Disclaimer- Harry Potter belongs to J.K.R.
No More Miss Nice Girl
Chapter 19
Intoxicating. She coursed hotly through his veins. She consumed his thoughts every second of every minute. Her scent, he remembered the vanilla and spicy smell that was all her like she was standing millimeters away from him. Her taste, he could still taste the mixture of chocolate and something else sweet that was her own, and the taste of blood that had mingled in her mouth that belonged to both him and her; a thrilling concoction. The feel of her beneath his rough calloused hands, so soft and firm at the same time, so smooth. Her eyes such a pure bold flaming ice cavern of emeralds, spectacular to say the least. Her voice, so soft and seductive, so frighteningly macabre was her laugh. Her whole demeanor. Like something was waiting under the surface waiting to be unleashed to cause pain, get revenge.
So fucking intoxicating; he felt himself drowning just by the thought of her.
She reeked of violence and anger now. She thrived on pain. Because that was all she used to know? Because of them? Had they really helped screw such a sweet levelheaded person up so much? Help transform said person into a vindictive and malicious bitch? Was she the way she was because of all the torment and cruelty? Were they to take the whole blame?
James surly hoped not.
He hadn't seen her since the day before. It was as if she was purposely avoiding him. Was she? Maybe, he couldn't help but conclude. He wished she wouldn't though. Now more then ever, he wanted to dominate her. He wanted to have her withering underneath him, begging him to bring her over the edge. Have her crying out his name as he thrust into her. He wanted her for himself, and no one else. He wanted to be able to take her whenever he wanted. He desperately wanted her to be his. To do all the naughty things running through his mind to her that would make proper Christians and others gasp. He wanted to mark her, as she had him.
The thought made him grow instantly hard.
Her mark stood out sharply against his skin. Eyebrows had rose when others had saw it (thank God they hadn't saw his stomach) and whispering voices could be heard whenever he walked by. His friends, especially Sirius, had just smirked and hadn't asked questions. If James wanted to tell them, he would. He remembered Arabella's disgusted look; he had merely smirked at her. He remembered Crystal's posse collective gasps when they first saw it, their eyes wide. He remembered Crystals angry glare and heated voice. He had merely told her to shut up and fuck off. He hadn't wanted to deal with her nagging ranting voice. She had listened and stormed off. Later he glimpsed Kristi giving him a guarded look before slipping away somewhere. Whatever.
He turned the water on cold, to try and dissipate his erection.
He knew Remus secretly deep down was very much against what he was doing. True Remus never voiced such thoughts, but James knew. He was best friends with him after all, since first year. He knew Remus and his character pretty well. Knew deep down that Remus thought they had put the redhead through enough. Maybe he was right. James was beyond caring though. Not now that he had had a small taste of her. Not now that he was drowning in her. Not now when he was so thoroughly intoxicated by her. Remus wouldn't understand that though. He wouldn't understand the rawness of his want, his need, to have her. The raw compelling need to get lost in her dangerous and tormented world… in her.
Maybe he was just as crazy, just as much of a masochist as she was.
She was so different. Not like all the other women he knew, who had come and gone and refused to leave his life. So very different from Crystal. Crystal was beautiful, no denying that with her dark locks and pale sea green/blue eyes. Tall slim body, a great fuck, and undeniably a whore. So predictable with no zesty flare, a bore, and a perfectionist bitch that grated James nerves. Never had Crystal enthralled and captured James in her web; Lily had. So unlike the other girls he knew who only cared about shopping and shallow things that didn't matter in the long run. Where Crystal and all the other ladies in his life were fake superficial bitches, Lily was real and saw the importance of things even if she was an ice queen from hell.
He could still feel her scorching touch setting fire throughout his being despite the freezing water.
It had been so long since he had felt a true passion. His world was dull. Shades of gray. It had long ago lost its glamour, its thrill. It was the same every day. So fucking scheduled, it was a routine. Wake up, put on a façade that fooled even the closest to him, play shop with his bitch of a girlfriend and his friends, end the day fucking either Crystal or some other girl. Either one of Crystal's friends or just a random girl. It always played out like that, everyday. It was a routine he knew well. A routine he loathed. His flame for life was slowly extinguishing. Had been since third year. Then she came. A vibrant angry flame beating against his gray walls.
Passionate fire surged through him again, the cold water doing nothing to dampen it.
In a way he hated her for taking him so suddenly. Causing him to feel something, anything, outside of his sterile gray world. Wrap herself around him, causing him to want desperately to be engulfed and consumed whole by her pulsating macabre universe. She was an enigma to him. She intrigued him. She made him want. She made his pulse hammer wildly against his flesh. His blood pump rapidly through his veins. She caused him to involuntarily react to her. He was drowning because of her, in her, and yet he didn't want to stop.
As his want intensified his fist curled, his head hanging down to his chest so the water could run down.
She had been there less than a week. Had been around him less than a week. In less than a weeks time she had trapped him, made himself become infatuated with her. An obsession. His obsession. She was quickly, no had already become, his obsession. A healthy or unhealthy obsession? He didn't know. He didn't care. No other person had ever inflicted such feelings upon him. Had invaded his dreams and thoughts in such a short span of time. She was everywhere to him. Her face, her voice, her smell, everything about her haunted him. Day and night. Whenever she wasn't around, she was still there. She never left him. And when she was physically there, it drove him crazy. She drove him crazy.
He turned the knob so the water would run colder, hoping that would relieve his burning want for her at the moment.
God how he craved her. Was this what going insane felt like? If so, he wished it to never end. Was she causing him to lose his sanity? To lose his hard won control. She invoked things in him he never knew possible. His thoughts were sinful. So very sinful. Maybe that was what she was, a beautiful and dark sin. She caused him to act on impulses. Never before would he have. She caused such primal feelings, dark primal feelings, to stir deep within him. God how he wanted to act on those said feelings. She would be his undoing. His bleak, desolate world was slowly unraveling. All because of her. He couldn't stop it. Did he even want to?
The door to the dorm opened, causing him to turn his head just a fraction.
Crystal, Ginger, Lisa, Victoria, and the list went on. None of them compared to Lily. None had ever made him dance on the edge of losing control. None had made him want to jump off the same edge and go soaring. Because that was what he wanted to do. Lily was something wild and untamable. Had she always been? It didn't matter; she was now. Her world was composed of swirling masses of colors, both dark and energetic. How he wanted to get caught up in that and be lost. Touching her made him feel alive. Touching her made him want to recoil, die inside. A dangerous but highly exhilarating mixture he was becoming addicted to. Perhaps had already become addicted to.
He turned the water off.
He would have her. She would be his. He didn't want to tame her, just dominate her. A contradiction and oxymoron all by itself. He didn't want to share her with anyone, with anything. He wanted her for himself, all for himself. He realized how selfish he was. He didn't care though. She was exotic. He wanted her. No, it was more than just want. He needed her. What had started off as a simple game of want had now morphed into an extreme necessity. A necessity he would do anything to have. A necessity he would have.
A/N- Sorry for the wait. Blame it on school. But on a better note because of my 'devotion' to it I have a 4.0 GPA. I know it doesn't seem like I would, but I do. I was ecstatic. Anyways that's not even near important. Review. They motivate me. So here's a small look inside James head. Mm… Oh and one more thing, I bumped up the rating because there will be more sexual scenes and things. Consider that your warning. Anyways thanks for all the awesome reviews.
ZombieGurl98
Always & Forever