A.N: Haha, I lied… sorry. No one die from shock; I've finally updated. School has kept me insanely busy, so fanfiction has been very low on my list of priorities. It's very sad, isn't it? I apologize for the somewhat less than high quality chapters before this… Anyways, on we go; this will be the final chapter.

The entire beach had fallen completely silent. Everyone's attention was fixed on the drama unfolding atop a sand dune, in direct violation of the STAY OFF THE SAND DUNE sign. The thin speedo-clad man from earlier in the story appeared to be attempting to hit a tall column of darkness with a yellow surfboard.

Nita stared at the man incredulously. "Can't he use magic?" she whispered to Kit.

"I think he swallowed too much salt water," Kit whispered back in awe. "Taking on the Lone Power with a surfboard…"

Voldemort did indeed look rather mad. He continued his assault, screaming about how the mean column had kicked sand in his face, stolen his girlfriend, and eaten all of his cabbage.

"He… he has a girlfriend?" Ron asked Harry doubtfully. "I just really can't see You-Know-Who snogging someone." He froze in realization of what he had just said and proceeded to curl up and twitch in the sand.

"Wait a minute… Where's Hermione?" Harry asked, looking around wildly. I haven't seen her for at least an hour!"

Suddenly, a jet of red light flew from the Lone Power, hitting Voldemort.

"A stunning spell?" Harry asked Nita, "Can he do that?"

Before she could respond, a figure covered in shawls, blankets, sunglasses, and 100 spf sunscreen emerged from the column.

"Ah… Hermione?" Nita asked hesitantly, "Do you know who that is?"

"What do you mean, who?" she responded, confused. "It's my Balboro and Nelson Sun Protection Column."

Kit tiptoed up to the disputed column and poked it. "Well, this would explain why it didn't respond to being pummeled with a surfboard…"

No one noticed Wormtail reviving Voldemort from Hermione's stunning spell. He jumped up and bolted towards the breakers laughing maniacally. "You'll never catch me now! The great Lord Volmedort, eh… Voldemort is always triumphant! AHAHAHAHA!" Everyone on the beach watched in amusement as he plunged into the waves and was promptly consumed by a giant white shark.

"Thanks Ed!" Nita called after the shark as he disappeared back under the water.

"Well students, I think it's about time we returned to Hogwarts." Dumbledore announced, standing up and brushing sand off his swim trunks. There was a general murmur of assent to his proclamation as the students gathered around the port keys, shooting nervous glances towards where Ed had vanished.

After watching all the Hogwarts students disappear, Kit turned to Nita. "How about… we don't go swimming?"

"I'm with you on that," she replied nervously. "Ed's alright, but I'm not taking any more chances with him."

"Let's go home." Kit said sleepily, "And next time we go on a vacation, can we go to the mountains?"

Nita suffered a brief vision of the two of them rock climbing and shuddered. "Come on, let's get this transport over with."

Twenty minutes later they appeared with a soft bang of air in Tom and Carl's kitchen.

"Ah! You're back! Now, about that new assignment…"

Meanwhile, Hermione's abandoned black column shifted and let loose a deep, evil laugh…

A.N: I'm really sorry this took so long to finally finish… But I hope you enjoy it and forgive me for leaving it on a cliffie for a year.