Okay, this is the disclaimer. Um...Espio the Chameleon copyrighted to Sega and Sonic Team. Everyone else me.
It's Called Contradiction
"Alright, Zeera. Are you ready?" Espio the chameleon asked as his new apprentice, Zeera the panther stood in front of him.
She was a somewhat light brown with a darker brown ponytail strapped up by a lime green hair band, though she left a lock of it over her right eye.. She wore a black (though it looked more like a dark gray because of fading) hooded sweater with two silver Chinese dragons on the front and a smaller one in the back. It was a bit short, and exposed her white belly fur. She also wore blue boot cut Capri pants with a loop on the left leg. A long tail poked out of these pants, tipped in black fading into the brown, as with her hair. She had lime green shoes with tiger stripes on them, and brown leather fingerless gloves with the same pattern. Her snout had a black stripe about halfway down it, separating the brown from the white that ended her snout. She beamed at Espio through shining, excited emerald green eyes.
"Yeppers!" Zeera announced cheerfully.
"Okay then. First, let's start with breathing exercises-"
"Oh, oh, oh! Are these like the ones in band! In-2-3-4, Out-2-3-4, In-2-3-4, Out-2-3-4..." Zeera said, imitating her breathing exercises for band.
"Um...Well, sort of. We are going to inhale and exhale, but not count. Ready? Inhale...Exhale...Inhale...Exhale...Good. Now, since you're a cat, this next exercise should be simple. I want you to stand on your toes on one foot and repeat the exercise." Espio said, showing Zeera what to do.
"Like this?" Zeera asked, repeating it.
"Yes, just like that. Now, ready? Inhale...Exhale...Inha-"
"Whaaa! Oof! Owwww...Espio! I landed on by dose! Is it bleeding?" Zeera, who had lost her balance, was holding her snout.
"What happened to 'cat-like balance?'" Espio asked rhetorically. "Okay, let me see." Zeera took her hands off her nose. "Oh, that's disgusting! Put your hands back on your nose!" Espio pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and gave it to Zeera.
"Donke shun," Zeera said, still smiling, and putting the hanky on her nose and tilting her head back.
"What?" Espio gave Zeera a puzzled look.
"Dat's German fow 'Tank You,'" She said in a funny tone, due to her nose being a little "clogged" at that moment.
"Okay, well, as soon as you're done, let's get back to work," Espio said, crossing his arms while waiting.
A few minutes later, Zeera tilted her head forward and removed the now red hanky. "Hur ya go!" She offered it back with a toothy smile.
Espio raised a lip in disgust. "No, you can keep it. Really. I have another one," Zeera shrugged and shoved the hanky in her poket. "Okay, shall we begin our next exercise?"
Zeera nodded her head. "Yeah yeah yeah!" she announced enthusiastically.
"Alright then. Since you seem to be a quick learner, and you usually have good balance, I'm going to teach you how to jump from narrow spires. Do you think you can--?"
"Oh oh oh! Then I'll be like Sly Cooper and I'll be all like, 'Press the O button to do a Ninja Spire Jump! Use it to land on small points!' And then I can be a masta thief!"
"Yes...Now, I've set up some poles in a swimming pool. Since cats don't like to swim, your punishment for not making a jump will be getting wet."
"But, uh, Espio, I--"
"No more interruptions, please!" Espio said with a little edge in his voice and holding up a hand for silence. "Follow me."
"Okay, but--"
Espio held up his hand again. "Please, just come with me."
"Okie-pokie then...But don't say I didn't warn you..."
When Espio and Zeera reached the pool, Espio brought Zeera to one end where the poles started. "Okay, for now, you can get across the pool using any method you like, just as long as you don't fall in the water."
"Okay!" Zeera approached the pool and observed it. She grabbed one of the poles, which were really just strong bamboo shoots, and tested its flexibility. With a sly grin, Zeera leapt up as high as she could (which was pretty dag-gum high), landed on top of the shoot, and twaaang! She shot across the pool and landed nimbly on the other side.
"Wow! That was amazing, Zeera!" Espio exclaimed as Zeera bounded up beside him. "Unfortunately, you didn't do as I intended."
"But you said I could use any method, and I used a method involving the flexibility of the bamboo, gravity, inertia, and momentum."
"That's true, but--...Wait, did you figure out how high you had to jump in your head?"
"Nah, I'm just good at judging distances and stuff. That and I've always been a Science Wiz."
"Yes, well, let's try this again. This time, I want you to actually use the poles to get across the pool. Remember, your punishment is the water below, so don't fall in."
Zeera sighed. "Punishment...Sure..." She didn't make an argument out of it, though. She merely approached the bamboo shoots again and analyzed them. She sighed and bounced on top of the first shoot. She made it along well, until she got to about the middle of the pool.
Suddenly, the smooth surface of the water was broken as a blue-green creature thrust itself out of the pool. "Raaaaawwwwwrrrrrrr!
"Aaaaaaaaahhh!" Zeera again lost her balance. Trying to stay on the bamboo, she hooked her claws into the shoot, but to no avail. She bent it backwards, and as her claws slipped loose, the bamboo shot forward, whacking the creature as it swung forward, and the sound of splashes filled the air.
"Owwwwww..." The creature rubbed its head.
Zeera surfaced a second later, gasping for air. She shook off and saw the groaning blue-green beast. "Pacifico! What're you doing here?"
The blue-green creature was a water dragon. He had a white underside, and long, black spikes running down his spine, webbed with a lime green membrane. He had a large set of wings on his back (though they were a bit small compared to other dragon species) and fin-like projections on the back of his head, also webbed with the green membrane. His long tail forked into three different tips at the very end. They, too, were webbed with the membrane. He had a black communicator on his head, and an infrared scanner covered his right eye, which ordinarily would be an aqua blue. He wore black shoes with four white dots making a diamond shape, white gloves, and black spiked bracelets over the gloves. Three pinkish scars went diagonally across his throat.
"Ow...Well, I was gonna see how you were doing with your 'ninja training', but I decided to scare you, since you kinda were around water, and...Well, looks like all that happened was you messed up and I got a nice whack on the head," The water dragon gave an embarrassed grin.
"Oh, its fine, Pacifico. I don't mind."
Espio stared confused into the water. "What? Why aren't you screaming in terror? You're a cat in the water!" the chameleon said, a little frustrated at the fact that his "Falling-In-Water-Will-Encourage-Zeera-To-Do-Well" scheme had failed and that some guy had interfered with his mentoring.
"Oh, about that..." Zeera gave a toothy smile. "Heh...I enjoy the water. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen."
Espio closed his eyes and clenched his fists, but then relaxed. "Alright, it's just her first day. She'll get better," he muttered to himself. "Okay, Zeera, grab your little friend and let's continue. I think you've done fine with this assignment."
"'Kay! C'mon, Pacifico!" Zeera and Pacifico swam to the edge of the pool and crawled out. "So, Oipse, what's on our agenda next?"
"Who's 'Oipse'?" Espio inquired.
"You are."
"Where did you get the name 'Oipse'?"
"From your name."
"I'm sorry, I don't understand."
"Never mind. So, really, what's next?"
"I'm going to teach you to be a little more serious."
"Serious-ness! Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! It buuUUUUUURRRrrrrns!" Zeera mocked dramatically.
"Case and point, Zeera." Espio muttered, crossing his arms in annoyance.
"Oh...Well, I feel sheepish..." Zeera said, slightly embarrassed.
"Oh, oh! Do that goat thing!" Pacifico blurted out.
"Aright. Quickly, though." Espio crossed his arms and half closed his eyes in slight annoyance. Zeera took a deep breath and let out a perfect goat imitation.
"Although that was rather impressive, we should get back to work here," Espio said, growing steadily more irritated. "You like games, right?" Zeera nodded her head enthusiastically. "Well, to work on your seriousness, we're going to have a staring contest. First one to start laughing loses. Sound good to you?"
Zeera nodded again. "Yeah! Let's do it!"
A few moments later, Zeera and Espio were standing in front of each other with Pacifico between them. "Okay, ready, set, GO!" The contest began. For a moment, both contestants kept a straight face, but it wasn't long before Zeera was struggling to keep herself from laughing. To make things worse, Pacifico went behind Espio and started making faces behind him. Zeera's straight face was lost when Pacifico took Zeera's famous "Look, it's a moose!" pose, which involved putting your hands up like antlers.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Look, it's a mooooose! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Zeera fell on the ground laughing. "I can't breathe! Hahahahahaha! I can't breathe! Hahahahahaha...!" Her laughter stopped almost abruptly when she saw Espio looking down disapprovingly. "Okay, that was fun...Are we gonna try again?"
Espio shook his head. "I don't think I could make you serious if everyone you ever cared about died and it was your fault. I'm not sure what I was thinking."
"But I can do it," Zeera insisted.
"No, we'll move on." The chameleon started off again. Zeera put her ears back and looked down at the ground, following Espio and Pacifico behind Zeera.
Pacifico came up beside Zeera. "What's wrong?" he asked, bending his neck down some to get closer to Zeera's face.
"It's nothing..." Zeera uttered. She looked up to see that Espio was gaining ground, and started jogging to keep up. Pacifico wasn't convinced, but he didn't bother arguing and also started jogging to catch up.
For the rest of the day, all the way until 11:45 that night, Espio worked with Zeera. He told her so many secrets to being a ninja; it would make anyone without an I.Q. of at least 165 insane. He taught her that the reason he ran with his head down and elbow out was a matter of aerodynamics and defense (and offense, if needed). He taught her the correct way to throw ninja stars, and how to make them from wood, since she lived in the Mystic Ruins. She was also taught some wicked sweet ninja moves, which in combination with her speed, agility, and a little twist of creativity in each move gave her a great advantage over most enemies. Even Espio himself was impressed. Of course, he was extremely frustrated whenever Zeera goofed off, which was often. Finally, Espio had enough.
"That's it! I've had it up to here with your ignorance! This training session is over! Don't bother showing up tomorrow!" Espio stormed off, muttering under his breath.
"Oh...Burn." Pacifico watched Espio stalking away.
"I didn't know he would get so mad at me..." Zeera's head drooped and her ears went back. She sat down pulled her knees up to her chest and pulled the hood on her dragon sweater over her head. "I feel so bad. Espio took his whole day to train me, and what do I do? I goof off like it's all a big game..."
Pacifico put an arm on her comfortingly. "It's okay. I'm sure he'll be fine in the morning."
"Yeah, maybe. Come on, I should apologize." Zeera hopped up and ran off in the direction Espio went, with Pacifico close behind.
Meanwhile, Espio was walking angrily down the sidewalk back to the Team Chaotix office, growling things that shouldn't be repeated in mixed company.
Unbeknownst to him, however, a small gang was waiting in an alley to jump any passersby, which included Espio.
Espio was so busy cursing himself and Zeera for the waste of his whole day, he didn't notice the gang as it lay in wait. He walked in front of the alley and, "GO!"
"What!" Espio, who was too shocked to defend himself, was caught as six gangsters tackled him to the ground. Two of the gang members grabbed Espio's arms and lifted him off the ground.
A larger, more muscular teen stepped forward, supposedly the gang leader. "Well, well, well, if it ain't Espio of the Chaotix Detective Agency. You've heard of me, I'm sure. Name's Bryan. It's a pleasure to be face to face with one of my enemies, especially in this situation." A few of the others laughed. Espio struggled to escape, but the gangsters were well prepared for even the strongest victim.
"Just give up and give us everything ya got an' we might let ya off without a broken neck." Everyone laughed. The grip on Espio's arms tightened, and the others all closed in on him, the sound of cracking knuckles surrounding him. Espio closed his eyes and waited for the crud to be beaten out of him when he heard an all-too-familiar voice.
"Not on my watch!" Bryan was thrown into a wall, and in his place stood--
"Zeera! What are you doing here!"
"Less talky, more fighty!" Zeera said. She leapt up in the air, stiffened her tail, stuck out her leg, and spun around, a move Espio had taught her, striking one of the boys gripping Espio. He fell to the ground, howling in pain. To the other, she did a flip, separately hitting the gangster under the chin with each foot and her tail.
Espio fell on the ground, the wind being knocked out of him. Pacifico, who had been hovering above as backup, swooped down and grabbed the shaking chameleon. "You okay there, buddy?" Pacifico asked, setting Espio in a gap between his spikes at the base of his neck.
"I...I think so..." he stammered, still a little shaken. "Wow...Look at her go." Espio was transfixed with the fight going on below. Zeera was pulling amazing ninja stunts left and right.
"Hwaaaaaah! Ninja skills!" Zeera cried, leaping into the air in a ninja pose and coming down on a fallen gang member. Another tried to sneak up behind her, but her cat ears allowed her to hear him, and she balled her hand into a fist, threw it back over her shoulder and smacked him a good one in the nose without even looking. Then Bryan skulked behind her, a gun in hand.
"Zeera, look out!" Pacifico and Espio warned simultaneously.
Zeera looked back. Her heart rate seemed to double as her eyes caught on the glinting gun. Flashbacks of her childhood flooded her mind: The screams of her parents; the sound of gunshots reverberating off the trees; the tears that had filled her eyes for months after. She stood frozen by terror, like a deer in front of a pair of headlights.
Then there was a new sensation: A white hot, burning anger. I have to protect my friends! I won't let what happened to my parents happen to me or them! Zeera thought. A single quote filled her head and spilled out of her mouth: "I don't know what's in my future, but I won't let it be a repeat of my past!"
With a mighty panther screech, she leapt in the air and hurled a handful of her wooden ninja stars at Bryan. "Ack!" he hissed as the stars struck his hand and sent the gun flying. But that wasn't all Zeera had up her sleeve. She dashed forward, slid between Bryan's legs, spun around, tripped him, and rolled out of the way before he fell on her. "NINJA SKIIIILLLLLS!" she roared, leaping as high as she could and coming down on Bryan. He rolled over, clutching his belly where the crazed panther had struck him.
Zeera stepped on Bryan's chest, bent down, grabbed his shirt collar, and pulled him up to her face. "If you EVER mess with MY friends again, or even show you lousy, no-good, maniacal, cynic, miserable face in this town again, I'll shred you to ribbons so small and thin, I'll use it to line my ferret cage! Now you, and your gang, BEAT IT!" She stepped off of Bryan, and he and his members that weren't unconscious took off down the street. "Yeah, that's right! You'd BETTER run! Run all the way back to yer momma!" Zeera screamed to them with a very smug look.
"Don't think this is over, Cat Woman!" Bryan growled back.
Pacifico roared so loudly that the buildings shook, and the gang ran even faster. Laughing, the dragon landed. "Way to show 'em who's boss, Zeera!" Pacifico exclaimed, giving Zeera a high-five.
Espio slid off of Pacifico's back. "Zeera! That was extraordinary! You used so many of the things I taught you! I thought you weren't paying attention at all."
"It's called contradiction, my friend. You may have thought that I wasn't paying attention, but in fact, I was listening intently the whole time. It's just that it's my nature to be a little, well, goofy." Zeera rubbed her hand against the back of her head. "I guess I'll...See you later, since you canceled our meeting tomorrow..."
"Zeera?"
"Yeah?"
"I'll train you any time."
Zeera burst into tears and laughter of joy, pulling Espio into a fierce hug.
"Oh! Hmm," Espio smiled and returned her hug.
"Aww, isn't that cute...But it's WRONG!" Pacifico made a disgusted face, and then busted out laughing, holding up three pictures of Zeera and Espio hugging. They immediately let go of each other, then looked slyly at one another.
"Ninja skills?"
"You read my mind, my dear panther."
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
"Huh? Wait...Ah! No! You can't hurt me! I'm an endangered creature! Besides, these are for Knuckles!"
Zeera and Espio chased Pacifico into the night, laughing away as if all their strife had melted away.
"Like I said, I don't know what's in my future, but I won't let it be a repeat of my past. It's called Contradiction..."