Disclaimer- Harry Potter belongs to J.K.R. I only own the story/plot and all original characters presented throughout the duration of this fic.

A/N- Nope, it isn't a joke. It's actually another chapter…

No More Miss Nice Girl

Chapter 23

/Running.

She was running. Running fast. Her short hair was blowing behind her, tangled from the wind. Branches whipped at her, lashing out at her. She barely felt them, though, barely felt as a thin tree branch smacked her across the face, creating a cut, blood swelling up from it. Ignored the small rocks and other particles on the forest floor as they stabbed and cut into her small bare feet. Ignored, blocked everything out her mind except the primal instinct of survival and fear coursing through her, egging her, pushing her to continue running. Not allowing her exhausted body to stop even as it cried out in protest and pain. For to stop was to… was to what? What was she running from? What was shadowing her footsteps? What was the cause of such deep pulsating fear?

She didn't know. Only knew that she couldn't stop, had to keep going. She didn't know what horrible fate awaited her if she did dare stop, but her fear overwhelmed her and didn't allow her to stop. She pushed on, forcing herself to run faster. She could feel whatever presence was lurking behind her. Stalking her like she was prey. And she was. She was prey, and whatever was behind her in the shadows was the predator. A predator she feared would devour her mind, body, and soul if she stopped. Break her; make her into some puppet to be played with. Take the sparkle out of her eyes and hang her up until it was time to play with her again… maybe even kill her. But she wouldn't allow that to happen. Couldn't. With newfound determination and energy, she forced herself to quicken her pace.

Before she knew what had happened, her foot slipped. She stumbled, tumbling over and down the downward incline that had suddenly materialized out of nowhere, or perhaps it had always been there and it had just been too dark to see it, thus making her run blindly toward it. She didn't know, only knew pain as the wind was knocked out her, her fall and tumbling broken by a large boulder. Laying face down, her heavy breathing the only sound breaking the still night silence hanging over the forest, she didn't dare move. Couldn't move, her fear paralyzed her. Had her pursuer heard her noisy fall, was he close by and about to close in on her? She didn't know, pressed herself closer to the forest floor, ignored the twigs stabbing her stomach through her thin cotton top.

She strained her hearing; listened intently to any hint that might indicate where or how close her purser was to her. She heard nothing, however, except her own loud, heavy breathing. Crickets weren't even playing their song, nothing was. It was dead silence, dead stillness. She shivered, cold spreading throughout her body. Where was he… it… whatever it was that was chasing her? She knew, though, that whatever it was was out there. Out there and waiting. Waiting for her to move. Waiting for the perfect time to move in and make his move. A move that would either be her ultimate demise, or her breaking point. She shivered again, intense fear coiling around her body and making her nauseous.

"Lily."

She jumped, looked around wildly, cursed herself afterwards.

"Lily."

Who was it that was saying her name? Was it her purser? How did he- or it- know her name? But wait… that voice… it sounded so familiar.

"Lily."

So very, very, very familiar. Who…

"Lily."

Her emerald eyes opened. She knew who the owner was now. She would know that voice anywhere. Her breathing quickened. But it couldn't be, could it? No, no, no. He was dead. She had been to his funeral. Had saw his pale, lifeless corpse laying in his coffin. No… he was dead. She knew because it had been her fault he had died. It had been her that had killed him. She couldn't help but to tremble, her lip quivering and tears springing into her eyes, threatening to spill down her alabaster white cheeks.

"No…" It was a weak whisper, shaky and broken.

"Lily."

She watched with apprehension, trepidation a dominating emotion swirling with her, as a shimmering apparition emerged from the shadows, slowly drawing closer to her with each step it took. She shrunk into herself, her face contorting with anguish and fear, her trembles shaking her body violently; a tear slid down her cheek. No, no, no it couldn't be. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't. By all things rational and logical this just wasn't possible. But then again, when had anything in her life ever been rational and logical. She was a witch for Christ sakes. How logical was that? But this… this was just impossible. It couldn't be. The dead couldn't come back, and she knew he wasn't a ghost. He would have made himself known a long time ago if he had chosen to become a ghost.

"No…"

"You have to get up, Lily," he said, staring down at her with blue-green eyes that were so familiar to her that it made her ache inside.

"You're- you're dead, though. This isn't possible," she shakily exclaimed.

"Anything's possible, Lily," he told her smoothly, squatting down beside of her and extending his hand out to her. "But you have to move, Lily, you can't stay here."

"Why not?"

He glanced around at the gnarled forest and said, "Because there isn't anything but death and pain here, Lily. Anger and resentment."

"But-"

He covered her mouth with his hand, a look of alarm and fear suddenly contorting his countenance. "You have to move now, Lily. He's coming. Go, quickly, and don't look back."

Lily shook her head, confusion marring her pretty face. What was he talking about? Who was coming? Was she in danger? What was she in danger from? Nothing made sense here. All it did was confuse her. Why was she in danger? Why did she have to leave? He was here. Why did she have to leave him? Why couldn't she stay here with him, make it be like it was before? Before any more questions could surface in her head, though, he had grabbed her hand and pulled her up. The sudden act so unexpected, she stumbled. Was righted by him. Before she could question him, he was running, pulling her along behind him by the hand. She could do little else but follow him. If she stopped, he would only drag her after him because he was too strong for her to break out of his grasp.

She stumbled quite a bit, always was righted by him without him slowing his pace. He wouldn't let her fall she knew that. He wouldn't let any harm befall her. He would protect her, was her protector, had always been. Now wasn't any different. She trusted him more than anyone or thing, even more than Kristi. All her faith, he held within his ghostly, but oddly enough, corporal grasp. Whatever was chasing after them, he wouldn't let them get her. And with that note, it was then she became aware of the thundering footsteps behind them. Fear gripped her; she sped up, making sure not to stumble as much. For each stumble lost them precious moments, and allowed whatever hunted them to catch up if only a little bit.

He suddenly stopped. She skidded to a halt so as not to run into him. They had come upon a cliff. She cursed, looked behind her anxiously. What now? They couldn't go forward. And downward… she shivered. There was nothing there but a straight fall into lacquered black, placid water. There wasn't a ripple on it, and it was so opaque… blacker then the darkest of nights… reminded her so much of a smooth sheet of glass… She shivered again, looked behind her as the footsteps grew closer, an expression of fear residing on her face and clouding her eyes. He had an expression much like hers, though anxiety seemed to be a greater emotion.

"What now?" she asked.

"Jump," he ordered.

She looked back at him as if he was crazy. Jump? Into the water? Yup, definitely crazy. "But-"

"Lily, you have too!"

"Max…" Her voice broke, a tear trailed down her cheek accompanied rapidly by more. "I don't wanna go."

A sad, regretful look crossed his face and clouded his eyes. He touched her cheek and made her look up at him. She had forgotten how tall he was, taller then James Potter even. "Oh, Lily."

"It's so hard there, and ever since you left…" she trailed off. "I can't do it alone, Max. I miss you so much." She was sobbing now, not even caring that her nose was running or her eyes were puffy and red.

He hugged her, letting her bury her face in his chest. "You have to survive, Lily. You're strong, you can make it."

She shook her head vehemently, rising her head a little so she could look up at him. "No I can't. I'm not strong, Max. Everything is so hard, and cold. Don't make me go back. I don't want to lose you again, Max," she cried.

"You'll never lose me, Lily. I'll always be there."

Lily shook her head slowly, closed her eyes and sobbed. "I'm so tired of being alone, Max. I can't do it anymore. I can't."

He gathered her in his arms, kissed the top of her head. "It's okay, Lily."

She shook her head, whispered hoarsely, "I'm so afraid, Max."

"You won't be afraid for long, Lily. Won't be alone for long… I promise."

She looked at him through her tears, confused by his statement. What did he mean? Did he mean he was coming with her? No, that wasn't it. So what was it? Did he mean Kristi? No. If he had then she would have already been not alone. So what did he mean? Who did he mean? Did he even mean anything, or was he just telling her that to placate her? She didn't know, didn't really care. The only thing that mattered was him and her… and that he was making her leave.

"Max…"

He hugged her again before gently pushing her away and taking a step back away from her and the ledge, close enough that he was still in arms reach. Glanced quickly into the black forest. "Everything will be okay, Lily. I promise, now go. Before it's too late."

If he promised, then he must have meant it. It still hurt though. It hurt so much that she thought for sure that she was dying. It felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. It felt like she was losing everything just like it had felt so many years ago. She sobbed and looked at him remorsefully.

"I love you, Max."

His expression softened. "I love you too, Lils. Now go," he said.

She nodded her head, turned and stepped up close to the edge. Close enough that the tip of her toes were hanging off slightly. She turned her head and looked at him. He smiled at her, something sad and bittersweet.

"See ya round, Tiger."

And with that, he gently pushed her. She vanished over the edge just as something exploded out of the forest, screamed shrilly as she kept getting closer and closer to the water, fear squeezing her relentlessly. She hit the water hard, sank into it with even creating a ripple. All around her was black, so unforgiving. She couldn't see a thing. It was so heavy. She couldn't breath, couldn't do anything but sink. Sink further into the black abyss, fear controlling her. The need for air became too much, dark spots began to flicker behind her eyes. She closed her eyes, reached the bottom, and-/

Lily's eyes snapped opened. She breathed in deeply, the oxygen that filled her lungs a most welcomed thing. And all at once, the memory of the dream slammed into existence, forcing Lily to think about it. Max… she wanted to cry. Why? Why now? Why was he all of a sudden plaguing her by memories of him, dreams of him? Was this some kind of punishment for not thinking about him for so many years? Her punishment for killing him? Sure she didn't actually kill him by all definitions of the word, but she might as well have. It was her fault after all. Was this his way of getting back at her? A mewling sound started low in her throat. Oh God.

She missed him so much. She closed her eyes; let a single tear leak out of the corner of one of her eyes. She turned her head slightly, opened her eyes… and saw James Potter leaning against the wall, watching her intently. And as much as she wanted to pull her guards up, construct her walls around her again and turn into the stoic bitch she played so well, she couldn't. She just couldn't, too much inner torment crashing around within her. Her dream had left her exposed and vulnerable, and the fact that pissed her off most- she wasn't actually able to conjure up a good rage, but she felt the weak prickling of it- was that James Potter was the one to witness her time of vulnerability… weakness… need.

And she hated him just a little bit more because of it.

She turned her head away from him, closed her eyes and covered them with one of her hands, and leaned back more on the pillows beneath her head. Wait… pillows? And it was then that Lily became aware of her physical pain. She cracked one of her eyes opened, then the other, slowly looked around at where she was. The hospital wing. Why was she in the hospital wing? What was wrong with her? Why was she in pain? And why the fuck was James Potter there? Did he injure her? She didn't know, but she didn't think he did. Bugger. She would have loved to have another thing to hate him for.

"You're in the hospital wing," James spoke up, his voice bland and deep.

Lily looked at him, fought back her grimace of pain. Her whole bloody body hurt, and she couldn't figure out or remember why. "Thanks, like I couldn't figure that one out," she snapped moodily, before asking grudgingly, "Why?"

"You don't remember?"

She scooted up in the bed, wincing as she did so. "Of course I remember. That is why I'm asking you after all."

James raised an eyebrow, ignored her sarcasm. "You were hit with a bludger at the game. You've been in here for six days. In," he looked at his watch, "five hours it'll be a week. There's some water on the bedside table."

Lily frowned. That could explain why she hurt. She looked at the water, wondered briefly if he had done anything to it, decided she really didn't care, and took a drink. Asked afterwards, "Where's Kristi?"

James shrugged. "Arabella finally got her to leave a few hours ago to rest. She hadn't left really since you was brought in."

Lily looked at him, her lip curved in a sneer. "And you just graciously decided to take up her post and keep watch over me? I'm touched, really. Now why the fuck are you here?"

James' lip twitched. "Can't a bloke be concerned?"

"Not when said bloke hates the person he claims he's concerned over, and when said receiver of the concern hates the bloke."

"Even hurt you're a bitch."

Lily shrugged, plastered a sarcastic smile on her face. "What can I say? I'm a bitch."

She shook her head, slowly pulled her covers back away from her. Frowned in distaste when she saw the white gown she wore. She grumbled under her breath, scooted so she was sitting on the edge of the bed. Slowly eased herself off until her bare feet touched the icy cold floor. She heard James move behind her, didn't turn to look at him.

"What are you doing?" asked James, his voice tense.

She briefly glanced over her shoulder to look at James. He was standing stiff, watching her carefully with some emotion shining in his dark eyes. She didn't even care what the emotion was. Didn't really care about anything at that moment. What she wanted was to be back home, in her bed. She didn't want to be here anymore, wanted to leave. Be rid of Hogwarts, England, James Potter, everything in it. She just wanted to be alone. Didn't want to have to face the world anymore.

"Not exactly the brightest cookie in the jar, are ya, Potter?" Lily said in a tense, pained voice. Her whole body hurt, and trying to walk wasn't helping. She was determined, though. Fuck having to walk through Hogwarts' halls in nothing but a thin white cotton gown. She didn't care. She didn't want to stay here, hated any form of a hospital.

With careful steps, Lily slowly walked away from the bed. However, when she was just out of reach of the bed she swayed. Her equilibrium out of wack. Nausea made itself known. She held her head and stomach, closed her eyes, and concentrated on not falling or vomiting. For only being hit with a single bludger, she sure was suffering a lot. Had she mentioned how much she Quidditch, now more so than before?

Her eyes snapped opened when she felt someone touch her shoulder firmly. She glared at James; she hadn't heard him cross the floor. She jerked away from him, wished she hadn't a second later when she stumbled back and fell on the floor. She heard James' frustrated sigh, heard him swear under his breath (oddly enough it sounded a lot like stubborn bitch… interesting). She watched him as he walked over to her, picked her up as if she was nothing and haphazardly deposited her on the bed she had been laying on.

She glared at him, tried to get back up only to have James push her back down. She narrowed her eyes at him, was met with a cold look. Just who the hell did he think he was? He couldn't just go around and pick her up and throw her down like a freaking rag doll. Hell, he shouldn't have touched her, let alone picked her up period. The nerve of him. But every time she tried to get up, he only pushed her back down. She growled rather weakly at him and tired yet once again, only for the same thing to happen. Growing agitated, she began to struggle, only to quickly be restrained later. Breathed heavily because of her weakened state.

"Let go of me," she demanded, glaring at James.

He glared right back at her, and growled, "No."

"James Potter, so help me, if you don't let me go-"

He laughed coldly. "You'll what?"

She glared at him with ever ounce of hate she could muster up at that moment. He was right, and she knew it. She couldn't do anything to him, not in the condition she was in. He knew it. She knew it. And it pissed her off. Several minutes ticked by with him holding her by her upper arms, the both of them glaring at each other. Finally James broke their little glaring contest, captured Lily's lips before she could jerk away from him.

It was a quick kiss, and when he pulled back slightly, Lily hoarsely said, "You're not supposed to kiss hurt people."

"Shut up, Evans." And he was back to kissing her… and she let him, responded to his demands.

He tasted like smoke and vodka, making Lily wonder somewhere vaguely in the back of her mind if James smoked, decided she didn't care as he ravaged her mouth expertly with his tongue before, with a few protests from her, started trailing kisses down the slope of her neck. He pulled her closer, nibbled, sucked and soothed the places on her neck with gently kisses, drawing patterns she couldn't figure out on her stomach and sides through the thin fabric of her cotton gown. Worked his way across her collarbone and back up to her mouth, brutally kissing her as he slid a hand under the hem of her nightgown, slowly moving upwards… not that Lily really cared at the moment. A fire was spreading through her body and nether regions, and she couldn't help but hate James for being able to do this to her. Hated him for being able to make her want to lose complete control and let him have his wicked way with her.

She pushed him away from her. Let him push her back on the bed and settle on top of her when he went to kiss her again. He cupped the side of her face, smashed his mouth down on hers none to gently. Lily's body, though thoroughly enjoying James' attention, began to protest against James and Lily's roughness, causing Lily to make a sound of pain. James pulled away, looked down at her.

"What's wrong?"

"I was hit with a fucking bludger, Potter, and just now woke up," she stated, wincing in pain.

"I hurt you."

Something in James' voice made Lily look at him. Her brow furrowed. Something, some emotion besides lust, was swimming around. Concern? Was he actually concerned about her? She almost scoffed at the question. Of course he wasn't. This was James Potter, the guy that had hated her since her first day of Hogwarts. The person she hated more than anyone. They didn't feel concern about or for each other. They didn't feel anything about each other, with the exception of their obvious lust and mutual loathing. So what was that swirling around in his eyes?

"That's kinda why I said you don't kiss hurt people." And for once there wasn't any malice in her voice, there wasn't really anything in her voice. Just a tired softness.

James gently brought his hand up and touched the side of her head, almost her temple; his eyes followed his movements, hers stayed on his face, watching him with cold eyes. His face was blank, leaving her to guess what he was feeling, his eyes carefully masked. She let him touch her, let him gently brush some red strands of hair back from her face. Allowed him to gently kiss her jaw, nuzzle her cheek, her neck. Gone was the fervent passion and brutality of just moments ago. Both were gentle with their actions, hesitant, unsure. It was strange for both of them, something neither one was all the used too. But Lily didn't push him away.

"Why are you doing this?" Her whisper was soft, unsure.

James raised his head slightly, just enough so that he could look at her. He brought his other hand up and touched the other side of her face, brushing the skin just under her eyes with his rough thumb. He watched his thumb intently; studied the difference between her skin and his before flicking his eyes up to hers. They were dark, darker than usual, but… empty. Her brow crinkled, and as if it had a mind of it own, Lily's hand rose and touched James' cheek. She had never seen his eyes look so forlorn, so lack of emotion. With his friends, he always seemed happy, joked around with them. Had eyes that were alive and that sparkled, and a voice full of teasing. So how come with her, he was so… empty? Was that the right word? Cold? And it wasn't the kind of cold associated with hating a person.

"Who's Max?"

Lily froze, her body tensing considerably. He hadn't just asked her that. He just didn't speak his name. He didn't know about Max. No one did. He was hers. Her secret. Her eyes hardened.

"You were talking in your sleep, and when you woke up you were crying. Who is he?"

If she didn't know better, she would think that she could detect a hint of… jealousy in his voice. Lily glared at him. "Get off and get out," she ordered.

"Evans-"

Lily shoved James hard. He moved, sat up, allowing Lily to sit up scoot away from him. He watched as she sat against the wall, putting her side partially to him and hugging her knees tightly to her chest.

"Get out, Potter." Her voice, though cold and full of loathing, cracked and she hated herself for it. For just a second, she had allowed herself to forget Max and her dream. Allowed passion to take over, and take away the gnawing pain inside.

"Who is he, Lily," James asked again, persistent in getting an answer.

Lily didn't look at James as she growled out, "None of your fucking business."

"You cried out for him," he said.

When Lily didn't respond, he reached for her. Lily saw his movement from the corner of her eyes, snapped her head and glared at him, eyes full of unshed tears that she hated for him too see. "Don't touch me. Just get the fuck out."

"Lily…"

A tear fell; her breathing grew faster. Her throat constricted. Oh God. It hurt so much. She buried her face in her knees, begged him, her voice expressing her inner anguish, "James, just please go…"

And whether it was because of her breaking voice, her pleading tone, the way her shoulders shook, or her saying his first name like she had, James got up from the bed. He grabbed his coat and started to walk toward the door, stopped, and took one last look at Lily. He opened his mouth to say something, thought better off it, turned around and walked through door. And only when he left did Lily let the loud sobs that she had been holding in erupt, her body wracking violently.

A/N- Aren't you proud of me? Two chapters in a row, and a relatively long one at that. Heh… bet ya thought it was going to take another four months for me to get a chapter out. Uh-huh, proved you didn't I… just don't expect it on a regular basis. Thanks for all the reviews. I'll try to have the next chapter out soon, that way you can find out more about the bludger incident and Maxie.

ZombieGurl98