Again, you guys have all been absolutely brilliant with your feedback! This fic is really doing great so far over here and I'm glad that you all like it so much. Keep on reading and reviewing! I definitely think you guys are going to like the Nathan/Haley scenes in here!
Ch. 11 – Symphony
The moon shone brightly outside, illuminating dark shadows in Haley's room. Tossing, she pulled the covers up over her face, trying to block out the light, trying to get comfortable at the same time. "Ugh," she mumbled. Finally, she gave up trying to find a comfortable position, and leaned over, opening the drawer of her bedside table. She rummaged in the drawer for a little while, and found a clear plastic container. Unscrewing the lid, she poured out the remains of the container into her palm. Only two left. When had she taken them all? Granted, she had been having a lot of sleepless nights lately, but she usually didn't resort to the sleeping pills unless she was desperate. Sighing, she put her palm to her mouth, and in a quick gulp, swallowed them both. This is the last time I'll ever do something like this, she promised herself.
She tossed a little more, and then finally fell into a deep sleep. But somehow, she kept on hearing a voice inside her head which echoed resignedly. Well, that's what you said the last time too, the little voice said.
---
"Haley!" Peyton yelled, impatiently. "Haley, I'm going to be late!"
A sleepy Haley poked her head out of the door, still in her pyjamas. "What?" she asked groggily, rubbing her eyes.
"Haley, it's three-thirty in the evening, and you're still sleeping?"
Haley squinted at Peyton, who looked frazzled. "You're getting on my case? Might I even remind you that you, Peyton Sawyer, earned the nickname 'Sleeping Beauty' in the yearbook, our junior year?" She paused, folding her arms across her chest. "And besides, it's not every week that the music school closes for a holiday break, okay? So, I deserve to sleep in."
"Okay, fine." Peyton rolled her eyes in defeat. "But I really need your help. Jake's at a press conference for the Celtics, I don't know where the hell Brooke or Lucas are, and I just got an emergency call from the electrician who was supposed to complete the wiring by today for the place!" she said hurriedly, referring to Tric.
"Relax," Haley said, smiling. "What do you want me to do?"
Peyton looked at her, pleadingly. "I need to you watch Jenny for a little while."
Haley grinned. "Of course! Why do you look so worried? We'll have a ball, Jenny and I."
"Well, it's just that I've never really left Jenny alone before, when I was supposed to look after her. You know, with what happened with Nikki back then, I've been really careful," Peyton said quickly, stumbling over her own words. "I don't want Jake to think that I'll be a bad mother, you know. Or whatever it is that he wants me to be, because I'm really not sure either." She frowned. "God knows."
"Hey hey, it's me. Tutor girl, right?" Haley laughed. "It'll be okay, I promise not to let Jenny out of my sight, and Jake knows he can trust me," she said reassuringly.
Peyton let out a deep frazzled breath. "Okay. Thanks a million, Haley."
---
"Your Aunt Peyton is getting older as we speak," Haley joked, as she walked hand in hand with Jenny to the park nearby. "She's getting so long-winded!"
Jenny laughed happily, a little skip evident in her steps. "Oh, she's not as half-bad as Daddy," she said, her two pigtails bouncing as she shook her head.
Haley joined in her laughter, feeling a little better than she had felt all week. The air was fresh, the wind was breezy in her face, and she felt light, for some strange reason. "So, you want some ice-cream?"
"Yes, Aunt Haley."
"Yes please," Haley corrected her automatically.
"Yes please," Jenny echoed obediently. "Can I have a chocolate one, please, Aunt Haley?"
Haley smiled at her sudden politeness. The power of ice-cream. "Of course you may."
They both stepped to the front of the ice-cream van, which was gaily playing a Christmas jingle. "Hello, what can I get you?"
"A chocolate cone for the young lady," Haley said. "And a-"
A voice came from behind her, completing her sentence. "Double vanilla with chocolate sauce coated with a dash of rainbow sprinkles."
Startled, Haley spun around, her brow creased.
"That hasn't changed, right?" Nathan stood there, a twinkle in his eye. "Mac and cheese, strawberry-flavoured milkshakes and rainbow sprinkles; the food of the gods," he said, his tone light and teasing. "Am I right?"
Haley bit her lip, not knowing what to think. "Yeah, spot on," she finally managed, cracking a smile.
He smiled back at her, something in his eyes that she couldn't quite read. They all stood waiting as the man got all their orders, two double cones for Nathan and Haley and two single ones for Jenny and Mike. Nathan insisted for paying for them all, calling it a treat from him.
The four of them walked on in silence, slowly licking at their ice-creams as they approached the park. Nathan and Haley, not knowing what to say, and Jenny and Mike, busy trying to eat their ice-creams before it all melted in the sun.
Finally, Jenny spoke up. "Hi there, my name's Jenny. What's yours?"
Mike grinned shyly. "It's Mike," he said, half-whispering.
"I'm six," she announced.
He nodded, as though in awe. "I'm five."
Nathan smiled at their exchange of words and squatted down to their level. "Mike, why don't you and Jenny go to the slides and play for awhile, okay? Haley and I will wait for you."
"Aunt Haley," Jenny corrected.
Nathan turned to flash a smile at Haley and returned his attention to Jenny. "Aunt Haley," he repeated after her.
Mike and Jenny ran off to the playground area, quickly warming up to each another. Nathan's gaze followed the both of them protectively as they ran. Finally, after he was convinced that the two children were safe, he sat down on a bench, and motioned for Haley to follow suit. She sat down, making sure to keep a safe distance away from Nathan on the bench, her hands automatically fidgeting.
"Imagine meeting you here," Haley broke the silence, keeping her tone neutral.
Nathan shrugged. "We come here usually, for Mike to have a run-around, and for me to think."
"Yeah, there's just something peaceful about this place."
He turned to look at her, his blue eyes painfully piercing. "Haley, I need to ask you something." Before she could say anything, or even object, he rushed on. "You kept my name, right?"
Haley looked down at her shoes, scuffing against the pavement. "I- I didn't see a need not to."
His eyes softened. "I'm glad."
"Well, you shouldn't be," she finally looked up to stare at him in the eye.
Nathan sighed, his heart hurting when he saw the pain in her eyes. "I don't know what to say, Haley. We have a lot of unsolved matters."
"They were solved, sort of."
"Yeah, if our paths hadn't crossed again," Nathan said, his voice rising slightly.
"Well, I couldn't help that, could I?"
He threw up his hands in exasperation. "God, dammit."
"There's no point talking about it now, Nathan," she said slowly, in a resolved voice. "We'll just end up arguing."
He sighed, giving in. "We'll have to talk about it soon, Haley."
She nodded. "I know we do. But I don't know if I can. Or if I know what there is to say." There were so many things she wanted to say, that she wanted to do, that she wanted to know. But the only thing was, she didn't know if she could ever do any of those. She didn't have the strength.
Nathan nodded, letting it go for the moment, not wanting to end up arguing again. He looked away, his gaze scanning the playground for Mike and Jenny. "Jenny's beautiful."
"Yeah, she is. Jake's a proud father," Haley smiled along with him. "And she's a very intelligent child, too."
"That's great."
"Mike's a great kid, too. He's got a real ear for music," Haley commented, as she watched the both of them play.
Nathan shrugged. "He didn't get that from me, for sure."
Taylor doesn't have a single musical bone in her body, the bitter voice sounded again. "Maybe it skips a generation."
He shrugged. "Speaking of music, you never did tell me what happened to you and your music."
"I got into teaching music, instead."
"When did the dream change?"
Haley sighed. "Somewhere along the way, when dreams didn't matter anymore."
---
The four of them got going when it got dark, Nathan wanting to walk Haley and Jenny home to their apartment. They hadn't talked much, just the occasional conversation or a random statement. Somewhere along the line, both Haley and Nathan had just stopped thinking, and started enjoying the silent company they both gave each other. They weren't really talking, but it was just the oddly comforting presence, just like before. They were both falling again, falling so deep. But they just didn't know it yet.
"So, here we are," Haley turned around, Jenny following her. "Thanks," she said simply.
He nodded, acknowledging it. No further words were needed beyond that. "So, I'll see you?"
"Maybe," she smiled. She didn't know if that was her being careful, and not wanting to see him again so soon, or whether it was her, being coy. She was contradicting herself every step of the way, and it scared her.
"Bye Mike," Jenny called gaily. "Let's play together again!"
Mike nodded. "Can we, daddy?" he turned to Nathan, his eyes excited.
"Only if Aunt Haley says so," he smirked, an adorable smirk, obviously teasing her.
Haley raised an eyebrow and placed her hand on Jenny's back, guiding her toward the door. "We'll see, Jenny." Turning around, she waved. "Bye Mike," she called out. Looking up at Nathan, she merely nodded, cocking her head to the side. No words were needed, again.
---
Brooke hummed tunelessly as she went though the racks, not bothering to look at the price tags as she went along. "Nope. Ugly. So last season. Looks like something my grandmother would wear, and ooh, cute," she said, talking to herself as she flipped the hangers past. She picked up the last piece and held it up against her body. "Pretty hot," she said absorbedly to herself, looking pleased.
"You know, pink is really overrated?" A voice came from behind her.
She turned around, her many shopping bags nearly hitting him as she twirled. Her eyes immediately narrowed. "We are done talking," she said through clenched teeth.
"Oh no, we're not," Lucas said firmly, his gaze straight.
She squinted at him, like how he always did to her. "Read my lips, Lucas, I am on a shopping trip. Do. Not. Disturb," she said, stressing each word clearly.
"Then, I'll ruin your shopping trip," he grinned. "If you promise to sit down and talk to me, then I'll even pay for your shopping trip. But as of now? There. Is. No. Shopping. Trip," he said, imitating her tone of voice.
"You can't ruin it," Brooke snapped back at him.
He raised an eyebrow, as though accepting her challenge. "You'd look fat in that," he said, pointing at the skirt she had just picked out.
Her eyes widened in shock. "Would not!"
"Would too!"
"Lucas Scott, telling me that I look fat, would not be a good way to make me talk to you."
He shrugged comically, knowing that he had won. "But it would ruin your shopping trip," he said, grinning as she let out a groan of irritation. It wasn't how he had wanted to get her attention, but it sure as hell worked every time.
---
"Knock, knock!"
Mel looked up, pushing her glasses which she used for work up the bridge of her nose. That voice, it couldn't be, could it? "Ugh, you? Could someone please tell me why God is punishing me this way?"
Chris walked in, without waiting for an invitation, and sat down at her desk, opposite her. "I brought you doughnuts."
"Will poison ooze if I bite into it?" she retorted, taking off her glasses and placing them on the table.
"No, just Viagra," he joked.
Mel's eyes narrowed into tiny slits. "Already needing it? Awww, poor baby," she said sarcastically.
He laughed. "Okay, you got me there."
"What are you doing here, Reese Gellar?"
"It's Chris Keller."
She shrugged nonchalantly while she was actually laughing inside. She knew getting his name wrong would irritate him. "Right. Reese was the short one with brown hair booked for my Wednesday date."
He laughed again, shaking his head. "You're good."
"Comes with lawyer territory. So, pray tell, why are you in my office? Been charged for sexual harassment?"
"No, actually, I'm here to make a date."
"No, you're not," she answered smoothly.
Chris leaned in closer to Mel. "That was the deal, remember? I stay away from Haley, I get a date with you."
Mel rolled her eyes, and returned back to her work. "You're insane."
"Come on, baby, not going to even give it a go?" he said conceited. "The Chris Keller would make it worth your while," he raised an eyebrow suggestively.
"The Chris Keller," she muttered viciously under her breath. "If I agree to one date, will you stay away from me and Haley?" she finally offered, losing her patience. One date, what harm could it do? She'd dealt with worse sleazes during defence trials.
Chris held out his hand. "Deal."
She shook it firmly. "Deal," she echoed lamely.
He squeezed her hand gently, and leaned in, so close that his lips were almost touching her ear. "Wear the glasses, sweetie, and wear your hair like this," he said, indicating the bun she had her hair up in. "It's a personal fantasy of mine," he smirked, and left, closing the door behind him.
"Urgh!" Mel shouted, throwing a book at the closed door, just where his head had been moments ago.
---
Haley sat Jenny down on the swings, and pushed her slowly, afraid that she may fall off. "You like that, Jenny?"
Jenny nodded happily. "Thank you, Aunt Haley."
"Haley!" They both heard a yell from the other side of the park. Haley looked up squinting. A little figure in a red baseball cap jumped up and down, waving frantically. "Jenny!" The man scooped up the shouting boy and closed the distance with a quick jog.
"Haley," Nathan said breathless, lowering Mike to the ground. Immediately, Mike ran off towards Jenny, both of them shouting happily at each other.
"Hey," she smiled. "Looks like they're hitting it off pretty well, huh?" she asked, gesturing towards Mike and Jenny.
"Yeah, that's great," he nodded. "So, what a coincidence," he continued, his tone neutral.
Haley shrugged. "Yeah, twice in two days."
"How've you been?"
"The same, since you saw me yesterday," she laughed.
Nathan smiled as she laughed. God, she was beautiful. Her eyes lit up, and her whole face just glowed when she laughed. He didn't think that he'd ever seen a person laugh more genuinely than Haley. That was exactly what she was. Genuine. "That's good to know," he joked.
"And how've you been?"
"Same old, same old."
Haley rubbed the tip of her nose, which was turning red from the cold air. "When's your first game for the Celtics?"
He took off his jacket and handed it to her, resisting the urge to jump up and down for joy when she didn't refuse to accept it. "Not for another week or so. You know, loads of legal work, paperwork to complete."
"Boston's pretty hyped up about your transfer here."
"That's all thanks to our PR rep," he grinned.
"Jake," they both said in unison, laughing.
They sat there, talking a lot more than they did the previous day. The iciness between the both of them thawed slowly, and suddenly, they both felt like they were back in high school again, before they both became more than just friends.
---
Again, the four of them walked back to Haley's place first, the adults silent, listening to the chatter of the two hyper children.
"-And then there's Aunt Peyton, daddy's girlfriend, and Aunt Haley, of course," Jenny said gaily. "And Aunt Mel, who comes to visit, sometimes. Ooh, and now there's Uncle Lucas and Aunt Brooke," she explained excitedly to Mike as she ticked them off her fingers, one by one. "They're all my daddy's high school friends. You're my daddy's high school friend too, aren't you, Uncle Nathan?"
"I sure am," he reached down and ruffled her hair fondly.
Mike smiled, a little wistfully. "Wow, that's so many people."
"Yeah, it is," Jenny said, matter-of-factly. "And I love them all."
"And we all love you too, you little brat," Haley joked with her.
"I only have daddy," Mike said softly, suddenly. "No one else. Grandma and Granddad are too busy for me."
Nathan immediately looked at his son. "Grandma and Granddad love you too, sweetheart."
Mike shook his head, his eyes threatening to water over. "I don't think my mom loves me."
Haley exchanged a glance with Nathan, her concern showing.
Jenny reached over and gave Mike a sudden hug, her comprehension of the situation astounding for a six-year-old. "It's okay, Mike," she said softly. "I don't think my mom loves me either. She doesn't come to see me at all. And daddy doesn't like to talk about her, so I don't either, because I think it makes him angry."
Haley moved closer to Jenny, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, not knowing exactly what to say. "Both your daddies love both of you very much, and that's all that matters," she said, to both the children.
"It's okay, really, Aunt Haley. I've got Aunt Peyton, she's almost like my mommy," she said knowingly. "I love her like I would love my mommy. And I have you too, Aunt Haley." When Mike still didn't look convinced, Jenny continued. "It's okay, Mike. Aunt Haley loves you too, doesn't she?"
Haley nodded. "Of course I do, Mike," she said firmly, confidently.
"If she doesn't?" Jenny whispered conspirationally. "I'll make her."
That finally brought a laugh to Mike, and both Nathan and Haley breathed a sigh of relief, both of them looking at each other, happy to have Jenny there to convince Mike.
Jenny leaned down, tying up one of her undone shoelaces. At the same time, Mike chose to reach over, and slip his other little hand into Haley's, pulling her closer towards him and his father. Nathan looked at her, and she smiled back.
To anyone walking past them at the moment, they looked like a happy family.
---
Dan hit the steering wheel angrily with the palm of his hand, not wincing at the pain which spread from his palm right up to his elbow. He could see them clearly across the street where he was parked. And he saw what everyone else saw too. A happy family. And he was anything but happy.
---
Lucas threw all of Brooke's shopping bags into the chair next to him and gestured for her to sit down. She sat down huffily and blew at her bangs in exasperation, her expression suddenly serious.
"Okay, I want some answers, Brooke, please," Lucas' expression softened, unlike the playful one he had on.
Brooke looked at him, startled by the sudden change. His eyes were intense, his face affectionate, his voice tender, and something inside of her just shattered.
"Don't look at me that way, Lucas, please," she wrenched her eyes away from his, her heart beating faster.
"In what way, Brooke?"
"Like what you're doing now," her voice cracked, a sign of tears. "Like how you did before I left for California before senior year."
He reached out and put a finger under her chin, lifting it gently. "Why shouldn't I, Brooke?"
"Because it makes me fall for you all over again, Lucas!" she said, her voice frantically rising a pitch. "Because I think I fell in love with you," she blurted out.
His mouth opened slightly, in shock. He'd never heard her say those words to him, not while they were dating, not before she left, never. "Then why didn't you ever come back? I waited for you the whole of senior year," he said gently.
Brooke paused, tears welling up in her eyes. This was it. "I was afraid, Lucas."
Lucas moved closer to her, putting an arm around her. "Of me?"
"I left Tree Hill and all I saw was broken love. Nathan and Haley, Dan and Deb, and Karen, Keith, Jules, Andy, and you. And I didn't want to let myself be vulnerable," a tear rolled down her cheek. "You said Peyton was the one, and then you said I was the one, and you and Anna, and you and Nikki, and-" she stuttered, crying. "I couldn't-"
Lucas' heart broke. "I'm sorry, Brooke."
She looked up at him through tear-stained eyes. "And the worse thing, even through everything I can't stop loves you. So, I told myself that if you would come and look for me, everything would be okay, but you never did."
"I'm sorry, Brooke," he repeated himself. "I guess I was angry," he stared at her, his eyes filled with love as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I was angry that I poured my heart out to you that day before you left, and then you just never came back. I thought you took me for a fool."
More tears rolled down Brooke's face. "I didn't, Lucas."
"I know, I know," he soothed her, taking her in his arms, hugging her tightly. "I'm sorry, Brooke." He pulled her closer to him, and leaned his head on top of hers. "I love you."
---
"Hey, Peyton?" Haley called out, her voice ringing throughout the apartment.
Peyton appeared at her doorway, her curls looking messier than ever. "Yeah?"
"Hey," Haley said, trying to sound nonchalant. "You look really busy, you know? Do you, like, want me to get Jenny out of your hair for a few hours? I've got the time."
Peyton's lips curved into a smile. "That would be great, Haley, thanks. Where are you gonna bring her?"
Haley paused, pretending to think. "The weather looks pretty good, maybe the park?"
"C'mon, Mike!" Nathan yelled from the driveway. "Let's go!"
A ruddy-faced Mike ran down the stairs noisily. "Daddy, but I want to watch cartoons!" he said, protesting loudly.
"No, no," Nathan said quickly. "Okay, if you go, I'll buy you an ice-cream," he said, bribing him.
Mike kept silent as he pondered the offer. "Okay, but you have to tape the cartoon for me!"
"Deal!" Nathan could barely keep the smile off his face.
---
"Hey," Nathan smiled.
Haley smiled back. "Hey, there."
They walked slowly, falling in step. Somehow, over the past two days, being with each other didn't take anymore effort. They didn't broach the topic of the past, but instead delved into the security of the present. Talking about their daily lives, their university lives, Mike, Jenny, all neutral topics.
"So, how's teaching music been?"
She giggled. "You know, I sometimes think teaching five-year-olds piano takes a little less effort than it took me to tutor you."
"Hey," Nathan protested playfully. "That is not true."
Haley laughed. "Oh, yes it is."
Nathan shook his head, laughing. "So, written any good songs lately?"
Her smile dimmed. "Nah."
He stopped in his tracks. "I don't believe that."
She sighed, away from him. "I haven't thought about writing music lately." Sure, if lately means the past five years.
"Why not?" he turned to look at her, genuinely concerned. "It was such a big part of you."
"Yeah, I realised," she laughed bitterly. "But it just hasn't been coming for me."
Nathan took a deep breath. "I know it may sound absurd, Haley, but I do know how it feels. There have been days, when I can't run straight, where I just can't play basketball. Those days, my game sucked."
"Yeah, something like that, I guess," Haley bit down on her lower lip, pausing. "You know, Peyton's opening's in two days, right?"
He nodded, looking a little confused. "Yeah, of course."
She took a deep breath, her hands fidgeting again. "Well, she asked me to fill in for her main act, who cancelled out at the last minute. And to be honest, I'm kinda chickening out right now."
"You'll be amazing up there, Haley," he smiled down at her. "You always are."
"I honestly don't know. I haven't done this in a long, long time, and I don't have any songs of my own to play, and I can't write songs anymore-"
"Just try, Haley," he looked at her, his eyes deep. "You don't know unless you try."
She stared back at him, the intensity sending a jolt through her veins. "I can't."
"Try. Please, for me?"
Her breath caught in her throat. Somehow the words felt familiar, like she'd heard them before.
"Please, Hales, try."
Her heart beat faster. He hadn't called her that in ages. Hearing it again, it made her feel like she was home. A feeling she hadn't had in too long. He was trying to understand her, and she wanted to let him. Finally, she relented. "I'll try."
A smile spread across his face. "Thank you."
---
Haley's fingers pressed down, feeling the metal of the guitar strings under her finger tips. "Try," she said softly to herself. "Try." Her fingers on her right hand strummed, as the fingers on her left hand moved up and down the fret, trying different chords, familiarising themselves again. "Try," she whispered again. She could try, just like she always had, all her life. The melody she was absent-mindedly strumming repeated itself over and over again, while the chords got more steady, more harmonious. "Try," she said one more time, as though willing herself on.
And then suddenly, the words came, and it was perfect.
---
Okay, review and let me know what you think, and I just might post the next chapter up sooner, because the next one? That's the opening of Tric. :) Loadsa stuff happening!