Chapter 2
I broke all our promises
And I evened out the score
Then I took a plane to Mexico
So you couldn't find me anymore
And I hurt you and your feelings
And I broke all the things we loved
And I couldn't face the pain again
I couldn't face what we lost
-Same Team by Alice Merton
Hours later back at the camp, D'Jaq was attempting to stitch Morgan's wounds, but she was not getting anywhere due to the arguing between Morgan and Robin. It had been brought to the gang's attention that Morgan had been hiding her identity ever since they met. At first thrilled at the prospect of another woman in the camp, D'Jaq's excitement quickly faded when she learned how much it angered Robin.
"Robin, I'm sorry I lied to you, to the gang, but you must understand I did it to protect myself. It's not safe for a woman to travel by herself, especially in these times. If you don't believe me, ask D'Jaq as to why she disguised herself as a man for so long. Look, no one blinks an eye at a young man traveling alone, but anytime I saw a woman traveling alone she was harassed, or worse by men. Do you know how many horror stories I heard from women during my travels, not long after I arrived in England? Don't you think I wanted to tell you? It wasn't an easy task keeping my identity a secret over the years. There were so many times that I wanted to tell you the truth, but something seemed to always get in the way. I knew that if people were to find out who I was, it could create issues, especially during fights. People would be more concerned about the possibility of me being captured as a woman vs a man. A man, if taken prisoner by the sheriff or Sir. Guy, would have less to worry about in the form of torture than a woman; sadly, it's a well-known fact.
You cannot honestly tell me that no one here is concerned about D'Jaq and Marian when we fight with the enemy, and I did not want to be the cause of someone being injured because they were worried about me! So, yes, I lied all these years but with the best intentions. My feelings have always been honest though, never have I lied about how I feel about you, Robin.
I had planned on telling you tonight, but we all see how well that plan went didn't we?" Morgan mumbled the last part under her breath.
"After all these years, it pains me you thought you couldn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. Why did you not trust me enough to tell me, haven't I kept your other secrets?! What else have you been hiding from me? Are you a spy for Gisborne or even the sheriff?" Robin accused, getting in Morgan's face.
Getting up and stumbling towards Robin, ruining D'Jaq's work again, Morgan shoved Robin away from her. "Take that back!" 'How dare he accuse me of such a thing!' she thought to herself. "Take it back! When have I ever done something that would lead you to such thoughts? I will give you a clue, NEVER. I have been loyal to you since day one, and you know that. So, until you can figure out how to be a rational adult, piss off!" Morgan spat at him as she backed him into a tree.
"You are on dangerous grounds woman. I'll not have you talking to me with such disrespect and I'll have no more of your lies! I am the leader of the gang, I make the final calls, I'm responsible for everyone's safety and well-being, or did you forget that as well?" Robin shot back shoving Morgan with just as much force as she had shoved him. The gang couldn't understand why he was so upset, wasn't this just like D'Jaqs' situation when they first met her? Did it have something to do with how Robin felt towards Morgan?
"Robin, you are so full of shit right now. There is no reasoning with you apparently, so I'll take my leave of you until you can figure out how to stop acting like a child!" Morgan stumbled, a wave of dizziness washing over her, as she attempted to walk away from Robin. 'Damn it! I guess I lost more blood than I realized because I'm having a hard time standing. I need to just suck it up until I'm away from Robin, then I can sit down for just a moment and rest.' Morgan thought to herself as she leaned up against the nearest tree for support, trying to hide her failing strength.
"Robin, stop this nonsense, please! Morgan is injured and her wounds need to be taken care of. This fighting is not good for her health." D'Jaq attempted to intervene, seeing the paleness in Morgan's face and the way she was using the tree for support.
"Hear this, as leader of our gang, I hear-by decree Morgan as a traitor and banish her from the camp forever. For all intent and purposes, after today she is dead to us. No one is to speak to her, or even mention her name again!" Robin shouted to the gang, ignoring the protests and gasps from everyone. Robin then turned his attention back on Morgan "If I ever see your face around here again, I will not be held responsible for my actions. This is your only warning!" He then turned to D'Jaq, "Finish bandaging her up, and then you!" he pointed to Morgan "Will leave." Robin stated as he walked away from the group, leaving everyone stunned. Had they all witnessed the same thing just now? Had Robin gone and lost his mind, banishing Morgan just for hiding her sex? Surely there was more to this story as it currently wasn't making sense.
"Don't bother Jaq, I wouldn't want you to be accused of helping a traitor and getting banished as well. I'll just grab my things and be on my way then. Robin, remember what we have between us, what we've been through. You know that I've loved you for many years now, and I hope you realize what you are doing before it's too late!" Morgan called out to Robin, her voice breaking at the end.
Robin pivoted around, his face devoid of any emotion, but his eyes flashed with anger, hurt, and betrayal. Continuing to walk back towards Morgan, he reached his hand out and clasped the dog tag around Morgan's neck, violently tearing it off and throwing it into the campfire.
She loves me? How is hiding your identity, and letting the person who loved you assume you were someone else love? Robin thought to himself.
Robin had struggled with his feeling towards Morgan for a while as he had been led to believe that Morgan was a man. Robin had been raised a catholic as a child and had therefore been taught that sex was strictly for reproduction purposes, be between a man and a woman, and only on certain days! Anything outside of that was considered a sin and depending on who caught you preforming these alleged sinful acts, would determine the severity of your punishment. He had been to a public execution once, as a young child, for two men who had been caught having relations with each other. They were burned at the stake for their mortal sin and the priest, who over saw the execution, preached that this was what happened when you engaged in sinful behavior. The scene had always stayed with Robin, no matter how much he tried to banish it from his thoughts.
Robin hadn't felt that sex should only be for reproduction, as a young man he slept with any woman who would have him, and quickly gained a reputation as a womanizer. He frequented brothels often and could be relied on to help keep a business open, should he like the prostitutes there. So, imagine his shock when he realized not only was he attracted to Morgan, but had romantic feelings for the man! Oh, how he tried to deny those feelings for so long, but he just couldn't stay away from the man after they shared their first kiss. After a while, kissing hadn't been enough to satisfy their needs, Robin remembered, as his mind flashed back to the first time, but certainly not the last time Morgan and he had been intimate with each other.
Robin and Morgan had taken a stroll in the woods together, to get away from prying eyes and to just be free to enjoy each other's company. It had been a hot summer day and Robin had gone swimming to cool off while Morgan just watched, as he never did partake in group activates that required him to remove his clothes. He had often told the gang it was because he was uncomfortable with his body, an excuse the gang had come to easily accept.
When Robin got out of the water, he had seen Morgan dozing in the shade of their Oak tree, and a mischievous smile crossed Robin's face. He walked up to Morgan shaking the water from his head causing the man to shriek in surprise and glare at him in response to his action. Robin simply laughed as he crouched down and kissed Morgan apologetically, "Sorry, but I couldn't help it." He explained, the impish grin contradicting his words.
"Robin, you are such a child sometimes! It makes me wonder what I even see in you." Morgan sighed and leaned back to admire Robin's well-toned and well-endowed body. Morgan felt himself becoming aroused at the sight in front of him. Grabbing a fistful of Robins hair, he pulled the man down and gave him a kiss that was full of hunger.
Robin let out a moan as the kissing progressed from slow and steady to hot and full of need. Robin tried to run his hands under Morgan's shirt, as he needed skin to skin contact. However, per the usual, whenever Robin tried to get under Morgan's shirt, the man would gently pull the roaming hands out from under the shirt and guide them back to the outside.
"No Robin," Morgan said huskily to him before trailing kisses from Robins lips, to along his jaw and across his chest, stopping to pay attention to Robin's nipples. Morgan let his tongue glide over one and then the other, grinning like a cat who ate the canary when he heard Robin moan at his ministrations. Continuing the path that he had initially set upon, he continued raining kisses on Robin's chest going lower and lower each time. Morgan was also letting his hands slide across Robin's bare chest, enjoying the feel of the muscles rippling under his touch.
Robin almost couldn't think straight, his body seemed to know instinctually where this was going, as he became very aroused. He eagerly drunk in the taste and smell of Morgan as they tried to satiate their need for each other. To Robin, Morgan often smelled of sandalwood and lilacs, a strange combination for certain, but the man had often proved to be anything but ordinary Robin thought, as he and Morgan continued kissing.
Morgan had tiny hands for a man, but Robin had found that didn't make them any less capable at evoking strong emotions from him, as the said tiny, but mighty hands tightened their grip on Robin's hair, and pulled him closer. Robin complied in the request, hungerly drinking in the taste of the man he had come to realized he loved a feeling that wasn't an easy one to admit.
As Robin deepened the kiss, he heard himself moan again in pleasure, the man sometimes tasted of strong dark red wine, similar to the kind Morgan frequently enjoyed. Robin sometimes felt drunk after sharing long kisses with Morgan, like he had actually drank a few glasses of wine! Morgan had often laughed at him and reminded him that it was partly biological, and if their acts didn't evoke some sort of response then they were doing something wrong.
Morgan paused his roaming when he reached Robin's navel, he looked up at Robin, they had never gone further than kissing and some groping above the waist. "Robin, I want to please you, I want to take you to the next level." Morgan stated, he knew there would be no going back after this and only wanted to move forward if Robin was willing.
"Morgan, I've never done this before. I don't want to disappoint you, but I want this more than I know I should. Take me Morgan, take all of me!" Robin struggled to say, as he was breathing so quickly, and his heart was racing he could only think of one thing at this point.
Robin came back to reality, she loved him! Did she realize what she had meant to him? What they had risked all those years of hiding when they could have been open about their relationship? Robin wasn't sure how to feel about everything now, it was all too new. Did this mean that he liked men and women; women who acted/dressed like men, or just men? His thoughts started to consume him, he couldn't control the swirling emotions inside of him any longer and he felt something snap.
"Get out, now! I don't want to hear any more of your lies," he shouted at Morgan pushing her away from him as if she disgusted him, he needed to get away from her, from everyone. He felt like his head was going to explode and that he couldn't breathe. He realized he was having what Morgan would call a panic attack.
"Robin!" Little John shouted in warning to him. Robin was pushing boundaries and Little John would have no qualms in literally smacking sense into Robin. He'd done so before and would do it again should the need arise.
"The rest of you don't just stand there, start packing up camp. We move today and leave for the holy land tomorrow." Robin barked the orders at everyone else while keeping his back to Morgan.