Chapter 3: Chris's Sixteenth Birthday
A month later, after many failed attempts to teach Chris to drive, Brian finally gave up and paid Peter the $50. Peter consistently rubbed it in Brian's face, and Brian felt embarrassed. He did his best to ignore Peter's insults.
Not long after that, Chris's sixteenth birthday had finally arrived. The Griffins held a big celebration for him in the kitchen, where he opened presents, and ate cake.
Earlier that morning, Chris got dressed in his room, running out as soon as possible to avoid the dreaded evil monkey in his closet. He hurried downstairs and entered the kitchen, wanting to get breakfast. He was taken aback when he saw the family in party hats and the kitchen decorated. He seemed a bit surprised as to why the Griffins were in party hats, as that seemed a bit juvenile for someone's sixteenth birthday.
"Happy sixteenth birthday, Chris!" Lois said.
"Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad. Thanks, everybody!" Chris said.
Peter was holding the family video camera, recording the occasion. "Chris, why don't you open your gifts, and then, we'll have breakfast," Lois suggested.
"Okay!" Chris shouted, diving into his gifts. He ripped the wrapping paper off all of them, not bothering to do a neat job. He looked like a savage. He uncovered Peter's gift first, which was a set of barbells. "Thanks, Dad," Chris said.
"Now maybe you can lose that weight and be nice, big, and buff like me," Peter gloated.
"Peter, you're fat!" Lois said.
"That's what I want you to think…" Peter said.
Lois sighed in disgust. "Chris, open mine next," Lois said. Chris tore apart the cardboard box from Lois's gift, and he saw a plush brown stuffed monkey animal. "Now you've got a real 'evil monkey' for your closet!" Lois laughed.
"But Mom, there really is an evil monkey in my closet," Chris insisted.
"Oh, you and your monkey," Peter and Lois laughed together.
"Will you open mine, next?" Brian asked.
"Sure, Brian," Chris said, tearing open the cardboard box, revealing a Rhode Island driving manual.
"I figured that if you're actually smart enough to read, then maybe you'll understand the stuff in this book, and hopefully, it will help you with your driving," Brian said.
"Thanks, Brian," Chris said.
"Oh, before we forget, Meg sent you this from college," Lois said, handing Chris a small brown box.
Chris ripped it open and saw a G.I. Joe doll. "Awesome!" Chris said. He took the doll out of its plastic enclosure. "I'm gonna blow you up later. Ha ha ha!" Chris giggled.
"Open mine or die, you fat pig!" the four-year-old Stewie shouted.
"Stewie, settle down, he will," Lois said.
Chris tore open the box from Stewie, and in it, he smelt a horrible odor. "Agh! What is this?"
"It's dung," Stewie smirked. "I figured you needed it. It's a little bit stronger than the mental capacity of your brain!"
"Awesome, thanks, dude!" Chris said, taking the dung out and rubbing it all over his face, making a huge mess.
"Chris, stop, that's nasty," Lois said, taking the dung from him and throwing it in the backyard. She then washed her hands to remove the remaining dung from her hands.
Later that day, Chris and the rest of the Griffins ate birthday cake. Chris also got a phone call from Meg, who wished him a happy birthday. After dinner, Peter informed Chris that he would take him to the department of motor vehicles to get his license the next morning. Chris was overjoyed and thanked Peter and the others for a great sixteenth birthday.