Feeling for the First Time

After X-III This is all about Rogue and how she adjusts at life back at Xaviers. After regaining her "gift", she truely realizes how she must change, for the good or the bad...

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, I MAY include a few along the way but I'll let you know then..thanks!

-------

"I laid there on the end of my bed gazing out across the campus. Almost as if I were in a whole other dimension, I faintly remembered the lost memory of the first time I found out about my 'gift,' the day I made a boy end up in a comma for three weeks. I remember my parents constantly avoiding me, they had no idea, I could see the fear in their eyes, that the were genuinly afraid of their own daughter. I then left, trying to escape. I needed to be held, to be touched, to be loved. That's when I first went searching for someone who could help me. But the question: "How could anyone love me when I could never be touced?" kept popping up in my mind. I then found someone who cared, my 'father' so to speak. Wolverine became my 'parent' and he did love me. I thought with the cure, I could be loved by everyone. But, I was wrong. It wasn't the cure that could help to be loved, it was me. Now as I look at the sunset I know now that I must change. And I will become loved".

"A few months ago when I first came back with the cure, I had seen many of the childrens' faces grow sad as they passed me. My power was not as bad as some others, but the child inside of me needed to be touched, I thought it all for the best. As I walked in, I passed through the two friendly oak doors and I made my way up to the boys' dorms where I found Bobby. He was in his room with his jaw dropped as though he'd seen a ghost, (I couldn't really blame 'im). I excitedly embraced him. It felt so good to hug, I seemed to have held on for so long. As we let go he became very serious. He told me of the battle, the Professor, Scott, and Jean. At first I though him to be playing an extremely cruel joke, but there was no laughter. Then cam the part where he was going to be a part-time teacher, to help out with the children. I immediatly knew I had to help in any way I could. 'They could never close down the one place where I had found a home, think of all the other kids'. After Bobby had filled me in, I told him I needed some sleep so I left to un-pack my stuff. I went to my room to find two younger girls glancing through some of my old magazines. Apparently, my room was 're-assigned'. That's when Kitty came down the hallway and gave me a quick jolly 'ol fat hug. "God I still hate her!" She told me they had moved my things into her room for the time being. Now came the first regrets of my cure. I had missed my family, the battle, and the deaths of three close friends. Something had to change".

"As I looked through the trees, I hugged my knees together to find comfort in my skin. The cure had fully dissappeared and left me to my old power-sucking self. It oddly enough made me feel like,well... me. I had seen very little of Storm, Logan, Bobby, and even Kitty lately. They have all been teaching a lot of classes nowadays to help with the students, and now that the Brotherhood were temporarily out of business, there was less of a need for training. As I was completely lost in a trance, someone interffered by knocking on my door".

"Come on 'n".

"Uh, hey Rogue", said Bobby deadly silent.

"Heya boi", "I said as I gave him a quick smile".

"All I'm here for it to... "

"Come on... what is it"?

"Marie... " "This isn't good, his hands are shaking at his sides, and he's standing on the other side of the room, at least five feet away. I steadied myself for the blow, for this was going to be painful..." "I've just been really tired of lately, and I was kinda wondering if you would teach a gym class tomorrow", he said this as he glanced at me through clenched teeth. "What! That was it? Where's the: I'm sorry Rogue it just isn't working out between us! I couldn't believe him! I didn't know whether to be thankful or upset, I decided with immensely disturbed, but I didn't show it to him".

"I'd... be... delighted..."

"Well... thanks, and... you won't be alone, Peter's going to be there too. Storm insists on two seniors per class. I'm going to stay with Kitty in one of the biology rooms. I think she'll need a lot of help with her subject. Yesterday a kid turned her into a frog and tried to disect her". He softly chuckled. "I hated it." "I had to freeze the kids' feet so he'd undo it. Oh, and we wanted you to take a rest, have a month or so to recover, before we asked any favors. Now I was sort of hoping you'd think about helping out until we graduate"?

"I'm really beginning to lose my patience, I smiled a pleasant smile, while underneath, I was fucking boiling. I would have bitten him, had I somehow obtained fangs".

"Now how could I say no to you? I felt more empty inside without my powers... hey... I fogot to tell you my secret! Wanna hear?" "Payback time bitch"!

I gently stood up and my self scowl was replaced with a very seductive induced smile; I walked slowly towards him. As soon as I felt the cool ice of his breath he asked me if he wanted to know.

"Yes... "

"Watch" "I leaned in on him and evily placed my lips on his for long moments. Time stood still for us, I felt a false sense of love. In his kiss, worry and guilt flooded in to me. Even though he felt no pain, I still sucked all of his memories, and thoughts from him. I found he was going to end our relationship with me tonight, but he was weak, he couldn't bear to do it. I also saw glimpses of him and Kitty "together" for god only knows how long! I then made him feel pain. Inside, I was laughing at his suffering. I was enjoying watching him die. As I whispered: 'I told you you'd like my little secret... ', he drifted into a deep and painful sleep."

"Goodnight lover... "

-------

OMG, how fun was that? Bobby only got what he deserved! Hmm, well reviews chapters, so... COME ON PLEASE! Love, Mady...