Hey allll! I know it's been way too long since I last updated, but I'm sure my internet problems would put you guys right to sleep, so I'm going to (finally) update this fic. This is one heck of a long chapter, and I know how you guys love long chapters, especially one that is 5227 words long. Now, this one right here, is one of my favourite chapters, and I hope I did the idea for this chapter some justice. Be sure to drop me a line, because like anyone else, I love reviews. Hee. :)
Ch. 12 – Sanctity
The sun's rays peeked into Nathan's room between the curtains, brightening up the entire room. It had been a long night, one where he'd tossed around in bed, trying his damn best to fall asleep. Haley hadn't come to the park yesterday with Jenny, and he had missed her. And so had Mike. It was a little scary to see how fast she'd fitted back into his life, with her easy laughter and genuine words. It was what had drawn him to her in the first place. All the bluster and distortion aside, she saw right through it all; she didn't give up on him, but instead she persisted. And then, he'd fell in love with her.
Suddenly, Nathan sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes as he heard the doorknob turn.
A groggy looking Taylor stumbled in, "Mornin'," she mumbled.
"Where the hell have you been?" Nathan asked, his voice disbelieving as he looked at the clock.
Taylor raised an eyebrow. "Why do you care? Am I out of the running for the year's best mother, already?"
"You were out a long time ago."
"Funny," she said sarcastically. "Where's Mike?"
"Probably making pancakes in the kitchen with Mom. Like you'd care."
She glared at him. "Of course I do. I'm not completely heartless, Nathan."
"Could have fooled me."
Taylor rolled her eyes, throwing her hands up in the air in impatience. "Fine, let's bring him out tonight then. The three of us. Maybe then he'll come and give me a hug for once."
"Oh, he will," Nathan shot back. "Once he remembers that you actually exist."
"Give me a break, Nathan, I'm trying!" her voice rose into a shout.
Nathan looked away. "Well, I can't tonight."
"Where are you going?"
"Peyton's club is opening tonight, and I'm going over with Mike for support."
Taylor flipped her hair over her shoulder. "You're bringing our five-year-old son to a club?"
"Yes, I am. And it'll be fine," Nathan said tightly, as he got out from bed, throwing a grey T-shirt over his head.
"That's crazy, Nathan! You won't bring him to a club!"
He swivelled around. "Don't act all high and mighty with me, Taylor. I know you brought Mike to bar once, and got drunk with him there," he said, his voice low and threatening. "So don't give me this shit."
"That was just once, and your parents were out, and so were you, and I couldn't find a sitter."
"So stay in with your son for once, Taylor, would it kill you?" Nathan let out a short breath. "And besides, Jake's daughter, Jenny, she'll be there as well. They can play together in the playroom behind the stage. Peyton got one constructed specially because Jenny'll be there often."
"I don't care how your little friends raise their kids, but you will not bring Mike, and that's final."
He shook his head. "No, Taylor. You're going to hell one day, and that's final." Shaking his head, he left the room, slamming the door behind him.
A minute after Nathan left, the door opened again. Dan stood there, his tongue clucking softly at Taylor.
"Go away, Dan," Taylor fell back on the bed, putting a pillow over her face.
Dan smirked. "Shouldn't you be calling me 'dad' instead?"
Taylor sat up, disgruntled. "What do you want now, 'Dad'?" she said, her tone of voice sardonic.
"Dad. I like that," he smiled, the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes creasing deeply. "So, what's your position on incest, then?"
She rolled her eyes, ignoring the little jibe. "Why are you here?"
"I see you don't like my joke, but, never mind," he paused, leering at her. "I heard you and Nathan shouting at each other again."
"Inevitable."
"I don't think you heard me the first time, Taylor. I want Nathan away from your sister. And the both of you in a row is not going to help me accomplish that. Now, you have two choices," Dan's face darkened, a far cry away from his sneering self the minute before. "You can either help me keep Nathan away, and that way, you get to keep what you have now. Or, you can choose not to help me, and let me make your life a living hell."
Taylor fell silent for a little while, her eyes resigned. "Look," she finally spoke. "You heard us, shouting. I was trying to be a good mother, but look where that ended."
Dan shook his head. "Looks like you don't really know the first thing about breaking people up, do you? You don't try to be something you're not. You don't try to be a good mother, because, obviously, you're not. You do what you do best. Be a slut," he laughed to himself, and left the room.
Taylor glared at his retreating figure in disbelief. She lifted the bedside lamp and threw it across the room in anger, missing Dan and hitting the door instead. The lamp shattered into the pieces, scattering across the floor. Her hands shook with anger, or perhaps it was fear, or a mixture of both. I can do this, she thought to herself. She blinked rapidly, trying to keep back the tears that threatened to fall at any minute. I will not cry.
-
"Come on, Jake, let's go!" Peyton yelled, rummaging through her bag as she looked for her other earring.
Jake walked out of his bedroom calmly, a sleeping Jenny in his arms. "Relax babe, it's only 10 A.M. Ten hours till your official opening."
"It's already ten? Damn, we're late, Jake! I'm the owner of the place, I have to be there early to see that everything's done and ready for tonight!" Peyton turned around, her big eyes wide. "And where in bloody hell is my other earring?"
He smiled at her. "In your right pocket."
Peyton reached into her pocket and rolled her eyes, as her fingers found the earring. "I'm only twenty-two, for God's sakes! Alzheimer isn't supposed to strike this early," she muttered sarcastically to herself.
Jake set Jenny down on the couch, and reached for Peyton's hands. "You'll do great, Peyton, and everything will go smoothly." He leaned in to plant a kiss on her forehead. "And if it doesn't, I got your back," he said in his slow charming drawl, grinning. "You know that."
Peyton's irritation thawed into calm, as she rested her palms flat on Jake's chest. "How come you always know what to say?" she said, settling in the safe embrace of his arms.
"It's a gift," he flirted. "And besides, we're not late. In fact," he looked at his watch. "We've got enough time for a quickie before we need to leave."
Peyton's jaw dropped, before she burst out into laughter. "You horny insatiable perv!" she exclaimed incredulously, swatting at him playfully as he laughed.
"Yeah, but I'm Peyton Sawyer's horny insatiable perv," he grinned cheekily, laughing under his breath as he kissed her gently on her lips.
"Wouldn't have it any other way," Peyton said softly, smiling, before their lips touched.
-
Nathan walked out of the bathroom, quickly pulling on his jeans before it got too cold. Topless, he walked across his room to the dresser. He studied his reflection in the mirror, frowning.
"Well, well, what do we have here?" Taylor stood behind him, her eyes meeting his in the mirror. It was time to make up for her little slip-up this morning. She steeled herself, No more being weak.
Nathan ignored her, and ran his fingers through his short hair as he looked straight ahead into the mirror.
"Playing dress up, are we?" she said softly in her husky voice.
Nathan immediately felt his shoulders tense up at the sound of her voice. Back then when he had just been a young and naïve junior, and she'd seduced him at that party, taking his first time, he remembered thinking how sexy her voice was then. How stupid he'd been. Now, he wished he would never have to hear it again. "It'd be nice to have some privacy in my own room, Taylor," he said through clenched teeth, trying to keep his calm.
"But it's my room, too, Nathan," Taylor said, moving closer to him, laying a cold hand on his shoulder as her eyes travelled appreciatively up and down his lean, muscular frame.
He bit down on his lower lip, praying that he wouldn't explode, trying not to brush her hand off him. He wanted to try to be civil to Taylor, for once, or at least today. He had been in a good mood recently, better than he'd ever been in these five years. "Yeah, but you're never in here anyway, are you?"
She pouted flirtatiously. "Oh, I'm sorry, baby. Have you been lonely in here at night? Let me make it up to you for our little argument just now."
Nathan took a deep breath, and fidgeted. "Taylor, just- "
Taylor walked around to face him, and ran her hand down his chest, raking her fingernails lightly against his skin. Her hand rested on the waistband of his jeans as she looked up at him suggestively. "It's been awhile, Nathan. Remember how it used to be? I made all your fantasies come true, Nathan." She paused, licking her lips. "And I still can."
"Fuck off, Taylor," Nathan said tiredly, moving away. "That doesn't work anymore. Maybe it did back in the day, but I see right through you now."
"Come on, I could make it worth your while, Nathan," Taylor said, her tone evolving from one of sex to one that sounded pleading. "I promise."
He shook his head, looking away. "I'm not interested, Taylor," he said, visibly running out of patience.
Taylor continued, not seeming to give up. "Just this once, Nathan, you won't regret it," her hands moved to unbuckle his jeans.
Nathan moved away, his hand brushing hers away. "God dammit, Taylor, I said no!" he raised his voice, staring at her angrily. "I don't want you."
She folded her arms across her chest. "What, I don't turn you on anymore now?"
"No, you don't," Nathan retorted bluntly. "Happy now?" He turned to go.
"What does my prude virginal sister give you that I can't, Nathan?" Taylor asked, her voice bitter. "Anything she can do, I can do better, can't I?"
Nathan stopped in his tracks, and turned to look at her. That did it. He was sick and tired of all this, of everything that went on in his family. "Don't ever talk about her that way, again," his voice deepened dangerously. "Or I'll kick you out of this house."
"You wouldn't, Nathan. You wouldn't throw the mother of your son out."
He laughed under his breath. "Don't dare me, Taylor. You don't know me as well as you think you do." And with that, he walked out of the room.
-
Music blared from the speakers, bodies moved on the dance floor; and the deep, dark purple and black walls were adorned with Peyton's framed sketches. Big love seats and couches were positioned at corners of the club, in different shades of purple. The bar top was made out of glass, and the chairs at the bar were a clear, translucent shade. The club had Peyton's modern chic touch to it, and already, the people who had turned out for the grand opening were enjoying themselves on the dance floor.
"Oh my god!" Brooke exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear as she hugged Peyton. "This is awesome, P. Sawyer! Look at the turn-out!"
Peyton smiled as her eyes followed Brooke's gaze. "Yeah, it is pretty awesome, huh?" she said, laughing.
"Congratulations, Peyton," Lucas leaned in, giving her a tight squeeze. "Tric Boston. Not bad."
"Thank you," she said in response, beaming proudly, as Jake came up, sliding an arm around her waist and kissed her on the cheek.
Mel came to join the four of them. "Perhaps now we'll actually have some decent music in Boston," she said dryly.
"Of course it'll be decent. Haley's your main act, isn't she?" The five of them turned around to face the voice, one which they all only knew too well.
Peyton folded her arms across her chest and frowned. "What are you doing here, Chris? I don't remember sending you a personalised invite," she said sarcastically.
"Yeah, take a hike, poser," Brooke added, sounding scarily like she did back in high school as head cheerleader.
Chris raised his brows. "Nice place, Blondie," he smirked, looking around. "Sincerely," he added, and clutched his heart. "From the bottom of my heart."
Jake glared at him. "Do us all a favour, Chris, and don't cause us any trouble on our opening day, will ya?" he said, his voice intimidating as Lucas nodded in agreement. "Do that, and I'll buy you a round of drinks at the bar, all right?"
"Jake, no!" Peyton said, frowning. "Let me handle this," she said. She turned back to face Chris. "Get lost, Chris. You weren't invited."
Chris grinned. "Oh, but there's where you're wrong, Blondie. I was," he paused dramatically. "I'm with her," he gestured to Mel.
Four heads immediately swivelled to look at Mel incredulously. "What?"
Mel held up both her hands in surrender. "Okay, yeah, he is."
Peyton stared at Mel for a moment, as though she had lost her mind, and then back at Chris, and then back at Mel again. Finally, she pulled Mel away from the group, Brooke following the both of them, leaving Lucas and Jake to stare Chris down.
"Mel, have you lost your mind?" Peyton asked, disbelieving.
"I know this is mad, but- "
"That's," Peyton paused to point at Chris. "That's Chris Keller."
"Yeah, that much is obvious- " Mel retorted sarcastically.
Brooke frowned. "No, I don't think you heard her right. That's. Chris. Keller," she repeated, her eyes big.
"Guys," Mel said in exasperation. "I know very well who he is, okay? It's just- oh God, it's just that I kinda made him promise to stay away from Haley."
Peyton raised an eyebrow. "There's no way he'd do that."
"That guy's scum, Mel," Brooke said. "You don't know him like we do."
"I don't know, but I- well- sort of- I know it's stupid- but I kinda promised him a date if he would do that," Mel said, sheepishly looking at them both.
"WHAT!"
"And- " Mel quickly continued before the both of them could cut her off again. "I thought this would be the best place since it's only a one-time thing, and it'll be really noisy here, and I don't have to hear his voice, and since I'm helping you out with the drinks tonight, he won't really get a chance to come near me, and I wouldn't have to hear his irritating voice," she finally finished, taking a big breath of air. "Was that really stupid?"
"Yeah."
"Uh-huh."
"Okay, point taken," Mel hung her head. "Sorry, Peyton."
Peyton sighed. "You meant well. Just, you know, keep him away from me, and I'll be fine."
"And be careful, seriously." Brooke leaned over to pat Mel on the shoulder. "Don't trust him."
Mel sighed. "Okay. It can't be that bad, right? It's only for tonight."
"Oh, you have no idea."
-
Haley paced back and forth backstage, wringing her hands as she walked. "Oh my God," she muttered to herself. "How did I get myself into this?"
She could hear the noise from back stage, listening to the amount of people who had turned out today, and she felt scared. She had written a song, finally, but what if it wasn't good enough? No one had heard it, besides herself. What if they hated it? What if it was utter crap? She hadn't written a song in ages. What if it had been too long, so long that she had forgotten what was good and what was bad? "Dammit," she cursed under her breath.
"Hey," Nathan walked in. "The door was open, so I just- " he gestured at the entrance.
"It's okay," Haley smiled weakly, feeling a little queasy to her stomach.
"We missed you at the park yesterday," Nathan smiled warmly.
She nodded. "Yeah, I didn't bring Jenny yesterday. I was, uh, putting up the finishing touches on my song."
"So, you did it, huh?" he said, the question sounding more like a statement to her.
Haley looked down. "Yeah, I did. Thanks. I don't think I would have gotten the nerve to sit down and do it, if you hadn't told me to try."
"Yes, you would have. Don't give me so much credit, Hales." He looked around, into her guitar case. In it lay her wedding ring and the plastic bracelet he had given her. His breath caught in his throat. She kept them, he thought.
She shrugged, looking around her. "I'm really on the verge of chickening out right now, you know," she laughed nervously, her fingers fiddling.
"You've done this before, Haley," Nathan stepped closer to her. "And I'll be there, watching you."
"Yeah," she said softly. "That's part of the problem, Nathan. There are so many people out there, and they're all going to be watching me, and that scares me. I know, I know it's not the first time I've done this, but it's different now."
"How is it different?"
"I don't know if the song's any good." She frowned, biting down on her lip, not knowing quite what to say. "I don't want to go out there, and see everyone, and get nervous and mess up, Nathan," she blurted out. "Performing like this, it's all I ever wanted to do. I could do it back then, but I don't know if I can still."
"That's not true, Haley- " Nathan started, his heart breaking.
She shook her head, continuing. "And you know, if it's all I could do then, then I don't want to mess it up now. I don't want to lose it."
Nathan walked closer to her, and surprising her, and even himself, his hand reached for her smaller one. He squeezed it gently. "You won't lose it, Hales, trust me. Just go out there, and try. Try."
-
Peyton walked on stage amidst loud cheers and catcalls from the stage. She held up both her hands, laughing, until the cheers subsided. "Are you having fun tonight, guys?"
The loud cheers came back, with people yelling their agreement, their approval.
"Awesome," Peyton grinned. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear." She paused, motioning to Jake who was behind the music and lights panel. "Next up, we have a singer who lives right here in Boston. She was one of my very first singers, whom I got for the Tric in Tree Hill, North Carolina; so she's authentic Tric, all right?" Peyton said, laughing to the wolf whistles in the audience. "She's got an amazing voice, and she plays a killer guitar, plus, she writes her own songs. Now, I got a special request from the audience," she nodded at Nathan, smiling. "To turn the lights off, and let you listen to just her voice. Close your eyes, and let her voice blow you away."
The house lights went off and immediately, a murmur swept through the crowd. "So, put your hands together, and give it up, for Haley James-Scott!"
Haley walked out into the dark, feeling around for the mic stand. She sat down on the stool, propped her guitar up on her knee. Her heart beat wildly, as she looked out into the dark. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to start as her fingers found the chord they were looking for. Finally, she took a deep breath and started strumming, her voice ringing clearly into the dark.
All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
But the more I grow
The less I know
Her voice got stronger, and her chords grew surer as she sang on, losing herself in her words, her melody, her music. As she went on, sounding more confident, Jake turned the lights on, gradually.
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see
The less I grow
The fewer the seeds
The more I sow
Haley felt more assured, more certain of herself once she had started singing the words she had so painfully written. Yes, she had lived many lives, the peaceful one where she had been Haley James, the topsy-turvy one she'd had when Nathan had walked into her life, the married one when she had became Haley James-Scott, the painful one when she had been hurt, and the one now. But were they? Or were they all just one? She wasn't any one of them, she was just Haley, herself was just exactly who she was. Finally, she understood that; the fewer the seeds, the more she sowed.
And I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Her mind travelled back to their junior year. Nathan coming to the tutoring centre, asking her for her help, wanting her to help him. Standing there, when she went to his house to look for him, agreeing to tutor him. When he'd went to the café to look for her, after the party at his house, looking for forgiveness. Again, outside the café, waiting for her, asking her to go on the date that Brooke had planned for them both. She'd tried. All of those times, she'd tried.
And I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
She remembered, as clear as yesterday. She remembered him standing outside her house, throwing pebbles at her parent's bedroom, waiting for her. He had apologised, and he had looked at her so deeply that he had scared her. And then he had told her that all he wanted to be was to be someone who was good enough to be seen with her. And she had tried, to help him be who he wanted to be.
I wish I hadn't seen
All of the realness
And all the real people
Are really not real at all
The more I learn
The more I learn
The more I cry
The more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed
For me
Her heart ached. The words of this song had been hard to get out, but it was something she had to do, she had to get it out of her system. The betrayal by a loved one, the hurt, the pain, she had to get them all out somehow.
And I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
He'd stood there, at her door that night after he'd collapsed, looking more vulnerable and more scared than she'd ever seen him. He'd reached out for her, opened up to her, and she'd let him in. He had needed her, and she had tried to fight away his doubts for him. She remembered him asking her to go to dinner with his family with him for support, and she had. Him looking at her, wanting her to sing for him. Him giving her his hand, asking her with his eyes to let him bring her to the hospital to see Lucas when she couldn't do it herself.
And I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
And all I can do is try
And then, he'd stood there, looking confused and angry all at the same time, and she had walked over to him, trying her best. She had told him that she had given him her heart, and if that wasn't enough for him, she wasn't enough for him. And then, he'd come to her, standing in the rain, and told her that he loved her.
Try, try, try
She remembered his face, illuminated by the sunlight against the crashing of the waves as he read his vows when they got married, when they sealed their union of faith, as one.
The lights turned up to their full force, nearly blinding her, but she kept on singing. It was something that she'd had to do, not for Nathan, not for anyone, but for herself. It was her coming out again. Her voice grew louder and soared with the melody as she played on.
All of the moments that already passed
We try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be, we never will be
And that's wonderful
And that's life
This is you, baby
This is me, baby
We are, we are
We are, we are
We are, we are
Free in our love
We are free in love
She closed her eyes, the last vision of Nathan in her head. Standing there in the park, silently looking into her eyes, asking her to try.
Try..
Haley played her last chord and sang her last word; she took a deep breath, and looked into the audience. The crowd erupted into applause and cheers, deafening her, louder than any cheers she'd ever heard before. It all didn't really matter, because in the end she tried, and that was what made her happy.
-
"Haley," Nathan called from behind her, jogging to reach her. "You did amazing!"
She smiled, her face radiant. "Thank you. And, Nathan, thank you, for helping me. It was what I needed."
"You're welcome," he nodded. "Glad it helped."
"It did, more than you'll ever know. I nearly bolted back there," she laughed a little at her own fear.
"Well, the song was really beautiful," he said softly. "And pure."
Haley looked down at her drink. "It was one of the most difficult songs to write."
"I thought so."
She looked up at him again. "But in the end, I'm glad I wrote it. Song writing was always my sort of therapy," she said, smiling. "I finally did it."
"And I'm very proud of you," he said, his eyes intense. He held out a hand to her. "Dance with me?"
She bit down on her lower lip, and finally caved in. She put her hand in his, and he led her slowly onto the dance floor.
-
"Is this your idea of a good date?" Chris asked, his fingers drumming against the top of the bar impatiently.
"We got good music," Mel shrugged. "Shouldn't that be enough for you?"
"That and a hot chick, usually."
"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint." Mel ran a finger around the rim of her wine glass.
He smirked. "You know, this possibly is one of the worst dates I've ever had in my life?"
That got her attention. She looked up, glaring at him. "Well, it wasn't me who forced the date on you, was it? It was quite the contrary, thanks."
Chris grinned. "Now, there's the Mel that got my attention. The feisty one. Why so down, cutie pie?"
Her glare got darker. "Don't call me that again."
He ignored her, and looked out on the dance floor. Couples were intertwined, their own little separate worlds containing only two people. Lucas and Brooke, Peyton and Jake, and Nathan and Haley were out there. "Looks like the people of Tree Hill have gotten something right, finally," he said smugly. "How bout you, Mel?"
She took one glance at the dance floor and looked away. "I'm not the dating type."
"Career-minded, huh? I could deal with that," he lifted his glass of beer to her.
Mel raised an eyebrow. "That, and also the fact that I'm not ready to settle down."
"But why not?" he asked, leaning in closer to look straight in her eyes.
The sudden piercing stare of his icy blue eyes startled her and she moved away, drawing back. "Because it's not me."
He looked at her for awhile, as though processing her words and looked around. "Come on," he grabbed her hand. "We're going to dance."
Mel's jaw dropped. "No, we're not," she exclaimed in disbelief, trying to yank her hand away from his firm grip.
"Don't make a scene," Chris whispered into her ear as they neared the dance floor. "And besides, Chris Keller dances just as well as he sings."
Mel's eyes shot daggers at him. "All right, but just keep your face at least five inches away from mine, or else!" she hissed at him
He grinned. "Deal. Good girl," he said, and he pulled her closer to him, putting his arms around her waist, singing softly to the music.
Mel didn't know why, but a sudden shiver went up and down her spine, and her heart started to beat faster. His voice was soft, and husky and she felt like she was melting. He smiled down at her, and she looked away. God dammit. This is not happening.
-
Nathan's arms tightened around Haley as the song finished and another slower one started. She smiled, shyly looking away as she moved closer to him. It had been so long since she'd actually been around another guy, that she felt a little awkward, like she didn't know what to do, or what to say.
Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
Haley's breath caught in her throat as she heard the opening few bars of the song. They'd both always listened to this song, thinking just how perfect the lyrics were for the way they had started out. She remembered always teasing Nathan about how Switchfoot was the quietest band he listened to amongst all his hip-hop and rap music.
Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Between who you are and you could be
Between how it is and how it should be
As though reading our mind, he leaned down and whispered into her ear. "It's our song," he said, a hint of a smile in his voice.
She smiled back at him, a warm smile, and turned to look away again, her heart beating faster and faster as the moments passed.
I dare you to move…
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself off of the floor
"Thank you," Nathan suddenly said.
Haley looked up at him, her eyebrows slightly raised. "For what?"
"For, you know, trying. All this while, Hales, all this time. Thank you," he said slowly, surely, simply.
She smiled again, her heart soaring. "You're welcome."
"I just needed to tell you that."
She nodded, and slowly she rested her head on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. It was a daring move, one she wasn't sure if she should have done, but one that she wanted to do, because it felt so right, and so wrong at the same time. All her resolve, all her sense just flew out the window when she was with him.
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Slowly, they moved in unison with the music, her head lying on his chest, his chin resting on her head, just like they were made for each other.
Where are you gonna go?
Salvation is here
-
Phew. I sure hope you liked that!