vegetables and sniffed it. "These are really well grown," he complimented. "You still have it."

Luigi smiled and kicked the ground.

"There's enough here to cure Bowser," Peach said, bending down. "But I don't know what we'll do if he comes down with it again during the tournament…"

"Tournament?" Luigi asked, looking up. "What tournament?"

"Oh… it's this fighting tournament Peach and I are in," Mario said, choosing his words carefully. "It's really no big deal."

"Oh… I see," Luigi muttered, looking away. "And, you didn't ask me to come along?"

Peach's face softened. "Luigi, it wasn't really our choice…"

"No, no, I understand," Luigi interrupted. "Belive me, I do. It's always been like this. Always the second fiddle, always the backup man…" He fell to muttering incomprehensible things under his breath. Then he looked up and gazed over his vegetable patch. "Gee, there's not a lot of these things here… I doubt I can spare any…"

Mario rolled his eyes and sighed. "Look, if you really want, we can take you back with us and ask them to let you in."

"You would do that?" Luigi asked.

"Yes, we'll make that effort," Mario replied. "But whether they accept you or not, we need those veggies. And hey, I'm sure that if you're allowed to stay, they'll give you the biggest vegetable patch you could ask for."

Luigi rubbed his chin, then said, "All right, it's a deal. Now, get some gloves on and we'll harvest these babies."

A short while later, with a basketful of vegetables in tow, the now trio of heroes sprinted across the outskirts of Battlefield City towards the compound.

"Wow, is this where you guys are staying?" Luigi marvled.

"Yes," Peach replied.

"The stadium is as big as your castle, Princess!" Luigi observed.

"But I bet not half as expensive!" Peach said haughtily.

At great length, they arrived back on the main grounds, and wasted no time getting to Bowser's bunk.

"Out of the way!" Mario shouted as he burst in. Popo, Nana, and Yoshi, who had been sitting with Bowser, quickly moved aside, but not before making a happy noise upon seeing Luigi.

Luigi approached Bowser, and said, "Open wide, big fella."

Barely conscious, it was all Bowser could do to force open his huge jaws. Luigi dumped the entire basket of vegetables into Bowser's mouth, and stood back.

For several moments, Bowser was still. Then, a low growl began in Bowser's throat, growing louder until he leapt forward onto his feet and roared, shaking the walls of the whole cabin.

"How do you feel, Bowser?" Mario asked softly.

Bowser looked around and blinked a few times before settling his gaze on Mario. He proceeded to pick the plumber up in his claws.

"Bowser," Peach began warningly.

But she had nothing to fear, because Bowser then noogied Mario massively and laughed. "I could learn a thing or two from this guy!" he cackled. "What can I say to you?"

"You can put me down to start," Mario said, squirming.

"Of course." Bowser released Mario, then laughed again. "I tell you what: I'll give you one 'Get Back Princess Free' coupon. How does that sound?"

"That's our Bowser," Luigi said, and everyone in the room had a good laugh.

Their merry time was interrupted by the entering of a hooded figure. "What's going on here? I heard loud noises." Then he saw Luigi and hissed. "Who are you?"

Mario stepped forward quickly. "Um, this is my brother, Luigi. I was hoping you'd consider him for entry into the tournament."

Although the hood concealed his face, it could be assumed that the hooded figure was looking Luigi up and down. Finally, he said, "I think not. He is too scrawny."

"Scrawny!" Luigi bellowed, and acting on impulse, he wheeled around and socked Bowser in the nose, knocking him over.

"Hey!" Bowser cried, "What'd I do?"

"See?" Mario said proudly. "He has power."

The figure hissed again, then said, "Very well. Perhaps he can lend some valor to this event."

"Oh, and can we arrange for some kind of garden for him, maybe at the back of the compound? It's for the health of a combatant."

"Done."

"All right!" Mario and Luigi cried together, giving each other the high five. "It'll be just like old times, eh bro?" Mario said, elbowing his brother.

"You know it!" Luigi replied.

"Come on, let's get some lunch!"

"Great, I'm starving!"

Popo looked at Nana and groaned. "This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!"

To Be Continued…

Next Chapter: We begin looking at our fights in great detail!