Author Note: Hello and welcome to the 7th chapter of Heaven's Call, tragedy extraordinaire! Bleh, I sound like a plane pilot. I'm sorry again. I haven't updated in 2 weeks but at least this time it wasn't my fault. My computer crashed while I was typing and I lost my whole story. I had to type it all out again. On top of that I always write 3 chapters ahead of what I'm posting so I lost 4 chapters of writing. Ahhh! But , thankfully I'm over it now. Anyways, this whole chapter will be Hilary thinking and musing over her life, which is kind of boring I know, but it had to be this way else the next chapter would be all screwed up. The next chapter will be more romantic and I promise and it will just be KaixHilary. Here are the reviewer responses. I got some interesting reviews this week!
kai/hilary all the way- Thank-you for the review and compliments! Yes, the chapter was very sad. I felt bad for writing it but I find it intriguing to make characters sad for some strange reason. I'll defiantly check out some of your fanfictions. Hope you like this chapter!
Nubia- The last chapter was very sad. I was almost crying too. But, this is an angst fic. Besides, I kind of enjoy making the characters suffer. It's rather fun. Hopefully you'll get a better understanding of how Hilary feels in this chapter and it might give you some hints on what she is going to do. Thank-you for the review and sorry that I didn't update soon!
Chibi-Kari- I'm glad that you really felt deeply about the last chapter. The 'feeling of betrayal even though it wasn't' was exactly what I wanted to get through to my readers. You still don't know what is going to happen! Oh well, it will make the end that much more satisfying. The end will be very beautiful though. The ending scene was my inspiration for the whole fic. Thank-you for the review and I hope you like this new chapter!
Hutchy- Thanks for the review. Hilary screamed because she was feeling unbelievable pain. You will understand more why she does what she does at the end of the fic., then everything will become clear.
Phoenix roar- I'm glad you liked the drama. I really tried to get the emotions through clearly. Angst/Drama is my favorite genre of writing to do. Sorry that I haven't updated for such a long time, but when your computer crashes…well, you just have to deal with it. Thank-you for the review and I hope that you like the next chapter.
Random Reviewer- I'm sorry that I haven't updated in sooo long! I swear I was going crazy trying to write 4 chapters in 2 weeks! Anyways, your review was very perceptive, even though I should have expected that from you. Originally, when I wrote this chapter I had intended Max and Ray leaving to go with the plot, plus it would make the story extra sad (you'll understand more at the end of the fic.). It would enable me to focus more on the KaixHilary romance without distraction. I guess you could say that it got rid of them as well; it all depends on how you look at it. But truthfully, I had intended it to make Hilary even more tortured. Anyways, thank-you for the review and I hope you like the 7th chapter!
Mrs. Sumpter- Oh, no. This story isn't near the ending. Quite a few chapters to go yet! The ending made me very sad as well, and that's exactly how it's supposed to make you feel. It gets you into the story mood. Sorry for making you wait so long for the next chapter! Thank-you for the review and I hope you like this chapter!!!
Lightning Aurora- Thank-you for the review and the very consistent compliments! I'm glad some people like my story. As for not believing I excel at writing…well, I guess I have some insecurity problems. I just don't want to let the readers down! Sorry for making you wait so long for the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it!
Devour Thy Flame- Thank-you very much for your review and praise! It's nice to have people that like your writing style. I really liked the idea about Kai being like a father to Max. Max has always struck me as a little bit young and Kai sooo…well, mature, I guess. I really enjoy angst too. That is where my inspiration came from for this fic. I could imagine the sad scenes so vividly in my mind. This story is not close to being finished so don't worry. I was originally thinking it would be about 15-20 chapters but I starting to think it might be more than 20. Who knows…Anyways, I hope you like this chapter!
angel14- Ah, my most interesting review…ever, I believe. Where should I start…I guess, I should tell you that you'll have to wait for quite a bit for the climax to come. The climax will be in the last two chapters or so, and I'm thinking that this story will be at least 20 chapters. My style of writing refuses to be rushed. I take pride in details and to include details I cannot rush to get to the climax. I'm sorry but that is the way it is. I'm also very sorry that I haven't updated in a while but you have to realize that I have a life other than writing stories and when my computer crashes and I lose all my former chapters there is nothing I can do. I will promise though that I will work extra hard on this story because I know that there are dedicated readers out there like you. I'm very flattered that you like my fic enough to care about how often I update. Don't despair, I am in control of where this story is going and I won't just quit in the middle because I have no idea on how to end it. Again, sorry for making you wait so long and I hope you enjoy the next chapter.
There were some very perceptive reviews this week, I'm impressed. I now know that people actually read between the lines in my story and I'm very glad. Anywho, fasten your seatbelts and hold on for we have a bumpy road of misery ahead of us ( I sound like a plane pilot again)!
Disclaimer: I know I haven't had one of these for the last few chapters but…oh well, I don't own Beyblade or any of it's characters. I also don't own 'Fly' by Hilary Duff (it just fit in with the theme).
Heaven's Call
The Scent of Change…
I let go,
Didn't know
Where the answer would be…
A couple days later
In a moment everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday
Wind. Wind carries with it the scent of change. A playful thing, it pounces with destiny and differs things from their usual state of body… or mind. Like change, wind can be refreshing and soft, sighing gently past your ear. But sometimes, wind can be an object of terror. When it's power reaches it's full force, there will be no controlling it. In that way, wind is also like change…
Rays of the failing sunlight peeked between branches of towering trees in a park located near the middle of town. Muted noise could be heard coming from a gathering of people, picnicking on the right side of the path. Laughter and the sound of games sounded, filtering through the leafy foliage of a bush blocking the view from the gravel path itself. Two lovers strolled nearby, hand in hand, whispering secrets in each other's ear. The almost tropical sunset and the shimmering waters of the small pond made for a perfect romantic scene.
Hilary, who sat on a nearby bench, eyed the lovers with slight envy. More of a quiet girl, she had never had a boyfriend, much less even thought about one. But now as bitterness welled up inside her she wished for someone, who could hold her and whisper comfort into the hair above her ear. Someone who could tell her everything fine and reassure her even if it was false. She wished desperately for warm arms to wrap around her body and take away her pain, for she was lost.
She sighed as she leaned back on the wooden bench and turned her head toward the dazzling sunset. The area was quiet now and Hilary silently studied the sunset with her ruby orbs as if trying to find the slightest things wrong with its perfect exterior. Not finding anything the slightest bit out of place she once again heaved a sigh and stood up. Wrapping her arms around herself she started off slowly down the path, heading nowhere in particular.
Pain and the rage of having no choice were writhing inside her stomach like a snake. It made her want to retch onto the clean, freshly mowed lawn of the park. She wanted to cry out loud and let the whole world know what was slowly consuming her body.
No. Just escape. I just wanted to escape from my horrible nightmare of a life.
Though Hilary's misery was real she had decided not to take the easy way out and kill herself. The thought of a rope going over her neck or slitting her wrists made her want to retch all over again. She would not even take an overdose of pills, which would be virtually painless, to end her misery. She was…afraid. It was too scary to imagine. Weren't there already so many things in the world that could take your life at any given moment? Why create one more way that death could claim you? But overall, her morals won over. She believed suicide was the coward's way out of facing your life problems. Hilary was stubborn enough to resist suicide…for the moment.
She cursed silently, under her breath as a tear leaked out the corner of her eye.
God, I'm so weak. Come on Hilary, be strong!
Regaining her composure, she quickly sniffed away her tears and continued on her way. Ebony eyelashes closed and opened slowly as she studied the ground and the tiny specks of dirt covering the path and sighed with mixed emotions. She raised her head again and turned, heading down a slight rise of ground, toward the small pond. Hilary reached out and pushed the long stalks of grass out of her way to get to a secret hollow that she knew. When she was little, a visit to 'The Hollow' as she called it, every day, was inevitable. Far into the deep grass there was a tiny clearing and the long stalks of grass arced up to form a dome of silky vegetation. The ground was a mix of moss and soft, white sand littered with glassy pebbles and the downy feathers of ducks. The water of the pond lapped gently against the shore like a mother's sweet lullaby and lulled even the most agitated person to a sense of calm and serenity.
Hilary finally stumbled into the tiny hollow of grass and sat down, with her knees under her, near the waters edge. Small drawings of various animals on stones and tiny carvings of wood were all that was left to show that Hilary had ever been here. She smiled as she gently picked up a half-finished carving of the mysterious dragoon. As a child she had played games like any other child played, spinning webs of alluring fantasy with her magical imagination. But as she got older, her visits became less and less frequent and finally she had stopped coming all together, and only visited her childhood secret place when she was deep in thought.
On the day that Tyson had yelled at her and made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her was the last time she had visited The Hollow. Sitting and letting tears run down her cheek unnoticed, she had idly started carving Tyson's best friend, Dragoon himself. But in her frustration had thrown it down and stamped on it before it was finished.
Now, Hilary again sat deep in thought in her favorite childhood memory as her fingers worked with a piece of wood. She peered down at her reflection in the sparkling waters of the lake and thought about life.
What do we live for anyway?
The question echoed around her thoughts and nagged her until she shook her head with frustration.
We go to school to get a degree so we can work and then retire and then what? We die? Isn't there something bigger for us? A huge plan in which we are all part of?
But in life there are still the small things that we can live for. Going to see your family on holidays, or getting your first kiss. And there are also the big things, such as having kids or getting married. But what is the purpose behind life itself?
Hilary's hands worked furiously with a small knife and wood piece that she had picked up, though without her notice. Her eyes were busy staring back at her reflection in the shallow water that licked at the sandy shore. Her thoughts were clouded with doubt now and she was starting to reconsider her choice concerning suicide.
Suicide. It sounds so scary. If I could just find a reason to live...
A new thought entered the abyss of her mind.
But what if we are on this earth to make it a better place? Alive to experience the joy of making something better than it is? Is that our reason to live?
Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control…
But the freezing depths of the water were beginning to look more and more friendlier. A bodiless voice was calling her, 'Come on, just do it, then all your pain will be over forever…' Her hand went limp and the wood fell from it and bounced down to lay in the white sand near the water's edge. Trembling, Hilary arose and stared as if transfixed with the gentle sway of the water. Her mind worked franticly, searching for a reason, any reason to stop what she was doing. Her bare foot rose and when it came down she prepared herself to dive into the unforgiving depths of the pond. (It's a deep pond O.K?)
I need a reason. There is no reason to live. If there is none then why should I?
"Ooofff!" She grunted as her foot came down on something sharp and she fell over hard. Quickly rising, she bent over to see what had pierced the soft skin of her foot. Her breathing was coming in short gasps and fear pumped into her bloodstream with every heartbeat. But the fear of almost dieing was momentarily forgotten when she saw what had stopped her from diving to her death into the deep waters of the pond.
What she saw was a tiny wooden carving, the one she had just unconsciously been carving, lying with a touch of blood on it. The wood was carved in the shape of a tiny bird. Careful designs of his long tail feathers and his fiercely, pointed beak looked almost as if he was real. Wings poised out to each side of him he looked as if ready for flight. But not just any bird, the beautiful fire bird himself, a phoenix in all it's glory, Dranzer.
In spit of herself she smiled softly and the patters of fading sunlight danced on her face. Her thumb gently stroked the smooth surface of the poised wings as her heartbeat slowed to a regular beat. Her thoughts stopped working franticly and only one thought lazily drifted around the confines of her mind.
That's it. This is my reason to live. (Take that any way you want)
Walking along slowly, Hilary gained ground on a tall, rolling hill on the other side of the shining pond below. Her fear of what could be was hidden below the layers of personality resting just under her recognition of self-control. Her eyes traveled to gaze fearfully back down at the pond as her restless memory stirred with thoughts of what might have been. The sunlight from the almost set sun caught her eyes in its rays and gently guided her head back to the top of the hill where she was now standing.
Her eyes beheld the sun and its golden power, its radiance. The earth seemed to be trying to swallow the sun whole and Hilary was uncomfortably reminded of something lost. A gift from the heavens that was false. Given to you with joy, only to disappear and leave you in dark despair. Or it would be taken from you, unfairly, unjustly and leave you in a spectrum of lost hope.
Pain and sadness that had hid in a pocket behind her heart now snaked along the edges of her emotions and flowed through her body like blood. She felt sobs rising and she desperately tried to hold them down. Her shoulders slumped as if from a great weight. She looked up at the sun again and was surrounded in its glorious light bringing with it the dread of the lost gift. A sob escaped her lips and her eyes again traveled to meet the waters of the lake below her. Her body moved as if gliding towards it, ever so slowly. Her closed mind didn't recognize the danger. All she felt was the sorrow and…then…something else. Something soft caressing her skin, whispering in her ear.
She turned around to face the gentle touch of the wind and let it play with the edges of her hair and clothes. She listened gratefully to the words of comfort it whispered and her pain faltered with surprise. She once again turned to the waters of the pond, but this time she had something else in mind.
Fly; open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try.
Cause it's your time,
Time to fly.
Reining her sorrow her legs started to pound the ground, finding a hidden beat and fresh earth went flying into the air. She spread her arms and raised her face to the sapphire globe above her. Closing her eyes she tried to imagine what it would be like flying up in the endless blue expanse of sky like a bird.
Her mouth opened a crack and a hint of a smile appeared which soon turned into a wide, beaming laugh. She picked up speed as she ran faster and faster down the side of the hill. Now, she could forget the sorrow and pain. Now, she could forget the choice and responsibility. Now, she could forget life. Now, she was free. There were no chains to bind her to this earth and she felt as if she could really fly. Just a leap into the sky was all it would take.
Her laughter faltered as she hit a stone and went tumbling down the hill in a tangled mass of arms and legs. But as she neared the bottom, her laughter burst out again, in full force.
As she lay in the downy cradle of silky, green grass and the wind played softly over the edges of her hair, she changed. Hilary was now, who she was before. Just a normal girl, with a normal life. The scar that the pain had left healed in an instant after her run of freedom. It felt so good to be free and her heart was exalted to new heights.
But her laughter faltered again for when she looked up, expecting to see the sapphire blue sky with a hint of pink, symbolizing sunset, she met instead the beautiful crimson eyes that were uncomfortably familiar.
Kai...
Author Note: Just incase none of you got it, Dranzer was supposed to represent Kai and something else, but I'm not telling you what. I just let you take that part however you want. Anyways, I'm just in the middle of writing the 9th chapter and I can tell you now that the KaixHilary romance will be about 2 to 3 chapters. It might even extend to 4, depending on how detailed I get. I hope all of you readers liked this chapter though I had some mixed feelings on it myself. Kind of boring, but I found the end hilarious. I would be embarrassed of anyone saw me running down a hill and then tripping and laughing about it like a lunatic, but Hilary has to cope with her pain somehow. She finally learned to accept her fate, whatever that might be. I had to have her happy somehow, she couldn't be glum all her life. And just a note, When Hilary was thinking about 'the gift from the heavens that is false' she was talking about something that we all have, but I'm not going to tell you what because that might give away the end. Anyways, I'm really sorry about not updating and I'll try to update faster this week but I'm not sure if I will be able to. It's December and I have tons of concerts and so forths to go to. I'll try really hard though. Hope all the Americans out there had a happy Thanksgiving! R&R and try to be nice!