Hehe here you go. Umm... lets see... ah! If you can tell me where I snatched the fog scene from (youll see once you read it), you get cookies and my undying love (sorta). Oh yeah! Ive had someone ask me if there are to be pairings and the answer is no. I have no experience with romance (fiction or otherwise...), so my attempts at writing romance is gag-a-hippo nastyness. Believe me, Im doing you a favour by NOT having pairings.

Ultra super thanks to Impersonating-an-entity!

Disclaimer: I own nothing... including my soul... Naruto stole it. :) I couldnt be happier

Legend:

"Ramen!" - Aloud speech

'Damn!' - Thinking/ Thought speech

'Fool.' - Kyuubi thought speech

"Hark!" - Kyuubi Speaking

"Eh?" -Fox/misc speech

Without further a do...

Fortune's Fool

Chapter 3 - Inari's Messanger

By Mirazhe1

The Sandaime's funeral was held not many days after his death, and was dreary and dark, as the heavens contrasted the brightness they had shown only nights before. Black clouds shadowed the buildings and already darkly clad attendants, and even Kyuubi's vibrant red-orange fur looked dim and stark in the gloom. Not many people had shown up, but more than Naruto suspected in the first place. He even recognized a few people such as Iruka (though he admitted it grudgingly, his old academy teacher looked almost exactly the same), and managed to recognize Hyuuga Hinata, as much as she had changed, who was sobbing softly next to a blank faced Hyuuga branch member. The vessel turned away quickly, feeling unusually guilty at seeing someone from such a prestigious clan sobbing so adamantly. Luckily, no one had recognized Naruto (unless they were damn good at hiding it), since he had been careful to stand near the very back of the crowd. Because of this, though, and being so short, actually seeing anything was a trial. The funeral was relatively uneventful, until the infamous Uchiha Sasuke made an appearance and spit on the Sandaime's coffin, then made a hasty retreat. Naruto could only just keep himself from killing the arrogant boy right then. The attendants, obviously stunned, finished quickly after that.

Hardly sparing the remaining attendants a glance, Naruto slowly made his way to Hokage Tower, taking the usual route on the ceiling when he got there, and waving to the guard, who nodded at him, and entered Godaime's office. Unlike his first visit, Godaime didn't end up pummeling the vessel, nor was she sleeping, but calling out commands to the many people bustling in and out of her office to organize papers and such; Naruto even saw Tsunade's assistant, Shizune, among them, whom he had met just yesterday.

"And the Library! Konoha's library will be cleaned up and reopened," Tsunade commanded as she was struck with this inspiration, then looked up. As she noticed the vessel and fox enter the room, her determined face turned to an amused one. "Ah, Naruto, come in." At hearing these words, the assistants in the office quickly made their way out, since they knew it meant Godaime was going to have a meeting (though it also meant "If you don't hurry up and leave through the door, I'll help you leave through the window!"). The vessel entered quickly, taking a seat in a chair across from Godaime that was unoccupied with paperwork.

"How I envy thee, to have underlings listen to thee with such promptness... Unlike most," Kyuubi said, lightly whacking Naruto in the head with his tail as he came to the end of his speech. Naruto replied with a lazy punch at the fox on his shoulder, but Kyuubi deftly dodged and landed on the vessel's lap. Tsunade merely grinned as Naruto crossed his arms, with a pouting look on his face.

"Anyway, I'm sure you want me here to put me on a Genin team, right?" The vessel asked wisely after a moment. Tsunade nodded.

"Anyone training under a demon for six years is going to be ­at least over mid-chunnin level, but I can't just grant you that rank without raising suspicions," She confirmed, her eyes sliding down at her paperwork expertly. Naruto saw this and his own eyes narrowed slightly.

"But that's not all is it," the vessel said as he leaned back into the chair. "The Uchiha is known for being rebellious and running from the village, and when he can't run, he leaks info to missing-nin, or so I've heard. It's also rumored he helped murder his late teammate, but no one's really sure. And now, since there's an opening in the team and Kakashi's not doing his job too well, you want me to keep an eye on Uchiha." Godaime blinked.

"Were did you learn all this?"

"The library," Naruto answered with a foxish smile. Kyuubi merely rolled his eyes, but was mentally patting his student on the back, promising him a new jutsu later. Actually, he had helped Naruto piece it together, but had been surprised by how much his vessel had figured out on his own. Apparently, all those years in the woods had made him shrewd even among the humans, strange creatures they were.

"Well... I guess you caught me," admitted Tsunade, "But you're not quite right. I don't want you just to keep an eye on Sasuke. I know he's responsible for the missing-nin attacks, and believe he might be conspiring with Orochimaru, the serpent Sannin. Unfortunately, I have no definite proof, so that's were your job comes in." Godaime smiled slyly as she steepled her fingers beneath her chin. "I want you to find proof of his treason. The villagers are in such desperate times that they're holding onto any hero figure they can, and with Sasuke's survival after the massacre... Well, let's just say, even if I proposed this as Hokage, I would be the one committing treason."

Naruto and Kyuubi snorted in unison.

"O, what men dare do! What men may do! What men daily do, not knowing what they do!"

"Yeah, jeez." Tsunade blinked at the vessel, wondering how he even understood the fox in the first place, then dismissed it with a shrug. Naruto blinked, then wondered aloud, "I wonder who the third team member is.."

"Haruno Sakura," Tsunade answered absent-mindedly as she handed Naruto two Konoha headbands.

"Haruno...That's not a ninja clan or well known family..." He answered, taking them and tying one around his forehead below long unruly hair (so unruly it spilled over the headband, looking oddly like Yondaime's hair) and the other around Kyuubi's neck.

"Because her family aren't ninja by trade," Godaime answered lazily. "They consist mostly of scholars and, to tell the truth, while Sakura is incredibly smart," Tsunade looked away and coughed something that sounded insulting under her breath as she said this, "I've heard she's weaker than the freshest academy student."

Naruto, who had been stroking Kyuubi's back at the moment, froze and slowly looked up at Godaime. "So you're telling me... I'm on a team with a lazy ass who can't do his job... An insane egotistical bastard... And a worthless wench who couldn't squish an ant if she tried?" The vessel twitched as Tsunade nodded, then sighed. 'Maaan! Two out of three was OK, but the whole team sucks also! I was hoping there would be at least one competent Ninja!' He complained loudly in his mind.

'Frailty, thy name is woman!' The fox replied, equally as loud in his mind.

"When do I meet them…" Naruto grudgingly asked after a moment as Tsunade glanced at the clock.

"Well... Sasuke and Sakura probably got there an hour ago... But Kakashi is probably just arriving, soo... In three minutes." Once again Naruto twitched, then bolted out the door.

"DAMN IT! NO WAY I'M GOING TO BE LATER THAN A LAZY ASS!"

'Foolish, kittling, thou could have easily made it even jogging at thine speed in a minute,' Kyuubi thought to his student as he trotted at his side, a good fifteen minutes after they had left Tsunade's office. Naruto just shrugged, walking slowly as they approached the meeting place.

"Now, where's the fun in that?" Kyuubi just groaned again.

As they approached, Naruto easily picked out Sasuke, as he had seen him in many pictures in the archived newspapers in the library, and not to mention the funeral. He then picked out their sensei, Kakashi, leaning lazily on the bridge railing, reading a rather suspicious-looking book. Last, he spotted the most wonderful color of hair he had ever set eyes upon; the brightest pink, beautifully loud and brilliant. Dear god it was wonderfully bright. As Sakura turned however, his amazement dwindled slightly, as he wondered how such a large forehead could accompany such a wonderfully bright shade of hair.

'But it's… Just so.. Bright! Awesome!' Naruto thought loudly.

'Caution, kittling, all that glisters is not gold.' Kyuubi scolded. Then, to prove the foxes point, Sakura's banshee voice filled the air, and all of Naruto's remaining amazement was easily snuffed out.

"IDIOT! IT TOOK YOU EVEN LONGER TO GET HERE THAN KAKASHI-SENSEI! YOU'RE SUCH A ... A... A DEAD-LAST!" She shrieked, and Kyuubi was sure his ears were bleeding as he crouched low to the ground, covering his head with his paws. Naruto felt likewise. Their growls went unheard under the banshee's voice.

"Ah, sorry, sorry," Naruto said, giving a foxy grin. Sasuke scoffed and Kakashi looked on uncaring. "Old Hag Hokage held Tenko and I back to talk 'bout some junk."

'Me and Tenko, foolish kittling,' Kyuubi mentally corrected. The vessel merely rolled his eyes, then noticed an awkward silence in the group.

"Oh! My name's Uzumaki Naruto, and this is Tenko," he said quickly.

"You'll know me as Hatake Kakashi."

"Haruno Sakura."

Sasuke scoffed.

"It's a liability to bring pets on Ninja missions... Especially young, untrained ones," Kakashi drawled out after a moment, looking down at Kyuubi. He, of coarse, remembered the Kyuubi attack and knew Naruto was its vessel, so a fox tagging along with a fox demon didn't sit well with him.

Naruto, hearing this, frowned angrily for a moment, then beamed brightly. "Don't worry, Kakashi-san, Tenko's well-trained to be a Ninja, and he's probably even smarter than all of us combined." Kyuubi, now in the limelight, puffed out his chest and snorted something akin to "Damn straight!",but Team Seven passed it off as hearing things.

"Well then, let's kill two ninja with one kunai. As a team, we need to assess your abilities as a Genin, and if you believe your... 'partner' is so strong, we'll see just how effective he is," Kakashi said slowly, as if talking to an idiot... Which he might have thought Naruto was. "We were assigned a low C-Rank mission, to do as a team and find your weak points, but if... Tenko is as strong as you say, you should be able to finish the mission easily on your own. Well...We'll hang behind in case you need help, of course," The Jounin said with poorly masked cruelty.

Naruto glared at them for a moment. They seriously, undoubtedly believed that he wouldn't be able to do it.

'Thou art fortune's fool. Thou hast dug thine self into thine own grave, how shalt thee make thine own way out?' Kyuubi asked silently to the vessel. Naruto, looking thoughtful as he gazed at the cloudy sky, paused for a moment, and then answered.

'It's going to be a fogy night tonight...' He thought, then began to explain his general plan to the fox.

As Team 7 arrived at the client's house (a rather LARGE house) on the far side of Kohona, the man explained that he had recently inherited a fortune from his Uncle, and after a thief had attempted to steal a potion of this wealth, he had grudgingly decided to get guards to protect it until it could be properly taken care of, especially since it seemed the thief was not discouraged. After hearing this, Kakashi instructed Naruto to protect the items in any way he saw fit, and Sakura and Sasuke to hide themselves carefully, and watch Naruto in case he might need help. With that the Jounin poofed out of sight.

Naruto and Kyuubi guarded the front door lazily. Bored, Naruto wished that damn thief would hurry the hell up to get his ass kicked, as it was getting dark and, as Naruto predicted, foggy. The vessel and fox had already long since detected Sasuke in the mighty oak tree across the yard, and Sakura, not 10 feet away, in the bushes. The surroundings looked mysterious, unearthly, and even morbid, with all of the colors in the trees and grass seemingly being sucked away by the overly clouded sky. The fog floated in the air thickly, swirling around mysteriously as the breeze parted and closed it, even obscuring Sakura's vision of Naruto to a certain degree. And then, Naruto's wish was granted, as the cushioned sound of careful footsteps on grass met his ears. He looked to Kyuubi and the fox nodded, darting into the fog, as Naruto went in the opposite direction, both disappearing.

And just as they disappeared, the thief made his way to the house, treading softly. He seemed to be somewhat experienced as a thief, but did not seem to know anything about ninja, since he did not bother to conceal his chakra or look anywhere but the ground for traps. But as he stalked forward, he whirled back around as he heard the soft padding of footsteps, and saw in the mist the silhouette of a decent-sized fox, red eyes glowing menacingly.

"Who's there?" The thief called quietly, but surely. At first he wondered if he was mistaken, as the silhouette made no sound or movement, but as the fog parted he gained a clear view of the fox. "Stupid fox! Get out of here!"

Once again, the fox said nothing as the fog naturally closed on itself again, obscuring the thief's view of the animal. Then, a breeze caught up, parting the fog once again to reveal the fox gone. The thief snorted arrogantly, and turned back to the house... To see the fox once more.

"G-get out of here!" He cried quietly once more, growing slightly unsure. The fox cocked its head to the side, and its chops raised, mimicking a smile that looked more like a snarl.

"Worry not," It said in a deep voice, "Hurt thee, I shall not."

The thief was almost too stunned to answer. A talking fox!

"Hurt me! A fox hurt a human?" He only realized the irony in this after he said it.

"Not just any fox," It said gravely, smile vanishing.

"Ch-Che! W-what are you? Who s-sent you!" The thief was hardly bothering with stealth anymore, too amazed and unnerved by the talking fox.

"I hight thee Kyuubi. I am messenger of Inari." After it said this, the fog rolled around the fox once more and it disappeared.

"S-STAY STILL! It's forbidden to mention the Kyuubi!" The thief cried, whirling about wildly. He was just old enough to remember what had happened at the attack (for he was there), and had even lost a few family members to the demon fox, and though he had never met the vessel, had a deeply burrowed fear of the fox.

"Forbiden?" Came Kyuubi's voice through the mist. "And who forbid it?"

"S-sandaime Hokage." The thief looked around, afraid and terribly confused. He had heard tales of trickster kitsune, but this was outrageous.

"Peace." Kyuubi's voice came from the mist, "Inari hast a message for thee..."

"Sh-shut up! There is no such thing as Inari!" The thief bellowed, voice cracking as he did. Once again Kyuubi appeared in the fog, head cocked to the side in confusion.

"Dost thou not believe in me?" He whispered. "In Inari?" With that, the fox darted back into the mist. "Here I am, all around thee."

"Stay still, stay still, stay still!" The thief cried desperately, eyes rolling madly. "Stop playing games, trickster!"

"Games? This is no game! Stealing from Konoha gakure no Sato is no game." Kyuubi was exposed again, teeth bared in a silent snarl. The thief lunged at Kyuubi now, a small knife drawn, but the fox darted into the mist again-

-to appear immediately behind the thief through the fog. It was impossible to run that fast around him, even for a fox.

"I am still here!"

"How!" The thief cried, once again lunging at Kyuubi, only for him to dart into the fog once again. He looked about wildly, catching glimpses of a fox in the corners of his eyes, first at the right, then the left, then behind him. Everywhere.

"Because Inari is all around thee," Kyuubi called, from nowhere and everywhere at once, "In the mist, in the trees, in thine dreams and worst nightmares." The thief whirled, trying to follow the fox's movement. By now he was holding back tears of terror, and had nearly wet his trousers in fear. And there, Kyuubi stilled once more, back in his original spot. The fog began to close on him again, more slowly this time, and just as it nearly covered him, he spoke.

"Fear me..."

"... For I come when thou least expects it," He finished, reappearing to the thief's left. The poor man's eyes widened, and the growing pool at his feet proved he had wet himself. Kyuubi fell silent as he disappeared again.

"Ochiro!" Another man ran through the mist, slowly appearing as he came. The thief, Ochiro, looked at him hopelessly, stammering. "What's going on, I heard voices," The new man asked quietly, with enough sense to stay quite. Ochiro continued to stammer incoherently, the various phrases such as "Fox..", "Says he's Inari...", and "Came from everywhere...", made their way out. With a cry, Ochiro darted away, stumbling as he went.

"Bull, there's nothing out there," The new man said quietly to himself. "Idiot'll get his ass whooped in the morning."

"Thou must not punish him for telling the truth." The man's eyes shot to his right, spotting Kyuubi as the fog swirled to cover him once again.

"Who are you!"

"Inari's messenger."

"Over there," the man muttered to himself, whirling around to were he believed the fox was.

"No, here," Shouted Kyuubi. Growling with frustration, and letting loose a cry, the man plunged into the mist. His short cry of pain was heard a while later.

The rest of the night passed quickly, and as the sun came up and the fog dissipated, Sasuke and Sakura spotted Naruto and Kyuubi sitting upon the unconscious body of the second thief.

Ochiro personally admitted his crimes to the Hokage the next morning, begging to be forgiven.

In the morning when Kakashi asked Sasuke and Sakura how the mission went, Sakura fell silent. She, along with Ochiro, had been seriously unnerved by the display. Sasuke also felt the same, but for different reasons. He had only able to see the strategy thanks to his Sharingan; creating some kind of bunshin that all looked like Kyuubi (or in Sasuke's mind, Tenko), then transforming himself to look the same, and darting around through the fog cover, unnerving the thief. It was a genius plan, using almost every natural resource around him to disable the enemy in a (unfortunately) non-violent way.

But when asked how Naruto did, the Uchiha scoffed, looked away to the ground, and said the dope had to be rescued when the thief sneaked up on him and out-fought him. Kakashi merely looked down at Sasuke for a moment and answered:

"It's disrespectful for a student to lie straight to their teacher's face," The Jounin said slowly, "Especially when the teacher watched the entire test." Sasuke looked appalled.

Kakashi then turned away, and approached Naruto, who had accepted the blatant lie, silently looking away with unrecognizable look. Kyuubi, however, was snarling and spitting loudly in protest, red eyes blazing. "Congratulations, Naruto, you pass. Welcome to Team 7."

Unbeknownst to his students, though, Kakashi was also slightly unnerved with his new student's display, but, once again, for other reasons. His single eye wandered from Naruto's stomach, to Kyuubi, and back and forth many times the rest of the day.

Oooohhhh Naruto's all mysteriously evil :) This was a fun chapter to write, but I my poor beta was probably like "Dear god this person's crazy" No no not really. -runs off to hug Keeper- But even if it's mysterious and scary, stick around for next chapter to see Team 7 and Team 8 get paired up for a mission (oooohhh, ahhhh). Foxes and dogs were never the best of friends: HEADS WILL ROLL!

'azhe out.

(And dont forget about my cookie and undying love offer!)