A/N: Hello one and all! I am so sorry for the delay. Honestly, it has been too long – and even I know that. Thank you SO much for the reviewers, you guys rock my socks! You guys are right up there with the Beatles, P2 and Good Old Frank'N'Furter! So now, without further ado, I bring you another twisted instalment of "O, Woe is Me, My Life is a Misery".

Disclaimer: Ok, do any of you honestly think I own Harry Potter or Rocky Horror Picture Show? I think not!

Chapter 12: What a guy! Makes you cry…and I did

"Ah Miss. Granger, I see you finally decide to grace us with your presence" I heard a silky drawl from the other side of the room. Good old Snape, you have to wonder how long a rod has been up his arse for. And seeing from his attitude from the last couple of days, it must have grown spikes as well.

"Sorry Professor"

Of course, Malfoy was sitting on one of the Spartan chairs of the office. Looking elegant and precise (as usual), you could really appreciate not only his beauty, but his prissy hair-cut. After these last few days, I wouldn't be surprised if he was really a hermaphrodite.

"Tonight, you two shall be cleaning out caldrons. Every single one, and if I come back and they are not complete Gryffindor will be in minus numbers and Lucius shall be receiving an owl"

Then, he did the worst thing of all. He left us. Left us. Am I the only person here that understands the grave nature of this prospect? Hello, earth to Professor, if you think Neville's caldron exploding is bad, wait till you see the hurricane that has been made of this classroom when you return! Stupid-rod-up-his-arse-celibate-prick.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here Granger? You and me, alone…"

"I know exactly at what you are getting at Malfoy and I don't want to be involved in any way with your idle plans"

"C'mon, it's not so bad…I believe you will find it quite…pleasurable" He said, coming towards me.

"Look, Malfoy, how does 'no' sound?"

"Granger, I'm used to getting what I want"

Every step that he took towards me, I took one back.

"Malfoy, you stupid git! Back off!" Ok, now he was really starting to freak me out.

"Do you find me intimidating Granger?"

"Uh…no…not in the slightest…" Dammit! Don't stutter girl!

"Nobody will know…what will it matter?"

"Everything Malfoy, everything. Now back off and get back to your caldron!"

"Fine, whatever" He said, raising his hands. He then walked away, back to his side of the classroom, to leave me, on the floor with a scrubbing brush and a caldron with something that looked like fungus in it. Great, just diddly.

After I while, I was getting used to the whole cleaning pots idea. I was pretty damn good at it! I created a system…pretend to scrub for two minutes then whip out my wand and hey presto! No more fungus/toad spawn/Ron's outfit resembling ingredients.

"Granger" I heard from across the room.

"What is it that you could possibly want Malfoy?"

And then I heard it plain and simple.

"You"

"That's great Malfoy. Now go back to your daydreams of fucking Snape and all will be normal"

"No, I'm serious Granger. I have a thing for you"

"And Ron's a normal, healthy boy"

"Granger" then, I realised he was a few centimetres away from my face. "I think I'm in love with you"

"Excuse me?"

"I love you"

"Do not use the 'L' word in my presence!"

"But…"

"No! You don't love me. You aren't capable of love. You are only capable of loving yourself and you're fucked up haircut! Now, please, leave me in peace!"

He said the 'L' word…he said the 'L' word…o lord, lordy lordy lordy. What's better, this or Ron's ensemble? Ok, I'll take Ron any day.

He was soon at the other side of the classroom yet again, looking all sad and wistful.

"Just checking to see if the rumours were true if you drank from the furry cup Granger. Guess they were true, I mean, what kind of sane woman rejects me?"

Good Old Malfoy, back to the norm.

By 11 o'clock, the evening from hell was over. Thank you Merlin! As Malfoy and I headed back to our common room, he didn't say a thing to me (thank you Merlin); he didn't come on to me (thank you Merlin) or give me any strange look (thank you Merlin!). And then, it hit me, I was anticipating his sexual gestures so much…I was actually wanting it. Damn it! He's twisted my mind!

The next morning, we had one of those terribly annoying Prefects and Heads meetings. O joy. Just another excuse for Malfoy to try and worm his hand up my skirt. Except, this time, I didn't feel any snaky business going on down there. Huh? This isn't normal. He doesn't look normal today. And I was right, because, sitting next to him was Pansy Parkinson…our favourite waste of space – and I noticed they were passing notes. I should deduct points just for that! Only cause your jealous…

I slipped a peak at it while they thought I wasn't looking. Honestly, Slytherins are idiots.

I want to fuck you tonight

And I you

Come to my rooms at 11 pm. Granger will probably be asleep by then.

Yeah, stupid mudblood

Hey Pansy, will you be my girlfriend?

Will I? Oh, god yes… (And that's not the only time I will be saying that…)

I can't wait

Breathe Granger, breathe…it had become my new mantra during that fateful meeting. I then suddenly realised that everybody was voting on something. Shit.

"All those who agree to a school dance say 'I'" and then suddenly, there were simultaneous "I's" throughout the room.

Fuck, double fuck!

Yay, a prom! Just what I was looking forward to…god, I will need to find a date. Pfft, as if I will get one. I hate being me…why oh why didn't I pash Malfoy senseless last night? Soon, everyone was walking out the room, gossiping about what they were going to wear and then, out of the corner of my eye, is see Malfoy down on his knee asking Parkinson to the dance. Stupid bitch! Hey…where did that come from?

As quickly as I was in, I was out, before that stupid ferret's decadence saps my will!

As soon as I was out of that room, I was wishing I was back in. Because who did I see running towards me…none other then the newly discovered transvestite Ronald Weasley. Yet another useless piece of fuck in my life.

"Herms!" he said, pulling me over and doing those weird French air-kiss thingies.

"Are you wearing mascara?"

"Yes! Ginny gave it to me! Isn't it fa-a-a-a-abulous?" He sounded like he was bleating.

"Yeah…uh…sure" Today, he had a weird gay accent. Just peachy. I am best friends with somebody who is unsure of their preference – and their sex. How can somebody with huge biceps wear heels? Am I the only person here with questions?

"Hermie, I was wondering if you would be my date to the prom." How did he find out so quickly, and then I noticed that somehow, there posters were magically appearing all over the place. I hate magic sometimes.

"Hermie…Hermie…you kind of zoned out for a second…I think you're twitching…"

"Huh, yeah, I'm alright"

"So, will you?"

"I…uh…no…Ron, we are over, done, gone, finished, finitio. Now leave me be! I don't want to be with a tri-sexual"

"Oh…alright…I'll go find Crabbe then!" And off he gallivanted into the unknown. I could punch that kid.

"Tut, tut, tut Granger" I then heard. I swear that blond is like one of those mosquitos' that just won't disappear!

"What is it now Malfoy?"

"You're dateless…you even rejected Weasley…what ever will you do?"

"Punch you?"

"I'm afraid" Then he and a hysterically giggling Parkinson walked off to presumably fuck in a broom closet.

Its amazing, suddenly, I have all these mixed feelings I never knew even existed. One minute, I want to punch the living daylights out of him, the next, I want to jump on top of him and do it like they do on that muggle discovery channel. I was devastated to say the least. I was angry…so very angry. Angry at him for leading me on, lying and then just being so damn sexy! And angry at myself for letting myself getting into those awkward positions, then anticipating them, then craving them like food. I can see the colours of deception right in front of my own two eyes, yet I am completely colour-blind to them.

With my emotional turmoil, I did what any other girl would do – run to their room and cry.

A/N: There you have it – I'll update when I have the chance…bloody school work!
Ps. I LOVE reviews!