Erik's trip to the therapist
Characters:
Erik: the Phantom of the Opera
Dr. Jones: the therapist
The Omnipotent Voice From Above: Erik's conscience
(We open to a typical therapist's office. The Therapist sits at her desk, clipboard in hand. The Phantom is sitting upright on the couch. Hidden beneath the folds of his cape is a Punjab lasso, with the end sticking slightly out towards us. This enables us to see it while the therapist notices nothing.)
T: Now, Erik-do you mind if I call you Erik-?
E: (in a low growl) Yes, I mind.
T: (does not hear this) What seems to be wrong, Erik? What brings you hear?
E: Well, apparently, I have "homicidal tendencies" or something like that.
T: And who first noticed these tendencies?
E: (swears under his breath) I told Miranda this was a bad idea…
T: Your wife?
E: (shocked) Non! A friend, nothing more.
T: Your friend?
E: Yes. Miranda Giry is my friend. She's the one who first mentioned these "homicidal rages."
T: I see. Now, tell me about your childhood.
E: Hmm, let's see…my mother hated me…my mother hated me…and, oh! I spent two years of my life locked in a cage in some freak show. What a wonderful childhood I had.
T: Now, Erik, it couldn't have been that bad.
E: (hand moves to lasso) In that case, you tell me about my childhood.
T: Erik, you're being unreasonable.
E: (hand clenches on rope) Don't talk to me that way…
OVfA: Erik, calm down. There'll be plenty of time for that later.
E: (loosens grip on rope) Yes, yes… My apologies, Doctor. You were saying?
T: (smiles) I was asking about your childhood. How did you come to acquire your residence to beneath the Opera Populàirè?
E: That would be Miranda's doing. She rescued me. I owe her my very life.
T: Yet you are only friends?
E: Miranda is a widow with a teenaged daughter.
T: All the more reason to marry her!
E: (growing angry) I can't. I have my reasons.
T: Well, why not?
E: Because I don't love her! I never have!
(Silence)
T: Erik, are you alright?
E: Fine. Just fine.
T: Have you ever been in love?
OVfA: Answer her. You don't have to go into detail.
E: Yes, I have.
T: Erik, do you want to talk about it.
E: No, not really. I'd like to leave.
T: No, not for another forty minutes. Tell me about your love.
E: (exaggerated sigh) Alright. She was beautiful. A singer. But she didn't love me. Can't say I blame her.
T: Why is that, Erik?
E: Because of what I am. A monster.
T: Now Erik, you aren't a monster.
E: Yes, I am. I'm repulsive.
T: Erik…
E: (removes mask, faces T) What was that about not being a monster?
T: (Clearly horrified) Well I…I…could you put your mask back on, please?
E: (replaces mask)My point exactly. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to leave.
T: No, you have thirty minutes left. Now, about your face…
E: (tenses, holding rope) What about it?
T: How…what happened?
E: Oh, I had acid thrown on me as a child…I was born this way! Thus the freak show!
OvfA: Go ahead, I won't stop you…
E: You don't get it! I killed a man when I was twelve! I killed again just recently! The "Phantom of the Opera"? Me! My fault! I did that! That is why Christine…(a tear trickles down his cheek)
T: (goes from cowering, places hand on his shoulder) Erik? Are you alright?
E: (furious) Don't touch me! (whips around; as he does, his mask flies off) No, I'm not alright. I am pissed off! And you just sit there and act like life is just…tra la la and fuzzy bunnies! This is why I have homicidal rages!
T Calm down or I'll have to call security.
E: Call them! I. Don't. Care!
T: Erik, please! Listen to me!
E: (screaming) No! You listen to me! I'm sick to death of people like you! I like have a heart full of hatred!
OVfA: Oh do it already. I'm bored.
E: Why not! People already say I'm evil. May as well enjoy it!
T: Erik!
E: (whips back cape, revealing lasso. In an instant, he has the therapist's arms pinned behind her and the rope around her neck) Don't start!
OVfA: About time!
T: (weakly) Stop! Erik, please!
E: (tightens the rope)
T: (gasps, then is still and silent)
E: (hides rope, checks pulse, then turns to leave. At the door, he pauses) Oh, and by the way, don't call me Erik. (leaves)
OVfA: (comes onstage, is revealed to be a sixteen year old girl) Yeah, being his conscience rocks! I love this job! (kicks therapist's body) Yeah, I love my job! (exits)
(curtain closes; Therapist is left out of it. She stands)
T: Well, that is it! No more homicidal freaks!
E: (off stage) Should I?
OVfA: Yes. Please.
(A piano key hits the therapist's head, she falls, is still.
(E and OVfA exchange high fives, Erik laughs.)
(end)